It’s A Trap!

I was busy ironing for Thoughtful Man when he called out down the stairs, “John Nash is dead”. “Who?” I replied distractedly; I was having a hell of time getting a crease out of his shirt for the night shift with the rank and file …

“John Nash. You know, ‘A Beautiful Mind'”. He magically appeared before me, wiggling his Apple in my face as confirmation of the news …

*No Clicky. Right actor, wrong film …*

“The bloke who invented Game Theory? I’ve seen a documentary about that …”. I started setting down Hot ‘n’ Steamy to tell him about it, when he abruptly cut me short.

“Tell me later, I’ve got to get out to work”. Two things about Thoughtful Man: he’s lived with me a long time and he really detests being late.

Anyhoo, he’s gone to work now, so I’ve asked Clicky to find the documentary for him watch it later … Ah, it is now …

*It comes in three parts? Gosh, Clicky, thank you for searching them all out … you really are boon for the LoL …*

*Strange, too … Here, have a Song …*

Have Sock, Will Travel

Little Sock is small and white. Okay, the sole is grayish – it had been worn by Little Boys – but that’s beside the point. Little Sock is my travelling companion and this is the story of how that came to pass. Dear Reader, it’s actually quite embarrassing…

*Nice job starting that in the right place, Clicky… /pats snouth… You can carry on helping me tell the story…*

It happened a few years ago, one cold, dark winter’s morning…

Laden with old laptop (i.e. heavy) and handbag overstuffed with paperwork, I pulled my big-arse coat close around me…

…and set off up to The Big Smoke for an early morning meeting with senior managers. On the way I did as other commuters do…

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…and so didn’t notice the stowaway sock on my shoulder…

*I do not look like that, Clicky! …/thinks… Okay, maybe during the train portion of the journey…*

From Here to There, Little Sock had a grand view of the journey: train, tube and trot through windswept tunnels and frozen roads. To anyone I passed, it must have looked like I’d taken a direct hit from a great height…

The first time I noticed the stowaway was when I shook my coat off at the other end. Little Sock floated to the floor… In front of the bods I was meeting!

Apparently, Thoughtful Man had everso thoughtfully used my coat, innocently hanging over the banister the night before, as a suitable place to dry Little Sock. The poor thing, having lost its sibling, was still damp after coming out of the washing machine…

*Rude…*

That would have just been an embarrassing story; however, it only happened again less than a week later!

nwy

*Way, Clicky!*

Little Sock, it appears, had got a taste for travelling. Not wanting to give the impression that I’m Big Bird’s toilet again…

…I decided to give Little Sock pride of place in my handbag. That way it could travel with me everywhere…

Stowaway Little Sock at home

*I’m just thankful it was Little Sock and not Little Boots, Clicky…*

Dear Reader… Have a Song 😉

It started with a kick

We got off on the wrong foot, Pepsi and I. She was startled and I was oblivious … it was not an auspicious start …

*Indeed Clicky. How was I to know my attempt to say ‘hello’ would result in her death?*

*Aww … thank you ❤ *

Pepsi was Mother’s cat and they adored each other. She would lie on Mother’s lap as they watched the telly; the rising hill just meant Pepsi had a better view of …

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In the spring of 1967 she was a contented cat. That was until the day the earth moved …

*Ah yeah… No, Pepsi didn’t see it that way …*

*Quite!*

And it got worse for her as the kicking, ninja belly grew … less and less attention was spent in her direction as more and more was lavished on it. She withdrew to the top of the wardrobe and kept a careful watch on proceedings with her glowing green eyes …

When it was nearly time for me to arrive, Father brought home my cot. Mindful of what Pepsi was capable of, he made some provision …

Unfortunately, this was seen as a …

… and boy did she rise to it. The next day dad woke to find the netting ripped to shreds and the cat fast asleep where the baby would lay. He made the decision then, Pepsi would have to go …

*Unfortunately yes, Clicky. He didn’t have time to find a new home for her because I, too, had made a decision … to arrive …*

Pepsi died on the day I was born. Father took her to the vet and the deed was done. I didn’t get the chance to meet her … until later that is …

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As a small child, I would play in my parents’ bedroom, happily babbling away, the way small children do. Mother asked me, “Who are you talking to?”

“The cat.” pointing upward at the empty space on top of the wardrobe. I’m fairly certain we managed to straighten out the misunderstanding between us then, Pepsi and me.

*Thank you for listening, Clicky … have a Song …*

Don’t Panic! Update I

Hello Neighbours!

I thought you might like an update on work going on here at the LoL. It’s stressful. Not the construction – that’s coming along a pace. No, it the stuff that goes inside; there’s quite a lot of it and squirrelled away in all kinds of places. Most of it lovingly protected in a thick layer of … um… what’s the word …?

*Thank you Clicky.*

*That’s quite alright. We couldn’t have you running around bare legged now, could we?*

Scruffy, the chap in charge of the logistics on site, has been quite helpful in this regard. He suggested I consolidate all our fantabulous materials. Genius! It seems to be working so well for the build, I thought I’d give it a try. The only problem being was the lack of a shed …

*Yes, Click. Spectacular*

Eventually some space was found and the consolidating could begin …

*Alright! Just show the photos please, and do stop smirking, I’ll narrate.*

Really, it very green … recycled racking …

… even the walls were utilised … plenty of space …

… we were even able to start putting recollections together …

… ready to be installed when the Library is ready. Drip-fed of course, because there is just so darn much of it … lots of hidden treasures. Which reminds me. You may have spotted the smoking notice I’ve put up. I was reminded to do so after rediscovering this neglected item…

Really, Scruffy has been most accommodating with his ideas. He even lent me a copy of his handbook … extraordinarily useful … I’ll must dip into it again …

*Thank you, Click! Now would you like some bacon?*

Let’s start at the very beginning …

Arrived at last!*

Hello! I’m Roobeedoo … Drat! I can see I’ve already arrived … Never mind, I’m here now, but more importantly I’ve got the Logistics Plan with me for this new build Library.

I warn you, all construction projects have peaks and troughs in the programme, but having a good Logistics Plan works wonders to smooth them out and keep down costs.

They are also very Green … ensuring less waste and better productivity when materials arrive exactly when needed … much safer all round. Quite frankly all Project Managers should have one.

Visitors are welcome whilst work is on going, there is PPE enough for everyone who signs in. Whilst you’re doing that, have a Song …

* An unfortunate side-effect of hopping between universes is a tendency for shambolic timing … the past is the future and the future past. A good attitude toward being seen as unfashionable is essential.

Cracked Up Pepper

I’d like to introduce another Assistant Librarian at the LoL … Kit Bisto

Ahh …

… ain’t he sweet. I keep a close eye on him though because … well the wrong influence could potentially turn him into …

… Darth Kitten. Believe me, no universe would be safe as the young man absolutely refuses to lose an argument.

We can spend days discussing storylines and character merits from Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Tonight, however, he asked me to consider the following (longish, I warn you) video for inclusion in the Library. I’ve agreed because … well, in my day job I am referred to as Pepper Potts by a dashing ex-RAF Wing Commander. I’m rather flattered by that even though, if I’m brutally honest, I’m probably more like Miss Funny-Fanny …

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Anyhoo … presenting Kit Bisto’s Library clip … ‘Iron Man VS Lex Luthor DEATH BATTLE!’ … It’s most amusing and informative. For instance, I hadn’t realised that Tony Stark was actually adopted …

If you’ve sat through that, you probably deserve a Song, so please do have one …

Gazing into the Abyss … An Occassional Series

Whoa! That looks like an ugly purple growth!

According to A Void obligatory selfie …

: Red Universe A Void is bloody marvellous

Not sure if you folks will agree, but GROWTH is not always healthy or desirable, no matter what the politicians say …

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Sometimes the best kinda growth is GREEN …

But here, again, be careful there is not too much of a liberal lashing …

: Jealousy: Mad about you – A symptom of neurotic insecurity?

If you want to find out more, you need to employ a ‘Click’ or two. I have a super one, moved in a while ago … I have no idea where he came from …

And whilst Click is working, please do have a Song …

Purple Growing Pains

This is fascinating. The map of second placed parties is splodged with purple. pic.twitter.com/GQrgmqSeQ8

— Joe Murphy (@JoeMurphyLondon) May 8, 2015

The Red Team lost BIG at yesterday’s General Election. Not only did they fail to beat the ‘Baby Eating’ Blue Team (‘the Horror!’), but their leader then vacated, found themselves flushed out of Scotland and, most unexpectedly, received an almighty kick to a very special area *wince*.

Until a new leader can be found, Harriet Harman will take the reins of the Red Team. Good luck with that!

Love the purple cardie – gotta get me one of those … 😉

Seriously, if you do find you have a purple growth – Go see your Doctor. If, however, you’re just feeling dizzy and nauseated ‘cos your team didn’t win yesterday, can I suggest you … have a Song …

How it should have ended.

Election Day today. This morning I voted for Purple in the General and for Bacon in the Local. Support was given to the former because they don’t despise me as a tax paying smoker. Hopes are not terribly high for a good outcome because of the electoral system. But in the success of the latter, I have more confidence entirely …

This evening, as the Exit Poll came in (expected seat wins for the Purples: 2), Assistant Librarian Monsieur Loopy Moostash approached …

… and asked me to consider a video clip for inclusion in the LoL. Upon reviewing I am happy to oblige …

Election results will be revealed tomorrow. In the meantime, have a Song …

EPILOGUE … A NEW THORPE

Independent councillors are PURPLE in Southend. I should have know, two of them were standing outside the Scout Hut where I voted …

Ee By Gum … Enough Werble Dire Hearing? Part 2

Talk about a sync! After posting Part 1, Thoughtful Man decides to go food shopping for the week and asks “What do you fancy? Do you have any particular HANKering?”

hanker (v.) c. 1600, of unknown origin, probably from Flemish hankeren, related to Dutch hunkeren “to hanker,” of unknown origin; perhaps an intensive of Middle Dutch hangen “to hang” (see hang (v.)). If so, the notion is of “lingering about” with longing or craving. Related: Hankered; hankering.