Do you like football, Dear Reader? Or ‘soccer’ if you’re a Yank…

Back in 1999 there was a lot of tabloid coverage of an incident involving two players of opposing sides… Red v Blue…

England and Chelsea player Graeme Le Saux lashed out with his elbow at England and Liverpool player Robbie Fowler after enduring much taunting throughout the match.

Le Saux is heterosexual, and he and his wife, Mariana, have two children. Despite this, rumours that he was homosexual circulated throughout his career after he said that he had spent a summer holiday with one of his Chelsea teammates, Ken Monkou. He attributed this to his lack of enthusiasm for the “typical” footballer’s lifestyle, his university background, and the fact that he read a left-wingbroadsheet newspaper, The Guardian.

This led to abuse from opposition fans and even players. He was involved in a running series of taunts with Liverpool striker Robbie Fowler while playing for Chelsea against Liverpool on 27 February 1999. During the game, Fowler repeatedly bent over and pointed his backside in Le Saux’s direction. Le Saux delayed taking a free kick to protest about Fowler’s behaviour and was booked for time wasting. Fowler claimed in an autobiography that at one point during the match, Le Saux shouted “But I’m married!”, which was followed up by Fowler’s quip “So was Elton John, mate!” Le Saux himself said that this never happened, and that Fowler had used ‘dramatic licence’ to make him look funny.

If you’re familiar with cricket, Dear Reader, you will recognise this as a form of sledge. The Aussies are considered the masters of this…

Anyhoo, I hadn’t seen or heard much of Graeme Le Saux for a while. I’d quite forgotten all about him although he’s done some media work since his playing career finished. And according to the Wiki write up, he did some work for a financial institution…

So it interesting to see a clip of the brainiac ex-footballer today Pledging… And wouldn’t you know it, he was talking out of his arse!

“People are obviously making the wrong choices, so we’ve got to help them understand and educate people away from this sort of behaviour, and protect our kids.”

‘Our kids’… ‘OUR kids’… */sigh…* No. MY kids. What they eat and drink is up to US – them, me and Thoughtful Man and no other fucker. Especially not a bunch of foul, well off smuggies and their 21st Century idea of Victorian philanthropy…

*/quizzical expression… Any Old Iron?*

*Ah, Clicky… /nods… Any old iron hoof… Or, as the boys might say, Le Saux is so gay…*

Oh course, this grotesque packaging fad started with the thin end of the wedge and the fuckwits in government listening to Tobocco Control…

Have a Song.