CLICK5: In The Kingdom Of Wokender

30-Day Song Challenge: Childhood!

Day 29 of the LoL’s epic thirty day challenge, Dear Reader, and today we’re remembering songs from childhood…

*Sounds like gobbledygook, Clicky… /lights up and smokes…*

 

anglo american celtic viking band 4

*And what does that mean?!*

anglo american celtic viking band 5

^Legs & Co: Birdie Song / The Tweets (TOTP, 01 Oct 1981)^

Enjoy! ❤

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Day 29: songs remembered from childhood

Cade’s first song pick…

A lot of this is going to come from television. I can see no way around it. It’s either going to be television, church or school since that is the holy Trinitron™ of streams providing music to young ears in my time. I’ve already done a lot of stuff from my childhood, so in order to meet the criteria for today’s specific challenge, I guess we’ll go with television seeing as how church and school were pretty much still stuck in 19th century music when I was a kid. Not that television was that much different, but unlike church and school, television certainly was trying to figure out how to upgrade their musical models.

^Merrie Melodies & Looney Tunes – Opening themes.^

Roob’s first song pick…

Weird that Cade chose to focus in on TV music from his childhood, as the one song I’d fixed upon including in this post – before even receiving his choices – was the theme tune for a sports show on TV…

*No, that’s not the one I’m specifically thinking of Clicky, though we did watch it at Sunday teatime…*

*Fuck! I’d forgotten just how much cricket I was subjected to as a kid…*

*I’ll admit, there was quite a lot of it I did like…/flicks ash… But that’s not it. Seriously, we could be here all fuckin’ day if you’re gonna keep on guessing, Clicky…*

takes checkered flag

*Close…*

^Classic UK TV Theme ~ Pot Black (Black And White Rag)^

Cade’s second song pick…

Loads of music came in via the idiot box. Mostly musical snippets and blurbs. Lots of fade-ins, lots of fade-outs, and lots of musical chunks that really didn’t belong to a tune, but rather just disconnected and otherwise disjointed musical sounds added for dramatic effect. A xylophone tapping out a cadence to let you know that the news was on. Or maybe a bar or two of some dramatic horns with kettle drums banging away in order to snap your attention away from whatever you were involved in whilst simultaneously raising your pulse rate. Television producers were some devious fucks way back. Loads of people graduating colleges with sociology, psychology, and marketing degrees, and you must put them to work in some capacity in order to prove the the educational system is A) working, and B) pays off in the long run. The practical side being, these young minds you are employing bring with them fresh perspectives on squeezing dollars out of the public, whilst simultaneously remaining malleable enough that they can likely be made to not make distinctions between light and dark. Afterall, they need their jobs. They gotta eat. So you cross some lines here and there…so what?

^Zoom opening credits – Season 3, Cast 2^

Roob’s second song pick…

*Kid shows full of kids. Yuck! Ironic, too, considering that one ran for decades… /blows smoke rings… Oh, I didn’t know Russell T Davies worked on that show…*

*Was it a case of ‘Why don’t you… regenerate Doctor Who?’ …/smirks…*

^We could have been anything – Bugsy Malone^

Cade’s third song pick…

The answers as to why samplers and sampling became so popular in music are right there, you possibly just aren’t looking at things as they really are. Everything got put on the clock at some point. Everything got condensed. The radio was still a bit fluid with respect to time, and also fluid with respect to their programming. But not television. Television was relentless. You have a block of time, in time, and that’s all the time you get. That means anything and everything is over-produced. No raw, no rare, everything is well-done. Rehearsed and practiced to perfection. Sequenced. Quantized. Sterilized. Clean. Machine like. Nothing left to chance. The art has been, and is still being, perfected.

Digress

You’ve got somewhere between 30 and 60 seconds to get your brand out there with a shiny and smiling face, and you gotta do so in such a way that people are gonna beat a path to your door. God only knows how much time, effort and resources went into producing that perfect commercial, but you can bet it was a lot. Pouring weeks or even months into a few seconds. Getting into people’s heads a few seconds at a time, and staying there. Yeah, I’m thinking that it caught on.

^SPEED RACER 1967 Cartoon Intro^

Roob’s third song pick…

The one song that completely captivated me during my childhood, was also encountered via the telly. When my school put the play on for Christmas, I practiced and practiced singing it before the afternoon of auditions in the school gym. I was so excited to be asked to stay on once Mr Ford, the teacher/director, had made his shortlist of candidates for the leading role. That excitement was matched by my complete and utter disappointment to discover that I was only there to help stack the gym benches back along the wall once the auditions were over…

sad dog

*/shrugs… Yeah… /stubs butt… I got two speaking parts and simulated the tornado sound, so I actually ended up with 3 roles in the play, Clicky…*

^Somewhere Over the Rainbow – The Wizard of Oz ((1/8) Movie CLIP (1939) HD^

The final word to Cade…

My intent today was not to be morose or glum and gloomy. I had no idea what I was being fed at the time. Just someone born into the world when I was, and have spent a good portion of the rest of the time trying to make some kind of sense of it all. And, I honestly don’t remember much outside of television with respect to music other than a lot of the ground I’ve already covered in both this 30-day thingie, plus a lot of the writing I’ve done over the past few years. I guess I make distinctions between television and radio music because music on the radio seemed to be more about giving, whereas stuff on television was all about taking. Music on the radio willingly opened a door and gave freely, whereas the stuff on television was more akin to sticking a crowbar in the door to break in or maybe picking the locks. So yeah, the music I remember from “my childhood” is a lot of bits and pieces of nonsense. A chaotic scramble of nonsensical noise created for the express purpose of getting inside my head, and staying there. Consumer 4 Life.

^The Mamas & The Papas – Monday Monday^

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We reach the end of the song challenge tomorrow and the final task…

*And Cade and Poppy and Legs, Clicky… /pats snout… And you…*

… When we’ll be suggesting songs that remind us our ourselves. If there’s a song that reminds you of yourself, Dear Reader, pop it into the comments, below, and we’ll include it in the grand finale 😀

Until then, have a Song 😉

^Fade Away And Radiate – Blondie (1978) FLAC Remaster 1080p^

 

Missive From ‘Merica: Tales of Tooth

Social media has gone mad for a picture of a hare with a cigarette in its mouth taken at Dublin Airport on Sunday.

Dear Reader, I saw the photo of the smoking leporid on Twitter this morning…

… However, all is not what it seems…

But Dublin Airport have revealed the truth about the animal – it actually has an overgrown tooth.

They said: “Sorry to spoil all the online jokes, but don’t think that hare has a cigarette in its mouth. It’s more likely an overgrown tooth.”

… I got a missive this morning from Cade about a missing tooth…

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Maybe it's time we discussed my missing tooth...

I had been a professional hockey player for most my career until I retired at the end of it. I was the top scoring goalie of all time, averaging an average of 16 touchdowns per game on average. Our team was on our way to our third consecutive NASCAR Winston Cup Championship, and if we could win this final game, we’d achieve it. However, we were playing our old nemisiseses on their own turf, which was actually ice and not turf, but whatever.

Their lead-defenseman was somehow this old goalie’s personal nemesis, but only because I played more offense than defense, and it pissed this guy off no end that a goalie was scoring all the goals and setting all the records. As a matter of fact, the only scoring record that I didn’t hold was scoring on myself, which they don’t have a record for. Interesting footnote here…the league considered creating such a category to make things a little more fair for anyone playing us, but never did.

The day finally arrived. It was raining heavily just prior to the game start, and there was concern as to how it would affect our performance as a team. There was even discussion amongst the league officials as to whether the game should even be played at all or postponed until the weather cleared. But once we got indoors and inside the arena, those fears faded. The game…was on.

The game had been going on since the starter shot a hole in the green flag with a flare gun. Tt was a massacre. We had scored so many touchdowns in the first 3 first-halves of play, that the officials stopped keeping score. This angered our nemisiseses, who had not scored a point all night because they felt like they were being taunted by the “999” on the three-numbered scoreboard. But that’s as high as it went…so contact the manufacturer’s customer service in the off-season.

There were only 7 more quarters or so left to play and we were winning. As they were no longer keeping score I just hovered by the beer cart near the net at my end. My nemesis couldn’t get at me at this end. Besides I was getting pretty fucking drunk by that point anyway, and the last thing we need in a hockey game is a rugby scrum. Little did I know that’s exactly what we were about to get.

I had been averaging over 17 minutes of play-time per quarter during the game, which is weird because there are only 15 minutes in a quarter. Now that the game was all but wrapped up, I was averaging 18 beers per quarter, which is pretty cheap.

Anyway…their main forward spun out in turn two, hit the retaining wall at full-speed, but was able to hit the eject button in time and was now dangling from his parachute in the rafters. This meant he was out for the remainder of the game when they could safely drag the ladders out onto the ice to retrieve him.

As a result, their team called for “the double-substitution”. This allowed them to switch a defenseman to offense (if they are doing so badly that this is really the only option they have left), but since they called the double-sub, this meant that the player’s stick has suddenly become defective and/or unusable. If there is no suitable replacement equipment available, he can use whatever is handy to replace it with.

Had I known that there was a rugby tournament in the arena the night before, what happened next probably wouldn’t have been so confusing to me. One of the rugby players had apparently left some of equipment from the night before in our nemisiseses’ pit stalls, and so…he came at me with a cricket bat.

I mean…the guy didn’t even have the puck. He just came at me, full speed, with that big ass bat’s business end pointed right at me. I was already so drunk that I assumed it was some sort of trick play. Plus, I had almost half a beer left, so it took me a moment to decide whether to set the cup down and finish it later, or if I had time to slam it back and throw the cup at him before he got to me.

I opted for the latter, and don’t remember much after that. I hear there’s a video of it on YouTube tho. I dunno. I haven’t re-watched it in a long time.

Anyway, I lost a tooth in the process.

(Story inspired by someone tweeting something about Hockey on Twitter)

cYacFa

^Gnarls Barkley – Crazy^

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*Any luck finding that video on YouTube, Clicky?*

20723024

*Aw never mind… /pats snout…*

Now, Cade and the hockey fan, Kitty, both live in Texas and today there was another story about a kerfuffle in Texas with ICE…

Texas Democrat Threatens To Kill Republican On Legislative Floor After He Called ICE On Protesting Illegal Immigrants.

*Goodbye? Already? What no Song, Clicky?*