Missive From ‘Merica: So Long and SoPi

My good friend Cade, the Okie Devil from Textus, sent through a new missive for us last night, Dear Reader. But first… some sad news: smoking internet pal, Nik Nak…

nik nak

… died yesterday. The news of his passing broke in the Blue universe today via Frank. More tender words and remembrances of our stalwart friend can be found via Leggy, Bucko and Grandad

*/lights up… hope Dear Reader goes and read the comments too, Clicky… /drags… He will be missed… /smokes… I expect Smoky Drinky’ll be heaving tonight…*

*******

Let's find some work!

Ripley: Hey, I feel like kind of a fifth wheel around here. Is there anything I can do?

Apone: I don’t know, is there anything you can do?

Movie = Aliens

^The Beatles – Paperback Writer^
So...where do I start?

Craigslist is infested with data/information leeches and scammers, newspapers are going to require me to subscribe and/or pay. I don’t trust Monster nor Dice since they’ve gone through so many acquisitions that I don’t even know who they are anymore, so…where do I start?

The Best Search Engines of 2018

Blech!

Let’s take a step backwards, start from the beginning, and find out what I can do.

I know how to operate a cash register and have worked at jobs handling cash.

I know logistics and have warehouse experience.

I know how to fuel airplanes.

I know customer support, have done help desk, desktop support and phone support.

I know technical writing.

I know software development and programming…

 but I haven't done it in forever.

I’m gonna stop there, because what I really need is an old copy of my resume, and I currently have no way of getting to it since it’s sitting on the hard drive of a computer that doesn’t work anymore. Hell, it may be gone forever if the hard drive doesn’t work.

Fuck this noise 😦
^depeche mode – work hard (1983)^

Let’s share what I’ve seen on Craigslist lately…

Resistance/Liberal Contributors Wanted For New Humor Site

No pay – “Exposure” only.

😦

We need readers

They don’t want me to respond via Craigslist? Seems shady, but $16-$32 a day to read books? I could likely read 2-4 books a day quite easily. But then I have to write a review and, since I’m being paid, that means that I’ll be gleaning the turds for peanuts in order to find something remotely palatable to write about. I mean, they are going to want positive reviews, kind words, shit that sells books: no one wants a paid reviewer shitting atop their shit pile. That would be an ex-cess-ively shitty mess.

PC Gamers: we’re looking for writers

This appears to be another non-paying gig, and I’m going to have to spend untold hours playing a game that might suck-ass. Then I’ve got to review it. But what if the game is good, but I’m terrible at it? Would that make for a good review?

“HEY! THIS GAME IS AWESOME! But I suck at it.”

Immediate openings for P/T writing positions – Top Pay ($30/hr!)

Suddenly…I feel like the character from the movie “What Women Want”. I’m wearing pantyhose lined with panty-liners and/or maxi-pads around the house, all day, just to make $30.

Video Captioning – Earn Up To $390/week – Work From Home (Work from Home)

“Staying fresh in the workplace.”

…she says. Since when is there even a line between the home and the workplace? Go to your bathroom, take a gander around, and you are likely to see more logos and advertisements than you would see on a 15 minute drive in an urban area, even if the radio is on.

Go to your kitchen. Take a gander at your appliances. Open the fridge. Open the pantry. Advertisements and advertising have LONG invaded the home via more than just television and radio. So I would argue that “staying fresh in the workplace” really isn’t that difficult. Not to mention that “keeping up” is just more advertising for more revenue streams. Certifications aren’t free, nor is the process of getting them.

Let's abandon this ship. 

It’s long since sailed.

^TOTAL IDIOTS AT WORK^
Let's go with recent experience to start...

Recent Experience: Thinking. Writing. More thinking. Blabbing nonsense on Twitter with a few friends.

And yep...more thinking.

That shit don’t pay, so let’s stop dilly-dallying, crank up MS Paint, and start making some attempts at…

SoPi-H

Q: Can magnetics be used to focus?

A: Ever heard of a compass?

Simple.

NO!

I mean within the mind.

Within the body.

Q: What tools do we have available to us in order to better navigate our daily challenges better?

A: Time. Can't do jack shit without the time to do it in.

But you gotta keep some things in mind.

Bird Migration

Birds seem to know where to go, how long to stay there, when to go somewhere else, and where to go. So let’s stretch that out a bit. Let’s stretch it out say…over the course of a spring/summer/fall.

Spring is coming. You are a bird that migrates up north as the weather warms. However, back at the place you just left – unbeknownst to you – some contractor just started a new project to build town homes over the next 6-8 months. When August/September rolls around, and you begin your journey all the way back to your wintering grounds, you’ve no idea that when you get there, your home is going to be gone.

Fucking squatters.
^Missy Elliott – Work It (Official Video)^

SO!!! How do we navigate our own minds within and without? Visualization sometimes helps. But most of the more modern tools are too linear, and most of the old “mysteries” kinds of things are too static or vague. I need something more fluid. Less rigid, but solid.

Solid like air. Solid like water.

Everything is contextual with fluids. Go fast enough? Air will burn you like a charcoal briquette, and water will break every bone in your body. And yet… a breeze at the right time is like a cuddle from the sweetest of lovers, and a splash of water at the right time can cool and refresh. I’m not trying to invent a steering wheel for the soul; there are PLENTY of fucks willing to tell you what to do with that thing.

Nope, this is more about how spirit and mind get us through the things we encounter. We like to think that almost everything is either positive or negative; good or bad; right or wrong; correct or incorrect; but it’s all those things. Hence, I think we spend most of our time in a state of indifference.

EX: Buy/Don’t buy. Sell/don’t sell. Walk/don’t walk. Run/don’t run.

We don’t like to think of ourselves as indifferent because it seems too wishy-washy. And yet…

decisions, decisions, decisions.

So yeah, indifference…we hang out there a lot methinks. Our secret lover.

^Work For Love – Ministry^
SoPi-H – Iteration 01
SoPi-H – Iteration 02
SoPi-H – Iteration 03
SoPi-H – Iteration 04
SoPi-H – Iteration 05a
SoPi-H – Iteration 05b
SoPi-H – Iteration 06a
SoPi-H – Iteration 06b

So yeah… SoPi-H. That’s it. That’s them. That’s…what it is…what they are…

whatever.
^Fifth Harmony – Work from Home ft. Ty Dolla $ign^

Drawing this shit from the hip, and not trying to be so goddamn perfect, sometimes aptly displays why I’m not always “all about shit lining up perfectly” or according to some rigid set(s) of specifics. As the perspective changes, so does the outlook on “what lines up…and what don’t”.

EX: SoPi-H_03 doesn’t look so bad. However, when you turn it 90° to make SoPi-H_04? Yeah…the wonkyness is MUCH more apparent.

The personification of indifference with respect to decision making.

The “defect” was always there, you just had to approach from the correct angle/perspective in order to see it. It looked great here, but not so much later. So if you’ve attached your anchor to a certain principle, what happens when you take a look at that principle from another angle?

Q: Are you locked in?

A: !!!

It’s like finding a defect in clothing after you already purchased it, removed all the tags, you wear it for the first time, and you or someone else notices something about the garment later. I mean the fucking thing looked just fine on the rack.

FUCK!!!

How in the HELL does something like this get past quality control at the place that manufactured it? Why would a retailer not check their own stock for defects prior to making it available for sell?

What I did there...do you see it?
^deadmau5 – Hyperlandia^

cYa | cFa
^The Beatles – A Day In The Life^

*******

Dear Reader… Have a Song… ❤

 

Sumfin’ Fishy: A Roob/Click Convo Fragment

*Has your boat come in, Clicky? …/rolls eyes… Funny, I can’t smell any fish… /sniffs...*

*/blank stare… Nope, you’ve lost me… /flicks lighter…*

*/lights up… Catch much fish in a dead pool, Clicky? …/deep drag…*

*Fuck! That a hell of a fish tail… /taps ash… Nekked, eh? Wouldn’t want that nosying around your wahoo… /puffs…*

HBD Dr One! From The Okie Devil & RBD2

Two things, Dear Reader…

*No, Clicky… /flicks lighter… two items to cover off in this post… /lights up…*

First up, the soon to be published Underdog Anthology V has finally got a title…

*Knot quite… /puffs… Similar, Clicky…*

Six in Five in Four

Leggy tells me there will be 20 stories in all, not including the Foreword and Afterword, which I guess makes…

1260827856769

*/drags… twenty-two… /squints… and knot Tutu, Clicky… /taps ash…*

I have two stories included: ‘Nine Lives‘ and a new ‘Harry‘ story called, ‘Jackanory Jackalope’…

jacka_gif_by_nymla-d8r8ffl

*/coughs … It’s a spring-time book, Clicky… /clears throat… There has to be a rabbit…*

… In witch, the Legend of the Jackalope is recounted by a…

My good friend, Cade, who has three fantabulous stories in UAV, imparted the legend to me. I hope I’ve been able to do it justice ❤

4ff1399596a83ae049d3575ee7ee5aba

*Okay… /drags… thanks for keeping me on track, Clicky… /blows smoke ring…*

The second thing, Dear Reader, is to say a big, fat ‘Happy Birthday’ to The Underdog

Dr One

… And to give him his pressie, made by Cade, from both of us. Leggy may recognise the lyrics 😉

*My besties are SO fucking clever and talented, Clicky… /stubs butt… I AM the luckiest woman in the whirled…*

*Yes, you too, Clicky… /pats snout…*

Five Alive? Defo!

*Ah cool image, Clicky… /pat snout… Actually my hair hasn’t looked like that once this week… /lights up…*

Dear Reader, I have been on holiday these last couple of days, and have finally managed to write my short story about a hedge riding hag

feather powered happiness

*I am pretty happy with the result, Clicky…/puffs…*

…and have submitted it to Leggy for inclusion in the upcoming ‘Underdog Anthology V‘. The story is called ‘Nine Lives’…

*I’ve still got time to mutilate a poem for the Afterword before I go back to work, Clicky… /drags… If I can find the right one… /billows smoke…*

I was also able to spend some time yesterday in the Blue universe. Frank Davis had been snooping around New York, after reading about the proposed bill to stop people from smoking whilst walking the streets of that fair city

*They’re fucking unbelievable! …/flicks ash… First you can’t smoke inside, and now the utopian dreamers are trying to dictate where and how you can smoke outside… /deep drag… Nasty Not-sees indeed… /sighs…*

He was looking at street signs there and came across one that had him perplexed…

‘Just a few yards away was another really weird sign. I think it was some sort of aphorism. But I couldn’t make out what it said, because it seemed to be written in bleeding, dripping letters that said something like Afraid And Dead. I guess that if you were crossing 2nd Avenue and you stopped to try to figure out what the scary sign meant, you’d find out when you got hit by a truck.’

It puzzled me, too; however, the photo Frank included was somewhat fuzzy, so I sent Clicky off for a closer inspection…

sign for blue frank

*Much better but it still looks like worshipers or sumfin’ to me, Clicky… /drags deeply… In sinister black… /snorts smoke…*

… and find an answer.

school for deaf street sign new york

*Those are hands!*

hans gruber

*/reads slowly… School For Deaf …/squints… Dept of Transport… /final drag… Oh! The yellow buses! It’s a bus stop sign, Clicky! … /streams smoke…*

applause sign

*Alright, don’t take the piss… /stubs butt… Well done you, though, on working it out… There’s a good assistant… /pats snout…*

It was a sign for deaf school children, Dear Reader…

…As my good friend, Cade, might say…

‘MYSTERY SOLVED! NEXT!’

music sign

*Okay then…/lights up… And as you’re such a clever Clicky, you can choose…*

Dear Reader… Have a Song 😀