Did He Say Lennon or Lenin’s On Sale Again?

*/lights up and smokes… Ah, it’s Lennon. Mind you, Lenin works just as well, Clicky, when you consider how much repacked communism is currently being shoved down our throats…*

Hello Dear Reader! 😀

If you saw Clicky’s post yesterday…

… You’ll know that the latest Underdog Anthology of short stories, number 17, has now been published…

… And if you avail yourself of Amazon’s ‘free preview’ button, you will see that my story contribution this time is called ‘731 Days Later…’

*Yes, Clicky, it’s a ‘Harry’ story… /flicks ash… set 731 days after the last one… more or less…*

… And whilst I will publish my new story here at the LoL, Dear Reader, I’ll not do that just yet.

Today I’m gonna give you the Afterword, the ‘dead poets page’, where I butcher and mutilate the words of a deceased poet to tell of some wacky occurrence happening in the world at the time of mangling. However, first you will need to re-familiarize yourself with an old song…

*I had so much fucking fun working on this one, Clicky…*

Afterword

by Roo B. Doo

Whilst in exile in Switzerland, shortly before the start of the Russian revolution, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin said:

“There are decades when nothing happens; and there are weeks when decades happen”.

We appear, Dear Reader, to be living through such weeks.

2019 now feels like it occurred at least ten years ago. Pestilence arrived in 2020, closely followed by Death, that has ramped up alarmingly despite the waning Covid pandemic. Then, at the start of this year, War became the main topic of conversation. The demented father of a crack addict installed in the US White House through a ‘fortified’ election keeps threatening to escalate Russia’s military incursion into the Ukraine into World War Three. Broken supply chains and skyrocketing inflation surely mean that Famine can’t be that far off now. Western governments and supranational organisations, such as the World Economic Forum, proclaim that shortly we will ‘have nothing and be happy’, whilst they intend to ‘Build Back Better’. Global corporate media calls anyone in disagreement with this vision a ‘bigot’, whilst waxing lyrical over how nutritious and tasty mealworm is.

All in all, it feels like we’re being gaslit and abused into accepting a dystopian future, one with a lot less of us in it. So it was quite amazing that for most of April and all of May this year, a legal trial was held in Fairfax, Virginia that appeared to be a perfect demonstration of ‘as above, so below’, or Mandlebrot set, if you’re so inclined, for anyone with an internet connection to see it. Every second was televised and millions upon millions of people tuned in to watch the legal teams for two Hollywood millionaire actors battle it out over tawdry allegations of gaslighting, domestic abuse and cancellation. It was glorious.

As I started this afterword with the words of Lenin, I shall finish it with the mutilated words of Lennon, John Lennon to be exact, a dead poet if there ever was one, as I regale you with the ballad of Johnny C Depp II versus Amber Laura Heard*…

The Trial of Johnny & Woko*

Standing in the court in Virginia
Accusations of attempts to defame
The man that played Jack said, “They gave me the sack
All I want is to win back my good name”

Judge, you know it ain’t easy
Giving testimony
But way things were going
Hollywood had crucified me

When Issac took the stand for his friend Johnny
Amber’s crazy cat lady lawyer, Elaine
Asked how he air kissed
Until Issac got pissed
And the watching world cried “Are you fuckin’ insane?!”

Judge, you know it ain’t easy
What if anything is Amica cream?
The way things are goin’
Twitter’s gonna to crucify me

When Johnny testified in his own defense
How Amber’s abuse of him never ceased
When the housekeeper said, “Your wife’s shat in your bed”
I said, “Divorce. I need to get me some peace”

Judge, you know it ain’t easy
When your ex is diagnosed Cluster B
The way things are goin’
Amber’s still trying to crucify me

“Objection!”, “Hearsay!”, “Leading!” the lawyers cried
“Sustained”, “Overruled” replied Judge Azcarate
The gallery sat, patiently enwrapped
Social media was out of control
“Link”

Then Amber got to tell her side of the story
Tales of beatings, drug binges and fear
Full of sound and fury, she mugged to the jury
But couldn’t even shed a fake tear

Judge, you know it ain’t easy
When your dog steps on a bee
The way things are goin’
Tik-Tok is going to crucify me

After six long weeks the trial finally ended
The jury went off to deliberate
When they came back, they said “Amber’s a hack
Have eight million, Johnny, go celebrate”

Judge, you know it ain’t easy
You know how hard it can be
Keep our identities secret
Don’t let the Press crucify me

The way things are goin’
You know they’ll wanna crucify me

*No, but it was worthy of Bowie, Clicky… /stubs butt… That woman really is the Face of Woke…*

As it happens, John Lennon and David Bowie, both deceased poets, did know each other and collaborated on some songs. Most notably one that could have been written for Amber Heard and gets to the heart of her particular addiction.

Dear Reader, have a Song 😉 

CLICK5: Horses For Courses…

Extended CLICK5… CLICKB8: Adventures In Remote Viewing – Food For Thought Worms

CLICK5: Underdog Anthology XVI: Slay Bells In The Snow – Coming Soon!

CLICK5: Aussie Madness

CLICK5: “Hail Fellow, Well Met”

CLICK5: Greek to me…

CLICK5: Mask-querade

Underdog Anthology XI: Tales From Loch Doon

Good news, Dear Reader! Underdog Anthology XI: Tales From Loch Doon will be published in time for Beltane…

*Me either, Clicky… /lights up… Leggy’s had… /drags… an ‘ell of a year so far… /plumes smoke… Still, we’re nearly there…*

… It features 14 stories from 9 authors and each is a little cracker…

*Nah, we missed the Easter deadline this year, Clicky, wot with one thing or another…*

… And to get us in the mood, the Afterword, with mutilated poem by a dead poet, is reproduced, below…

*******

Afterword

by Roo B. Doo

2019 was generally considered a whacked out, fucked up and completely bonkers year, Dear Reader. Then 2020 arrived with a polite request to ‘Hold my-‘

Corona beer

*Clicky! There’s no gifs in the book… /flicks ash…*

Today is Easter Monday and, as I write, the majority of the global population are locked in their homes, patiently waiting for curves to flatten and Coronavirus cures to be found, so that they get out and get on their normal lives. Currently there is no end in sight.

Hopefully we’ll still be around for ‘Underdog Anthology XII’, due out in October, but in the meantime, Leg Iron Books have generously slashed the price of its Kindle offerings to 99p/99c, so there is no need to be bored. COVID-19 is a novel virus, doncha know 😉

Leg Iron Books

Now for some more butchering…

Beloved children’s author A.A. Milne authored the Winnie-the-Pooh books. The Public school, which his father ran and where little Alan Alexander grew up, employed H.G. Wells as a teacher. Herbert George famously wrote the novel ‘War Of The Worlds’ in which a thriving population was wiped out by a microorganism. If you’re not at all familiar with that story, then apologies for the spoiler.

spoiler

*Cut it out, Clicky… /rolls eyes…*

Fortunately, A.A. Milne was also a poet and now joins the ranks of Shakespeare, Blake, Lazarus et al. on the slab of an Underdog Anthology Dead Poets page, with a mutilation of his children’s verse ‘Now We Are Six’. It lends itself rather well to the current times…

Now We Are Sick

When it was One,
It had just begun.
When it was Two,
It was Wuhan Flu.
When it was Three
People start to flee.
When it was Four,
Italy at death’s door.
When it was Five,
Boris is alive!
But now we are sick,
Locked down and Covid-clever,
So I think we’ll be sick now for ever and ever.

Keep well, Dear Reader, and if you can’t free your body, then free your mind.

*******

Have a Song, Dear Reader… ❤

 

Sat ‘Ere Day Musings: Politics! */rolls eyes…*

Vote Knowing

*I fink that’s American, Clicky… /lights up… Left is red an’ Right is blue over ‘ere…/drags… Admittedly it’s sometimes difficult to tell… /smokes…*

Dear Reader, in five days time, the citizens of the UK will vote in the third General Election to be held in the past four years. So far, the Tora! Tora! Tories! have managed to win them all…

*Re-election day… /sings… Probably…*

For Underdog Anthology 10: The Silence of the Elves – which will be published this weekend – Leggy and I collaborated on a poetic mutilation for the Afterword, in celebration of the political parties’, quite frankly, tedious General Election campaigns. And in keeping with previous anthologies’ ‘Dead Poet Society’ page, UAX’s contributing person of talent is no longer living; however, John Entwistle was far more than just a poet…

*For the political parties, Clicky, it’s all about the base… /winks…*

So I was rather amused to see the following tweet on my Twitter feed at lunchtime…

*I know! I know!…/chortles…*

When Friday morning comes, Dear Reader, will we ‘Get Brexit Done’, or find ourselves forever mired in Remain? Who can say?

Boris the Liar

Look who’s climbing up the polls

A posh tousle-haired blond troll

Politician words he makes

Brexit promises he fakes

 

Boris the liar

Boris the liar

 

Question time is here once more

Corbyn steps up to the floor

Brexit neutral but never Leave

What’s he hiding up his sleeve?

 

Corbyn is dire

Corbyn is dire

 

Creepy, Corbyn, creepy, Corbyn

Creepy, creepy, Corbyn, Corbyn

Creepy, creepy, Corbyn, Corbyn

Creepy, creepy, Corbyn, Corbyn

Creepy, creepy, Corbyn, Corbyn

 

Slab Butt, Mucus, Nicky the Fish

Swindles thinks she’s such a dish

Girlies desperate to Remain

Trapped in the EU’s domain

 

They should be fired

They should be fired

 

Creepy, crawlies, creepy, crawlies

Creepy, crawlies, creepy, crawlies

Creepy, crawlies, creepy, crawlies

Creepy, crawlies, creepy, crawlies

Creepy, crawlies, creepy, crawlies

 

They’ll all come to a stick end

Brexit drove them round the bend

But voters are the ones that lose

Still Bercow’s gone, so some good news

 

Parliament pyre

Parliament pyre

Have a Song 😉

*******

p8ovqy

*Breaking noose, Clicky? …/lights up… Droll…*

Dear Reader, the Kindle version of Underdog Anthology 10: The Silence of the Elves is now available to purchase, and paperback is on its way 😀