Fear has a long history, and the idea of control-by-fear has a history that’s only five minutes less than that. Keeping control of a pack of hominids by being the biggest and nastiest was a simple step and an easy one to cope with. Everyone knew who the biggest and nastiest one was and everyone knew to keep on his good side. Nothing devious or sneaky required by Big’n’Nasty, although underlings might engage in sneakiness to get their own way without being battered. Big’n’Nasty ruled by fear.

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Dear Reader, it appears Madam X Secretary approved the meme…

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*I saw that story yesterday, Clicky… Posted… /knot-eyes… of it with Red Frank… Very sad…*

*/squints… ‘K, Oz…. /scans… More tragedy… Hugo sent me that story on DM this morning, Clicky…*

*Yeah, another popular music star bites the dust in 20H+H… Again… /knot-eyes… on MEROVEE yesterday…*

*/:O… Yes, I opened the box… Clicky! /stern squint… They’re nearly 20 years old now… /wrestles with beastly assistant… Stop it! Don’t you dare…*

*/Turns purple… Cade’s right – you are a shithead, Clicky!*

*You wouldn’t! I told him that in confidence… /wrestles some more… I don’t care what kind of fucking freaky-work-based friendship you struck up with Leggy under Dume… Stop. It. Now…*

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*/explodes with cold rage… I’m going to fucking kill you!! …/lunges…*

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*/Grabs book… Now swim…*

*/Points finger… And don’t even fink about leaving a S…*

It’s my birthday today. I got cake for breakfast from Google …

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*I know! What a scrummy surprise …*

… and Thoughtful Man took me shopping …

*Hardly, Clicky … the local Asbo …*

He takes me shopping once a year, mostly to remind himself why he doesn’t go shopping with me more regularly …

*No, not quite …*

I rather like food shopping, looking at all the product laden shelves … studying the exciting ingredients … riding the trolley … I get rather google-eyed at it all …

“Calm down or I’ll Mary Lincoln you” Thoughtful Man sighed heavily, placing a steading hand on the handlebar as it wobbled closer to a 2 for 1 special on Pot Noodles.

“Ab Lincoln’s wife? I was taken aback and slightly flattered … the wife of a President.

“She went mental and was committed by her son after she fell in with a spiritualist” he replied as we skirted past a group of lads looking for the barbecue and beer aisle. “He invented double exposure photography, though he didn’t get the credit for it”.

I skidded to a stop … good job too, I hadn’t seen the mobility scooters conveniently parked at the entrance to the cat food aisle. “Do you mean like Photoshop?”

*Unfortunately Clicky, I don’t think that’s photoshopped …*

*No, not that one either …*

“I suppose … Do we really need this much cheese?” He eyed the trolley contents suspiciously, “toothpicks, pineapple chucks … tin foil … Hang on, I thought you didn’t want a birthday party”.

“I don’t. It’s in case the neighbour’s child comes over to play with the boys”. His icy squint burned. “Sorry, I invited him. He’s just lost his mother”.

“He ate her”.

“I don’t think he had a choice.” I pushed on toward the frozen pizzas. “I think it was like one of those Donner Party situations”.

He caught up by the time we’d reached the check out. “So you [blip] think he’d prefer eating cheese and pineapple [blip] kebabs instead?!” He fluffed open a plastic bag and started filling it. “You are a [blip] mad [blip]“.

*Please Clicky don’t do it. I’m so embarrassed …*