Extended CLICK5… CLICKB8: Zeds & Sevens…

CLICK5: And The Oscar Goes To…

CLICK5: Tips Hattie…

CLICK5: Milkin’ It

Across The Pond: H2O Scars

It’s the Oscars next weekend, Dear Reader, and following last year’s debacle with Bonnie and Clyde’s presentation of Best Picture…

*Yikes! /lights up…*

…I thought we’d have a look at this year’s Best Picture nominations… a Bonner and Cade presentation…

*Ooh is that Armie Hammer, Clicky? …/drags… I like him… /mischievous grin…*

… So I DMed the Okie Devil with the start of this post…

Roob and Cade Presents Best Picture Oscar 1Roob and Cade Presents Best Picture Oscar 2

‘Shenanigans (n.)

1855, of uncertain origin. Earliest records of it are in San Francisco and Sacramento, California, U.S. Suggestions include Spanish chanada, a shortened form of charranada “trick, deceit;” or, less likely, German Schenigelei, peddler’s argot for “work, craft,” or the related German slang verb schinäglen. Another guess centers on Irish sionnach “fox.”

… And ‘Fox’ segues nicely with the origins of this image…

2018 best picture nominations

… The list of this year’s Best Picture nominations, and their likelihood of winning the prize, as calculated by superstar statistician Nate Silver’s FiveThirtyEight

‘The website’s logo depicts a fox, in reference to a phrase attributed to Archilochus: “The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.”

X: Woah woah woah…what’s all this now?

Cade: Roob is writing a post.

T: And?

Cade: O hi.

T: Hello.

0: Why now?

Cade: I dunno. It popped in my head earlier, there was that thing with the sink, and now…here we are.

Z: One…big…whatever this is.

Cade: I agree.

B: You mean…you concour?

Cade: Rut roh.

B: Long time no see.

Cade: And howdy to you too.

X: Let’s get back to this “Oscar’s” business. Isn’t it actually called something else?

Cade: The Academy Awards.

X: What’s this “Oscar’s” business?

Cade: I dunno. Are you talking Schindler? Or…someone else?

Z: Don’t be coy.

Cade: I’m not.

0: Get to the point…Cade.

Cade: OK, well…water seems to feature heavily within the theme(s) of this year’s Best Picture category.

X: Did you even bother to look at the Animated and/or Documentary sections?

Cade: No I did not. I glanced at the Animated, but didn’t know any of them.

Z: Your kids done all growed up…is that it?

Cade: Kinda. But I don’t know any of these films really, so the best I do is…

B: Adapt?

X: Improvise?

T: Abandon ship?

Z: Run?

0: Compromise?

Cade: Prolly.

X: We’ve not done this in a while. Are you feeling a shade…lost?

Cade: Very much so.

X: Perhaps we should keep this short then.

Cade: Likely a very good idea.

C: I’ve a question before we go. What is that mess that’s been bumping around in that thing you call a head?

Cade: Just trying to focus a bit in a different direction.

A: Commercial venture(s)?

Cade: Not really, but kinda. I can’t sell anything I don’t have to sell.

Z: By my approximation, you’ve nothing to sail.

Cade: Gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you there sparky.

Z: We’ll see.

Cade: Or not.

X: Since when is not seeing, not also…seeing?

Cade: I guess since whenever it is. We tend to equate substance with definition. Something qualify-able. Something quantifiable.

0: What’s “non-quantify-able” about darkness?

Cade: I dunno. Sounds pretty fucking well formed to me.

X: But you cannot see it.

Cade: Sure I can. Just…can’t usually see anything else.

X: I like that.

Cade: 🙂

X: …

*/drags… Ah Clicky, how could I possibly forget you, oh dolphin assistant o’ mine? …/rolls eyes… A Roob-co-Clicky-co-Cade production… /blows smoke… Better? …/pats snout…*

… Cade makes an astute observation, there is a watery theme. From the setting of ‘Dunkirk’…

… To ‘The Shape of Water’…

… ‘Ladybird‘ and…

*Cool find, Clicky! …/flicks ash…*

… Knot to mention ‘Ebbing‘. And even last year’s winner, ‘Moonlight’ is an influence. Kinda…

Roob and Cade Presents Best Picture Oscar 3Roob and Cade Presents Best Picture Oscar 4

*/:O… Yikes!*

*/shakes head… Tacky, Clicky… /final drag… Very tacky…*

*Oh sorry, I misconstrued…the moon affects tides whether it’s the brightest or Darkest Hour… /stubs butt… Come on… /stretches… It’s getting late, Clicky. Let’s finish up and Get Out of hear…*

Sew… That’s the Bonner and Cade Best Picture presentation for 2018 for the LoL. As for who’ll actually win the Oscar? Like the statistician boffins at FiveThirtyEight…

‘We have no clue.’

Dear Reader… Have a Song 😉

*/squints… Mary J Bilge, Clicky? Come on. Bed… /pats snout…*


Updated: Cade, the Okie Devil of Text US has written an accompanying post 😀

*Mmm… Yummy! …/drools…*


Missive From ‘Merica: Sum Weight ‘Ugo

Maybe it’s all just a big joke? Butt the silver screen is beginning to wear a bit thin, isn’t it?

That was the last line of a new post put up by Hugo at The Probe yesterday. A few days before that, TNT put up a post at The Lab, that had some focus on ‘Cooper’. And in between, Red Frank’s MEROVEE post featured…

So last night, there was an almighty fuck up at the Oscars, w(h)ere the wrong picture was announced winner of the Best Film statuette. ‘La La Land’ were given it, but it was meant for ‘Moonlight’…


Also last night, The Underdog posted about his battle with an intractable pelmet…



*Her palms don’t look fucking small to me, Clicky…*

Cade also sent me a missive last night, which the LoL presents for you, below. Can fewer words have more weight? You decide, Dear Reader… Catch you at the bottom…


Grabity has gone somewherz elses that is not here.

Q: I wonder where here will go now that grabity si gone?

A: ?¿?

Prolly somewherez elses. But that’s just a guess.

An uneducated guess…of course.


I guess that I’m wondering about temperature and temperatures. I’ve long held that friction is what makes The Universe go. Yes…in more ways than one. But cha gotta give a little to get a little. Or…you can give a little…then just…chill.

OH! And sorry to start off so rapidly and verbosely today.

I had an idea about temperature(s) with respect to matter(s) and energy/energies, and I don’t wanna forget it like I tend to forget about most shit that I think about. At least until I remember them. And some people are hung up on “pertinence”…so…let’s see if “temperature” is pertinent.

^Hybrid – Dogstar^

So…good day to you citizen(s).

How is the weather where you be is at?

What is the temperature where you is be at?


I think I spelled almost all of most of some of that correctly.


< 98.6°F <
> 98.6°F >
< 98.6°F >
> 98.6°F <
^Hybrid – Disappear Here (Official Video)^


A: I YAM. (not)

I mean…I wish I was hot. But I am not. So let’s continue to think in the vein and veins and realm and realms of temperature and temperatures. But in order to do so, we must be complete-ish in our thoughts and thinking. So…let’s just cut right to the chase and think…”birth to death.”

So yeah…engineering and design.

We’ll develop the idea(s) from there.

^Imagine Dragons – Radioactive^

So irrespective of whether you’ve read any of my previous bullshit, I’ll go ahead and repeat myself here about some thoughts that I have had with respect to things like brake pads, and the materials that they are made from. Afterall, these things are built to fail. That’s how they work. They are designed to wear out and wear off. Remove “the old ones” when they are no longer effective, and slap some new ones on…good as new. However, the primary question that I have posed is…

Q: Where does that shit that wears off…go?

A: ¿?¿

Yep. That may be a good plan for a while, but how long is that while when we are traversing uncharted territories?

And more than that, what about when those uncharted territories become charted? Common…even.



Are we keeping track of unacceptable when sailing the seas of the acceptable?

Afterall, these devices are made of and from materials whose primary purpose is to regulate and/or control and/or divert or reduce heat. Asbestos, carbon-fiber, ceramic(s)…all kinds of crazy whacked out shit, that some are trying to make more and more versatile and/or efficient.

So…when going from “particulate” to “particulate” over time, how well are we tracking this shit?

ARE we even tracking it?

Are we able to track it?

I bet someone is gonna have to at some point.

That's just a guess tho.
^The Thrillseekers – Synaesthesia [original] [1999] [epic trance]^

So I guess I need to bring up anti-freeze, windshield washer fluid, aircraft de-icing fluid(s) and shit like that since we are talking about temperature(s) and shit like that. Because some temperatures are hot, and some are cold. But first, let’s think about body temperature and the regulating of body temperatures with respect to….Asbestos. So…think “Mesothelioma”…since it’s a type of lung cancer that is caused by asbestos.

Q: Can lung tissue(s) properly regulate temperature when and where Asbestos or any other temperature resistant and/or temperature regulating particulate matter/material(s) exist?

A: !!!

Yeah…I’ll simplify that.

Q: Can your body properly regulate temperature when you have temperature regulating shit that isn’t supposed to be there…exists?

A: Yeah…at the cellular level, up and down. Meaning both size AND temperature.

I dunno. Seems to me maybe that…if a microscopic sliver of Asbestos exists in your lung or any other tissues, the cells might just have difficulty figuring out how to accurately perform cell division and or normal cell function.

Q: Ready to talk about Strontium now? Spall…even?


That’s what I thought.

Me either.

Let’s do it anyway.

^Moby – Bodyrock (Hybrid’s Bodyshock Remix)^

So in order to think about what I am thinking about with respect to Strontium and Spall in and around nuclear detonation(s) and/or nuclear reactions of the…erm…”acute variety”…since Strontium in these cases tends to head straight to the bone and stop…think about crystals and crystalline structures, salts, fats/oils…and…friction. Specifically…friction welding. Keep X-Rays and Gamma Rays on the brain while watching the following on friction welding…if you so choose to watch it.

^Ultimate car brake test video (Explosion!)^

Oh…I’m sorry. That was those crazy Finnish idiots over at Beyond The Press finding shit to tear up during the long boring winter.

“Nevermind the mosquitoes…”

Anyway…erm…here’s a video on friction welding if you are interested.

Oh, and I love the comment on the preceding video after the brake rotor/disk flies apart…

@06:46 into the video….”THIS WENT REALLY WELL!”

^Hypnotic Video Inside ¦¦ Welding movement ¦¦ Friction welding^
  • So why would Strontium “weld” itself to bone upon entering the human body?
  • Welp, ain’t there Calcium and Phosphorus and Nitrogen and Oxygen and shit like that in them there bones?
  • Ain’t there like Iron and shit like that in the blood/body? I mean, the body is under a lot of pressure and pressures right?
  • What about when a combination of Gamma and X-Rays blast through the body preceding the arrival of said Strontium?
  • Don’t we need to also think about Microwaves and radar and conductive materials and convection and temperature regulation(s) on all kinds of scales?
  • Especially depending on the origin and origins of “the nuclear fuel(s)” being used?
  • Especially when thinking about things like Cobalt and Steel?

I dunno. I’m a dumbass. Just…brainstorming.

^Arctic Monkeys – Do I Wanna Know? (Official Video)^

Thinking about spins and spalls, I just wonder how many times a particle may change direction, directions and spin(s) when in a “detectable” motion, and what about after that particle and or particles are no longer detectable by “detector A” and/or “detection method A”? Because now we are talking about “radiation”…which means a different type of spin and spins, that…within the human body…has just gotten even MORE dynamic due to the spins and flows and motion(s) within the human body and its materials/membranes. So thinking about THAT

Q: How well does the body regulate its temperature with radioactive materials inside of it?

A: “Hotspots?” … “Coldspots?” … “Isolated Spots…where the temperature can no longer be regulated properly?”



So…let’s talk about Teflon in the bloodstream.


Actually, I’m not gonna talk about Teflon. If you wanna look it up yourself…feel free. Look up lead cookware while you are at it. It appears that some of our ancestors used that shit to no ill effect. I mean yeah…they’re all dead…but we don’t know what killed them all. We can’t assume the lead cookware killed all of them.

^M83 – “Wait” (Official Video)^

I dunno. Maybe there are people everywhere that are already aware of and/or thinking about shit like this. But I do know this. I shouldn’t have to wait until I or someone else gets sick to find out that someone else was already aware of this shit. I mean…how much do you really need to know about weapons and weaponizing to know that it ain’t no fucking good.

I gots no answers. Only a few things that get me by when thinking about shit like this.

Time and times.

A purpose to every one.

^Capital Cities – Safe And Sound (Official Video)^

Olefin Fiber
Synthetic Fiber
EPDM Rubber
Thermal Conduction
Thermal Radiation
Kinetic Theory of Gases
Monatomic Gas
Bohr Radius
Polytetrafluoroethylene (Redirected from Teflon)
Thermoplastic Elastomer
Creep (Deformation)
Yield (Engineering) (Redirected from Yield strength)
Melting Point
Group C Nerve Fiber
Postganglionic Nerve Fibers

<nothing to see here...carry on>
^Glorious (Hybrid Mix)^

I guess I just never really see the body as something that is ever not in motion.

Rest? Sure.

Work? Sure.

But we are here…and we seem to be alive…and until that changes, I don’t see a need to panic or freak the fuck out.

Am I pissed? Sure.

I’m I hurting. Yep.

Do I care? I think so.

But some decisions, I don’t get to make do I?

Learning is always scary…always.

Because you cannot unlearn something that you have learned.

Yep. You can change it.

Augment it.

Rearrange it.

But that “something” that you originally learned will always be there.

Feel free to add all sorts of analogies there as to fading and dusty and whatever floats your boat. Knowledge sure scares the shit out of me. Especially that shit that I”m not sure what to do with. Most of the time, I keep it to myself and marvel at it from as pure of a “discovery” type of light as I can. But…there is always a pulse to that whatever it is. A reason as to why I needed to know that whatever. Even if that reason is simply…inspiration.

Q: I wonder how much “information” and/or “knowledge” weighs?

A: It weighs on me pretty heavily.

But…that’s just me.

/me shrugs

^The Glitch Mob – Fortune Days^

Bitwise Operation
Heat Fusion
Fusion Welding
The influence of sidewall cooling on boundary layer pressure fluctuations for a two-dimensional supersonic nozzle
Load Rejection
Bone Marrow
S. S. Minnow
Newton N. Minow
Fissile Material
Vitamin B12
Methylmalonyl-CoA Mutase

<nothing goes here...cept this>
^will.i.am – Scream & Shout ft. Britney Spears^

Travel Well.
Be Safe.

^The Smiths LIVE May 18, 1985 Nowhere Fast^




^Avicii – Wake Me Up (Official Video)^


*/rolls eyes…*

We hope you enjoyed that, Dear Reader. Thoughtful Man has a favourite new tune, so until next time… Have a Song ❤

The Junkie, the Nanny and Doctor Hoo,’K?

I started posting knot-eyes of a sync over at MEROVEE yesterday. Frank in the Red Universe is having A Quantum Leap of Faith

Merovee bones

CLICK: Dry Bones.

*Yes, Clicky, I stopped it there because you were about to add a Song…*

*/squint… ‘Then somebody hangs up when you answer the phone’. That’s a very personal sync, as you are well aware. Hey, hey, where you going? Clicky?!*

Popping out for a bit

CLICKY: We’re out of milk.

*OK bye, then! I’ll just put this all together myself, SHALL I?! /rolls eyes… I hope I haven’t lost my train of thought… /cracks knuckles…*


A Void posted the other day about mounting Superstitions and a dead Head in ariZOna:

A Void Arizona

Oh hello! Do I see mention of Brandon Lee?  That would be Professor Crowe that Click spotted… “We’re out of milk”. My arse!

And Vann? That syncs with my other Doctor, Shiny Sheldon… NAVigator.

Mail headlines

We’ve been to Arizona, Thoughtful Man and I. Back before boys were ever on the scene. We based ourselves in Phoenix at a hotel called The Buttes. Americans love a British accent unless you tell them that you staying in their butts. Then they look on you with disgust. We found that out upon arrival, passing through Immigration.


Enter Legs with news of a really disgusting death.

Yesterday brought news of another dead head. A baby one, a seed. This time in mOZcow:

Moscow Baby Head

Oktyabrskoye Pole metro station received its name from Khodynka Field, a nearby locality which was known as October Field during Soviet Rule. Khodynka takes it’s name from a river and was the site of the first Russian powered flight. It became a regular airfield, in use through the late 1980s. The Russian National Air & Space Museum is at Khodynka.

Mail headlines 2

Most recently on MEROVEE, we’ve been syncing underground

Merovee Everyone can go to hell

… and trains.

Merovee you're waiting for a train

Nanny taken down at the entrance to the underground.

Oh NO, Nanny‘s Named PersON

State Property

Mail headlines 3

Ah Scotland, policy test bed for so many London-based governments, the geographical head of the United Kingdom. The Romans tried to decapitated it…

Hadrian's Wall

…the SNP nearly pulled it off in 2014. No doubt they’ll try again but in the meantime they are developing their own policies for export.

The BASE jumper died by Sy Phon Draw…

word-forming element meaning “together with, jointly; alike; at the same time,” also sometimes completive or intensive, from Greek syn (prep.) “with, together with, along with, in the company of,” from PIE *ksun-“with” (cognates: Russian so-“with, together,” from Old Russian su(n)-). Assimilated to -l-, reduced to sy- before -s- and -z-, and altered to sym- before -b-, -m- and -p-. Since 1970s also with a sense of “synthetic.”

word-forming element meaning “voice, sound,” also “speaker of,” from Greek phone“voice, sound,” from PIE root *bha- (2) “to speak, say, tell” (cognates: Latin for, fari“to speak,”fama“talk, report;” see fame (n.)).

Now where was I before Clicky threw a spanner into my works? /taps teeth…

fame (n.) early 13c., “character attributed to someone;” late 13c., “celebrity, renown,” from Old French fame“fame, reputation, renown, rumor” (12c.), from Latinfama“talk, rumor, report; reputation, public opinion; renown, good reputation,” but also “ill-fame, scandal, reproach,” from PIE root *bha- (2) “to speak, tell, say” (cognates: Sanskrit bhanati“speaks;” Latin fari“to say,”fabula“narrative, account, tale, story;” Armenian ban, bay“word, term;” Old Church Slavonic bajati“to talk, tell;” Old English boian“to boast,”ben“prayer, request;” Greek pheme“speech, voice, utterance, a speaking, talk,”phone “voice, sound,”phanai “to speak;” Old Irish bann “law”).

The goddess Fama was the personification of rumor in Roman mythology. The Latin derivative fabulare was the colloquial word for “speak, talk” since the time of Plautus, whence Spanish hablar.

I’ve always been afraid I was going to tap the world on the shoulder for 20 years, and when it finally turned around I was going to forget what I had to say. [Tom Waits, “Playboy” magazine interview, March, 1988]

There was plenty of rumour and speculation leading up this weekend’s Famefestathon, the OZcars… Not only who would win awards but what the host, Chris Rock, was going to say?

A different kind of racism

CLICKY: Back… I had to go to the Blue Universe


*You took your time, Click. I’m just getting on to our OZcar win*


inside out

posted knot-eyes at ‘Quantum Leap of Faith’ in the Red Universe.

Roobee mentions oscar win

*Great movie, Clicky, we should watch it again. Let me make myself a coffee first… /returns with look of disgust… I thought you went off to get some milk…*


Room x37 – Spotting Syncs 101: A Pointless Exercise Part 5 – Jackpot!

We come, now, to the final part of this Pointless Exercise.  For any latecomers, izknot tu L-8 u nose. Start hear… 😉

Before I get going, a quick shout-out to my chain-smokin’ hot friend Hugo at the Probe for putting his finger on the pulse knot-once butt twice.

‘Cos the play’s the thing lettuce begin…

1. Pointless Final


AA: Well done, Jamie and Alex. What about that?! You’ve seen off ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here’. You’ve seen off ‘The Apprentice’ in the Head to Head. Er, and you saw off ‘Big Brother’. I mean fantastic and you’ve won our coveted Pointless trophy.

2. Pointless trophy
Clicky for Pointlessly Pointed

JAMIE: We feel honoured.

AA: Wa-well.

ALEX: Ecstatic.

AA: As… so you should. You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities, which is very exciting. At the end of today’s show the jackpot stands at two thousand five hundred. Interestingly untroubled…

Prize total
Clicky for a look

AA: Well you’ve done very well indeed. What would like to finish this show off with? What, what is your dream topic?

JAMIE: I feel like I would like something… movies would be alright. Movies, I usually do alright… movies.

ALEX: I could go for history, something like that.

JAMIE: No! Why history?

ALEX: I did it…

JAMIE: It’s so big! It’s such a big topic… shorten it. ‘Made in Chelsea’ would be great actually… let’s go ‘Made in Chelsea’.

OZ: I’m sorry, too many pointless answers I’m afraid.

3. Oz joke reaction
Clicky for quick draw

JAMIE: Oh we can edit that out…

AA: Ha ha ha ha… yeah.

4. Yeah
Clicky for look

AA: Er, you get to choose your category for this final round from the 4 we put up on the board behind me. Let’s see what today’s selection looks like… We’ve got ‘Rappers’. We’ve got ‘The Year 2008’. We’ve got ‘Horror Film Directors’ and we’ve got ‘The X Factors’.

RxB: Ooh, I hope they don’t pick the X Factor, I would not have clue.

SEB: I’ll take a wild stab and say they’re not going to be going for rappers. 2008 maybe, that or the X Factor.

RxB: Not horror film directors? They’re both jolly ‘frightfully alright’…

SEB: Fucking Chelsea!

RxB: Spoken like true Fulham fan.

JAMIE: The year 2008… everything else seems so b… Can you do  any X Factor winners?

ALEX: Yes but let’s go 2008.

JAMIE: We’ll go ‘The Year 2008’ please.

5. The year 2008
Clicky for the year 2008

RxB: Yay!

AA: There we are. Richard?

OZ: Good luck gents, 3 very different categories so take your answers from any of these, however you want to do it. We are looking for anybody who was nominated for a Best Actor or Best Actress Oscar in 2008. Or Best Supporting Actress, Best Supporting Actor…

SEB: What was out in 2008? The King’s Speech?

RxB: No, that was later… Erm, I don’t know, I can’t remember.

OZ: We’re looking for any act that had one of the 50 best selling albums in 2008…

RxB: Bollocks! No idea.

OZ: Or we’re looking for any country which won a gold at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, apart from GB.

RxB: Right, um… North Korea… Er, one of the ones that used to be Russia…

SEB: Ukraine?

RxB: Probably… should go for a South American country… Argentina. Didn’t they win the football?

SEB: Dunno.

OZ: So, any actor or actress Oscar nominees. Any acts who had one of the 50 best selling albums. Or any gold medal winning countries at the 2008 Olympics. Very best of luck guys. I hope they’re, er, good categories in there for you.

6. Very best of luck
Click for deja vu with 2008

AA: Thank you very much indeed. Okay, now as always you have up to 1 minute to come up with 3 answers and all you need to win that jackpot for your charities is for just 1 of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?


ALEX: Not at all, this is hard.

JAMIE: This is really hard!

AA: Okay. Let’s put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are. Your time starts… now.

ALEX: Okay. So what’s a good gold winning..?

JAMIE: ‘K ‘k, you think of that, think of that one. I’ll think… Okay so, so, okay Oscars… What was that like in 2008? Was it, er was it Schinder’s List, something like that?

ALEX: No, that’s a lot older than that.

RxB: Oh for fuck’s sake! Schinder’s List? That was last century!

SEB: I’m gonna let the dog out – they’re getting on my nerves.

RxB: Okay.

JAMIE: I don’t think it is much older than that…

ALEX: Yeah. Yeah.

JAMIE: … 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15… 7 years ago. That’s like Schinder’s List…

7.Schindler's List
Clicky for knot Nilson

ALEX: 2008… Is that when they brought out the first Batman?

JAMIE: Batman? That didn’t win an Oscar!

RxB: Yeah it did. Heath Ledger… no, that would have been at the Oscars in 2009…

JAMIE: The, um… so who actually had best selling albums in 2008… who was big in 2008? Seven years ago, who were we listening to? Um…

ALEX: Ad, Adele, I think might of have had a…

JAMIE: Adele!

ALEX: Er, Amy Winehouse?

JAMIE: The computer Adele. Erm…

ALEX: That’s a Dell. Um, so I reckon Amy Winehouse or, or…

JAMIE: Okay, Amy Winehouse. Medals would be, what, really random countries.

ALEX: Like shooting. Who’s really good at shooting? Like…

RxB: South Korea, Thailand..?

AA: 10 seconds left.

JAMIE: Finland. Amy Winehouse, Finland and… let’s go for, um, an actor would be okay… stop the…

ALEX: Daniel Day-Lewis for the actor. I don’t know why.

AA: Okay, that is your time up. I now need your 3 answers. What are you going to give?

RxB: North Korea, Ukraine and Argentina. (shouts) I’M GOING ARGENTINA, NORTH KOREA… ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?


RxB: And Ukraine.

JAMIE: Okay, for one of them, because he’s won loads…

ALEX: Daniel Day-Lewis.

AA: Daniel Day-Lewis as the actor… an actor.

JAMIE: Yes. Acts will be a best selling… No, then we’re going gold medal, we’ll just pick two, gold medal… come on.

ALEX: Switzerland.

JAMIE: Okay, Switzerland.

AA: Switzerland.

RxB: Nah. Roger Fedora…

JAMIE: And we’ll go for someone like, er, care, er, Kenya?

RxB: No chance! Too well known for long distance running.

AA: Kenya. Okay. Switzerland and Kenya as our gold medal winners. Of those 3 which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

ALEX: I think Kenya.

AA: Okay, Kenya. Shall we put Kenya last?

JAMIE: Yeah, let’s put Kenya last.

AA: Least likely to be pointless?

JAMIE: Daniel Day…

ALEX: Lewis.

AA: Daniel Day-Lewis, we’ll put him first. Let’s pop those up on the board in that order then. And here they are. We’ve got  Daniel Day-Lewis, Switzerland, Kenya. Well, 3 good answers, I’d say, on the board there.

JAMIE: You think?

AA: I think so. The question is will any of them be pointless.

RxB: Okay? Did she have a wee?

SEB: Yeah. Well they aren’t going to be pointless.

RxB: Yeah, well we’ve gone for Argentina, North Korea and Ukraine.

AA: If any of them is pointless, you will win that jackpot for your charities. Wa, wa, what charities are you playing for. Jamie?

JAMIE: My charity is ‘Rays of Sunshine‘, which is, er, a charity that brings bright light into really poorly kids, aged from 3 to 18.

ALEX: Er, mine is Cancer Research UK.

RxB: Nooo! Fucking sock-puppet… 

SEB: Pays their CEO a fortune.

AA: Very good. Fingers crossed. As I say, 3 good answers there. Let’s hope 1 of them is pointless and you can take that jackpot home for those charities. Well your first answer is Daniel Day-Lewis and, in this case, we were looking for 2008 Oscar nominees. Remember, it has to be pointless for you to win. Let’s find out how many of our 100 people said ‘Daniel Day-Lewis’.

Daniel Day Lewis 1
Click for view from one’s door

AA: One!

ALEX: I don’t believe it!

JAMIE: Nooo!

RxB: That was close!

AA: One person got Daniel Day-Lewis.

ALEX: I want to find that person.

JAMIE: Who was it?

ALEX: Was it Daniel Day-Lewis?

JAMIE: It was Daniel Day-Lewis himself.

AA: Ah, bad luck. Not a pointless answer which means you only have 2 more shots at today’s jackpot.

JAMIE: That is so unfair!

AA: Your next answer was Switzerland and in this case, we were looking for medal winners at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Again, it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot of two thousand, five hundred pounds. How many people said Switzerland? Is it pointless? It’s right.

JAMIE: It’s right again?! Unbelievable!

AA: Daniel Day-Lewis took us all the way down to 1. This is Switzerland now taking us down…

JAMIE: Come on!

AA: …through the twenties…

JAMIE: Come on!

AA: …and the teens, will it be..?


AA: …It’s still going down, going down…


AA: It’s one!

JAMIE & ALEX: Ooh!!!

ALEX: I don’t believe it!

Switzerland 1
Click for view of one’s front door

RxB: Switzerland only got one? Ours are looking good then.

JAMIE: Oh no, Daniel Day-Lewis again! Is he in Switzerland?

AA: Incredibly close so far. Everything is now riding on your third and final answer, which is Kenya.

JAMIE: This isn’t fair. Can we do it again? Who would have said Switzerland?!

OZ: Well you did.

JAMIE: I know but that was so random and pointless…

AA: Kenya is your third and final answer. This has to be pointless. Come on, to win the jackpot of two thousand five hundred, how many people said Kenya? Is it pointless? It’s right!

JAMIE: Come on!

SEB: It won’t be pointless. 

RxB: Yeah, I know. Known for it, they are, known for it…

AA: Well, Daniel Day-Lewis was right, that took us down to 1. Switzerland was right. That took us all the way down to 1, as well. Kenya has to be pointless…

SEB: Winning gold for long distance running?

RxB: Yeah…

JAMIE & ALEX: Come on! Oh!

AA: Bad luck!

Kenya 4
Clicky for a breaking sync…

SEB: Told you it wouldn’t be pointless.

ALEX: I can’t believe it.

AA: Listen. Okay, you didn’t win the jackpot but 3 excellent answers there considering how you felt when you started that minute. You managed to get 3 brilliant answers that took us right down to the bottom of the column. Er, I’m so sorry. That means you don’t win today’s jackpot of two thousand five hundred pounds. I’m sorry, however, as it is a celebrity special and everyone is playing for a charity, we’ll donate five hundred pounds to each celebrity pair for their respective charities. So you get that and you’ve been brilliant right the way across the show. You can hold your heads up high and you get a Pointless trophy each to take away as well. So there you are… it’s all good.

JAMIE: I don’t believe that.

OZ: Um, the gold medal winning countries was the place to get the pointless answers from because 53 countries won, er, won a gold medals at those Olympics and 30 of them are pointless. And one of the countries that was pointless was Finland.

RxB: Lordi! Not Finland again..?

ALEX: We said that!

SEB: What did we say again?

JAMIE: Oh we said Finland…

ALEX: Why didn’t we do it?

RxB: I told you – Argentina, North Korea and Ukraine. You chose Ukraine.

SEB: Well, that’s definitely going to be pointless.

RxB: We’ll see. That’s a pretty low score for Kenya, 4.

OZ: And I was just waiting for you to read it out and you didn’t do it.


OZ: Let’s take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories. There will be ones you know in all of these, I’m afraid. Um, we’ll start with, er, actors and actresses. Julie Christie, Marion Cotillard, Tom Wilkinson, Tommy Lee Jones. You could have had Philip Seymour-Hoffman. You could have had Hal Holbrook, Amy Ryan. You could have had Ellen Page… lots of pointless answers there.

SEB: Did we say any of those?

RxB: No.

OZ: Let’s move on to the best selling albums. Elbow would have been a pointless answer, also Guns n’ Roses. You could have had Leona Lewis… N-Dubz, unbelievably was a pointless answer. Celine Dion, Chris Brown, Enrique Iglesias, Il Divo, Mark Ronson, Will Young. All of those were pointless. Well done if you said any of those.

RxB: Nope. Gold winning countries, come on…

OZ: And the gold medal winning countries… as I said, there’s 30 odd countries here…

8. Argentina
Clicky for 137

RxB: Woo Hoo! Pointless answer! Argentina!

SEB: Did you say that?

RxB: Yes!

SEB: Yeah… (strokes chin)

OZ: Argentina is pointless. Mongolia, New Zealand, Poland. You could have had Azerbaijan, Czech Republic, Denmark, North Korea…

RxB: Double pointless!

OZ: …Norway, Thailand, Tunisa, Turkey, Ukraine…

RxB: Fucking hell! Triple pointless!

SEB: They’d never let you on this show – your language is disgusting. Well done, babes.

OZ: …Uzbekistan and our good friends in the Netherlands, all of those were pointless answers. Gents, it’s been an absolutely pleasure having you on the show and I’m so sorry. 1, 1 and 4 is terrific work in that final round.

RxB: Triple pointless… I shall bask awhile and then do the ironing.

SEB: Yeah, get on with it, bitch.

RxB: Oi! Triple pointless bitch, thank you.

AA: Thanks very much. Well unfortunately we have to say goodbye, Jamie and Alex, but just to add to what Richard said, it’s been brilliant having you on the show. A great performance and, er, thank you so much for playing. Jamie and Alex! Brilliant! Join us next time when we’ll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless. Meanwhile its goodbye from Richard.

OZ: Goodbye.

AA: And it’s goodbye from me. Goodbye.

9.Alex and Alex Shake Hands
Clicky for a Song


Any questions, please put them in comments. I have got a stinking cold and am going to bed but either I or Clicky will be about to reply to any tomorrow.