Previously on ‘A Pointless Exercise’…

*Very funny, Clicky… Knot! Can we get on with it? I’ve only got until tomorrow evening before the episode disappears from iplayer.*

*Droll …rolls eyes*

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AA: Okay, here’s comes your third question. Now Jamie and Alex, you get to answer it first but Solomon and Ruth, once again you have to win it to stay in the game. So, best of luck. It concerns…

OZ: We’re gonna show you the names of 5 zoo animals now but, er… I wish we hadn’t done this now… we’ve put them in anagram form.  Can you unscramble them and give us the most obscure answer please…

OZ: …and when I say ‘please’, I mean poleeze…

RxB: You got the controller? It’s anagrams, pause it.

SEB: Way ahead of you.

AA: Thanks, Richard. So let’s reveal our 5 anagrams and here they come…

 

RxB: The top one is rhino,  rhinoceros…

SEB: Meerkat!

RxB: …the next one down is alligator.

SEB: Meerkat and the one in the middle is chimpanzee. Don’t know the bottom one.

RxB: A lean poet..?

SEB: Antelope? How do you spell antelope?

RxB: A, n, t, e… Yeah, ‘antelope’. We shit that board, aced it! Press play.

SEB: Five stars!

RxB: What do you reckon we should go with, alligator or antelope?

SEB: Which one’s alligator?

RxB: Alligator it is.

AA: We’ve got ‘On Rich Rose’, ‘A Trial Log’, ‘Impeach Zen’, ‘Ark Meet’, ‘Lean Poet. I shall read those again, ‘On Rich Rose’, ‘A Trial Log’, ‘Impeach Zen’, ‘Ark Meet’, ‘Lean Poet. So, Jamie and Alex, you go first.

JAMIE: My spelling is so bad…

ALEX: (whispers) Alligator is the second one.

JAMIE: You’re sure it is?

ALEX: I think so, yeah…

JAMIE: I don’t know how to spell!

ALEX: Should we go with the second one?

JAMIE: Is that how you spell it though?

ALEX: I think so.

JAMIE: You’re how sure?

ALEX: Er, 90%.

JAMIE: Okay for 90% I’ll take… if you’re wrong, I’ll be furious. Um, number 2 we think is alligator.

RxB: They’ve gone for our one. Come on Ruth, antelope. It’s the only one that might beat it.

SEB: Have a shot and pass me that packet of fags.

AA: Okay. Jamie and Alex are saying ‘Alligator’ for ‘A Trial Log’. Now then, er, Solomon and Ruth. The board is all yours, talk us through it.

RUTH: Okay, the second one up is meerkat.

SOLOMON: Ah yeah… I kinda think ‘ark meet’ is a real animal anyway.

RxB: Fuck! They’re gonna go for meerkat. Bollocks!

RUTH: Yeah, let’s… shall we go *claps* we’ll go for meerkat.

RxB: That’s it! They’re out…

SEB: Ruth. You’re fired!

RxB: Piss off! Redundant, thank you.

SOLOMON: Mer… meerkat.

AA: Okay, you’re gonna go for ‘meerkat’. So we’ve got ‘alligator’, we’ve got ‘meerkat’. Jamie and Alex said ‘alligator’, let’s see if that’s right, let’s see how many people said ‘alligator’.

AA: 16!

JAMIE: That’s not us… oh it is us… Come On!

 

ALEX: I wondered why you weren’t celebrating.

AA: Okay, Solomon and Ruth have gone for ‘meerkat’ for ‘ark meet’. Let’s see if that’s right and if it is, how many people said that. It’s right. Oi! Look at that 83!

RxB: Fuck me, that’s high!

SEB: Ooh. Did she win the apprentice?

RxB: Na. She got beat in the final to someone who outsourced telecoms to India.

SEB: Oh yeah? How did she get on?

RxB: Dunno. Got pregnant before she she started, I think.

RUTH: That’s life!

AA: Very well done. After 3 questions we’ve finally got there. Jamie and Alex, you go through to the final 2 nil.

OZ: Er, yes, it’s the best answer on the board as well, gents. Very well played.

OZ: Um, the top one is ‘rhinoceros’, would have scored you 26. The middle one, chimpanzee, would have scored you 38. And at the bottom…

AA: Antelope.

OZ: ‘Antelope’ and that would have scored you 19. So, yeah, ‘alligator’, best answer up there.

RxB: I knew it! Now I can play for the Jackpot Round.

SEB: You can anyway.

RxB: Yeah, I know but… it doesn’t matter. Shot?

SEB: Yeah. Go and get a fresh can of Bull from the fridge, this one’s dead. 

AA: There we are. So, the pair laving us at the end of the Head 2 Head round… and I’m sorry, Solomon and Ruth, it is you. You made it this far. Listen, it been such an experience having you on the show. Er, please come back and do it again.

RUTH: Yeah… never, never.

AA: Thanks very much for playing. Solomon and Ruth!

RUTH: Thank you.

AA: But for Jamie and Alex it’s time for our Pointless Final.

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Yikes! Only the Jackpot Round left, when all will be revealed… Have a Song 😉