Someday Girl

someday (adv.)

“at some indefinite date in the future,” 1768, from some + day.

MISS SOMEDAY.

Poor Charley wooed, but wooed in vain,

From Monday until Sunday;

Still Cupid whisper’d to the swain

“You’ll conquer Betsey Someday.”

[“The Port Folio,” June 1816]

*Hello, Clicky… /lights up… That’s a good quality vid… /drags… Who uploaded it?*

MadFranko008 posts Blondie Sunday Girl on YT

*Figures… /rolls eyes…*

Good afternoon, Dear Reader. Yesterday I received a care package from my friends Legs and Poppy. Fortunately, I knew it was coming…

Leggy tweets Roob about a mystery gift

So one parcel, Dear Reader, containing three items, one of which was a mystery thing, and two were signed. Let’s look at each in order…

Samuel’s Girl

I’d recently given a copy of ‘Six in Five in Four‘ to my IT Director at work. For his holiday; he was going sailing for a week, and so in desperate need of a collection of short stories, for dipping into when not doing important things with ropes and sails…

Roob tells Leggy about Nick

Samuel's Girl Signed To Nick

*/puffs… Kit Kat does take nice photos with his phone, Clicky…*

Mad Men

Mad Men Expanded

Although Poppy’s DVD gift was not a mystery, Dear Reader, it did have an element of surprise…

Mad Men in Danish

*/flicks ASH… Utter madness, Clicky… /drags… Still the play’s the…*

Mystery Thing

The third item in the care package was indeed signed, Dear Reader, but it wasn’t a book…

Hi Ruth

Final got this posted! The book and DVD are in the bottom of the box. On top is something I had no idea what to do with, so I thought “I know, I’ll lumber Ruth with it.” So here it is 😀

Six in Five in Four Original Artwork Signed

Do with it as you will, it probably burns well 😉

Kevin

Leggy had sent me his original artwork for the cover of ‘Six in Five in Four’! On the reverse, written faintly in pencil, were the names of all six Anthology authors, alongside their alchemy symbol. Thing Two, a.k.a. Kit Kat, was most intrigued by this; he even took a copy of the book away to read…

snoopy faint

*I know! …/stubs butt… That’s all it fucking took to get him interested, Clicky…*

Leggy tells Roob to go hang

I’ve hung Leggy’s book cover artwork in pride of place, Dear Reader, above the place where I lay down… my head to sleep… perchance to dream…

Bedroom Wall

Have a Song ❤

 

New Ham Let: ‘Cos Play’s The Fing

*/lights up… Afternoon, Clicky… /drags… Feeling Old Skool, are we? …/streams smoke…*

I saw a tweet earlier today, Dear Reader…

*’rollie stone’… /:D… *

Franglish Monkey Sync Sense goes for Smiles

Having a fascination with ‘signs’ and ‘syncs‘, I was interested to see, just how far the UK had “sunk”, so I clicked and started to read

‘ROLLING Stones guitarist Keith Richards proved he’s still got plenty of puff left — after being given permission to smoke on stage.

‘The 74-year-old rocker was seen having a crafty cigarette during the band’s show in London this week — aptly called their No Filter tour.

‘He was cheered by the crowd of 70,000 at The London Stadium in Stratford as he lit up, flouting the strict no smoking rule.’

GOSH

*/thinks and smokes… 70,000 people applauding the lighting of a cigarette, against the rules? In a stadium, Clicky, some believe hosted a magikal ceremony… /smokes and thinks… I wonder if the magik was intended as a one-off thing, or if the potential lingers longer than anticipated?*

*Butt then aren’t we all born a bit slippy, Clicky? …/blows smoke rings…*

The next bit of the article I found particularly interesting, Dear Reader – the Local Authority expounds on the issue…

‘But Newham Council said it would not be taking any action because smoking was part of the act. ‘Smoking on stage is permitted “where the artistic integrity of a performance makes it appropriate for a person to smoke”, therefore no action will be taken,’ it added.’

*As You Like it… /final drag… Underworld may have directed the music but Shake Sphere’s Tempest formed the basis of that magikal ceremony in 2012, Clicky… /fills air with smoke… And he’s still going…*

ode-by-a-smoking-brexiteer

*Smoking is an art, Clicky… /stubs butt… Sonnet 6+6+6… Ya Ken?*

Time for a Song, Dear Reader. Enjoy rest rest of Whitsun ❤

*Really, Clicky? I’d have had money on you going with a Stones Song…*

Marvel Loose Sat-Ear-Day

Apparently, there was a high profile wedding going on yesterday…

*Close enough, Clicky…*

… I couldn’t face the whole… */searches for appropriate word* … utter BOLLOCKS! of it all, Dear Reader…

… In hopes to avoid it, and prompted by Thing 2, I caught up on some movies he’d seen but that I had neglected to watch. During a rambling kitchen conversation on Friday evening, whilst he toasted and I buttered bagels, Kit Kat gave me a list of three to see, starting with…

*Thaw… /lights up… Blue Frank… /drags… has an interesting post up on his ‘Ice Age Theory’ today, Clicky… /streams smoke…  Oh that’s reminds me, I got Iceland in the World Cup Sweepstake at work… /rolls eyes…*

I enjoyed watching Thor, so proceeded to watch his next suggestion, ‘Spiderman Homecoming’, and was surprised to see that Michael Keaton was in it…

*Oh! Best Batman! …/drags… After Adam West… /thinks… He plays ‘The Vulture’ in this flick Clicky, an arms dealer… /blows cloud of smoke…*

Now, you may have spotted a theme in Kit Kat’s ‘Educating Mum’ movie selection, Dear Reader…

Marvel (n.)

‘c. 1300, “miracle,” also “wonderful story or legend,” from Old French merveille “a wonder, surprise, miracle,” from Vulgar Latin *miribilia (also source of Spanish maravilla, Portuguese maravilha, Italian maraviglia), altered from Latin mirabilia “wonderful things,” from neuter plural of mirabilis“wonderful, marvelous, extraordinary; strange, singular,” from mirari “to wonder at,” from mirus“wonderful” (see smile). A neuter plural treated in Vulgar Latin as a feminine singular. Related: Marvels.’

… Sew his last recommendation turned out to be particularly ‘synchy’…

*/flicks ash… Who’d have thought that I’d finally succumb …/drags… and watch the one fucking film I’d been avoiding on Malcolm X Day, Clicky! …/snorts smoke…*

*Yikes! …/deep drag… Let’s wrap this up, Clicky…*

Anyhoo, Dear Reader, until next time… Have a Song… ❤

Missive From ‘Merica: So Long and SoPi

My good friend Cade, the Okie Devil from Textus, sent through a new missive for us last night, Dear Reader. But first… some sad news: smoking internet pal, Nik Nak…

nik nak

… died yesterday. The news of his passing broke in the Blue universe today via Frank. More tender words and remembrances of our stalwart friend can be found via Leggy, Bucko and Grandad

*/lights up… hope Dear Reader goes and read the comments too, Clicky… /drags… He will be missed… /smokes… I expect Smoky Drinky’ll be heaving tonight…*

*******

Let's find some work!

Ripley: Hey, I feel like kind of a fifth wheel around here. Is there anything I can do?

Apone: I don’t know, is there anything you can do?

Movie = Aliens

^The Beatles – Paperback Writer^
So...where do I start?

Craigslist is infested with data/information leeches and scammers, newspapers are going to require me to subscribe and/or pay. I don’t trust Monster nor Dice since they’ve gone through so many acquisitions that I don’t even know who they are anymore, so…where do I start?

The Best Search Engines of 2018

Blech!

Let’s take a step backwards, start from the beginning, and find out what I can do.

I know how to operate a cash register and have worked at jobs handling cash.

I know logistics and have warehouse experience.

I know how to fuel airplanes.

I know customer support, have done help desk, desktop support and phone support.

I know technical writing.

I know software development and programming…

 but I haven't done it in forever.

I’m gonna stop there, because what I really need is an old copy of my resume, and I currently have no way of getting to it since it’s sitting on the hard drive of a computer that doesn’t work anymore. Hell, it may be gone forever if the hard drive doesn’t work.

Fuck this noise 😦
^depeche mode – work hard (1983)^

Let’s share what I’ve seen on Craigslist lately…

Resistance/Liberal Contributors Wanted For New Humor Site

No pay – “Exposure” only.

😦

We need readers

They don’t want me to respond via Craigslist? Seems shady, but $16-$32 a day to read books? I could likely read 2-4 books a day quite easily. But then I have to write a review and, since I’m being paid, that means that I’ll be gleaning the turds for peanuts in order to find something remotely palatable to write about. I mean, they are going to want positive reviews, kind words, shit that sells books: no one wants a paid reviewer shitting atop their shit pile. That would be an ex-cess-ively shitty mess.

PC Gamers: we’re looking for writers

This appears to be another non-paying gig, and I’m going to have to spend untold hours playing a game that might suck-ass. Then I’ve got to review it. But what if the game is good, but I’m terrible at it? Would that make for a good review?

“HEY! THIS GAME IS AWESOME! But I suck at it.”

Immediate openings for P/T writing positions – Top Pay ($30/hr!)

Suddenly…I feel like the character from the movie “What Women Want”. I’m wearing pantyhose lined with panty-liners and/or maxi-pads around the house, all day, just to make $30.

Video Captioning – Earn Up To $390/week – Work From Home (Work from Home)

“Staying fresh in the workplace.”

…she says. Since when is there even a line between the home and the workplace? Go to your bathroom, take a gander around, and you are likely to see more logos and advertisements than you would see on a 15 minute drive in an urban area, even if the radio is on.

Go to your kitchen. Take a gander at your appliances. Open the fridge. Open the pantry. Advertisements and advertising have LONG invaded the home via more than just television and radio. So I would argue that “staying fresh in the workplace” really isn’t that difficult. Not to mention that “keeping up” is just more advertising for more revenue streams. Certifications aren’t free, nor is the process of getting them.

Let's abandon this ship. 

It’s long since sailed.

^TOTAL IDIOTS AT WORK^
Let's go with recent experience to start...

Recent Experience: Thinking. Writing. More thinking. Blabbing nonsense on Twitter with a few friends.

And yep...more thinking.

That shit don’t pay, so let’s stop dilly-dallying, crank up MS Paint, and start making some attempts at…

SoPi-H

Q: Can magnetics be used to focus?

A: Ever heard of a compass?

Simple.

NO!

I mean within the mind.

Within the body.

Q: What tools do we have available to us in order to better navigate our daily challenges better?

A: Time. Can't do jack shit without the time to do it in.

But you gotta keep some things in mind.

Bird Migration

Birds seem to know where to go, how long to stay there, when to go somewhere else, and where to go. So let’s stretch that out a bit. Let’s stretch it out say…over the course of a spring/summer/fall.

Spring is coming. You are a bird that migrates up north as the weather warms. However, back at the place you just left – unbeknownst to you – some contractor just started a new project to build town homes over the next 6-8 months. When August/September rolls around, and you begin your journey all the way back to your wintering grounds, you’ve no idea that when you get there, your home is going to be gone.

Fucking squatters.
^Missy Elliott – Work It (Official Video)^

SO!!! How do we navigate our own minds within and without? Visualization sometimes helps. But most of the more modern tools are too linear, and most of the old “mysteries” kinds of things are too static or vague. I need something more fluid. Less rigid, but solid.

Solid like air. Solid like water.

Everything is contextual with fluids. Go fast enough? Air will burn you like a charcoal briquette, and water will break every bone in your body. And yet… a breeze at the right time is like a cuddle from the sweetest of lovers, and a splash of water at the right time can cool and refresh. I’m not trying to invent a steering wheel for the soul; there are PLENTY of fucks willing to tell you what to do with that thing.

Nope, this is more about how spirit and mind get us through the things we encounter. We like to think that almost everything is either positive or negative; good or bad; right or wrong; correct or incorrect; but it’s all those things. Hence, I think we spend most of our time in a state of indifference.

EX: Buy/Don’t buy. Sell/don’t sell. Walk/don’t walk. Run/don’t run.

We don’t like to think of ourselves as indifferent because it seems too wishy-washy. And yet…

decisions, decisions, decisions.

So yeah, indifference…we hang out there a lot methinks. Our secret lover.

^Work For Love – Ministry^
SoPi-H – Iteration 01
SoPi-H – Iteration 02
SoPi-H – Iteration 03
SoPi-H – Iteration 04
SoPi-H – Iteration 05a
SoPi-H – Iteration 05b
SoPi-H – Iteration 06a
SoPi-H – Iteration 06b

So yeah… SoPi-H. That’s it. That’s them. That’s…what it is…what they are…

whatever.
^Fifth Harmony – Work from Home ft. Ty Dolla $ign^

Drawing this shit from the hip, and not trying to be so goddamn perfect, sometimes aptly displays why I’m not always “all about shit lining up perfectly” or according to some rigid set(s) of specifics. As the perspective changes, so does the outlook on “what lines up…and what don’t”.

EX: SoPi-H_03 doesn’t look so bad. However, when you turn it 90° to make SoPi-H_04? Yeah…the wonkyness is MUCH more apparent.

The personification of indifference with respect to decision making.

The “defect” was always there, you just had to approach from the correct angle/perspective in order to see it. It looked great here, but not so much later. So if you’ve attached your anchor to a certain principle, what happens when you take a look at that principle from another angle?

Q: Are you locked in?

A: !!!

It’s like finding a defect in clothing after you already purchased it, removed all the tags, you wear it for the first time, and you or someone else notices something about the garment later. I mean the fucking thing looked just fine on the rack.

FUCK!!!

How in the HELL does something like this get past quality control at the place that manufactured it? Why would a retailer not check their own stock for defects prior to making it available for sell?

What I did there...do you see it?
^deadmau5 – Hyperlandia^

cYa | cFa
^The Beatles – A Day In The Life^

*******

Dear Reader… Have a Song… ❤

 

Sumfin’ Fishy: A Roob/Click Convo Fragment

*Has your boat come in, Clicky? …/rolls eyes… Funny, I can’t smell any fish… /sniffs...*

*/blank stare… Nope, you’ve lost me… /flicks lighter…*

*/lights up… Catch much fish in a dead pool, Clicky? …/deep drag…*

*Fuck! That a hell of a fish tail… /taps ash… Nekked, eh? Wouldn’t want that nosying around your wahoo… /puffs…*

Five Alive? Defo!

*Ah cool image, Clicky… /pat snout… Actually my hair hasn’t looked like that once this week… /lights up…*

Dear Reader, I have been on holiday these last couple of days, and have finally managed to write my short story about a hedge riding hag

feather powered happiness

*I am pretty happy with the result, Clicky…/puffs…*

…and have submitted it to Leggy for inclusion in the upcoming ‘Underdog Anthology V‘. The story is called ‘Nine Lives’…

*I’ve still got time to mutilate a poem for the Afterword before I go back to work, Clicky… /drags… If I can find the right one… /billows smoke…*

I was also able to spend some time yesterday in the Blue universe. Frank Davis had been snooping around New York, after reading about the proposed bill to stop people from smoking whilst walking the streets of that fair city

*They’re fucking unbelievable! …/flicks ash… First you can’t smoke inside, and now the utopian dreamers are trying to dictate where and how you can smoke outside… /deep drag… Nasty Not-sees indeed… /sighs…*

He was looking at street signs there and came across one that had him perplexed…

‘Just a few yards away was another really weird sign. I think it was some sort of aphorism. But I couldn’t make out what it said, because it seemed to be written in bleeding, dripping letters that said something like Afraid And Dead. I guess that if you were crossing 2nd Avenue and you stopped to try to figure out what the scary sign meant, you’d find out when you got hit by a truck.’

It puzzled me, too; however, the photo Frank included was somewhat fuzzy, so I sent Clicky off for a closer inspection…

sign for blue frank

*Much better but it still looks like worshipers or sumfin’ to me, Clicky… /drags deeply… In sinister black… /snorts smoke…*

… and find an answer.

school for deaf street sign new york

*Those are hands!*

hans gruber

*/reads slowly… School For Deaf …/squints… Dept of Transport… /final drag… Oh! The yellow buses! It’s a bus stop sign, Clicky! … /streams smoke…*

applause sign

*Alright, don’t take the piss… /stubs butt… Well done you, though, on working it out… There’s a good assistant… /pats snout…*

It was a sign for deaf school children, Dear Reader…

…As my good friend, Cade, might say…

‘MYSTERY SOLVED! NEXT!’

music sign

*Okay then…/lights up… And as you’re such a clever Clicky, you can choose…*

Dear Reader… Have a Song 😀

 

Chickpeas A Chance

A tweet caught my attention this morning, Dear Reader…

Ninamoose101 is feeling sad and depressed

I’m not that keen on the VEG(etari)AN movement. I don’t trust it’s zealotry and I certainly don’t trust it’s sponsors

…Butt, as I’d mentioned last weekend, The Secret Sun site has been busy cataloging the current de-luge of Vega/Vegas/Vegan media messaging…

*That’s a concise little video, Clicky… /lights up… Thanks for pulling it out… /drags… I’d only heard of Jeff Buckley for the first time in the Blue universe… *

…I was intrigued to what they were up to now, so I decided to go and have a look at the “so sad and utterly depressing” article for myself…

Metro Vegan Rubies

*/smirks… I doo like to catch a Roobee reference, Click… /snorts smoke…*

‘My current favourite dinner item is Iceland’s hash brown fries (seriously, try them), dipped in mayo (I never said I was classy).

‘Now, I’ve got two ride or die vegan mayos – Plamil’s garlic mayo, and Vegenaise (only if it’s on offer, because it’s hella expensive) but my eye wandered today when I discovered that there’s a new mayo in town.

‘And it’s made from waste water from the hummus industry.

‘Yup, Rubies in the Rubble mayo is made using aquafaba – the water drained from tins of chickpeas and other legumes. It translates from Latin as ‘bean water’.’

*Mmm… I like hummus, Clicky… /taps ash… And I like mayo… /puffs… especially with ham… /smacks lips…*

*/deep drag… Way to kill the messenger eh, Clicky? …/fiddles with lighter… *

… I confess, Dear Reader, when I read ‘chickpea’ in the article, Cicero sprang to mind…

Cicero’s cognomen, or personal surname, comes from the Latin for chickpeacicer. Plutarch explains that the name was originally given to one of Cicero’s ancestors who had a cleft in the tip of his nose resembling a chickpea. However, it is more likely that Cicero’s ancestors prospered through the cultivation and sale of chickpeas. Romans often chose down-to-earth personal surnames. The famous family names of Fabius, Lentulus, and Piso come from the Latin names of beans, lentils, and peas, respectively.’

… Roman Beans, Lentils and Peas, all vegan staples, but what is ‘aquafaba’? Back to the offending article…

”Of course, using aquafaba to make mayo isn’t new – the aforementioned vegan mayos use aquafaba from soy beans – but Rubies’ aquafaba is a byproduct of the hummus industry.

‘‘We were inspired to get back into the kitchen after we saw a vegan foodie blogger was making gorgeous looking meringue with aquafaba, saying it performed just like egg whites,’ says Rubies co-founder, Jenny Costa.’

*You just had to bring it back to physics, Clicky… /rolls eyes… *

Rubble scratch

*Yeah… /pats snout… I don’t understand it either… /final drag… Shall we wrap this one up?*

Hold Your Horses

*What?… /stubs butt…*

chickpea crisis

*Oh fuck! Well that’s even more of a reason for hummus producers to sell their been water to the vegans… Waste not, want knot…*

Apparently, we are in the midst of a great ‘Chickpea Crisis‘, Dear Reader…

Scooby snigger

*I know! Shh…*

‘The price of popular brand Me Too! has gone up by 12p for a 250g pot and 19p for a 500g pot. But the makers say the price rises have been down to the supermarkets.’

Whoa! Brand #metoo is getting kinda pricey. I think we need a Song 😉