Missive From ‘Merica: Bend It, Shape It, Shake & Bake It
*Blimey! I’ve been to three of the Canary Islands, but not that one… /lights up and smokes… Wait! Isn’t that the volcano in that Horizon doc I saw ages ago, Clicky?*
*Thought so. Shit… /plumes smokes… well, let’s hope that don’t ‘appen…*
Hello there, Dear Reader. I’ve been under the kosh for the past few days, as I’ve been trying to finish writing ‘OK Charon!’, the next installment of my Ronageddon series of stories for the next Underdog Anthology. So I was delighted to find a missive from Cade Fon Apollyon waiting for me this morning…
*It’s always a pleasure to read Cade’s writing, Clicky…*
… And I couldn’t wait to share it with you. Enjoy!
If those of you running things on the web and/or various websites have wondered if you are approaching critical mass on the number of ads you are subjecting visitors to, the answer is yes. For this reason, there will be no YouTube video accompanying this section. Sweet Jesus, you fuckers are off your rockers with the ads. And the popups now are worse than they were in the late 1990’s/early 2000’s. In fact, it’s now a rarity that a website does not give me a popup of some kind. Fucking hell…you do want me to read your content, right? Not spend the entirety of my time on your site clicking off popups in an attempt to read your content, then getting frustrated and leaving, never to return? But yeah, critical mass, website ads, you’re there.
Speaking of, I’ve had my current email address for 6 and 1/2 years, and in that entire span of time, I have not gotten ONE single piece of unsolicited email nor have I gotten one single piece of spam.
However, since ordering some Pizza Hut pizza online a coupla months ago? I’ve had a rich relative who I didn’t even know existed up and die and they left me like 30 million dollars, I’ve had someone offer to pay me several million dollars to help them smuggle their millions out of some backwater country, the United Nations/World Bank has discovered that they owe me 5.4 million dollars for some unknown reason, the International Monetary Fund has discovered that they owe me 10.7 million dollars because of corrupt bank officials and courier companies, and I’ve also won 1.2 million dollars in the Australian Lottery. Fuck ME! I had no idea giving my email to complete strangers was gonna make me so goddamn LUCKY!!!! And just in time for my Vegas tip too!
Thank you PIZZA HUT!!! ❤ ❤ ❤
Had you and/or your employees not sold my email address to a bunch of sleazy fucknuts for a few bucks, I would not be the multi-millionaire I am today.
You, are way behind me. Your quest to elevate yourself to an enlightened state is happening so far behind my own that I am lightyears ahead of you. I am knocking on God’s door, and you are so fucking lost that you are still unsure whether or not God even has a door. Hell, you’re so far behind me that you’re prolly still doubting there even is a God.
X: This is not where you were going.
0: May I interject here? I sense danger, and for once I’d like to see the kid avoid trouble if possible.
Cade: I was going to put forth the notion that, in some things, we might actually be able to challenge this almighty entity many of us have grown up hearing about.
0: But…you got lost.
Cade: Correct. I had an idea, was gonna write it down, and in the 15 to 20 seconds it took for me to pull my tubby ass off the floor and open my word processor, the thought was gone.
0: Why do you think that is?
Cade: I really do not know. I didn’t sense danger. And I honestly sat there for a minute or so trying to get the feeling back, but it did not come.
Cade: Yes. Everything that I write is a feeling. Something in me…erm…feels, like, a certain way or something, and the words come.
0: But, you aren’t being totally honest here. You had a brief moment where you thought “this might not be such a good idea”, and you were unable to recall your thought.
Cade: Again, correct.
0: So what is this “challenge God” crap?
Cade: I really don’t know. It was an idea that maybe sometimes we are on a more or less equal footing with…”elevated fuckers”, or whatever…and I wanted to explore the idea of what we as individuals chose to do in those situations.
0: Do you really think it a good idea to point out such things?
Cade: I can take the high ground here and say “no”, but I don’t think that would be honest to the feeling that I had in my gut.
0: Which was?
Cade: Perhaps a bit on how to deal with success.
0: You aren’t very good with that.
Cade: Fuck no I ain’t. I have no idea what “success” even is beyond some social construct where outside opinion is required in order to justify a contextual something.
0: And shortly after any such proclamations, you’re right back to being a moron.
Cade: Exactly. Some…”poking my head above the clouds” type of moment occasionally exists within the fabric of space and time, these moments are rare, and fleeting.
X: You think that in these moments, you’ve challenged God, and won?
Cade: No. As far as I can tell, the idea is to challenge yourself and win. As to whether that victory somehow translates to God or others, I do not know.
X: And yet, you had an idea that led you to come here and write about the notion of “challenging God”, and now you’re talking about…whatever it is that you are talking about.
Cade: OK…then let’s wander back to where this idea sprang from.
0: Are you sure you want to do this.
Cade: No. But, I’m gonna do it anyway.
0: God be with you.
Cade: The original thought that got me to spinning was the idea of eliminating the concept of “human trafficking”.
0: You’ve temporarily fixed your broken headphones, you started to watch a documentary, but then you stopped watching it because you thought of a someone who might want to watch it with you.
Cade: Correct. I stopped, and someone in the documentary had just put forth the notion of “permanently eliminating human trafficking”.
0: Sounds like something good to aspire to.
Cade: God is the biggest human trafficker in history.
0: Uh oh…
Cade: You ain’t wrong. It’s a helluva thought to have, but after thinking on it for a moment, I can find no fault with the thought.
0: And so your idea was that you are basically “challenging God”?
Cade: No. My thought was that anyone who read my making the assertion that “God is the biggest human trafficker in history” would likely see me as challenging God. This had the knock-on effect of me starting to wonder if such thoughts in my own head are “a challenge to God”.
0: And you promptly sat up to start writing, then forgot what you were going to write.
Cade: Yes. BUT! See what just sitting down and writing a bit got me?
X: Why yes, I do.
Cade: lolz…look, I can see the thought being a bit…um, controversial or inflammatory or emotionally charged or whatever, but the point was, there was a dude in this film who suggested that we humans should endeavor to completely eliminate the concept of “human trafficking”, which on the surface sounds great and all, but it immediately became clear that in order to do so, there are metric shit tons of stuff that will need to be eliminated as a consequence.
Cade: Well, I’m not going to go into all the details, but it immediately occurred to me that, if there is indeed “a” God, or if there are “gods”, anyone wanting to eliminate human trafficking is gonna find themselves toe-to-toe with these entities at some point.
X: And by default, will actually and eventually find themselves staring down “the” God?
X: And the result would be?
Cade: No idea. I only know that, within the framework of “creation”, there appears to be a force that deals in human flesh/human lives, and for one to actually eliminate this “trafficking” would, perhaps, fuckup “Creation” as we know it.
X: And from there, your mind wandered.
Cade: Well, yeah. There’s all kinds of “futurist” types of considerations.
Z: Designer babies.
Cade: Yes, but in all honestly that concept is nothing new. People have been matchmaking in various modes since the beginning of time as far as I can tell. The only difference is maybe the means and a somewhat greater availability via technology and such.
A: And your feelings on these matters?
Cade: It comes down to the same shit as just about everything that I write.
A: Which is?
Cade: How many lines am I crossing, and am I in any way prepared to cross them.
X: You honestly think that “God” deals in flesh?
Cade: There are points in the Bible where God talks about intentionally making people stupid or blind or ignorant or hardening their hearts or whatever….I guess, in order for “God” to get what they want.
X: Your point?
Cade: I have to wonder sometimes if God makes me a moron for the express purpose of letting me blunder around in the dark.
Z: I admit I am a bit lost.
Cade: I know that is not true, but thank you for providing me a moment in which to meld these many ideas.
0: You are suggesting that God is a human trafficker…
Cade: Wait…for the sake of arguments, let’s make “God” and “Nature” somewhat interchangable.
X: Are you sure you want to do that?
Cade: Actually, no. It muddies the discussion something fierce. That said, it’s probably a fair approach seeing as how plenty of people seem to have no idea what to think about the concept of “God”.
T: Many have no idea what to think about the concept of “Nature” either.
Cade: Tru dat.
0: So you think that you have what is essentially a heretical and/or blasphemous type of thought, and you wonder if God is making you just stupid enough to ramble on about it anyway.
Cade: I think it highly possible that if there is some “higher” something actively working on my own life, that yes, they can potentially make me capable of being smart and stupid at the same time. And, fuck, they ain’t gotta do much at all to make me stupid.
0: And what about smart?
Cade: I’ll refer back to the original thought of typically needing some kind of outside influence to even have the slightest comprehension of what is typically billed as “success”. I’m successful at a lot of things that many if not most wouldn’t even bat an eye at because they aren’t things that are all flashy and make loads of people cream in their pants or swoon or whatever.
X: You’re thinking that “simulation theory” or “simulation hypothesis” is part of the posthumanist agenda.
Cade: It occurs to me that in order to eliminate “human trafficking”, there is a lot of average and boring shit that most “elevated folk” will almost certainly overlook, and all of this will also need to be tamed and then controlled.
X: And you think that the Posthumanists will think of these things?
Cade: Well, if they haven’t thought of it before, they’ll sure as shit be thinking about it now.
0: The Matrix has you Cade.
Cade: So it would seem.
0: And what was all that jazz about being ahead of others?
Cade: Just think that there has to be some property embedded within the concept of “ascension” where some, must, be left behind.
0: Doesn’t seem quite fair.
Cade: Fuck fair. I wasn’t thinking about “fair” as much as I was thinking more about how and why “elders” cannot relate to their own peers irrespective of where these peers may be in their own journey.
X: Get too big for for their own britches.
Cade: Maybe. Was just thinking that perhaps “relating” is so difficult because everyone is struggling so much to get those top tiers and become untouchable, that they forget from whence they came.
0: Do you?
Cade: Probably. I try not to, but I’m sure I fail miserably just like I fail at every other fucking thing.
You may not have read all that. I would submit tho that yes indeedy, if one is going to endeavor to “end human trafficking”, it is likely that you are only thinking in terms of “evil”, and you’ve not thought this through. Hell, once you get to thinking in both good and evil terms, you’re then gonna have to stop thinking only in “human” terms, and that is gonna be so deep and overwhelming that you might just lose heart entirely.
Human tissue trafficking. Bacteria trafficking. Virus trafficking. Plant trafficking. Animal trafficking. Insect trafficking. Oil trafficking. CO2 trafficking. Mineral trafficking. Vitamin trafficking. *.* trafficking. Like it or not, your very existence causes you to stomp the living shit out of all kinds of things – you traffic in all kinds of things, and you likely don’t give these things a second thought, let alone think of yourself as a trafficker. However, if you’re gonna plumb these depths, you’re gonna have to give some of these things some thought. Or, you can just, half-ass it like most crusaders do. Take what you can get then pat yourself on the back for being all great and stuff.
Oh, and here's that documentary.
Like I said, I didn’t get that far, and to be honest it looks more like hype and cheese than anything, but I’ll prolly give it a watch at some point. If for no other reason than to see where “the up and comers” are in their various journeys.
Ya know, the big appeal of “The Matrix” is being in position to where the rules either do not apply to you, or you yourself can be in a position to bend or break the rules.
It's that simple.
I get the feeling that someday, many folks are going to “wake up” and realize that all of the crap they were reaching for, they already had it. Already possessed the freedom to bend or even break any and every rule imaginable. It will be at this point that you’ll have to come clean with yourself and admit that what you were really looking for, was a realm where you could do as you please without fear of repercussion or reprisal. Welp, I got news for you…
these realms exist too.
Very exclusive these realms tho. Very fragile too. And worst of all, they are almost certain to contain all the bullshit that you espouse to so vehemently oppose. Quite a loop. Cover a lot of ground, and go basically…
Do you even know what “swing” is? Of course you don’t. Who the fuck listens to swing anymore, let alone any music that either has swing in it or a swing to it.
Have often wondered about the nature of time, as it pertains to the times that are crammed in it. One of the most intriguing ideas is the notion of how time appears to run faster or slower under certain conditions. And by faster or slower, I’m referring to faster according to our own perception of “normal time”, or slower according to our own perception of “normal time”. Some examples would be when people have near-death or some other type of traumatic event, huge chunks of time can appear to run extremely fast, and we know that the further that one travels away from the Earth, the more time appears to slow down.
For me personally, all kinds of things are always running at strange times because of some “celestial events” that I use constantly as filters for my own thoughts. Big Bang, Big Crunch, Big Swirl, Pulsars, Novae, Black Holes, etc.. Over the past 10 years or so, I’ve also picked up some less relatable filters via thoughts about…erm…how do I word this…”entites who move through time differently than we do”. Basically, living beings of some kind that move through time and space faster or slower than we do. These thoughts can be quite scary when one thinks about contextual events such as “moving through space which contains a star, when operating in a realm where time moves thousands to millions faster or more slower according to the observer than time moves for us.”
I mean, can you imagine moving through a star when you’re only moving at 1 foot per year? Or 1 foot ever million years? Yeah, I know. There are questions there regarding things like mortality/immortality, but this does not invalidate the thoughts on speed if for no other reason than we humans have little to no understanding about either concept, and plenty of folks in our own human history who seem to think that at least some part of our own mortal being carries some immortal something within it. And of course, there’s that pesky “energy can neither be created nor destroyed” conservation of energy thing.
All that said, where I was really going with this is some thoughts that I’ve had regarding “The Big Bang” and the idea that it wasn’t just some singular something as it is usually portrayed in all those science shows with their fancy explosions. Namely my thoughts have been, it happened, it is still happening right now, and it will continue to happen. It is with that thought I’ve wondered…wait, what if a star is actually an exploding something that is running at a different time than we perceive time? Stars supposedly collect a bunch of crap that is floating around via some unknown process(es), then they eventually get so dense that some chain reaction starts via some critical mass, then all that shit catches on fire and starts burning. Welp, from there, our understanding is that the star starts expanding as it gives off energy and starts losing its mass, and a star will continue expanding, growing larger and larger throughout its “life”.
Sounds like an explosion to me.
Perhaps a really fucking slow explosion, but an explosion nonetheless. Eventually, this “slow-ass explosion” will eventually speed up to speeds that we more readily understand when the thing goes nova or supernova. But until that time, I mean, the entire mass of the Universe is pressing down on this star, right? The entire mass of the Universe is basically containing this explosion. So, why would this “explosion” run at the same time as everything else?
I’ve watched plenty of videos of the Slow Mo Guys and others blowing shit up underwater, and every time they do this, I’ve seen that little “star” or “Big Bang” representation in these detonations. However, for some reason that video above and that first pop Gav does really demonstrates these thoughts that I’ve had about time running slower (or faster) under certain conditions. Perhaps it’s the proximity of an object nearby, or maybe I’ve watched so damn many of these things that I was finally able to express in words what I’ve been seeing for so long. I’m not an educated fella so, I don’t really possess the vocabulary to express things the way some actual scientist might. And that’s by design because if I learn their language, I’m gonna just wind up talking like they do and saying the same shit they do and that ain’t gonna help anyone. Gotta find my own way. Or die trying.
Prolly gonna be that second one.
That shit always has a bend to it. And no matter what it is, if it’s not bending now, or it hasn’t bent in the past, you can bet your ass it is gonna bend at some point. Has to be some property embedded within even the most linear of somethings that, causes it to bend. Maybe even break. Maybe even break before the “bend” property can be realized or maybe even before it can be recognized as a bend.
Q: Can a “bend” property exist within a system, yet never be identifiable as such?
A: ? /?\ ?
Gotta be possible. You have no interest in this. It’s all “Big Swirl” crap and “The Big Swirl” isn’t even a real thing so, I’ll bail.
cYa | cFa
*For the Song? …/stubs butt.. That’s an idea, Clicky…*
I don’t know about you, but I feel refreshed now, and ready to get back down to writing. Thank you Cade ❤
See you next time, Dear Reader, and… Have a Song ❤
Pimple Prick Eruption: A Roob/Click Convo Fragment
*/Dons PPE… Ready then, Clicky, play the vid…*
*Captain Cook’s Sandwich Islands? …/lights up… I’m Kveen of Sammiches, Clicky… /drags… Hey, didn’t you send some Bubbles in Hugo’s direction earlier today? …/streams smoke…*
*/taps teeth… Cade started his post yesterday with a rather large bubble, Click …/deep drag…*
*/blows smoke ring… Yeah, he teally is a sweetie, Clicky… *
*Yikes! …/flicks ash…*
‘In other words, what’s happened over the last eight days was just “cleaning out the pipes” so to speak.’
*/final drag… She’s a right Nuclear Wintour… /snorts smoke… Didn’t Trinny work for her? …/stubs butt…*
Hop or Pop?: Let’s Doo IT!
Thoughtful Man’s Apol!Fon chirruped alarmingly, disturbing the calm before the Boys’ return from school, a.k.a. ‘The Storm’.
“Oh no, who’s died now?” In 2016, it’s the natural response. My money had been on Brucie.
He squinted at the screen and then looked at me in surprise. “Victoria Wood. Wow, I didn’t feel that one coming.”
I took a deep drag from my cigarette and smiled back sympathetically at him. “You might be losing your touch but actually, if you think about it, it kinda syncs.”
Now Thoughtful Man squinted at me. “How so?”
“The Ballad of Barry and Freda…” I looked at him him expectantly but he continued to stare at me blankly. “It was an answer on the episode of ‘Pointless’ we watched yesterday. Richard waxed lyrical about it.”
As is often the case, he dismissed my synchromystic observation with a roll of his eyes. But then, Thoughtful Man wasn’t aware that Vik had only just paid a visit the LoL…
*Go on then, Clicky. I should explain to Dear Reader: I post knot-ISIS of syncs in the Red universe … as opposed to helping to reveal ‘The Stink’ in the Blue. And it’s knot the smokers to blame. Reality in 2016 is built on junk science. Sum times it makes my blood boil…
Oh well, what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.* 😉
*A bonding moment, Clicky? Really? /rolls eyes…*
Extract from ‘A Family History for Ruth and Julia (Gawd ‘Elp Us!)’, a.k.a. ‘The Ma Papers’ by Judith Eileen Newton (formerly Shewan, née Packer)
One year we went hop picking together. For those of you who don’t know what hop picking is, here goes.
The breweries needed hops to make the beer and the best hops were grown in Kent. But there was no machinery in those days to pick them, so poor families, who could not afford a holiday, went hop picking. It gave a break from the city, a kind of holiday, and some income for the work that they did.
The workers were nearly all mums and kids as the men all had full time jobs. They only came down to the hop fields for the weekend. I think it must have been before Dickie and Christine were born because I don’t remember Dickie at all. Then again he might have been a baby and I tended to deny his existence when he was a baby.
One afternoon an open backed lorry pulled up and on the back were Flo, her kids and half of their home. We piled on with half of our home and we all went to Paddock Wood in Kent.
I remember it so clearly and yet I must have been very young. When we got there the farmer gave us a hut with a large wooden bed frame and a straw mattress. That was about all. Outside was a lean-to with an open cooking hearth and a variety of large cooking pots and utensils. Flo and the kids were in the next hut and we shared the cooking and washing between us.
I remember that Nanny Packer had to sweep up cow pats before we moved our stuff in because the farmer had been using the huts to house them during the winter.
The next morning we went to the field that had to be picked that day. Every family was given a station to work from. You literally had to fill these large canvas containers with hops and take to the weighing station. The amount you had picked was credited to you in a large ledger. You were then paid according to how much you picked by weight.
At first it was a novelty and we all helped. But after a while it became boring and one by one the kids went off to explore. I remember that was very exciting, exploring the streams and trees, all the animals and things we never saw in the city. Scrumping apples and eating them even though they were cooking apples and I got a belly ache.
It was just like a little city: they had a shop for provisions and a doctor called regularly and so did a priest. The atmosphere was good.
Flo and Nanny cooked over an open fire and we all had to bathed in a tin bath. Because I was the youngest I always got the last of the water but hey ho.
On Friday evening, all the men arrived on the train from London Bridge to spend the weekends with the families. I remember them all going to the pub and sitting outside. The kids got a glass of muscatel and an arrowroot biscuit. If we were lucky, we would get a packet of plain Smith’s crisps with a small blue packet of salt in the bag. We thought we were in heaven.
We stayed for the whole six weeks of school holidays and came back sun tanned and absolutely lousy with fleas. We had to be deloused but it was worth it.
*Sew then, Clicky… what should we do about Vik’s suggestion? *
*Alright, take your time… /looks at watch and sighs… Meanwhile I’ve got a job to find and another story to submit for The Underdog Anthology. I’m popping over to Hugo’s… Whilst we’re waiting, have a Song*