Missive From ‘Merica: Defective Detective

*/lights up… /drags… /streams smoke…*

Had a little bit of a hiccup with Cade’s latest missive, below, Dear Reader. Apols! Hopefully you won’t find your enjoyment diminished ❤

*******

I have come to the conclusion that my normalcy is defective.

Defective normalcy...I have it

I have the same normalcy as anyone else, it’s just that my particular batch was maybe brewed after the factory had been in business for a while. Not quite the same as the first few batches.

An acquired taste?

/shrug
^Junkie XL — Crusher.. High quality.^

Everywhere you turn, there is someone waiting to tell you what a fuckup you are. How wrong you are. How inadequate you are. What you are doing wrong. Usually because you are doing a similar or same something in a different way. Kinda makes you wonder how you’ll eventually react when someone tells you that you aren’t a fuckup. Like, would there possibly be some groups or people out there who might seek to take advantage of such channeling? You could win a lot of converts by being accepting of the mutants and defects. Assuming there are indeed people out there looking for some place to go that is. Could make you look quite powerful when you kick a mutant in the teeth.

^Marie Davidson – ‘Work It (Soulwax Remix)’^

DATELINE: 20,000,000 BC

LOCATION: Antarctica

LOCAL CLIMATE: Temperate

CONTINENTAL ICE COVERAGE: 0%

So…if 70% of the planet’s current freshwater is stored on the continent of Antarctica, and if all this shit melts the oceans are going to rise almost 400 feet and drown us all…

Q: What were the continents up to 20 million years ago?

A: ???

Yeah, I kinda get it, ocean levels were higher and a lot of shit that is above water now was below water then. As recently as 500,000 years ago, the place where my stinky ass currently sits was completely under water as part of the Gulf of Mexico/Atlantic Ocean. But there are some things that aren’t adding up. Maybe I should think on this further and reach some conclusions before writing about it. Otherwise, I’ll wind up sounding like a complete moron. Can’t have that. Gotta learn to tow the line(s).

^BORIS “Statement” (Official)^

I keep seeing these huge blocks/chunks of missing time. Especially in the geological timelines. Is that normal?

^Slowdive – Shine (Video)^

Prolly normal that science has shifts between the research only mode(s) and teaching only mode(s). And it would further make sense that some of us are just…out of sync with those cycles.

😐
^Ruby Cube – Apollo (clip officiel)^

Speaking of numbers failing…

https://twitter.com/ShelCalopa/status/1143029774920503297

*WTF, Clicky!*

*The tweet’s been deleted? …/squints… Bugger! Dear Reader’s not gonna know what Cade’s referring to. Shit, shit, shit… /pinches lip… Oh we’ll fink of sumfin. It could turn out ironic…*

It occurs to me that there’s no such thing as majority or minority when it’s just me and you. If I am “black”, and you are “white”, how do you justify these ancillary labels in a singular context? Do you really see yourself as an individual carrying the entire power of “the white race” when you encounter a person from another “race”? Because if that is so, you are likely also lugging around all the power of the human race, which I guess would include “minority peeps”. To go ridiculously further, this also would mean that you are also in possession of the powers of your gender, and all the powers of the opposite gender. I guess you’ve also got all the powers of the planet, which means you’re in possession of all the powers of the Universe…

Holy shit...you are GOD! 

Lemme bow down to you. Or maybe it’s as simple as, you’ve got what you’ve got, I’ve got what I’ve got, and what we choose to do with that is kinda up to us in the moment and moments of our individual lives. Let’s change directions.

How do you treat other life and on what do you base how you treat it? Plants? Animals? Insects? Bacteria? To get more specific how do you treat dogs? Cats? Fish? Skinks? Skunks? Roaches? Butterflies? What about less-organic stuff? Cars? Computers? Dishes? Rocks? Desks? Chairs? Punching bags? Siri? Alexa? Water? Air? Sand? Does it matter whether a certain something is “yours” as to how you treat it? Like say, you baby the hell out of greenery in your own yard, but all you do is complain about the greenery in other people’s yards? You may even utilize municipal types of powers to enforce your will on others in order to make their yard look more pleasing to your own personal sensibilities?

Phantoms...we are full of them
^Renegade Soundwave – The Phantom (It’s In There) A – 1989^

I woke up to that tweet staring me in the face, and I admit that it confused the fuck outta me…

*Clicky! There are only three people in world who might possibly understand that… /rolls eyes…*

…It made sense in that, wait, is this lady someone who is experiencing some perceived inequality because of her age, gender and race? But that’s the obvious. “Society” doesn’t appear to owe me a damn thing, nor do I expect anything from it.

That said, I talk almost incessantly with a white, middle-aged woman, and she’s got all kinds of interesting and meaningful things to say. So perhaps it’s not whether or not you have anything meaningful to say, as much as it’s a matter of whether or not you say it. Most writers are quite timid. They hesitate as to what to say, and how to say it. As a result, we tend to latch on to popular concepts, say what everyone else is saying, and what you say gets lost in the noise.

No big surprise there

Maybe it’s a matter of you not having anyone to say your piece to? Invent them. Might wanna keep in mind they are fictional tho. Don’t want your creation to become a bogeyman. Sounds like you’ve already got enough of those in your life.

^White Zombie – I’m Your Boogie Man (Sex On The Rocks Mix)^

Speaking of not being heard…I’ve not heard from a certain someone in a while.

Hope you are OK

^The Chemical Brothers – Sometimes I Feel So Deserted (Official Music Video)^

I am totally, completely, and permanently clad in nakedness.

^Broods – Freak Of Nature (Official Audio) ft. Tove Lo^
Bad behavior inspires...

Icelanders tire of disrespectful Instagram influencers

…more bad behavior. Yep, tourists behaving badly gives officials the ammo they need to behave badly themselves. You can imagine where things will go from there. On the surface, the story is suggesting that Instagram is to blame via the “influencers” that utilize social media to make massive monies. They spend money to travel to Iceland, to make stories, so they can take these stories take back home and make money off selling them via their social media accounts.

An investment in a future return

Now, I wonder where on EARTH people would get the crazy idea that controversial, radical, shocking, jarring and potentially offensive media would be a cash cow?

Certainly not just and only the CKY idiots
^CKY iceland_mission^

“The Cutting Edge” cares not about what it has already cut. It cares only about what it is cutting.

^CKY – “96 Quite Bitter Beings” (original music video before MTV edit)^

If you lived in a really great and cool looking place, but couldn’t do anything because everything is barred and/or banned, would that be considered…hell?

^SHPONGLE – Strange Planet (2017)^

If you sought to control anything and everything, how would you know when you had achieved your goal? Been seeing a lot of “globalist” types of stuff rearing its head recently, and I gotta wonder how in the hell you would know that you and yours were “in control”. We live in a pretty dynamic place that appears to be cyclical, not to mention that most dictatorial regimes throughout history are paranoid as FUCK.

Wait…maybe that’s it. When “the powers” get paranoid, they do so because think they are in complete control. Makes sense. Power is scary.

^SOULWAX – NY Excuse^

You think it possible to latch on to a static point in space within the confines of a planet’s atmosphere? Like detach yourself completely from the “earth dynamic(s)” by latching onto a certain something that most will likely say doesn’t exist/is an impossibility? Yeah, I don’t think that’s possible either. There’s nothing within close proximity to our planet that represents a static point in space which is opposed to other points in space. Of course, there are those Alpha Loops and Omega Gates. They kinda operate that way. Not saying they actually exist, but they might.

^Why Rockets Fail – Earth’s Rotation Leads to Explosion of The First Soyuz Rocket^

Q: Would you experiment on your own body?

A: !!!?!!!¿!!!

I mean, assuming you had a good reason to do so, and the time to do it in. Everything in your life lined up almost perfectly, the way seemed clear, is your own body the logical place to start? Or you think it best to outsource? Group study? Clinical trials?

Never can be too safe
^BOMBAY DUB ORCHESTRA – Monsoon malabar^

INCOMING SONG LYRICS!!!

(song/video follows)
“The Number Of The Beast”
Iron Maiden
“Woe to you, oh Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the beast with wrath
Because he knows the time is short…
Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast
For it is a human number
Its number is Six hundred and sixty six”
I left alone, my mind was blank.
I needed time to think, to get the memories from my mind
What did I see?
Can I believe that what I saw that night was real and not just fantasy
Just what I saw in my old dreams
Were they reflections of my warped mind staring back at me?
‘Cause in my dreams it’s always there
The evil face that twists my mind and brings me to despair
The night was black, was no use holding back
‘Cause I just had to see, was someone watching me
In the mist dark figures move and twist
Was all this for real, or just some kind of hell?
666 the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released
Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised
As they start to cry hands held to the sky
In the night the fires are burning bright
The ritual has begun, Satan’s work is done
666 the number of the beast
Sacrifice is going on tonight
This can’t go on, I must inform the law
Can this still be real or just some crazy dream?
But I feel drawn towards the chanting hordes
They seem to mesmerise…
Can’t avoid their eyes
666 the number of the beast
666 the one for you and me
I’m coming back
I will return
And I’ll possess your body and I’ll make you burn
I have the fire
I have the force
I have the power to make my evil take its course
Shocking

I am completely and totally shocked to my foundations…circa 1982.

^Iron Maiden – The Number Of The Beast (Official Video)^

Q: If I am sick, ill and/or in some kind of jeopardy, does that mean The Universe is sick, ill and/or in some kind of jeopardy as well?

A: ¿

Better be sure on the answer to that one…eh?

^jefferson airplane • go ask alice cover^

The topic of “kinetic sculptures” has come up recently. I’m wondering if the depictions in the video below qualify. Like, in the “virtual” sense. I guess it just got me to thinking about the generation of wind(s) in the “Archonic Realms”…if you will.

What blows what?

Who blows who?

^Bonobo : Cirrus [Official Video]^

cYacFa

^Digitalism – Digitalism In Cairo^

*******

Have a Song, Dear Reader…

*Phew! That was a close shave, Clicky…*

Missive From ‘Merica: Acid Test

*/lights up… You read my mind, Clicky… /drags… Be a love and post Cade’s missive for me… /streams smoke… I wanna read it as a Dear Reader… *

acid test 1.gif

*******

How many people do you know? I’ll wait while you think.

Now, how many of those people that you know, do you get actually along well with? I’ll again wait while you think.

How many people did you used to get along with, that you no longer get along with?

See where I'm going with this?

It’s likely, that you are a selfish fuck who only likes/gets along with people that serve your needs. Every single person on this planet was put here to serve you and your needs.

^Sisko Electrofanatik & T78 – Bon (Original Mix)^

OK…so…perhaps that was a bit strong. Just wondering if you ever wonder why people don’t like you. Why you have no friends. Why you can’t meet people or have trouble meeting people. Why you can’t keep friends. But I wasn’t wondering just and only that. Was thinking about how we meet, how we develop relationships, what pretenses we have for developing those relationships, and who gets to decide where these relationships go. My guess is, you play a 50% role in 100% of the success or failure of a relationship. That’s just a guess.

^Front 242 – Happiness (Dub Mix by Underworld)^

Have you ever noticed that in these “supernatural videos”, the ghosts or spirits or demons or poltergeists or whatever type of entity they are, will play havoc will electrical systems and/or electronic gizmos of all kinds…but for some odd reason…the cameras always keep right on rolling?

Weird
^Top 10 Poltergeists || LPE360^

Do you perform tricks on command?

Bark 

Right now…bark. Go on…

you can do it

Drop those inhibitions, and bark, out loud, right now. Bark, laugh, stand on one leg, then repeat that whole process for the next hour. Yeah, this is just me, but a complete stranger barging into your space and demanding that you perform specific tasks on command is an odd concept to ponder. I guess spirit has no rights. Better not die. Paybacks are prolly a bitch in the afterlife.

^Young the Giant: My Body [OFFICIAL VIDEO]^

Speaking of spirit…

Wonder (Emotion)

I miss wonder. Well, I think I don’t miss wonder as much as I wonder why I’m told to qualify any emotions that I have which lean towards awe, amazement or even just plain old excitement of being astonished. For example, according to my YouTube feed, Space-X has launched about 30 rockets this past week. Well, maybe not 30, but every damn day there is a live feed of some new Space-X launch. Should I feel bad about staring in amazement at what this group has accomplished just because there are those that think Elon Musk is some freaky futurist who is hell-bent on some kind of world domination? Why are you looking for tyrants? Doesn’t your being hell-bent on looking for tyrants, exposing tyrants for what they are, and eventually eliminating tyrants, make you yourself…a tyrant?

^Stromae – Alors On Danse (Clip Officiel)^

Things like this really gets me to wondering…

These “paranormal events” always seem to happen randomly with no provocation, then the investigators show up, and demand a repeat. Fair enough. It’s part of the scientific method after all.

Demonstrable AND repeatable = proof

But you know the problem with being a magician? You can know every trick in the book, but you are still just a one-trick pony. Anyone you encounter, who discovers that you are a magician? Can you guess what their first query is going to be? Yep…

”Do a trick” 

The next query will be…

”Do another one!”
^Kendall Schmidt and Logan Henderson – Next Step^

Most “paranormal investigators I’ve seen do this. After the first trick is performed, you ask for another…then another, and it goes on and on like that. After you conclude one “investigation”, you start another. Lots of purported haunted sites after all.

Q: Do you only investigate sites that you are invited to?

A: Doesn't that make you a vampire?

Of sorts.

^The Ting Tings – Shut Up and Let Me Go^

Wait…just…one…fucking…minute, and hold the fucking phone. I think I get it now. If you correctly/accurately locate and properly identify the Antichrist, that must mean that Jesus is right around the corner…right? Is that’s why these fucks label anyone and everyone as the Antichrist? Eventually, they’ll get it right, Jesus will show up shortly after, and you’re home free. That said, I wonder what Jesus is going to have to say about your shitty batting average(s)?

Q: Why is the Antichrist called “the” Antichrist?

A: It's not like Jesus is “The Jesus”.

Except in the movie The Big Lebowski…There’s a Jesus in there that is “The Jesus”.

^WoodKid – Run Boy Run (A Level Music Video)^

HEY! I learned a new “sync” definition recently. It’s when advertisers leech off of fine art in a particular ad in order to play on your subconscious whether you realize it or not. Or when scenes in certain movies emulate scenes depicted in some painting for the same reason(s) as advertisers. Sure, I’ve seen loads of stuff like this before, but I’d never before associated this and these types of recognition as…”syncs” or, “synchs” as I prefer to call them. Association(s) via distant, vague and/or wispy/foggy recognition methods. Like overlaying a not so clear something, with a very clear something that somewhat resembles the original.

Corvette (Disambiguation)
Corvair
Convair
Conaire
Conair
Con Air
Conor McGregor

We’re kinda used to similarities and deviations in language, but no so much with visual-only types of aspects. I mean, if you see a film that has a scene which reenacts a depiction of a famous painting, do you realize what you are seeing at the time? Do you know the painting? If so, do you like it? Do you hate it? More than that, if you are unfamiliar with the painting, and see it after you see this movie, does how you felt about the movie affect how you feel now about the painting?

Q: Did you know that the main melody from this next song is actually a sample from the Goldfinger soundtrack?

A: ?¿?

Welp, if you didn’t before, you do now.

^Sneaker Pimps – 6 Underground – Official Video [HD]^

For those of you into this kind of thing, did you know that Christopher Walken’s character in the movie Joe Dirt was called “Gert B. Frobe”? Did you know that “Gert Fröbe” is a real person? I did, but I never made that connection before. Not before now anyway. Watched the movie Goldfinger the other night, and it struck me that the actor playing Goldfinger also played Sgt. Coffee Pot in the movie The Longest Day, and I’ve seen them in a bunch of other movies, so I looked them up. There is was… Gert Fröbe. At long last, that small bit from the movie Joe Dirt made sense.

Gert Fröbe
Goldfinger (Film)
The Longest Day (Film)
Joe Dirt

Yeah….I know…stupid trivia. Nothing but worthless and/or useless information, connected by the thinnest of threads.

The Devil Is In The Detail

Or maybe not

/me shrugs

^Learn Funny German Sayings/Proverbs^

We didn’t know each other, we met, we knew something of each other, and now…here we are.

Q: How’d we get here?

A: ???

Where are we? Who’s driving this fucker? Maybe when relationships become relationsips, we drown ourselves in not much of anything. Of course the flipside is, we learn things about people as we go, and there’s likely to be all kinds of shit lurking in that past that you’d rather was not there. Get rid of them, move on, problem solved. How’d all that old shit get dug up anyway. What is this, some kind of initiation process?

^Showtek – The F Track^

Your home is prolly loaded with all kinds of stuff and gadgets and all manner of things that are pleasing to you personally. But how can anyone compete with the likes of that? Should I have to compete with stuff like that? Are you looking to streamline? Wanting a mate so you can get rid of that automatic dishwasher? Fire your hired domestic servant and/or cleaning service? Am I rambling?

Yeah, I am

Just wondering what it is you are looking for. Because I can pretty much tell you, it isn’t here. Even if it is here, it won’t be here for long.

^Lunachicks – Heart Of Glass^

Let’s say that there are 8 billion humans on a certain planet, and you are lucky enough to have three close friends. That means that you are close friends with 0.000000000000375% of the humans on the planet. Well done. Now, let’s see how connected you really are to this planet and/or the life on it.

Humans share the planet with as many as 8.7 million different forms of life, according to what is being billed as the most accurate estimate yet of life on Earth.

Aug 23, 2011 – Source: Google – 27 April 2019

So…there are 8.7 million different forms of life on Earth/Terra, and you are friends with 0.000000000000375% of only 1 form of life. Tell me, how do you personally feel about other forms of life? Best buddies with roaches? Wasps? Ants? Sharks? Stray dogs? Armadillos? Flies? Treponema pallidum?

Yeah, I didn't think so

Your home is a pest-free zone, and you aim to keep that way. Damn…if you don’t mind me saying, you are one completely disconnected and totally fucked up individual. No wonder you are single.

^Headhunterz – Rock Civilization^

I wonder how wobbly things like pyramids would look if you could view them over very long spans of time. They’d likely not only be wobbly, but also bouncy and spinny. Maybe that’s why the outer coverings of the Pyramids of Giza have come off, and maybe the key to these pyramids rigidity and eventual longevity is actually because they are quite…

flexible

Like, over time and times, they roll with the punches, and accommodations were made for these flexions in the original construction. Hell, maybe that’s why the outer covering was added. Viewed through the right eyes over the right spans in time, there’s a lot you could learn about the planetary dynamics that affect certain structures or even certain areas where these structures are built. If one were so inclined anyway.

^Mr. Probz – Waves (Robin Schulz Remix Radio Edit)^

Was watching a documentary with a certain someone, and the subject of transubstantiation came up. I guess at the Council Of Trent, there were questions as to whether Jesus turned from God or spirit or whatever, into a human. The Catholics appear to have had a desire to know, and the Protestants just wanted to chalk it up to “mystery”, and move on.

Oil Lamp
Lychnorhiza Lucerna
Saponin
Tea saponins: effective natural surfactants beneficial for soil remediation, from preparation to application
Ephyra
Ephyrae
Strobilation
Jellyfish-Life Cycle
Aurelia Aurita

Did you know that the Moon Jellyfish is considered a pest/nuisance to “Sea Cucumber Aquaculture”, and that exposing Moon Jellyfish polyps to something called “tea saponin” causes the young jellyfish to shrivel up and die?

I can almost see the look on your face

You are likely wondering what in the flying FUCK transubstantiation has to do with the price of tea saponin on a Sea Cucumber farm.

Q: Is there ever anything that appears in your life which prevents you from becoming what it is that you should be?

A: ¿?¿

Yeah…me too. All the fucking time. Sailing along, fair seas, everything is great, then suddenly….BAM!!! Some new variable is plopped into the pot.

^BASTILLE-THINGS WE LOST IN THE FIRE [ OFFICIAL VIDEO+LYRICS] [HQ-HD]^

If you stupid fucks keep shooting up Sin-O-Gogs and other places of worship/fellowship, no one is going to be able to visit one without a goddamn membership card. Oh wait…maybe that’s what you want. Membership cards means approval processes. Approval processes mean overhead. Overhead means overheads. Overhead and overheads means revenues. Revenue(s) means CHA CHING!!!

^Mad T.V Blink-182 Skit^

Speaking of revenue(s), I’ve been thinking about starting a Patreon account or whatever it is. Just keep doing what I do, cept start a Patreon account to where people could donate a dollar here and there if they wanted. I mean, for a guy like me, even if I only made $10/$20 a month? That’s $10/$20 more than I make now. God knows my searches for a more or less normal job have been unfruitful. Why no one wants to hire a broken and gimpy old dude is beyond me.

^Shut Up and Dance – WALK THE MOON^

X: This one is rather acerbic, don’t you think?

Cade: Kiss my ass.

X: See? Nothing but bitterness and hatred.

Cade: You don’t think that any reader might have picked up on my firing that particular shot at you simply for effect?

X: Might be dangerous to assume what the reader thinks/doesn’t think.

Cade: That’s why I tend not to do it.

X: What do you usually do.

Cade: Roll.

0: Can I interject?

Cade: Can I stop you from doing so?

0: Not really, no.

Cade: Fire away.

0: I forgot what I was going to ask.

Cade: I’ve been having that problem a lot lately.

K: Forgetting things are you?

Cade: Hello there. Long time no see. And yes, forgetting all kinds of things.

K: Are you worried?

Cade: Not really. It’s not like I can do anything about it.

K: Have you looked into supplements? They are making some amazing things these days.

Cade: Their claims are amazing. Not so sure about what their products deliver other than some amazing profits to them.

K: What’s wrong with prophets?

Cade: I dunno. Sure seem to be a lot of them tho.

K: You think there is a correlation to be made with respect to the appearance of prophets and profits?

Cade: Someone’s got to bang the drum if there are to be any revenue streams that eventually result in some profits.

K: I’ve got a tiger by the tail.

Cade: Don’t I know it.

0: Do you really think that any reader is going to know what the hell any of that means?

Cade: I don’t know what it means.

K: Oh yes you do.

Cade: I really don’t. Everything has to have an answered “why” attached in order for anything to have any meaning.

K: Care to elaborate?

Cade: Anyone reading this, would want to know both who you are, and why you are talking to me.

K: Is the letter “K” indicative of who I am?

Cade: Sorta. But you fucks are kinda cagey.

K: You think anyone reading this would know what कुण्डलिनी means?

Cade: They could prolly copy/paste that into a search engine and get some indications.

K: Is that who I am?

Cade: No idea.

X: Expansive question.

Cade: It is indeed a very expansive question. I’ve got to elaborate and come up with a bunch of questions of my own, and then answer them.

K: And you have no answers.

Cade: That is correct…I have no answers.

K: I’ve got my eye on you boy.

Cade: Making a private conversation public is a difficult concept to wrestle with.

K: People do it all the time.

Cade: Yeah…after the fact. Usually when circumstance has changed and/or it’s beneficial for one, and detrimental to another.

K: You really weigh such things?

Cade: Sure. I’m not the only individual on this planet.

K: Lot’s of life in The Universe.

Cade: So it would appear.

K: Catch you later.

Cade: lolz

K: …

Learning how to express one’s thoughts is difficult. How to express yourself, when it is proper to express yourself, why you are expressing yourself. It’s a difficult proposition. Maybe that’s why “the gods”, if they exist, seem so erratic. So flighty and irregular. But that’s how relationships go I guess. Periodic interactions, many of which seem to have little to no meaning at the time of occurrence. But to be fair, you don’t want to smother those that you care about…

right?
^Mezdeke – Shik Shak Shok^

If you know the answer(s), then why are you asking me? The only thing that I can come up with, is that you aren’t looking for answers, as much as you are seeking data to shore up your own beliefs in the answers you already possess. Tests. You are testing your position.

Fair enough

Good luck.

^Fionnuala Gill – Deus Meus (Adiuva Me)^

Today’s playlist has some interesting shit in it, yeah?

^Cafe Shahor Hazak ft Nechi Nech – ihiye beseder//פה שחור חזק מארחים את נצי נצ‘ – יהיה בסדר^

Wait…what’s that? You didn’t realize that the music I use in posts comes from randomly generated playlists on YouTube, and I post whatever song I’m listening to at the time?

*I did wonder, Clicky…*

Welp, for the most part, that’s exactly what happens. Yes, I sometimes post music that I have selected for some reason. Usually because a song pops into my head as I’m writing about a certain something. But most of the time?

Yep...completely random

Same with the images. Strange way to write, eh? Welp, I personally am not trying to wrestle the elements and elementals to the ground in order to get them to do my bidding. I don’t want to be led around by the nose, but sometimes, that’s prolly exactly what happens. As to when I am in control of my own life, and when I am not? No idea. You seem to be a better judge at that than I. And yes…I specifically selected this song below, because it’s been bouncing around in my head for several weeks now, and thanks to the Joe Dirt Wikipedia article I noticed that it appears on the movie’s soundtrack. Enjoy.

And yeah, you are a roller baby

rawr

^April Wine – Roller (Official Music Video)^

I am going to go ahead and let you know, that why exactly it is that I’m suddenly changing gears and posting some of Blink 182’s crap is none of your fucking business. But, I’m a nice guy. I’ll tell you if you ask.

😛

And to answer what I perceive to be a roundabout question, and to answer that roundabout question in a roundabout way, yes, I was aware that the drummer from Blink 182 was in a plane crash, was badly burned/was pretty lucky to have survived. Everyone else died.

😦

Well, one dude died later, but yeah, everyone on that plane died all the way to full-on dead.

^Steve Aoki – Why Are We So Broken feat. Blink 182 (Official Video) [Ultra Music]^

Got a parting query…

Q: If you are afraid of death, doesn’t that mean that you are also afraid of life?

A: !!!?!!!

Gotta be alive to be able to fear death, and if you fear death, that means you likely fear life.

If you’re dead, you no longer need fear death, and you can’t fear death even if you wanted to, because you’re dead.

Mystery = SOLVED BY DEATH! OR LIFE! OR WHATEVER! Next?
^The Script – Hall of Fame (Official Video) ft. will.i.am^

Just wondering if it’s a good idea to spend you life fearing death.

I wonder who could possibly want you to spend your life fearing death.

Who would encourage you to fear death.

I’m guessing, that anyone needing a cuddle, might encourage you along the lines of fearing this or that.

Not suggesting that you abandon reason, nor that you ignore wisdom.

Just wondering aloud.

^Jesse McCartney ~ Right Where you Want me^

cYacFa

^blink-182 – Down^

*******

acid test 2

*Looks lush, Clicky… /pats snout… I know! Finish with the ‘I said’ song…*

Missive From ‘Merica: From the Edge

Missive Time, Dear Reader! I challenged the Okie Devil of Text US to send a postcard…

*Cade… /squints… You must know, Clicky…*

*Oh, you were pulling my Leg…*

*******

25b4ab7631322ece54df907f5ccce0e1

You are reading this sentence.

You have read that sentence.

You have read the previous two sentences, and are now reading this.

I can see why some people hate my writing.

I certainly give plenty of reasons.
Let’s keep at it.
^Pan-Pot – Weltlinie^

original

My kids went to a Superbowl party yesterday. Just asked my youngest who won, and he said…

”The Patriots. No wait, the…um…no, yeah, the Patriots.”

I’m guessing that one of the two teams had a fair shot at being the victor, and I guess someone, the game’s MVP, is going to Disneyland. Speaking of that, a certain someone passed along a link to a YT video where the Superbowl is being declared as…a Satanic Ritual!!!

Now, I don’t mean to get off on a rant here, but this sounds vaguely…familiar. Lots of people I’ve bumped into over the past few years have talked about the ritualistic nature of events, and especially, sporting events. Not going to mention any names, but yeah, there seems to be a fascination in certain realms with those who have a fascination with events. Almost sounds like watchers watching watchers kind of thing.

Digress to the realm of digrestishness.
^Boston 168 – Oblivion [ODDEVEN004]^

Dial 911, and I come running. The video is below, and if you take the time to read the description, you’ll notice that it uses enough catchy vernaculars to choke a horse. That immediately makes me personally…skeptical.

Skeptical about the content. 

Yes, I actually watched this video all the way through. It pretty much contains the same old crap of manufacturing synchronicities and/or syncs or whatever, and they do this by taking images and juxtaposing them to suit the video creator’s needs. Not saying that stuff like this isn’t sometimes shocking or jarring, because it is. But that’s kinda the deal with seeing things for the first time. Meaning: we wonder as to the meaning; we stand (or sit) with mouth agape, and wonder as to the purpose.

Is this chance?

Is this fate?

Why did I find this?

The short answer is, because you were looking for it. The long answer is, well, that’s your own path.

You'll find it....whatever it is.
^deadmau5 “Soma”^

“The Blood of Jesus” is very important in this video. So are shapes and symbolism, and how Satanists uses symbolism to achieve their purposes or whatever. Ironic that the creators of this video also use symbolism to forward their own agendas. Not only that, they use the very same symbolism. Makes we wonder which side you are really on. But while watching the video, and listen to their “Christian” blah blah blah, all I could think about, was…

…but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him.

John 8: v 1-9 (ESV)

You gonna accuse Jesus of being Satanic for scribbling in the dirt?

Yeah, I didn't think so. 

Anyway, here’s the video if you have 13 minutes and 57 seconds to waste. 

^Satanic Ritual Bowl 53. Serpent Eyes Tree of Life. 69. Dragon of Babylon! 911^

giphy

As Roob has stated in her previous article, me and her watched Lord Of The Rings over the weekend. Yeah, all three of the fuckers.

The extended versions. 

What a journey that must have been. No…not the viewing by us over the weekend…the movie making process itself. I have no idea how long the process was, but it must have been long. Prolly a lot of people thrown together who had never met each other, possibly some long-term and lasting friendships created.

Q: Ever notice the views on a YT video, and you go back and watch the same video later, and the video has less views than it did the first time you watched it?

A: ???

Prolly has something to do with YouTube auditing and pruning views from click-farms or other nefarious revenue-generating streams. What’s that? You weren’t aware there was such a thing as click farms?

Click Farm

Click Fraud

You may also not have known that YT and other providers audit stats, but they do. What does YT video views/auditing, people meeting on a movie set, and click farms have to do with me and Roob watching the LOTR trilogy over the weekend?

MSM, baby. Networking.
^Regal – Fenix (Amelie Lens Remix) [INV020]^

If you want to watch people walk great distances in slow-motion, all while rehashing the same old arguments over and over, then LOTR is for you.

Stereotypes and archetypes. 

Holding on to the same old grudges, and doing the right thing anyway. The films definitely give you a lot of time to ponder the concepts addressed. That is, if you can stand the constant drone of the music trying to guide and direct your emotions. And the music in these films certainly does that. Almost as if the music is added simply to let you know how you should be feeling about a particular scene or set of events or whatever. It almost follows that soft-loud-soft principle that has become such a feature in contemporary/modern pop music.

Dynamics (Music)
Loudness
Frequency Response
Envelope (Music) (Redirected from ADSR envelope)
Attack
Decay
Sustain
Release

You think that certain people in certain groups/streams or whatever would use certain principles of warfare in an otherwise unrelated field or venue? Maybe even use musical principles as a tool of warfare? Prolly a stretch to think that someone would violate the sanctity and purity of something so wonderful as music, but to be fair, not everyone likes music. Lots of war, wars, battle/combat in this movie. Maybe music and warfare go together like bread and butter. Gollum hated bread for some reason tho.

Weird little fucker.
 ^FJAAK – The Tube [INVOLVE]^

giphy-1

Ever feel a weird pinch when moving a certain way? Like, just under the skin. You remove a heavy dish from the oven, and suddenly, there is this weird burning/tearing kind of feeling in the skin of your fingers and/or hand because of how you are holding the dish?

Ergonomics. 

How often do you remove heavy food-laden dishes from an oven? Your main concerns are not getting burned while simultaneously not dropping the dish. Suddenly, there’s this weird pain that threatens you with both. Not to mention, you are left puzzled as to exactly what this pain was, and what was causing it. You get dismissive. You were holding the dish wrong. It was your fault. Ignore it, and make a note to hold dishes differently in the future when removing them from the oven.

^Pan-Pot – White Fiction^

That’s how easy mistakes are to make. You spot a minor irritation, and you make corrective action(s) that allow you to keep finding more and more ways to do things wrong. I’m not damning your ability to overcome obstacles, I’m simply trying to illustrate where things sometimes maybe start to go wrong. You’ll wind up down the road with some mobility threatening disability, and you will start to wonder where it all started.

You’ll look for “the big stuff” first. “Major” injures and traumas. Slips, falls, accidents of any kind that you can attribute to the disability so that insurance can get their socialistic heads wrapped around where to collate you and your ailment. They ain’t gonna pay for it otherwise.

Not that I’ve been down that road or anything, and not that I still travel it now. Just trying to maybe pass along, that yeah, I’m still working on it, and maybe you can help me out by making some mental notes about the things that you normally might think of as being dismissible and/or negligible. Especially those things that you move to the “welp, that’s just part of getting old” pile of excuses.

Sorry, that's not good enough for me.
^Setaoc Mass – True Lies [SK11006]^
giphy-2!!!11!11!!!FUCK!!!11!11!!!

I’m supposed to be writing a postcard. Limeys hate postcards, and they hate German postcards even more. So let’s us see what an Okie can come up with for Limeys to hate on.

Hrrrmmmm. 

Where should I start? I KNOW!!! Don’t postcards have like a standard? Like, postcards have to be of a certain exact set of dimensions in order to be qualified as a postcard?

Postcard Sizes

AH AH!!!!!! There’s mention of “Old British Postcard Sizes” on that article. THAT’S where this hate comes from!!! Goddamn Limeys think they have a monopoly on postcards. Buncha uppity fucks. Let’s see if we can find what the history is.

Postcard

Kitsch

Them’s some strong words coming from 1921. Wasn’t the war well over by then? Weren’t England and Germany supposed to be making nice? Being friends? I guess victory is sometimes as bitter a pill as defeat. I know it sure seems to be that way with Brexit. But what’s that bit about German women being plain? I’ve known a few German women, and they sure as shit didn’t seem “plain” to me. So what in the fuck are these knuckleheads talking about?

^deadmau5 / Faxing Berlin (Original Mix) [full version]^

It seems to be the job of Limeys to be grumpy and/or have a generally bad disposition. Germans tend to be be similarly classified. So what in the fuck is going on with this almost 100 year old battle over the postal systems and their products and services?

Kitsch
Kitschy
Kitschiness
Kitschy
Kitsch
Corny
Kitch
Kitchen
Scheiße
Shit
Corn
Peanuts
Peanut
Bantu
Bantu Peoples
Bantu Languages
A6
Grumman A-6 Intruder
Flight Of The Intruder (Novel)
Rhodopsin-Like Receptors
ISO 216
ISO 9000
Shinola

Ah. Basically, this is some kind of North Sea nonsense as to what is/is not, shit. I would imagine that the principle argument that Limeys have would be any subjective annotations that are made on the postcards themselves. Like, a picture postcard of Buckingham Palace, where the accompanying description says something like

“This is the building where the King and/or Queen of England do most of their fucking and shitting.”

Not that anyone would ever do such a thing.
^deadmau5 / Orca [full version]^

giphy-3 

Speaking of the post and postal systems, me and Roob watched this film called Going Postal the other day.

Going Postal

My first introduction to both Terry Pratchet and his Discworld universe. Yeah, Roob quotes him all the time, and I can kinda follow because it’s usually a contextual reference to whatever is being talked about, but I’ve never read any of his stuff before. It was an interesting tale to be sure.

A fun watch. 

Pretty straightforward, with just enough weirdness to make the tale pretty goddamn strange, and leaves a lot to the imagination as to who these players really are. The acting was great, and, it had Charles Dance in it. Did you know that there is a famous TV fisherman over here in the USA called Bill Dance? And yes, we here in the US actually have outdoor shows where we watch people out hunting and fishing.

^Wehbba – Catarse [DC192]^

A certain someone just passed this along.

Which Category Do You Identify/define Yourself?

On a related note, a week or so ago, someone I talk to on Twitter passed this along to me…

Birth Chart

I went through the whole thing, and the best that I could come up with, was they basically called me a queer. Not completely mind you. It said I was about 9/10ths nelly fag, and the remaining 1/10th was, and I quote…

”not completely homo, but still pretty fucking gay”

OK, so, no, it called me none of that. BUT!!! It did say that I was overwhelmingly feminine. I registered like “8” out of 10 on the gaydar. I guess I might take offense to that if I was “a man’s man” or “macho dude” or whatever, but I’m not. Yes, I like to hunt and fish, but I also like to camp…

*No, Clicky, he means with tents and things…*

*/facepalm… Never mind…*

That means I like the whole process. I don’t want to simply catch the fish, I want to clean it, cook it, eat some myself, and maybe have a person or two or more around the table with me. That means I want to make my own coleslaw and hushpuppies…

giphy-4

*Not a typo, Clicky…/shrugs… I thought hushpuppies were shoes…*

I want to do the dishes afterwards. Dunno why being good in the kitchen makes me queer, but whatever. I can eat well under the right circumstances, and do so with little to no assistance. Prolly will do an entire blog post over at my own place on these astrology results. Might be fun.

Sure is a shitload of data to contemplate.
^Amelie Lens – Drift^

giphy-5 

There was something else I was wanting to talk about, but I can’t recall what it was. Anyway, I’ve already got four posts sitting in my drafts folder over at my own blog, so I guess I’ll go work on those. Hope your week is a good one, and keep an eye on that negligible shit…k? Just be mindful of it. Your body is speaking to you…

listen.

The conversation, is what it is. I guess “that” is, whatever you make of it. And no, I’m not trying to ambiguous, evasive, cryptic or mysterious. Just trying to relate that maybe sometimes the most confusing and incomprehensible of conversations are those that ultimately have the most meaning.

We know, when we know, and not before. 

To relate, do you know what it would sound like if I asked you 100 questions at the same time? And yeah, I mean, 100 different and independent questions, and asked them all at the same time. Would you be able to answer them all in a single answer? Would that single answer encompass 100 independent, specific and succinct answers to my 100 questions?

K, now think about what you are asking of your body at a given time. Like that little pinch we talked about earlier. You wanna know why it is happening? You want answers? Welp, you basically are going to be asking a whole lot of questions of that pinch and your body, and you’re going to do it all at once. The nature of nesting and embedding, and the nature of time and times. Of course, you could just ask for a miracle and be done with it. But whatever you do, that’s your choice.

Good luck.
^Leftwing & Kody – What You Sayin^

giphy-6 

cYacFa

^Gary Beck – Say What (Adam Beyer Remix) [SAVED RECORDS]^

*******

*Well yeah, of course there are Hush Puppy boots, Clicky, but that’s not what Cade meant, either… /shakes head… And get a Song…*

 

Time Lard of the Smoke Rings…

This shamble, Dear Reader, starts on Friday evening with the decision taken, with my good friend Cade, to remote view ‘Lord of the Rings’ together…

*Yes… /lights up… the extended versions, Clicky… /drags… two down, one to go…*

… and a separate Twitter convo – also with Cade – that was started by Legs…

Legs Cade and Roob Friday Convo 1

*/streams smoke… You couldn’t resist, could you, Clicky? …/wipes lips… You know Hugo has a preference for lollipops over jelly babies…*

… ‘Twas Cade that mentioned ‘lard’…

Legs Cade and Roob Friday Convo 1

*/puffs contentedly…*

‘In an unusual warning, doctors have reported the case of a man who injected cocaine into his urethra to heighten sexual pleasure and then, through ”extravagant complications,” suffered gangrene that led to the loss of both legs, nine fingers and his penis.

Legs Cade and Roob Friday Convo 2Legs Cade and Roob Friday Convo 4

*I know! …/plays with lighter… Hugo brought the Max Headroom Doctor Who incident to my attention ages ago…*

Legs Cade and Roob Friday Convo 3

*/flicks ash… One of Cade’s earlier blog efforts, Clicky… /drags… *

… Then on Saturday morning, Dear Reader, I read a hilarious post about a ‘slush pile’…

Cade and Roob Saturday Convo 1

*/blows smoke ring… I wonder if he read it yet? …/blows smoke ring… Weird, the meaning behind ‘slush fund’, Clicky… /blows smoke ring… It’s all very porky… /licks lips…*

… And that might of been that for rendered fat and ships syncs, you might think, Dear Reader, except for my Twitter feed this afternoon…

*And the other one, Clicky…*

*/laughs like a drain and stubs butt…*

Have a Song, Dear Reader 😉

Chinese Whispers

abdstreamssmoke

*Adora Belle Dearheart from the last post, Clicky… /lights up… I really did enjoy remote viewing ‘Going Postal’ with Cade this week… /drags…*

‘As is obvious from Moist’s nickname for her, “Spike”, she isn’t that adorable, nor is she a ‘dearheart’.’

abdspikes

*/winces… Okay, okay I’ll get on with it. Sheesh…*

Not sure if you’re aware, Dear Reader, but on the 4th of February, in a couple of days time, the Chinese Year of the (Earth) Dog comes to an end…

… And the Year of the (Earth) Pig begins the very next day…

*Indeed, the female, Earth pig, Clicky… /smokes… Pug to pig, nicely done. A game! My turn… /pats snout…*

‘According to the Chinese Horoscope theory, Female Earth is connected to the farmland. Pig mainly contains Male Water with Male Wood. Male Water is river and Male Wood is tall tree or wooden boat. The sign of 2019 Female Earth Pig year is a river flows over the farmland. It might cause flooding.’

fountainspeak

*/flicks ash… Aha! That’s 2-2… /sucks teeth… Well Lashy does say the Aeon Sophia has a wicked sense of humour… /final drag… *

gpunderdog

*Underdog Anthology VIII: Mo’ Biomass Strip will be out in the spring, Clicky… /stubs butt… I suppose I could write a story about a diamond pig…*

*/gulps… Yikes!*

Enjoy the Chinese New Year festivities this weekend, Dear Reader… And have a Song ❤

*You win, Clicky… /rolls eyes…*

 

 

Adventures in Proof Reading…

I’m spending the day proofreading, Dear Reader. A final read through of Leggy’s novel, ‘Norman’s House’, intended for release next month…

garyk30 calcs on a fagbox

*Aw fanks Clicky… /slides out cigarette… You put Garyk30’s comment on the box? …/flicks lighter… Fink it’s meant to go on the back, luv… /drags… Still it looks miles better than before… /plumes smoke…*

… And I experienced a sync earlier when I stopped to make myself a sammich because I was feeling a bit peckish. Ham, pickled onions and mayo if you must know…

*Royalty? …/squints… Castles…*

roob relates a castle sync on merovee

*/drags… Play the Song, Clicky… /blows smoke rings…*

‘He forgot all about Mandy and Norman as he stared at the expanse of grass. The sun had set behind the surrounding buildings, but there was still enough light to see the garden. All of the grass had been cut, and raked into neat piles. A faint promise of new green showed through the yellow stalks. The patches of shrubbery were still wild, although even they seemed more controlled than they had on his last visit.’

Norman’s House by H.K. Hillman – to be published February 2019

frank posts phoenix cluster to roob sync 31

*/flicks ash… I’d been looking up furty one after seeing GaryK30’s calculation, Clicky… /deep drag… Come to fink of it… /holds smoke… Phenex was in ‘Jessica’s Trap’… /streams smoke… A fantastic read…*

… Royal castles, whispering grass and a rough calculation came together to sync with a gardener in a novel that I’m currently proof reading…

The Thirty-first Spirit is Foras. He is a Mighty President, and appeareth in the Form of a Strong Man in Human Shape. He can give the understanding to Men how they may know the Virtues of all Herbs and Precious Stones. He teacheth the Arts of Logic and Ethics in all their parts. If desired he maketh men invisible, and to live long, and to be eloquent. He can discover Treasures and recover things Lost. He ruleth over 29 Legions of Spirits, and his Seal is this, which wear thou, etc.’

— S. L. MacGregor Mathers (1904)

normans house front cover

*/stubs butt… Coming soon, Clicky. Ooh… /rubs gut… Get a Song, I’m gonna… /farts loudly… That’ll be the pickled onions working…*

Enjoy your weekend, Dear Reader… And have a Song 😉

Story Time: A Goohuul

If you found our first Halloween offering quite tricky, Dear Reader, this next story is something of a treat. It’s by my good friend, Cade the Okie Devil from Text US, and appears in ‘Underdog Anthology VI: The Gallows Stone’…

pumpkin treat

*Faught you’d perk up for that, Clicky… /flicks ash…*

Dear Reader… Enjoy! ❤

*******

A Goohuul

by Cade F.O.N Apollyon

Yarnip County Texas is likely the strangest county in the entire state. It appears on no maps. It does not appear on nor in any registry. There is no county-seat, as there are no towns. It has no courthouses. No sheriff. No police departments. No fire departments. No hospitals nor clinics. In fact, except for the ice-skating rink in the southeast corner of the county that sometimes doubles as a roller-rink, Yarnip County Texas has no real infrastructure to speak of at all. There are plenty of roads that lead to and through Yarnip County, but not a single crossroads in it’s length and breadth. There is only one permanent resident, and yet, at certain times of the year…Yarnip County Texas has the largest population in the entire Universe.

I know, I know…you are thinking that I’m telling some tall-tale in order to spin some investment opportunity or encourage tourism. But if you take a minute to actually ponder the merits of your own skepticism, why would I even need to encourage tourism to a location that is already, at times, the most populous place in the entire Universe? Yes, I am the guy that actually lives there. But I’ve already got so much money I could never spend it, and I’ve also got so many trinkets and gifts from visitors, that were I to sell them all, I’d pretty much have all the money on the entire planet. Plus, I don’t sell any of the gifts that are given me, nor do I sell any of the trinkets that I find. And believe you me, with all the traffic we get here, there is plenty of stuff left behind.

So you are likely wondering if I am a junk collector who is trying to sell off his collection. No. I’m the owner/operator of an ice-skating rink that sometimes doubles as a roller-rink. Junk collecting is more of a hobby that doubles as my attempt at being a responsible citizen due to the amount of flotsam and jetsam that this county accumulates during the course of the year.

Let me give you an example of what I am talking about. If someone passes through on a weekend trip, and accidentally leaves their Blarrchuck Moopeen Grinder, or a pair of Mastelline Vipps? They are going to come looking for it/them. I once found the entire Senate Building for The Realm of Cipotci, but I wasn’t aware of it at the time. I took it home, put it on my dresser, and even contemplated cutting a hole in the top to use as a change bank, although I never did. Good thing that I didn’t, because the Ipo of Cipotsi herself came looking for the building, and it turns out that the entire Senate was actually still inside the building and in-session. Just a misunderstanding that quasi-cascaded into a comedy of errors because of some chance encounters. The Ipo was very gracious though in the end, and she’s now aware of both me and the fact that I lurk and roam these parts with mostly the best of intentions. That said, the particulars about how the Senate Building from The Realm of Cipotsi wound up in Yarnip County Texas is a story for another time.

You’ve likely guessed by now that I am the founder of Yarnip County Texas. Well, technically, you’d be wrong. I only gave it the name. Yarnip County Texas is actually as old as The Universe itself, and I’m just a newcomer that just so happened to be paying attention at just the wrong time, in exactly the wrong place. But those unfortunate events inspired me to eventually give my home a name, Yarnip County. I even gave it a slogan; “Always Passin’ Thru!” But I’m not really here to talk about that, nor even about myself, as much as I am to talk about one particular event that happened about ten years ago. It’s something that is on my mind daily, and I try diligently to neither suppress nor recall that and those events. For the most part, I just sorta try and let the memories be what they are, and go on about my life as best I can.

She introduced herself as Abbey Attrix. I was pretty sure from the start that this was not her “real” name, but it didn’t really matter to me one way or the other. She told me that she had some friends that were meeting her here in a few hours, and wanted to know if she could rent the rink and skate alone until they arrived. I asked her for how long, she glanced at what I assumed was her watch, and told me that she could pay me $50 and would also let me have her watch if I would let her have the rink for two hours. She held up her arm, and around her wrist was one of the most unusual watches I’d ever seen. It had only one hand, a minute hand, and two digital readouts; one for the hours, and one for the seconds. It had a deep red face that seemed to be surrounded by some kind of internal light source that was a combination of blue and red that cycled somehow…it appeared very expensive.

Let me state that it’s not unusual to have individuals show up alone and want to rent the rink for themselves, nor do I personally think that it’s particularly strange when someone wants to rent the rink alone. Afterall, I built the rink for myself so that I could be alone and skate alone, so it’s really no surprise to me that others also seek solitude on the ice. However, when I looked into her face and into her eyes, I perceived there was a distance between us that I could never plumb. I could make all of the observations and conjectures that I wanted, but time itself seemed to be slipping away before me, and I could tell by her occasional glances out toward the rink that she just wanted to get onto the ice. She’d been running from something, but that running was about to cease.

I told her that she could keep her watch, and that $40 would do for two hours as I had nothing scheduled and was unlikely to have any chance renters pop in other than herself. She agreed, retrieved two twenty dollar bills from her bag which she then handed to me, and I asked her what size skate she wore. She told me her size, I went and retrieved a pair of ice skates in her size, returned and gave them to her, then I retreated to the DJ booth to put on some music. By the time I had arrived at the DJ booth, she had already put on her skates and was headed for the ice. I grabbed the microphone and asked her if she had any preferences, but she just smiled and shook her head no, leaving the musical selections up to me. Her hair was very short, and until she smiled at me, I hadn’t noticed just how beautiful she was. I’m a professional afterall; I’m here to operate an ice-skating rink, not pick up chicks.

Abbey had already began to skate a bit, and I could already tell that she knew how to skate as I pressed play on the CD player…

“The whispers, in the moment…of lovers sleeping tight…”

No sooner had Celine Dion finished breathing the first line of The Power Of Love, that I looked out to the ice, and saw Abbey slide to a ice crystal spraying stop, put her hands on her hips and look down her nose at me in mock-contempt as she smiled. I couldn’t help but smile back and laugh a little as she stood there, smiling and tapping the toe of her ice skate the way a mother might. I immediately hit the stop button on the CD player, glanced up and noticed that she was still tapping her foot as I rummaged quickly through the CD’s to find a different song. I admit that I noticed that the Jennifer Rush version of this same song was handy, and I contemplated putting it in the CD player as an attempt at being funny, but this was Abbey’s time. She paid for it, so I decided to hit her with a musical blindside instead, put in a new CD, and pressed play.

“As loud as hell, a ringing bell

Behind my smile, it shakes my teeth

And all the while, as vampires feed

I bleed

I bleed

I bleed

Abbey had started skating again, and I could see her doing the “head-bob” in an approving manner before Black Francis and Kim Deal of The Pixies even began to sing. And that’s how our relationship went on that cold and lonely October evening. Two hours of back and forth without a word between us. She’d slouch her shoulders while rolling her head back in disgust if I played something she didn’t like, and she’d smile, bob her head, and keep skating if I played something that she did. I must admit that I was quite surprised at the varieties of music that she did and didn’t like, and a few times she even gave me a look of surprise that an old fart like myself would know that the song I was playing even existed.

“I’m bigger than that.

Can you tango, can you mango,

mix n mangle, can you flow?

Let me angle more my kangol,

Are you single, can you go?

I’m bigger than that.

Format B’s remix of Skeleton Key by Pleasurecraft & Green Velvet boomed on the speakers as Abbey continued to zoom around the rink while grinning a smile that couldn’t be purchased for any amount of money, and I’d been enjoying the time so much myself that I simply hadn’t noticed that we had already run about fifteen minutes over time…but that’s when the power to the rink went out.

I immediately reached for the small flashlight next to the DJ mixer, and yelled to Abbey to stay where she was until I could get some light, but the flashlight didn’t work. I found this extremely odd since I knew for a fact that the batteries had been changed only recently. The music had been so loud for so long, that I simply had not noticed that the wind had picked up as the sun had gone down. But as my hearing slowly returned, it became quickly attuned to the fact that the wind was indeed blowing quite viciously outside, and assumed that the wind was likely the cause for the power outage.

Probably less than a minute had transpired when my eyes adjusted enough to notice that the watch Abbey had tried to barter with was still glowing around her wrist, and as I looked around and surveyed the rest of the rink, I noticed that this was the only source of light in the rink. None of the emergency exit signs were working, which was odd considering that they were battery powered in a power outage, but even more strange was the fact that not even the luminous paint on the walls was glowing. If ever a person who loved Halloween wanted to be somewhere extra-spooky on Halloween night, Yarnip County Texas was suddenly the place to be.

I recall trying to keep my cool since I was the owner/operator of this place, and ultimately responsible for the safety and well being of my one and only paying patron, and luckily Abbey had worked her way over to the DJ booth by the time that I started getting a shade rattled. Without saying a word, she took the watch off of her wrist and laid it on the table next to me since it appeared that she had also noticed that her watch was the only source of light in the entire place. From the cycling purple-ish glow of the red and blue lights in the watch, I could barely make out the outline of her face and noticed that she was smiling. A large closed-mouth grin that made her eyes sparkle somewhat, but there was what seemed to be a hint of sadness in her eyes. To tell the truth, I don’t know if it was sadness or joy or what it was that I saw in there. After a moment of looking at each other, and just prior to me realizing that my gawping was about to become uncomfortable, she said “My friends are here.”

That’s when all hell broke loose.

The entire building and everything in it moved as if it had just had the ground removed beneath it, and I felt that sudden quasi-sickening feeling in my stomach as if someone or something that was only previously holding me up had suddenly dropped me or given way. I knew it wasn’t just and only me, as the entire building shook as it came crashing down shortly after starting to fall. Judging by the way that my knees buckled, it felt as though the entirety of the building had just dropped about one foot, and it’s unlikely that there was a single object in the entire building that didn’t make some kind of noise. My immediate concern was for Abbey who was standing on the ice in skates in front of the DJ booth. But as metal and glass found their new equilibrium amid much clanging, shattering and crashing, I noticed that I could no longer see her face and assumed that she had fallen in the chaos.

The glow of the watch provided me with my only bearings, and I quickly grabbed it and held it out over the ice from the DJ booth’s lofty position…no Abbey. My heart, weakened in its pulse somewhat from the fear, pounded a first ‘BOOM!’ of approval as my being shifted from the fear of cower to the cape of crusader. I knew it was foolhardy, but I sprang over the counter of the DJ booth onto the ice of the rink without hesitation, and luckily my somewhat aged ankles held as my feet found their footing on the ice of the rink. The soles of my shoes had hardly touched the ice when the power came back on, and it scared the living shit out of me. Deamau5 immediately began blaring on the sound system since I had just put a new song on prior to the power going out, and I quickly looked around and surveyed everywhere, but Abbey was nowhere to be seen. I yelled her name as loud as I could…no response. I reached up and around to hit stop on the CD player, but the song kept playing. In frustration, I reached for the volume sliders, but when I moved them down, no change. I admit that a flush of rage came over me as I looked around at the damage of the place, and contemplated ripping the power cables out of the wall for the whole fucking mess, but then something grabbed me…

“Feeling the past moving in

Letting a new day begin

Hold to the time that you know

You don’t have to move on to let go

Add to the memory you keep

Remember when you fall asleep

Hold to the love that you know

You don’t have to give up to let go

Remember turning on the night

And moving through the morning light

Remember how it was with you

Remember how you pulled me through

I remember

I remember

I remember

I remember

I remember

I remember

I remember

I remember

I noticed that I was still holding the watch, and still standing in the same place that I had landed on the ice, looking around in disbelief listening to a song by deadmau5 & Kaskade blaring on the PA, when it occurred to me that I was a complete moron for jumping onto the ice because I could have landed on top of Abbey had she fallen.

The ice. The ice is unbroken. I looked at my feet in disbelief, then looked around the ice itself…no fractures, no bulges, no shards…no lines? Impossible. I was wearing my Converse All-Stars, but wandered shakily out further onto the ice anyway, and as I surveyed the ice itself there was not a single line to be found. The song suddenly ended and I instinctively looked back towards the DJ booth, and on the railing to the left of the DJ booth hung a pair of ice skates with the laces tied together, and they were swaying ever so slightly as if someone had only just hung them there. I watched them for a moment to be sure that my eyes were not playing tricks on me, and sure enough, they stopped swaying after a moment. I kept watching them for a while longer just to see if they started moving again. The wind was blowing furiously outside afterall, and this building was already drafty even before some Titan decided to throw it off a cliff a few moments ago. The skates didn’t move.

I kept feeling as though I should be scared, but I never really recall being afraid after the lights came back on. I’m not sure exactly what I felt at this point. My entire life has been filled with weird and strange experiences, but I am neither witch nor wizard, alchemist nor mage. If I had to qualify my feelings at that point, it was simply “keep going”…don’t stop. And so, that’s exactly what I did. I had to know. Still clutching the watch, I proceeded off the ice, and straight to the breaker box for the power. When I got there, and without hesitation, I pulled the main breaker lever, and the entire rink was suddenly aglow via the artwork within the rink that had been painted in phosphorescent paint. I flipped the main breaker back on, the lights came back on, and headed out the front door into the parking lot.

Nothing. No cars except my own. Just prior to turning around and going back into the building, I noticed that the front-end of the car was sitting at an odd angle. I walked a little closer and craned my neck to look around the car, and sure enough, the left-front tire was flat. To be honest, it didn’t even phase me because I was already home and had luckily already stocked up on beer and food for the evening as I was planning to grill a steak out in the cold after the sun went down.

It’s likely that at this point, you have many questions. You’ve identified holes, you’ve thought about what you would have done or would have done differently, and maybe even what I should have done. You aren’t wrong in doing so, and I can assure you that I’ve questioned myself relentlessly since then. But I can only tell the story as it happened. I cannot go back and make everything right, nor can I write some instruction manual so that I’ll be better prepared next time this happens. A woman calling herself Abbey Attrix wandered in to my skating rink in Yarnip County Texas on October 31st of 2008, some pretty weird shit happened over the course of about one minute, she vanished from my rink and my life completely, I’ve no idea what happened to her, nor have I seen her since. The last thing that she said to me was “my friends are here”, but I never saw anyone other than her, and I could only just barely see her when she said that. No one has ever appeared looking for her, she has never returned, and I still have her wristwatch.

“Well I live with snakes and lizards

And other things that go bump in the night

‘Cause to me everyday is Halloween

I have given up hiding and started to fight

I have started to fight.

Well any time, any place, anywhere that I go

All the people seem to stop and stare

They say “why are you dressed like it’s Halloween?

You look so absurd, you look so obscene”

Oh, why can’t I live a life for me?

Why should I take the abuse that’s served?

Why can’t they see they’re just like me

It’s the same, it’s the same in the whole wide world.”

– Ministry, Every Day Is Halloween

So if you again are thinking that I’m telling some fantastic tale in order to drum up interest in Yarnip County Texas and/or my skating rink? Well, you are free to think what you want. Just know that my skating rink is only closed one day out of the year…Halloween. Oh, and good luck finding Yarnip County Texas or my rink the other 364/365 days of the year.

😉

*******

p king x mass

*Yeah! I love his ‘Christmas Ever’ tale …/final drag… I ‘ope he’s written some some stories in the next Anthology, Clicky… /stubs butt…*

😀 Happy Halloween, Dear Reader, and… Have a Song ❤