Missive From ‘Merica: Clicky Led

Clicky speaks

*******

2 + 0 = 1

Sounds impossible? There is a blessing to standardization. It is indicative of a contextual significance. An era. An epoch. A time. What is significant about an obelisk that is not standing up?

I dunno 

What is significant about an obelisk that is standing up? I bet it’s pretty fucking significant if it’s standing, but about to fall. Prolly also significant if it is standing, then falls with little to no warning. How’d that thing stand up anyway?

Prolly aliens + tractor beams
^Fatboy Slim – Right Here, Right Now (CamelPhat Remix)^


I haven’t seen one of these vids appear in a while, but suddenly…here one is.

WARNING: You may want to turn your volume down prior to watching. For some odd reason, this vid is loud as fuck.

PRO TIP: After watching the vid, don’t forget to set your volume back to where it was prior to watching it.

🙂

^strange Trumpet sounds from the sky caught on live TV Volume 20^

So here's the dealio

I’m writing three different posts at the same time,

they’ll be posted in three different places, and

all three are gonna start off with the same three paragraphs.

But they’ll each go their own way after these first three paragraphs. I’ll write/post one here, I’ll write/post one over at my WordPress blog, and the other I’ll send over to RooBeeDoo to see what she comes up with. I’ve not been doing a lot of writing lately, but I sure as shit have been thinking about it.

I’m about to undertake some scary endeavors, and I’ve been working hard to dial my writing back since December of last year in preparation for these endeavors. I’ve also been trying to be mindful of what I read and watch. Limiting my intake, if you will. But last night, I started to feel just downright depressed. Like someone had kicked me in the junk, ‘cept with none of the actual pain and all of the actual depression.

As I lay on my bed and contemplated while I felt so shitty, I got the impression that I just flat out missed writing all the time. There are other things I miss as well, but I can’t do anything about that. So, I’ll focus on those things I can do something about. At this stage in my life, there is really only one thing that I have some limited ability to control, and that is my writing, and where and when I choose to write it. Let’s onward with the…whatever this is.

BREAK!
^CamelPhat – Drop It^


Is there a difference between something that is standing up, and something that is not? I mean, even if they are the same goddamn thing, if it’s laying down, it’s not the same thing laying down that it is when it’s standing up…right? Do I need to bring up penises?

lolz...bring up penises...lolz

This is the downside to talking ethics. There is an implied decorum that needs to be maintained. I assume that this decorum is to maintain and/or achieve some sort of purity. But what in the FUCK is “pure” about dreaming up and enacting legislation pertaining to murder? Or is it the path that purifies us, as we walk from the point of origin(s) that put us on this muddy and despicable trail of tears, all in order to get us to where we need to be?

Yeah, ethics suck

If you are clean, you gotta get dirty in order to understand what it is that draws your particular snout to the pig sty. If you are dirty, you gotta listen to the same uppity righteous fucks that likely created whatever shithole you are trying to climb out of. It’s a mess.

^Hot Since 82 – Veins (Original Mix)^

Let’s go this direction for a bit…

Obelisk of Axum
Tiya (Archaeological Site)
King Ezana’s Stela
Eritrean Highlands
Rift Valley Fever
Great Rift Valley, Kenya
Great Rift Valley, Ethiopia
East African Rift
Divergence
Abuse of Notation
Intuition

Would intuition be what it is, if it were more standardized? Thinking now about the curvature of our planet and certain spaces, there is a potential for nullification based on a contextual proximity within time. That is to say, that “not all sacred sites are the same”. Sure, they are all “sacred”…

but to who?

When?

Where?

So with that in mind, is the Tevatron the same thing as the LHC?

Tevatron

Large Hadron Collider

If they are the same thing, why are there two of them? Do we need two of the same thing? Or is one more/less significant than the other?

^Mark Knight – Your Love (Original Club Mix)^

Let's see what Boogie2988 is up to

He mentions something about a YouTube purge.

My Twitter has been acting wonky for about a week.

I wonder if any of this shit has any affect on Bitcoin.

^I’M FINALLY FIGURING IT ALL OUT… RECOVERY LESSONS.^

What…in the FUCK…is “body dysmorphia”?

Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Alien Hand Syndrome
Body Integrity Identity Disorder
Somatoparaphrenia
Hemispatial Neglect
Acquired Brain Injury
Synonyms of Arterial Tortuosity Syndrome
Dystonia
Human Factors and Ergonomics
Ergonomic Hazard
Vibration
Repetitive Strain Injury
Space Psychology
Kinesiology
Podiatry
Reflexology

If you sit in a certain chair, at a certain desk, and you do this over a certain period of time…

but then suddenly

… you find yourself in a different chair, at a different desk, for different periods of time…

Q: Does that have an effect on anything at all?

A: Or are you just a piece of meat?

Yeah, I don’t know how to deal with bitter acerbity either.

^Solardo – On The Corner^


Yesterday, I did a search on YouTube for “spiritual awakening” just because I’ve not kept up with that shit in a while. I don’t even remember what I found, because I wound up trying to start watching Part 3 of that Ouija Board documentary. I dig rest.

Let’s hop over to YouTube real quick, I’m gonna search for “spiritual awakening” again – without quotes – and I’m going to link the 3rd video on the 3rd page of the search results. Sound good? Let’s do it!

<rawr> ;-P

JESUS H. CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The 3rd video on the 3rd page is motherfucking 1 hour, 46 minutes, and 5 seconds long!!!

I ain’t watching that bullshit!!!

First rattle out of the fucking bag, the goddamn video tells me to go read a coupla prophesies from Nostradamus before watching the video. Now, why on EARTH would someone want me to pause the video, grab a book, and read a bit before watching the video?

Hmmmmm

Could it be to get you used to the fact, that in order to proceed in your continued “growth”, you are going to need books,

and home videos,

and daily chant guides,

and daily mantra guides,

and t-shirts,

and bumper stickers,

and laminated bookmarks with clever shit written on them,

and coffee mugs,

and all kinds of other ancillary market types of shit to take along with you, as you trek to god knows where for the quarterly retreats that are held for select “gold members” at the temple?

Anyway, here’s the video if you wanna watch it. I only made it to 1 minute 43 seconds.

^The Laws of the Sun – Spiritually Awakening Movie – OFFICIAL^

If I keep talking about the same shit over and over, does that create some sort of repetitive type injury?

O RLY? To whom? 

Yeah, to whom does this injury occur? To me? To anyone who reads my bullshit? Both? Anyway, I’ve seen this gal’s stuff before, and may have even watched and linked this particular video at some point. But there seems to be an infatuation in certain sectors of the synchrosphere with “the shining”.

Clicky squints

Shining
Shining
Illumination
Illumination
Clairvoyance
Synchrotron
Synchrotron Radiation
Synchroscope
Synchronicity

I find this concept of “specificity within the synchrosphere” to be ironic, since specificity seems to be contrary to the nature of synchronicity. That said, a lot of these concepts may not be new, but they are new to some of us. So, let’s see what she has to say about something very specific, and how this specificity may relate to “spiritual awakening”.

^How to Develop Clairvoyance, How to Become Clairvoyant, How it Works!^


A few weeks ago, the street light across the way went out. The street was dark as shit for a coupla weeks, and it was just damn nice outside at night because you could actually see at night without that fucking beacon blinding the fuck out of you. However, it has now been replaced, and they replaced the one light, with two. Not only that, the fucking thing is bright white instead of the pale amber of the previous street light.

The whole goddamn street is now bright as shit at night

I wanted to take some pics of the full moon, but I now can’t because of that goddamn beacon that is right in the path of the moon/Luna’s ascension.

😐

^SYMBOLOGY AND YOU. How SYMBOLS Affect Your Subconscious Mind WITHOUT Knowing It + ANCIENT Symbols^

I’m not trying to knock these people, but a lot of this shit sounds like the parroting of something you’ve learned, and you are following the program or system step by step in order, as you’ve been taught to do. I know that I do this all the time. So, what is it that we are trying to break out of? Why are we trying to break out of it? Are we searching for intuition? Are we searching for our own intuition?

Standardized anything is going to seek to quash intuition, so maybe that’s the sudden infatuation with enlightenment via ancient mysteries and/or mystery schools and the like.

Temple of Set

Harry Houdini

Spiritualism

BLOOPS!!! I guess there’s nothing new about it. ‘Cept for maybe we are getting to know our neighbors a bit better without even realizing we were doing so.

Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania

What, in the name of all that is holy, could Wilkes-Barre Pennsylvania have to do with the price of tea in Antarctica? I dunno. But I can think of one person that this town might ring a bell with.

^Shiba San – OKAY^


Been watching Dr. Who, Deadwood, and Adventure Time with a certain someone. I’m still kinda iffy on the whole “remote viewing” angles of this particular activity, but I’m kinda comfortable with my own cluelessness, so whatever.

/me shrugs

Remote Viewing

I can only imagine, that anyone gaining access to my head/being, the first fucking thought is going to be

“GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!” 

The only reason that I can see that someone would want direct access to the fabric of another being…

Truth

But doesn’t truth loose some of its meaning when the filters and filtering that is already in place are circumnavigated and/or circumvented? It can’t be truth if I don’t want or need to tell it. So there’s an implied duality or binary nature to getting to “the truth” by the action of telling. What we tell, and how…

Perception(s) and perspective(s)

I mean, just because you can plug a lamp into an electrical socket, is no guarantee that the lamp will light.

^Mark The Beast – Breathe (ft. Niks)^

I narrowed my YouTube search to only show results from videos that were posted this week. This was the latest one, and it appears to have been posted 7 hours ago.

 Today is Tuesday May 1st, 2018, and it's currently 12:48 CDT

It appears this video is a talk more than a video, and it’s some gal talking about the menstrual cycle. I’m not female. This talk has fuckall to do with me. But it does make me think about fibrous material(s). That makes me think about Morgellon’s. Not that I ever think about fibrous material(s) potentially being an issue for women that use certain feminine hygiene products or anything.

Aponeurosis
Apnea
Toxic Shock Syndrome
Morgellons
Innate Immune System
Symptom
Diagnosis Code

Is it possible that Morgellon’s is actually a form of Toxic Shock Syndrome? I mean, I personally am allergic to everything under the fucking sun. Not to mention, anyone can become allergic to anything, at any time. Shellfish are OK for eating today, but tomorrow, eating them kills you. So…with that in mind…

Q: What changed?

A: I dunno either.

Maybe we can figure it out.

Or at least develop some coping mechanisms.

/shrug
^Red Moon: Goddess Teachings & Meditations for Female Spiritual Awakening^

This isn’t really where I intended to go.

I intended to go nowhere in particular.

Can both of these statements be true?
^Deadmau5 – There Might Be Coffee (1080p) || HD^


When I see someone’s profile pic on Twitter, and I get the googly eyes because she is very pretty, is there a certain procedure or protocol that I supposed to follow at that point? Am I supposed to message them and say “YO BITCH YOU ARE HOT AS FUCK!!!” or something similar? Or do I just wait for the erection to subside, then go about my business.

Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever actually gotten a boner from looking at some gal’s pic. But I’ve gotten butterflies a time or two. Anyway, I never thought of Twitter as some dating service or place to meet chicks to hook up with. I guess being married will do that to a fella, and subsequently being divorced doesn’t change much in that regard.

But I do often contemplate the mechanics of meeting someone. I mean, I’m single again, so why wouldn’t I contemplate this? To be honest, it scares the shit out of me because I had long been under the assumption that I’d be married for the rest of my life. Plus, what if one of these gals I get the googly eyes and butterflies over is married or in a relationship already? I can handle someone seeing my pic and throwing up. I’ve had this face for a long time and am familiar with the response it tends to generate.

Meh…I’ve no idea what to do, nor even if I should do anything. I think I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing, which is nothing. At least that’s something.

^Summertime Rolls – Jane’s Addiction.wmv^
MAYDAY!!! MAYDAY!!! MAYDAY!!!

May Day

I’ve seen some “witchy types” posting something about some other name to call this, so lemme go see if I can find what that something is.

Beltane

BELTANE!!! 

Speaking of belts, my mother gave me all of my father’s old belts. I mean, the guy is dead, so he ain’t gonna need them anymore. Anyway, I was looking at one of the older ones, and it got me to wondering how many lashes I got over the years with that particular belt.

It’s wide,

it’s thick,

it’s long,

made of leather,

and left many a welt on my 

back,

arms,

legs,

hands,

and sometimes even my ass. Not that he was a bad aim, but he usually had to suspend me in the air by dangling me from one of my arms.

I was not real receptive to being repeatedly struck with a heavy piece of leather, but one day, that all changed. I bent over, grabbed my ankles, and never made a peep through all 12 lashes. He, was stunned. But I think when it was over, and I turned to face him, and shot him a look of hate bound by fury, I think I scared him. He was almost speechless, and eventually stammered a congratulations to me on my “not going to the tear department”, but our relationship forever changed that day.

He retired the belt, and never used it on me again. I’ll not elaborate as to the direction that the violence took after the belt was retired, but you can probably imagine. I was 12 years old.

^Paul Keeley- Run To You (Original Mix)^


I gotta run because this one is getting kinda long, and I’ve two more of these I need to go write, then get back to watching Deadwood and Dr Who with a certain someone. But before I go, I got a parting query. There are many that espouse this “living for the day” mentality to others. To seize opportunity, and not to wait. But I’ve got a question for you…

Q: Aren’t you worth waiting for?

A: I think you are

Doesn’t matter if it’s 5 seconds or 5 years. I’m betting that you are worth waiting for.

I think you are pretty awesome, and I don’t even really know you.

Not even sure what “knowing” really means in this context.

You learn, you grow, you change, you…

do whatever in the fuck you do.

So “knowing” can’t be just and only about fucking.

But yeah, I’ve got a feeling about you, and I don’t even know who you are.

Now all you have to do, is sort out/figure out who I am talking to and/or referencing.

Good luck

❀

^Mango – Sayonara (Original Mix)^


cYa | cFa

^Dave Horne – In Our Dreams (Original Mix) [HD]^

*******

dolphin wave

Read, Amber… GO!

I’ve got a day’s leave today, Dear Reader, and it’s absolutely pissing down outside, so here’s a shamble to start the week. This morning I read Amber had gone. Here’s a summary…

…And she’s been replaced with a Malteser…

*Whoa! …/lights up… That’s some manspreadin’ he’s got going on there for the cameras… /drags deeply… Maybe it’s where he stashes his packet… /blows… There’ll be outrage…*

Still, us Wimminvolk are fortunate indeed that there’s a female politician, brobdingnagian in stature, just waiting in the wings and poised to take his remit firmly in hand…

*/guffaws… car-crash in slow motion… /drags… Not exactly quick on her feet, Clicky… /blows smoke ring… I wonder if she’s considered changing her stance? …/flicks ash…*

Whether or not Amber’s departure will lead to an irreparable loss of confidence in top politician bitchℱ, and another General Election…

doctor-hurt

*Fuck ’em! …/final drag… All of ’em… /streams smoke… Regardless of sex, politicians are a bunch of cunts…*

quote-a-week-is-a-long-time-in-politics-harold-wilson

*True… /stubs butt…*

Dear Reader, enjoy your week and… have a Song 😉

Missive From ‘Merica: With ADDED WOO

Been on a bit of cultural exchange these past two weeks, Dear Reader…

Adventure Time

*Indeed, Clicky! …/pats snout…*

… Whereby I’ve been introducing The Okie Devil of Text Us to Doctor Who…

*It’s been an Utter joy, Clicky, bouncing around time and space with Cade… /lights up… Seeing things anew…*

… And in return, he has introduced me to Doowdaed…

*No shit! It’s called Deadwood?! …/rubs eyes… Actually, Clicky, that does makes more sense… /drags…*

… And we’ll continue with more of that later today…

*/coughs… I ain’t shown him that one yet! …/taps ash… Mind you… /smokes… touch and hearing in one clip, Clicky? Fucking clever!*

Woo Hoo

In the meantime, Cade has very kindly sent a missive for us all to enjoy, Dear Reader…

*******

giphy

Where have I been?

Where have YOU been is likely a more appropriate question.

I've been taking a break.

Getting my bikini figure into shape for Bikini Season.

Let’s remedy that.

^DJ Shredda – Chainsaw (The Crow Mix)^

Let me come clean. I’ve been avoiding anything and everything on the web, except Twitter, and I’ve been doing that for the last few months. I don’t care what it is, I don’t want to see it, and I don’t want to hear it. Those “pokes from else and/or elsewhere” have gotten too numerous. My feet, legs and hips are cramping almost non-stop, and it fucking hurts.

So yeah...vacation. 

I keep thinking about some 16 year old girl shooting herself. Can’t get it out of my fucking head. That, and this goddamn anti-smoking bullshit. Oh, and I’m trying to write. So there’s that. I also keep swirling around swirls. That has led me to some interesting thoughts on “flat space(s)”, so I’m gonna ramble about some of that…

assuming it's A-O-fucking-K with you.
^Acid Fighter (DJ Crow Remix) – Soundgrabber^


So what’s up with you where you are? It’s snowing outside here. Gonna put my cold weather gear on in a bit, go outside, and make a video. I doubt very seriously that most fucks are going to believe that it’s snowing in North Texas in late April, but it is. Once I make the video, we’ll have proof, the case will be solved forever, and there will be no reason to argue about the truth of spring snow(s) in Texas. I’ll keep you posted on where you can view the video.

^DJ The Crow meets DJ Arne LII – The Speed (Überdruck Mix)^


Why in the fuck would anyone care if North Korea/South Korea reunified? You running low on shit to talk about? Running low on shit to worry about? East Germany and West Germany got back together.

Maybe if you fucks would stop thinking in terms of big and small, you could actually focus. Or at least, make some discernment(s) as to what focus is.

Which reminds me, I got to thinking about the nature of focus with respect to membranes, and it got me to thinking about what is required to stretch a something so thin, that it results in the reduction of mass in certain sectors of the stretched membrane in such a way as to detract/reduce scale. Meaning, the reduction in mass does not cause a fundamental change in anything except scale.

Shrinking. 

Basically, a chain of say…Oxygen atoms…have become so stretched, all while retaining their relational bonds, that some atoms begin to shrink in scale. Methinks we are stumbling into/onto some gravity/anti-gravity kinds of things here.

^Norman Bass – How U Like Bass? (Warp Brothers Club Mix)^

Thinking more in terms of contextual processes that are created for the purpose(s) of creating something that does not currently exist, there are certain things that we can accept as being, for the most part…normal. Like say, the creation of a house using wood, that starts with the chopping down of a tree, and is followed by the chopping down of more trees.

Pretty normal sounding right? 

Welp, what about slamming sub-atom particles together at near the speed of light using the machines that we build in order to achieve this? Is that normal? Or can we consider it “normal” to qualify these activities as…abnormal.

Q: Is “sawdust” considered waste?

A: ???

Do we have processes in place to adequately deal with the ongoing sawdust issue(s)? Have we taken steps? Addressed concerns? Is the matter settled?

^Crash Bass – Hardshake^

Let’s focus

Focus (Optics)

Let’s get more focused

   Focus

We on the same page?

Let us turn it
^Gary Beck – Say What (Adam Beyer Remix) [SAVED RECORDS]^

I wonder how many membranes are breached in order to perform an “average” surgery.

Fascia
Fibromyalgia
Crystal Habit (Redirected from Fiberous habit)
Fiber
Dietary Fiber
Biodegradable Waste
Tortuous
Tortuosity
Tortious Interference
Tortuosamine
What Is a Tortuous Artery?
Twisted Blood Vessels: Symptoms, Etiology and Biomechanical Mechanisms

So can we assume that there is a difference between a perforation and a cut/incision? What about a stretch or strain? Wouldn’t an incision by a laser be both a perforation and a cut? No to mention the burn(ing).

^Hanayo – Joe le Taxi^


It’s just passed noon on Saturday April 28, and I’ve not been sleeping well. I’ve been dreaming non-stop for months now, but I guess its the season change that is currently fucking me up. I went on a 5 day drinking bender last week, and it did me some good. But still not sleeping very well. Guess I’m sweating heading to Austin a bit. Leaving for Austin soon, and looking forward to it, but also kinda nervous. The dynamics of the trip have suddenly changed. I’ll survive it tho. May even have some fun.

/me shrugs

On the up side, I’ve got the fever to write.

On the down side, I’m gonna be without my computer for a while.

I guess it's time to break out the pen and paper.

OH! I’ve got three stories in the new Underdog Anthology which was published this last week.

UAV front cover all named

I guess I need to write a post on it on my own goddamn blog.

^M83 ‘Midnight City’ Official video^


Got to thinking about the referential dynamics of gene sequences the other day, and the numbers went from “ridiculous” to “incomprehensible” almost immediately.

Picture This: two identical strands of DNA. One of these strands is located in the heart, and the other is flowing within the bloodstream. Now, imagine these two strands in relation to one another. Now think about the sequence in each strand. Do the sequences remain constant? What about in relation to each other?

I mean, we are talking more about cryptography/cryptology than we are about relationships or gene sequences/gene sequencing, so what about discretion, distinction and/or discrimination? Is there potentially some magic in the spacial relationships and orientations of identical things? What about like things? Similar not same kinds of things?

Cryptography
Discernment
Discernment of Spirits
Discrimination

So yeah, if you get two identical things together, what are they now?

Spooky action at a distance?

Or does the action always and forever need to follow a predefined path?

^Boy Harsher — Pain^

Was talking to a certain someone this week about “GUT”, and espoused that this particular pursuit is going to have to include multiple elements, and that the omission of a simultaneous “constructive/destructive” is likely why these efforts to construct a unification continues to fail and/or be elusive.

Grand Unified Theory

Whatever this “GUT” winds up being will have to have contextual nature, and I added Earth/Terra and Sun/Sol distinctions.

EX: The GUT on Earth/Terra will not be applicable on Mars, and the GUT on The Sun/Sol will differ from the GUT on Earth/Terra. We are in motion, and the only constant state appears to be that of “change” and/or “changing”, depending on where you are and when.

Perspective(s).

So yeah, there is likely a metric shitload of fucktons of galactic considerations that also need to be made. Maybe The Zodiac ain’t such a stretch afterall, eh? I mean, if these distant gamma ray bursts are suddenly of global concern because we can now see/detect them, that means that they’ve always been a concern. So I got a question for you…

Q: What’s your fucking hurry?

A: Âż?Âż

Maybe if you fucks weren’t so goddamn wrapped up in the fatalistic ends of the more modern interpretations Darwinian theory/theories, you wouldn’t be so fucking anxious to win your very own Darwin Award, and take the rest of us with you in the process.

^Kiesza – Hideaway (Official Video)^

Yes, I am suggesting that certain sectors of science seem to be pretty goddamn fatalistic. I mean fuck, we can get that fatalism bullshit from religion. We don’t need it from you too.

But you’re free to do what you want.

Blow it all up.

😐
^Azari & III – Hungry for the power (Jamie Jones remix)^

 My brain hurts.

Imma go get something to eat, then video the snow for anyone who wants to see it.

^’I FINK U FREEKY’ by DIE ANTWOORD (Official)^

cYa | cFa

^Hey Boy Hey Girl (Soulwax ‘2 Many DJ’s’ Remix)^

*******

Feeding time

*Yeah, I’m hungry too, Clicky… /stubs butt… Let’s get sumfin to eat…*

Dear Reader? CYL… 😉 …and have a Song ❀

137: Pointlessly Exercised

Seams, Dear Reader, that the Dez Rez Prez of Trump Town is to pay a visit to Old Blighty on 137…

*/lights up… Hey, Clicky, didn’t I see sumfin ’bout spoons earlier? …/drags…*

*Sounds like a good idea… /exhales smoke… Butt it DON’t say ‘working visits’…/coughs… He probably DON’t have to go through those detector thingies anyway… /taps ash…*

*Heh! …/reflects on curling smoke… You know, I used to go out with a Gareth Jones, Clicky… /drags… 1985… Year of Five Boyfriends… /streams smoke… He came from Wales…*

Kit Chien Sink

*Oh fuck yeah! …/grins… He gave me a loving spoon… /slurps cherry Coke… Still got it, overlooking the Kit Chien sync…*

… Sew, I was chatting to my friend and Welsh Dragon publisher, Leggy, about the visit last night on Twitter…

Roob and Legs convo 1

*Flashback eh, Clicky? …/drags…*

Merovee selfie 090315 Roob telling Vik Roof was robbed

*…/blows smoke… The burglars were much tidier than the car thieves… /flicks ASH…*

 

Roob and Legs convo 2Roob and Legs convo 3Roob and Legs convo 4

*/shakes head… Funny how he’s all up for exercising ‘free speech’ when it comes to stuff… /final drag… he don’t like himself… /expels smoke…*

Roob and Legs convo 5Roob and Legs convo 6

*/stubs butt… If the mercury’s rising, Clicky… /rolls eyes…*

UAV About Roob page Mercury Rising

*Ah! …/beams… Nice way to promote Underdog Anthology V, Clicky… /pats snout…*

Dear Reader… Have a Song 😉

 

 

 

Crossing the Date Line

*Coming out of what, Clicky? …/lights up rollie and drags…*

UAV front and back cover

*/puffs contentedly…*

At last, Dear Reader, the Underdog Anthology V is published…

*Knot a graphic novel, Clicky… /streams smoke… Short stories, many authors…*

… I’d been speculating with Leggy late on Friday as to the date it might appear…

Legy and Roob talk UAV and dates 1

… The first ‘event’ listed in the Wiki link – ‘The Year of SIX Emperors’…

LONE-STAR-1

*Five pointed star! I was thinking of The Okie Devil of Textus… /flicks ash… Cade’s got stories in the book. I didn’t even think of that, Clicky… /pats snout… What did I list next?*

Legy and Roob talk UAV and dates 2

*/drags… 19 Four-Tees… /blows smoke ring… Nineteen stories…*

*Three? …/squints… Sew, inadvertently, Leggy and I counted down six, five, four three… /final drag…*

Legy and Roob talk UAV and dates 3

*2, 1… /stubs butt… Hey, how about that ‘wolf trap‘, Clicky?*

Legy and Roob talk UAV and dates 4

 

Strangely enough, Dear Reader, if you go check out UAV’s listing on Amazon – and I suggest you doo 😉 – it’s published date is 20th April…

facepalm

*Oh I dunno, Clicky… /lights up… 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0… /grins…*

Have a Song 😉

Who Noob Tales: Nine Lives… No, Really

I am having a long weekend, Dear Reader. I spent yesterday daytime making final edits to stories in the soon-to-be-published ‘Underdog Anthology V: Six in Five in Four’. Leggy has a preview, in which he includes one of his stories from the book…

Old Peculier on the neighbours cat

*/grins… How peculiar, Clicky… /lights up…*

peculiar (adj.)

mid-15c., “belonging exclusively to one person,” from Latin peculiaris “of one’s own (property),” from peculium “private property,” literally “property in cattle” (in ancient times the most important form of property), from pecu “cattle, flock,” related to pecus “cattle” (see pecuniary). Meaning “unusual” is first attested c. 1600 (earlier “distinguished, special,” 1580s; for sense development, compare idiom). Related: Peculiarly.

wiki peculier

*’Also KT and KH’…/drags… No shit! …/streams smoke… *

Then last night Cade and I resumed his introduction to Doctor Who, and also caught up with Leggy and Poppy… Les amis…

Poppy and Roob discuss Cades Who Introductory Course 1

Poppy and Roob discuss Cades Who Introductory Course 2Poppy and Roob discuss Cades Who Introductory Course 3Poppy and Roob discuss Cades Who Introductory Course 4

rare doctor who hand flap

*/flicks ash… Knot a favourite episode, Clicky… /drags… although, excellent use of a jammie dodger… /blows smoke rings… I’d forgotten about that…*

Poppy and Roob discuss Cades Who Introductory Course 5

Poppy and Roob discuss Cades Who Introductory Course 6Poppy and Roob discuss Cades Who Introductory Course 7

*Like the villain, House, in The Doctor’s Wife, Clicky, Daleks are a bit like a sea anemone… /puffs… “hard on the outside, squishy on the inside”… I hadn’t made that connection before… /taps teeth…*

Anyhoo, in honour of Old Peculier’s neighbour’s cat, Dear Reader, and seeing as a ‘cat‘ won today’s Grand National, I thought I’d take a leaf out of Leggy’s book – pun intended – and post one of my stories from UAV. It’s short and called ‘Nine Lives’. The Knot-Sew confidential making of it can be found here. Enjoy!

*******

NINE LIVES

Karl sat at his kitchen table, smoking and observing the tendrils of early morning mist gently tickle the tops of the garden hedge, before continuing their soft creep to the ground. It was dark outside but the lawn glittered with stars; pregnant dew drops nestling in the grass caught the thin, amber light that spilled from the kitchen window. He stubbed out his cigarette and gulped back the last dregs of cold tea from his mug with a grimace. Not long now, Karl thought, she’ll be home soon. Outside the mist started to swirl and pool.

He stood up and stretched, bones creaking and knees popping as if to salute the end of his vigil. He fleetingly considered that he was getting too old for this malarkey, but she needed a watcher – someone to light the way back. He could bear the discomfort; it was only for the night. Karl rubbed his eyes under his glasses, and dragged his hands down over bristled cheeks to wipe any tiredness away. He contemplated putting the kettle on when he heard the first high pitched bark puncturing the dark. The second got him moving. “Not the foxes again!”

As he opened the back door, the wet slap of morning air to hit Karl’s face was accompanied by a rude crash and skitter of a dustbin lid falling, somewhere in the mist. She’s coming from the right, he thought, opening the door wider to peer out into the murk. More barks, louder this time, and a fiery hiss, were followed by the sound of clambered wood, as the garden fence shook violently. Karl held the door further ajar, and a white streak shot out of the mist and between his legs, into the kitchen.

Karl closed the door on the mist and the foxes who, by the sound of it, were now rummaging through next door’s bin for tasty scraps. He turned to the slight figure, lying on the kitchen floor. “For goodness sake, Lara, do you have to tease the foxes? It upsets the neighbours.”

“It upsets the bins,” Lara replied, lightly panting as she rolled over and attempted to sit up. “No, they were waiting for me. Foxes are not called cunning for nothing, Karl.”

“Yes, but they usually leave you alone when you’re hedge riding.”

Lara sighed. “It would seem witches aren’t held in much esteem these days. Not by people or wildlife.”

Karl surveyed the flush in his wife’s cheeks and her glittering eyes, and thought she still looked pretty formidable considering her advanced years. He also noticed the shudder in her arm propping her up. “You should get off the floor. What would you like, sofa or chair?” he asked, scooping her up, with barely a tremble from his own geriatric limbs.

“Sofa,” Lara replied with a wan smile. “Thank you, dear. And a cuppa and a ciggie wouldn’t go amiss either.”

“Funnily enough, I was just about to put the kettle on,” Karl replied, before lowering his wife, so she could reach out and pluck the cigarette packet and lighter from the kitchen table. A fat bead of blood splashed onto the surface below, quickly followed by another. “You’re injured?”

“Damn foxes.” Lara winced and drew her arm back toward her chest. “One of them managed to get a mouthful of armpit. I don’t think it’s too deep. Just stings a bit.”

“But you’re bleeding,” Karl said gruffly. Too gruffly, he feared, from the look his wife shot him. “Okay, let’s get you comfortable and then I can clean that up,” he continued in a more conciliatory tone, before carrying her through to the front room.

Karl noticed that Lara was already on her second cigarette when he returned five minutes later, to set out a bowl of hot water, soap, flannel and towel on the carpet before her. “Kettle’s on for tea,” he said kneeling down. He adjusted his glasses and gingerly started to lift Lara’s elbow. “Can’t let it get infected, how would we explain that to Dr Patel?”

“I can always change back so you can take me to a vet,” Lara replied sharply, pulling away from his grasp.

She must be in great pain, Karl thought. “Come now, dear, we don’t have pet insurance. We don’t own a pet.” Lara’s eyes briefly flashed at his riposte, but her body relaxed and she allowed him to lift her arm. “So apart from getting into a fight with some foxes…”

“Ambushed by some foxes,” Lara quickly corrected him.

“Sorry, ambushed by some foxes on the way home, how was the rest of your night?”

Lara took a deep drag from her cigarette. “Well it started off okay,” she said, billowing a great cloud of smoke. “I went to see Annie and girls down at Saint Michael’s.”

“And how are Annie and the girls?” Karl asked as he cleaned her wound of blood.

“Dead.”

“Naturally.” Any bleeding seemed to have stopped, but the swelling around the punctures had already started to bruise, turning an angry black mauve that only truly flourished on elderly skin. Karl stopped himself flinching at the sight. “You’d think they’d get themselves a spirit cat.”

“They’ve got a spirit cat,” Lara gently rebuked him with a chuckle.

“A ghost cat, then.” Karl smiled at her mirth. “You know what I mean.”

“Oh a ghost cat would be just as stuck as they are. Graveyards are lonely places, Karl. The residents like the company and the gossip. Especially the newly interred. Once the funeral is over, they rarely get more than a yearly visit from any family. If that.” Lara finished her cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray perched on the arm of the sofa. “How’s it looking?”

“Ugly but clean. It’ll need some arnica,” Karl replied, rising carefully to his feet. “That’s in the kitchen. Besides, the kettle must have boiled by now. No, no. You stay there. I’ll go.”

Lara laughed and shooed him away with her good arm before reaching for the cigarettes and lighter.

Karl could hear swearing from outside the back door; Jim must be up and found the aftermath of the fox fracas. Karl popped the kettle on and grabbed the arnica and some aspirin from the medicine cupboard, chuckling at the string of expletives emanating from over the garden fence. He glanced out the window to see that sunrise was already burning off the mist that had been so thick an hour or so ago. It looked like it could be a lovely day.

The sound of the front doorbell caught him off guard. Who would be calling at this hour? Karl wondered and went to open the front door. Through the frosted glass he could make out the shape of a woman in a bright pink dressing gown. What could she want? Karl thought as he unlocked and opened the door. “Morning Celia. Is everything alright?”

“Oh Karl,” his next door neighbour cried, her face puffy and contorted with distress. “Karl, I’m so sorry if I’ve woke you,” Celia started to apologise. “There was some trouble with foxes in our garden last night. I don’t know if you heard any of it.”

“No,” Karl lied. “But I heard Jim swearing earlier. Did they make much of a mess?”

Celia looked distraught at the suggestion. “Well yes, but…” she trailed off with a sob. “Karl, it’s Lara. I’m so sorry. They killed your cat.” Celia had not come empty handed; she held out a bundle, wrapped neatly in a towel, out in front of her.

Karl felt an icy chill bloom from the crown of his head and cascade down his body. “Thank you,” he said numbly, taking the bundle from Celia’s shaking hands.

“I’m so, so sorry,” Celia continued but Karl had already shut the front door. He felt the lightness of the bundle in his arms. It felt so slight.

“Lara?” Karl called as he carried it through to his wife, but the front room was empty. He laid the bundle on the sofa and sat down next to it. A spiral of smoke floated up from the ashtray perched on the arm. Karl turned and picked up the last of the burning cigarette and with trembling fingers, finished his smoke.

*******

I’m off now to introduce Cade to Thoughtful Man’s favourite companion, Dear Reader…

Clara

*/winks…*

Have a Song ❀

Who Noob Tales: The Tramp & The Little Blue Box

tramp

*Ugh, ghastly biscuits, Clicky… /sticks out tongue in disgust… The smell was bad enough, passing the the Peeky Freaky factory twice a day… /flicks lighter… Snot my taste. Not like the custard cream days… /lights up… I dawdled passed the factory on those days…*

This week, Dear Reader, I have been introducing Cade to Doctor Who. He’s a Who Noob…

*Knot anymore he ain’t, Clicky… /snickers…*

… And last night I also introduced him to the the Noble Donna…

*Martha was the night before, Clicky… /drags… And Rose and Captain Jack at the weekend… /streams smoke…*

Cade and Roob Partners in Crime Chat 1Cade and Roob Partners in Crime Chat 2Cade and Roob Partners in Crime Chat 3Cade and Roob Partners in Crime Chat 4

*No River Song is tonight, Clicky… /puffs contentedly…*

“If you ever see a little blue box, flying up in the sky, you shout for me Gramps.”

Thoughtful Man and I had a blue box experience today, Dear Reader…

Mayfair Warning

*/puffs angrily… Is there nuffin the bint won’t do to get out of Brexit, Clicky? /flicks ash… Don’t answer…*

Because I work on the 13th floor of the Tower, and because I have to take at least 20 minutes for lunch for my ‘health and safety’ – my time is flexible; I can bank the rest –  I take one cigarette to work with me each day. Carried in a salvaged, old-style box. Today’s was a Mayfair box…

“You’ll never guess what happened at lunch today,” I told Thoughtful Man, shrugging off my coat, after he’d brought me home from work. He’s thoughtful like that. “I gave my cigarette to a tramp.”

Thoughtful Man squinted hard, the way he does when I mention I’ve given something away. Or interacted with tramps. I have form…

another tramp story

*That’s another story, Clicky… /final drag… Now don’t interrupt… /stubs butt… I’m tryin’ to fiction-all-lies an actual factual happening… /blows smoke rings…*

“Why?” he asked bluntly.

“Because she asked me for it,” I said innocently, slipping out of my work shoes and rolling down my tights. The first thing I do when I get home is strip off my work clothes. The change from formal to informal is one of the little pleasures I take from my day.

Thoughtful Man’s squint soften slightly. “She?”

“Yes. I saw her in the lobby of Tower as I was going out to smoke. Didn’t think anything of it ‘cos we get all sorts coming in everyday,” I said, pulled my dress up over my head. “Anyway, I went and sat in my usual place on the window ledge, round the side of the building. It’s less windy.”

Thoughtful Man was silent but I just knew what he was thinking…

spaced skip to the end

*I’ll get there, if you stop interrupting me! …/huffs…*

I pulled on some jogging bottoms and Thoughtful Man’s old, raggedy sweatshirt. “And I’d nearly finished smoking my cigarette, when the lady tramp ambles round the corner. She was holding up a bottle of perfume.”

“Perfume?” Thoughtful Man interrupted me. “Like she was going to mace you?”

“Yeah. Do you know her?”

Thoughtful Man sighed; he encounters all sorts every day too driving his taxi round the mean streets of our town. “She’s completely fucking mad. I saw her today as well, when I was standing on the rank.”

I plonked myself in my Library chair and lit up a cigarette. “She didn’t spray me or anything. She asked me for a cigarette. I only had the one and I’d nearly finished smoking it. I said ‘Sorry’ and showed her the empty Mayfair box.”

“What did she say?”

I grabbed our small dog, who’d been buzzing round my feet, trying to lick my ankles. “She asked me for the one I was smoking. So I gave it to her.” I ruffed Poppy’s floppy ears and she gave me a smelly, wet, licky kiss in return. “And then she asked me for the empty packet.”

Thoughtful Man stiffened. “Did you give it to her?”

“Well yeah. I’ve got other empty boxes saved.” Oh how I hate the god-awful plain packaging government has foisted on us.

Poppy jumped off my lap and trotted over to Thoughtful Man, who picked her up for a tummy tickle. “I must have seen her after you did because, when she walked past me, she threw an empty Mayfair box at my feet.”

“Really?” I asked with a squint. I didn’t know whether to be amazed at her aim or annoyed that she’d dumped my little, blue box. “Did you pick it up?”

“No.” Thoughtful Man looked aghast. “She’d screwed it up.”

“Damn!”

rabbiting on

*Shit! …/clocks time… I’ve got a double-bill planned for Cade tonight. We’d better finish up, Clicky… /pats snout… Still, no work tomorrow, eh? Come on flexible time!*

Got to go, Dear Reader… Have a Song…

HBD Dr One! From The Okie Devil & RBD2

Two things, Dear Reader…

*No, Clicky… /flicks lighter… two items to cover off in this post… /lights up…*

First up, the soon to be published Underdog Anthology V has finally got a title…

*Knot quite… /puffs… Similar, Clicky…*

Six in Five in Four

Leggy tells me there will be 20 stories in all, not including the Foreword and Afterword, which I guess makes…

1260827856769

*/drags… twenty-two… /squints… and knot Tutu, Clicky… /taps ash…*

I have two stories included: ‘Nine Lives‘ and a new ‘Harry‘ story called, ‘Jackanory Jackalope’…

jacka_gif_by_nymla-d8r8ffl

*/coughs … It’s a spring-time book, Clicky… /clears throat… There has to be a rabbit…*

… In witch, the Legend of the Jackalope is recounted by a…

My good friend, Cade, who has three fantabulous stories in UAV, imparted the legend to me. I hope I’ve been able to do it justice ❀

4ff1399596a83ae049d3575ee7ee5aba

*Okay… /drags… thanks for keeping me on track, Clicky… /blows smoke ring…*

The second thing, Dear Reader, is to say a big, fat ‘Happy Birthday’ to The Underdog…

Dr One

… And to give him his pressie, made by Cade, from both of us. Leggy may recognise the lyrics 😉

*My besties are SO fucking clever and talented, Clicky… /stubs butt… I AM the luckiest woman in the whirled…*

*Yes, you too, Clicky… /pats snout…*

Five Alive? Defo!

*Ah cool image, Clicky… /pat snout… Actually my hair hasn’t looked like that once this week… /lights up…*

Dear Reader, I have been on holiday these last couple of days, and have finally managed to write my short story about a hedge riding hag…

feather powered happiness

*I am pretty happy with the result, Clicky…/puffs…*

…and have submitted it to Leggy for inclusion in the upcoming ‘Underdog Anthology V‘. The story is called ‘Nine Lives’…

*I’ve still got time to mutilate a poem for the Afterword before I go back to work, Clicky… /drags… If I can find the right one… /billows smoke…*

I was also able to spend some time yesterday in the Blue universe. Frank Davis had been snooping around New York, after reading about the proposed bill to stop people from smoking whilst walking the streets of that fair city…

*They’re fucking unbelievable! …/flicks ash… First you can’t smoke inside, and now the utopian dreamers are trying to dictate where and how you can smoke outside… /deep drag… Nasty Not-sees indeed… /sighs…*

He was looking at street signs there and came across one that had him perplexed…

‘Just a few yards away was another really weird sign. I think it was some sort of aphorism. But I couldn’t make out what it said, because it seemed to be written in bleeding, dripping letters that said something like Afraid And Dead. I guess that if you were crossing 2nd Avenue and you stopped to try to figure out what the scary sign meant, you’d find out when you got hit by a truck.’

It puzzled me, too; however, the photo Frank included was somewhat fuzzy, so I sent Clicky off for a closer inspection…

sign for blue frank

*Much better but it still looks like worshipers or sumfin’ to me, Clicky… /drags deeply… In sinister black… /snorts smoke…*

… and find an answer.

school for deaf street sign new york

*Those are hands!*

hans gruber

*/reads slowly… School For Deaf …/squints… Dept of Transport… /final drag… Oh! The yellow buses! It’s a bus stop sign, Clicky! … /streams smoke…*

applause sign

*Alright, don’t take the piss… /stubs butt… Well done you, though, on working it out… There’s a good assistant… /pats snout…*

It was a sign for deaf school children, Dear Reader…

…As my good friend, Cade, might say…

‘MYSTERY SOLVED! NEXT!’

music sign

*Okay then…/lights up… And as you’re such a clever Clicky, you can choose…*

Dear Reader… Have a Song 😀

 

Breakfast Embed Part 3 – SkRAM Booled

HOWDY!!!

giphy3

*Wha? Whaddaya mean I fucked that up? Who the fuck are you, and what in the fuck do you know about what is or is not, fucked up? /me snorts*

Err…I mean, Greetings Dear Reader. I am still Mr. Slimey and I’m still filling in for RooBeeDoo and her Dolphin assistant Clicky, both of whom may in fact be vacationing somewhere in España. I’ve currently no proof to substantiate this claim, but maybe they’ll provide photographic and/or some other evidence upon their safe return.

 

giphy4

*Ya know, at a cursory glance, she appears to be both bipedal and reasonably agile/mobile. Why exactly she’s crawling around on all fours is…mysterious…*

It appears that there is indeed a need for this 3rd part, but let’s let the lady take over at this point, and she can steer us in the direction of wherever it is we need be.

*******

 

*I dunno, Clicky… /flicks lighter… I had started writing a post on the John Lamb Lash video talks… /shakes lighter… New format… /flicks lighter… He’s got a Limey companion now, called Ginny… /shakes lighter again… I’m enjoying the Anglo-Yank combo… /flicks lighter… Reminds of a sumfin’… /gives up and rummages through handbag…*

Not sure what Part 3, Cade thinks we need, Dear Reader…

* /rolls eyes… Oh okay, Clicky… /finds working light… *

This here is a post I started writing this afternoon, before Cade sent back the top and tailing for the Inchoate Egg story posts published earlier: Part 1 and Part 2. It’s called…

The Hierophant In The Womb

hierophant (n.)

“expounder of sacred mysteries,” 1670s, from Late Latin hierophantes, from Greek hierophantes“one who teaches the rites of sacrifice and worship,” literally “one who shows sacred things,” from hieros “sacred,” from PIE root *eis-, forming words denoting passion (see ire) + phainein“to reveal, bring to light” (from PIE root *bha- (1) “to shine”). In modern use, “expounder of esoteric doctrines,” from 1822.

This morning my good friend Shiny posted me a story link on MEROVEE, over in the Red universe, Dear Reader…

*A born to be wild thing, caught smoking… /lights up… And scientists are baffled, Clicky? …/scans text… Ah, Nag Role sumfin’ or another…  /deep drag… In D I A… /streams smoke…*

‘“I believe the elephant may have been trying to ingest wood charcoal,” said Dr Varun Goswami, WCS India scientist and elephant biologist.

‘“She appeared to be picking up pieces from the forest floor, blowing away the ash that came along with it, and consuming the rest.”’

And the reason the scientists think she’s taking up smoking, Dear Reader?

‘The charred lumps of wood can also serve as a laxative to the pachyderms who are able to consume it in the wild after forest fires and lightning strikes.’

belly laugh.gif

*/grins… And Shiny posted it in the Red ‘Excretion’ universe of MRS REGN? Priceless… /puffs merrily…*

capnomancy (n.)

“divination by smoke,” c. 1600, with -mancy“divination by means of” + Latinized form of Greek kapnos “smoke,” which is of uncertain origin, perhaps a non-Indo-European substrate word that also produced Lithuanian kvapas “breath, smell,”kvepiu, kvėpti “to gasp, breathe,” Latvian kvept“to smoke, smell,” and perhaps Latin vapor.

That’s as far as I got, Dear Reader. It is a “very great fact”, as John Lamb Lash might say, that elephants never forget…

Reich-ous Hitler lost his War, Dear Reader. So if Lashy is correct in his telling of the Sophia Correction narrative, it rather begs the question:

Q: If Adolf had the whole fucking planet on his side, how in the hell did he lose?

A: Could it be?

Nah! It’s not like tobacco is associated with a goddess or sumfin’…

‘And at the spot where they had burned First Mother’s bones, there grew another plant, broad-leafed and fragrant. It was First Mother’s breath, and they heard her spirit talking: “Burn this up and smoke it. It is sacred. It will clear your minds, help your prayers, and gladden your hearts.”

‘And First Mother’s husband called the first plant Skarmunal, corn, and the second plant utarmur-wayeh, tobacco.

‘“Remember,” he told the people, “and take good care of First Mother’s flesh, because it is her goodness become substance. Take good of her breath, because it is her love turned into smoke. Remember her and think of her whenever you eat, whenever you smoke this sacred plant, because she has given her life so that you might live. Yet she is not dead, she lives: in undying love she renews herself again and again.”’

Two things happened this week. One with little mainstream media coverage…

*/final drag…*

… And one saturated…

*/stubs butt…*

That’s quite enough for now, Dear Reader. Locking up the LoL for tonight before we get arrested… Have a Song 😉

*******

Thanks for having me 😀

giphy5

That’s all there is for now, and there ain’t no fucking more.

It’s time for you and all your parts, to hit the fucking door.

Get your seated ass de-planted, and get your knees unbent.

Put some swagger in those hips, just in time for end of Lent.

The eggzit is where you’re headed, head there now and soon.

Or else I’ll chase you out with my….say, where’d I put my broom?

giphy6

Seriously…I’m not fucking around…get gone.

❀