Missive from ‘Merica: Mother L’Ode

Come on, hands up if you were not entirely shocked by the passing of Debbie Reynolds, so soon after the death of her daughter, Princess Layers… */raises hand…*

Thoughtful Man’s first words upon hearing the news were “Poor Todd“. That he remembered the name of Debbie Reynold’s son and Carrie Fisher’s brother is entirely down to his fondness of a certain type of US TV show

*Clicky! No one is gonna get that reference other than Thoughtful Man… /thinks… although…*

Below, is another missive from Cade Fon Apollyon, Okie Devil chum, from Texas… He seems to have had a close encounter of his own with the Mothership… */oculi dilatanda…*


Don’t worry baby. I can’t see my fries either. Of course, my view is obscured from my huge fat gut. And I’ve always heard that things do not grow well in the shade. But I’m also ugly, so…meh. Why bother.

^No Mana – Nine^

I thought I would start off my daily thinking/writing session by attempting to do something clever in this particular writing. Something like…not speaking at all in this writing.

I mean, there will be writing, and there will be speaking of sorts, but it will not be me who is doing any of the speaking.

I will be writing of course, and I like to think that I do some thinking, but I guess that’s the problem right there, eh?

Just like always with me…a problem presents itself, and suddenly…there is the answer. I only THINK that I am thinking.

So why not take it to the next level, and stop speaking as well.

I guess that means that the next step beyond THAT…will be not typing.


^No Mana – Ten^


Welp…that worked out well, eh?

Another great idea brought to a swift and rapid conclusion through sheer boredom and lack of creativity. I’M FIRED!!!

I just fired myself.




^Dom Kane – Borg^

I decided to give myself a second chance, under the conditions that I take a HUGE increase in pay, a company dirigible, I wear a t-shirt with company logo on it daily, and I start to shower at least once every week or so…or at least cover myself in chemicals to make myself not smell so fucking rotten.

I sorta quasi-begrudgingly agreed on the conditions that all of these rules are subject to change, modification, retraction, redaction or suddenly forgotten about by accidentally dropping all agreements into a toxic paper shredder that is on fire. Although, I ain’t gonna be the one getting near that damn thing.

OK, OK…I’ll do it. I swear, I have to do EVERYTHING around here.

^Deadmau5 – Brazil (2nd Edit) (1080p) || HD^
Neuromodulation (Medicine)
Ideal Gas
Compressibility Factor
Equation of State
Reduced Properties
Ideal Gas Law
Benoît Paul Émile Clapeyron
Rudolf Clausius
Protestantism (Redirected from Protestant)
Azusa Street Revival
William J. Seymour
Great Awakening
Good Works
Big Bad Wolf
Cautionary Tale
Adolescence (Redirected from Adolescent)
Gas Composition
Atmosphere of Earth-Composition
Ozone Layer
Jacobi Elliptic Functions
Theta Function
Beta Wave
Mu Wave
/me waves
 /me shrugs
^deadmau5 “FML”^

A coupla hours ago, I was talking to someone on the phone, and they accused me of being “flippantly naive.” So after looking up both of those words on Google, to ensure the meaning(s) of those two words, and some serious brain-searching as to the meaning of those two words together, and some serious soul-searching as to the meaning of those two words together in reference to me…um…


I’m disrespecting my own stupid? Jesus H. Mother Fucking Christ a hoppin’ on a pogo stick…I’ve reached a new low (lol).


Yep…I’m some of that.

^Far Too Loud, Beardyman & JFB – Not A Real Thing^

The topic under discussion was “death”…and I simply put forward the notion that…

“You fucking synchrosnots or whatever, cream in your pants every fucking time that a celebrity dies, or some celebrity or politician loses their cool and pisses in the reporter pool’s punch, or someone firebombs a church that results in a large body count. Or some random raving madmen go on a 12 state killing spree, or some cop beats a kid to death for driving their Barbie Corvette on the street with out a license, registration, and proper state inspection and emissions testing…but you guys and gals don’t give a flying FUCK about these people when they are alive. I never heard anyone saying shit like…OH SO AND SO IS STILL ALIVE AND DOING FINE!!!NOTHING TO REPORT EXCEPT THEY ARE ALIVE AND WELL!!!”

To which the person I was speaking with was like…

“Oh bullshit. You know more than you lead others to believe. You pretend you don’t know what’s really going on, but you do. You are flippantly naive.”

I of course, being me, laughed…because I love it when people are brutally honest with me. It not only allows me to know what others are thinking of me, but it allows me to better evaluate what I think of myself. Not that I generally give a shit what others think about me, because most people don’t know me nor even wanna know me.

So why give a shit what others think? They don’t live in my skin…I do. Nor do I live in their skin. I tend to get under some people’s skin…such as my mother’s skin last night at dinner. But that’s a story for another paragraph. 😉

^Draft – Izumi^

So yesterday, I finally worked up the courage to call my mother and wish her a Merry Christmas. Yes, it was two days after Christmas. But we don’t talk. Plus, she was at my sister’s house out of town for the holidays. Not that I knew that. But I found out later via whatshername, so it was as good of an excuse as any to have not called. Not that I typically require an excuse, but I AM currently on the same side of town where she lives, so I felt a bit guilty for not calling even tho we don’t talk anymore.

I digress.

During the course of the conversation on the phone, my mother mentioned that she would like to take all of us to dinner. I’ll spare you the drama that it took to assemble what is left of several broken families and their opinions as to gathering for a grand total of an hour to feed our faces on my mother’s dime.

But it happened. 

I sat directly across from my mother and my soon to be ex-wife, and being that I am a slow eater, I was the last one still cramming Mexican food into my pie hole as the others drifted into “those” conversations. Yes…“those” conversations. You know…











oh and…


I took all I could take, quietly eating and trying to think of freaky sex as I choked down the greasy cheesy beef enchilada smothered in honey, when I finally reached my limit.

^Deadmau5 – Ghosts n Stuff^

When the topic of “Deep Vein Thrombosis” came up, and my mother started describing, in detail, the surgical procedures available, in conjunction with “whatshername the quasi-doctor” and her appraisals of the gore are carnage involved, as well as the procedures for preparing samples of tissues for evaluation to check for OTHER related and/or possible potential diseases and/or ailments that may require further treatment…I looked up, using my best cold stare, and said.

“I’m eating here.”

There were equally evil looks of shock, dismay sprinkled with “HOW DARE YOU!!!” types of vibes, along with the usual “We’re just talking” kinds of “if we want your opinion, we’ll give it to you” kinds of mumbled offendedness, and immediately returned to their morbid discussion.

So...I got nasty.

“I’m eating a greasy beef enchilada…I don’t really wanna be thinking about doctors removing 200 feet of defective blood veins from your fucking leg.”

The ice...was and/is...unbreakable.

I am a lightning rod of anger and rage…nothing more.

Push him far enough, and he will break.

And if he doesn't? 

Well…we’ll just have to try harder…won’t we?

I’ve prolly spent a grand total of 3 hours around my mother over the last 3 years.

That was 3 hours too many.

She doesn’t like me.

Never did.
^Marshmello – Alone (Official Music Video)^

I don’t mind being alone. Yeah, I like being around people as much if not more than most. But when you are alone for the first 20 years of your life? I mean really…what do they expect you to learn?

People skills? 

The only people skills I learned came from books, and sometimes movies and music. I learned that in my world…Yeah, there ARE people out there who get along just fine. I was just born where and when I was born. I learned to deal with it as best as I could, and I continue to learn how to deal with it as best as I can.

Everyone breaks. And when you are completely broken? Well…you are either there…or you will be. Hope is a great thing. It gives me, and has given me, hope that not everyone has to walk the path that I have. And this has fuckall to do with individuality…this is about purpose. You either have one, or you make one. Before long, you have difficulty telling the difference.

^deadmau5 – Closer (Cover Art)^

Yes…I know more than I let on. But there is a reason for that. Many reasons for that.

Just keep in mind who I work for, and the answers will come.

And if they don’t…I’m betting that you can even find peace in not knowing.

I sure do.

There are many things that I know, that I would rather not know.

They scare the shit out of me.

But I have a friend or two.

Even if I don’t know them…and even if they do not exist…I believe there is at least one person out there who believes in me and what I am doing.

The why…is irrelevant…because they already know why.

I cannot be what I am not.

But I can be what I can.

Weird how everything goes straight to hell from there…eh?


Because…suddenly…others are involved.

That means titles, labels, evaluations, opinions, and all KINDS of name calling…usually of the “unkind” sorts of kinds.

^Calvin Harris – I’m Not Alone (deadmau5 Mix) [lyrics in description] [HD/HQ]^

See how sometime psychology can actually get in the way of “progress?” Things like “ego” and “pride” and “selfishness” start getting bandied about the first rattle out of the bag…and it’s all downhill from there.

And it’s NEVER a two way street.

You can be prideful about doing your job correctly in assessing the defects and defectives…but I’m not allowed that privilege of doing it myself and saving you the time?

Governing kinda…gets in the way of self-governing. Especially on those occasions when you need help from someone else, get it…and now, they got their hooks into you. They gotta know EVERYFUCKINGDETAIL…because these laws, rules, regulations, and company guidelines are here for YOUR protection.


Good thing that I am happy here at the bottom of that hill…

In the valley…

Of the shadow of death…

HEY! That's MY shadow!!!

Being of the valley, I guess makes that valley mine.

Lemme help ya up.

You got better things to do than lay around thinking about death and dying.

That's my job.
^Deadmau5 – Where Phantoms Sleep 04^

X: You gonna let me talk?

Cade: Sure. I’ve been known to do that.

X: You sound…kinda…confident there.

0: Are you sure that you are not “overstating”…I think is what you are being asked.

Cade: How would I know?

Z: Allow me…

Cade: (lol)…OK…first time for everything.

Z: Just kiddin.

Cade: (lol) OK…first time for everything.

X: Yer gonna pay for that.

T: In spades.

B: Say WHAT?!?!?

Cade: I dunnot think that means what you think it means.

X: I may or may not reserve the right to withdraw my support at any time.

Cade: That’s…reassuring.

X: It wasn’t meant to be.

Cade: Well…it is.

X: Mission accomplished. You fail again. Get out. You pass.

Cade: (lol) Yeah…it’s hard to pass a test that you can only pass by failing.

Z: How does that work?

A: Yeah, and why do you leave me out so much?

B: Yeah…me too!

T: Leave me outta this.

X: I wanna hear this…

Z: Me too…maybe…

0: …

Cade: Goodnight.

X: <rawr>

Cade: How’s that.

X: We’ll see.

0: Unless you don’t.

Z: Maybe.

Cade: Goodnight.

X: …

Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified

X: That’s a big one.

0: What do you want ME to say here?

Cade: Nothin…just…whatevz. Workin.

A: Work harder.

Cade: K…I’ll get right on that.

B: Don’t get left.

Cade: Bing->Goes->Bang->Goes->….

Z: Boom Baby!!!

Cade: 🙂

X: … 😉

^No Mana – Array of Sirens^
^First Of The Year (Equinox) – Skrillex [OFFICIAL]^


*/cocks head… Clicky? …/squints…*

*Debbie hurry? Oh for gawd’s sake… /rolls eyes…*


6 thoughts on “Missive from ‘Merica: Mother L’Ode

  1. Does “willfully ignorant” work better for you? I still think “flippantly naive” hits the nail on the head.
    You act like you saw the sunrise on “synchros” before everybody else. 😉
    Yeah…you know what I’m talking about…but you’re acting like you don’t know…b/c you don’t wanna to be schooled on anything. Welcome to class, Smartass.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. >>>>You act like you saw the sunrise on “synchros” before everybody else.
        Nah. Just…kinda…alone. They’ve always been there, I just never knew what they were. I just seem to be the only one that talks about it from my experience that doesn’t go through a fuckton of people that I do not know to make these “connections.” Meaning celebrities and “famous people.” That seems to be an awful lot of additional stress and stresses to put on these people, for no other reason than they are “rich” and/or “famous.” They ARE, still just people afterall. They just…do what they do…just like everybody else. Not to mention the pressures it puts on the people researching this shit, to find more and more “more obvious” connections using the same channels that they seem to damn over and over again. The media, medias and the mediums that connect us to these channels. Oh…and “the mass media”…whatever in the FUCK that is. /me rolls eyes

        The problem with media as I see it? The automated portions. Yes…people built and designed those things. But they are designed to be rigid. Almost a “the camera does not lie” kind of mentalities that makes absolutely no fucking sense to me. Guess that’s why everyone is so goddamn focused on “truth”…and primarily…every fucking truth in The Universe…except for their own. Has a kinda…reassuring ring to it eh? 😉

        Whatever works.

        That said, I still don’t know how to explain my “physical experience” with the…erm…storms. The ones that are a little…more…externalized and visible, and a little less…erm…chakra-ish…at least from the internal/spiritual side of the classical representation(s). Which I know very little about, save for there is anywhere from 6 to 7 to 108 or more. Some of us appear to have even more than that…and it seems to sometimes have absolutely fuckall to do with glowing orbs of spiritual energy/energies emanating from our auras as we sit peacefully in the lotus position in blissful, gleeful….erm…bliss. lol

        Some of us…have injuries of all kinds that may make Ms. Kundalini really have to crack her fucking knuckles, break out the specialized “special case” diagrams, set fire to them…and then just kinda…”wing it.” Almost sounds…life-ish. Cause after all…aren’t we all “special cases?” I just feel sorry for the ol’ girl, having to be weaving through my busted assed self…and is like…”What in the FUCK happened here?!?!?!? What in the HELL do you expect me to do with this shit?!?!?”

        I think I commented about that in one of my posts, where I envisioned God coming into my gut to have a look around in that area where I have the hernia/hernia repair in my navel, because that medical mesh is still in there from 27 years ago and is all knotted up…and God is like…
        “I love what you’ve done with the place.”

        Not all straight lines are round. (Chew on that one…I know I will.)
        Think: Neutrons and Dark Matter/Energy
        Now bring it home.
        We are here…yeah?
        All the shit to be learned/known is here yeah?
        There’s another one down…couple shitloads of fucktons to go.

        On another note…
        Since there seems to be multiple “TEDs” these days…like TED and TEDx and and TEDMED and …read about it yourself…

        Anyway…I’m thinking about petitioning them to start a new group…
        TED Uber-Under Class xExtreme
        For us dimwitted dumbasses that want to teach our stupidity to the world, and share new techniques of stupid to other dumbasses like ourselves.

        Our motto(s)…
        There’s only one way to be smart. But many are the paths to stupid.
        Help us help you lose your way!
        NOW GET LOST!!! lol

        /me duucx

        Memory…is kinda like a double-edge sword that rotates, and cuts no matter when or where it is. You can't just remember "the good stuff"…lotta "bad stuff" in there as well, and you really have to work to suppress them BOTH. Not just one or the other. To me, I guess thinking about it now…it helps keep the memories as accurate as possible. There DOES seem to be a layering there with respect to memories of both past and present, with respect to remembering old memories whilst creating new ones at the same time. We can usually only think about or focus on one thing at a time, but the mind/brain/body is MUCH more dynamic than that. Sure…we can focus. And we are taught that “a wandering mind” is a bad thing. See the layering there? I do. Sometimes out bodies do what they do, because that’s what they need to do, when they need to do it. Labeling someone as “a dreamer” or a bad seed or a poor student, just because they do not conform, or even labeling someone as a good seed, focused and a good student…can be just as damaging. Afterall…most teachers only get a student for a short period of time.
        Q: What molds the clay that makes the pot? The mold? Or the molded clay?
        Q: Who made the mold?

        Food for thought. ❤

        Thanks for inspiring me to spam up Roobs blog even further Jen. 😉

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Well, I think the media is a conduit to perceiving the whole “synchro”. We all vibrate and h/cum together. No pressure is put on celebs or others in the media to be anything other than what they are…or were. They mirror the whole. They were dead while living. Now they represent Daath and Rebirth…a New Way…Know Way…a Door Way. You KNOW. Stop acting like you don’t KNOW. 🙂
          ~ ❤ Me

          Liked by 1 person

          1. This is not directed at you Jen. But thanks for getting me stirred up. 😉

            >>>>No pressure is put on celebs or others in the media to be anything other than what they are…or were.
            I smell a US Supreme Court case/ruling.

            Public Figure – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_figure
            New York Times Co. v. Sullivan – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_Times_Co._v._Sullivan

            I guess this is a question as to “ghost writing” and MAYBE even something to do with blogs, bloggers, YouTube, YouTubers, The Media, The Press, and all sorts of electronic based whathaveyou “personalities” and whatnot.

            MAYBE…this even has to do with “content creators” and advertisers on YouTube, now going so far as to embed/embedding advertisements in the videos themselves, so as to “get around” ad-blocking software. I’ve seen it. And I’m still not sure what to make of it, other than a return to 50’s television types of models where there is no fucking way around the shit, other than avoiding it altogether. Which is what I generally practice, because I see other kinds of seedy shit going on, and other types of seedy shit being possible to plausible, that others are willing to take that step with no regard for the person and or persons on the other end. Of course. This ALSO means a level of removal is necessary. Which means all sorts of tests and testing, that you have NO FUCKING CLUE…as to the long term effects…long after your “support periods” have expired.

            That said, I don’t live in a tree on Mars. And even if I did, I be picking up the slurry of bullshit being slung by some on this planet. And I’m still trying to operate from the perspective of…
            “Assuming that I DID live in a tree on Mars…I wouldn’t be alive for very long. There are MANY types of life and lifeforms that are indigenous to Earth/Terra, that I rely on to remain alive. The current models of space exploration and space travel, fail to include the “real life” aspect of travel to places where we are not from. Meaning…just because you send resupply shuttles/capsules up a coupla hundred miles, full of all kinds of Earth Goodies for the people staying for long periods of time up there? We are still in proximity to this planet, and no matter how “clean” you make the shit…it’s still stuff from Earth/Terra. Which means land, sea, and air. The fact that we are sending “Nuclear Fueled” spacecraft to other planets bothers me greatly. What happens when/if our own explorers get there someday, and the whole fucking place is ruined, or these explorers are killed by our own toxic shit that we dumped there long ago? Does anyone REALLY wanna get near that little bastard that is creeping around on the surface of Mars, fueled by Plutonium? We have trouble dealing with that shit here. What in the FUCK are we doing sending this shit out there where it obviously does not belong? This has nothing to do with “radition” that is so prevalent in The Universe. This has to do with responsibility and being responsible. Are you gonna rope off half off Mars because we dumped some Plutonium fueled rover off to explore shit, it goes fucking haywire, or even not, there is STILL a fucking hazard sitting there that we have NO FUCKING CLUE what that thing is gonna be doing tomorrow…let alone 500 years from now. And yet, as I write this…two days before the year 2016 CE turns to 2017 CE…what happened to AD? Or even, what did AD become? An ADvertisement? There are two nuclear power plants that we have no FUCKING CLUE what to do with, other than dumping more metric fucktons of cement(s) and shields and shielding over it, then put a sign on it that tells future generations…”SORRY YOU HAVE 9 ARMS and 13 HEADS AND DROOL TOXIC SLUDGE BECAUSE OF OUR FUCKUP!!! HAVE A NICE DAY!!!”

            Assuming they can even read. Assuming you put the shit in the correct language or a language they can even read. Can they even read? Or did we just say “FUCK IT” and burn the whole goddamn mess down? I’d hate to be the one to make that call…human(s) or deity(s) or any other lifeform(s)/entity(ies) that could make that call. I think that is important, because humans sometimes forget…we aren’t the only life here. We’re just the life and lives and lifeforms that we are.

            We can do it better. We HAVE to do it better.
            Q: Do you know when you are “over-extended?”
            A: How?
            Painful lesson to be learned there eh?
            Q: Who “pays” for that?
            A: ?Yeah…I dunno either¿

            Yep. These are the kinds of things that I think about, but have never really spoken about before.
            I’m not correct most of the time…I know this.
            But I think we can be more correct than we sometimes give ourselves credit for.
            Hopefully, our legacies will be as forgiving to us, as we are to ourselves eh?
            I would’t count on it tho. (Nod to the movie “The Breakfast Club”)

            I love exploration. But not at the expense of future explorers.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s