Haven’t the Foggiest…


The telephone ring cut through the cacophony of noise emanating from Thing One in the front room. “NnnneeeerrrR… DOOF DOOF DOOF DOOF… NnnneeeerrrR…”

“Keep it down, Loob,” I implored politely of my child and picked up the receiver. “Hello?”

“Have you looked out the window?” Thoughtful demanded by way of greeting. I hadn’t – it’s December and dark already; I hadn’t seen the point. Fortunately I didn’t need to. “Fucking fog!” he informed me.

I went to look anyway. A dense wall of white was revealed as I peeked through the blinds. “Jesus! That’s thick!” I confirmed into the receiver. “Who the hell would want to go out in this weather on New Year’s Eve Eve?”

“Not me,” Thoughtful Man said with the crackled sigh.

“Deadly! Deadly! Three O’Clock! NnnneeeerrrR… DOOF DOOF DOOF-”

“Loopy! Kindly shut the fuck up. I am on the phone!” I was sharper than I could have been but if I’d heard him call Deadly’s name once already, I’d heard it several dozen times. And I really didn’t need to hear it again at that precise moment. “How long you gonna stay out in this?” I asked Thoughtful Man tentatively.

I glanced at the TV screen showing smokey Battlefront skies as Loopy, now silent, zoomed through them, shooting at other WW1 airplanes…

*Oh is that what it sounds like? Thanks, Click. I usually only hear Looby’s voice…*


*Yeah he can have a problem with his volume control… Now stop interrupting… Where did I get to? Oh yeah, Thoughtful Man…*

“As long as I have to. I dunno, I’ll play it by ear, ” Thoughtful Man replied.

*Huh? He is not full of constant sorrow, Clicky… Okay, sometimes… mostly Fridays… /frowns… What day is it today?*



“Well, come home if it gets any worse,” I cooed down the receiver. “There’s no point you sitting around freezing your bollocks off, waiting for non-existent customers.”

Thoughtful Man huffed. “I’ll see how it goes. I’ll ring you later. Bye.”

“Okay then, bye. I love you,” I answered but he’d already rung off. I took one last look out the window, then turned back toward Thing One and ruffled his thick blonde locks. “Alright  arseache, I’m off the phone now. Carry on.”

I returned to my Library couch to continue perusing the news.


The United States Department of State gained the metonym “Foggy Bottom” when it moved its headquarters to the nearby Harry S Truman Building in 1947.

*Just think. There’s going to be ‘Trump’s ‘Foggy Bottom’, Clicky… /squints… Song to end?*

16 thoughts on “Haven’t the Foggiest…

  1. Hope ThoughfulMan got home safely. I do love dense fog though. Very cozy! 🙂
    Happy New Years Eve, Roobs and friends! ❤
    BTW…Do Limeys eat black-eyed-peas for New Years?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy New Year to you Jen.

      Yes he did and he’ll shortly be off out for another night of ensuring drunk people get home okay. I’d say it’s mostly kebabs fueling British revelers this time of year…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Since you appear to be bored and have nothing better to do other than…being bored…isn’t THAT something to do tho? Anyway…yeah…I have a London Fog trenchcoat…it’s black……not grey…go figure…anyway…what was I talking about? Oh yeah…boredom…I’m bored…anyone else bored? I’m always bored when I’m doing something like…writing. Does it show?

    Here. Let’s be bored together.

    I got to wear my new shoes yesterday. Finally found some new neon-lime-green shoestrings to go with my new black shirts, old grey toboggan and my generally pissy but potentially upbeat sad-sack demeanor. Oh, and those new shoestrings seem to fit in the shoes ok too. At least SOMETHING went right.

    I’m gonna be making a video later for a certain someone/someones.

    Anyone wanna see it?


    Suck on this with your ear-holes while I wait / we wait / whoever waits.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Whilst I’m waiting…

      ‘So…it appears that some things move, and some things do not move.
      Q: When something that does not normally move…moves…now what?
      A: ?¿?
      Q: When something that normally moves…no longer moves…now what?
      A: ¿?¿’

      Is that not when the immovable object meets the unstoppable force?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. >>>>Is that not when the immovable object meets the unstoppable force?
        I was just thinking about this as well.

        Situationally…something like that which thee saideth aboveth. But you have to think about that third option…which is…the unstoppable force that is also an immovable object. Plus the built in fallacies of less compound words that are compound concepts…such as…
        “Immovable” Object
        “Unstoppable” Force

        It leaves gaps to think about, or even ignore, concepts like…
        a) Immovable Force
        b) Unstoppable Object
        c) Immovable Unstoppable Force
        d) Immovable Unstoppable Object
        e) Whatevz

        Q: If you slam an Earth/Terra sized planet into a Sol sized sun, which one “wins?”
        A: When?
        When time and times over time is left out…so is everything else.

        Can you imagine facilitating a test such as above, just because you had the power to do so, then coming back to the “test site” sometime later…and that star that you thought “won the battle”…just ain’t fucking there no more. And yet, all your calculations showed that the star in question should not only still be there, it should continue to have been there for LONG after when you scheduled to come back and check on it.
        Q: What did you leave out?
        A: Everything you did.
        Such as…
        All of your calculations were based on “prior to” the event. After that…EVERYTHING is an unknown.
        Q: Why?
        A: Change and changes over time over times over time.

        I’m just waiting on the camera operator. They seem to be skittish about my plan(s) for “the unveil”…knowing a bit about me…I’m sure they are sure that I will do something that will embarrass them and/or offend the viewer(s).

        I would NEVER do that…
        …unless I can pull it off. (heh heh heh)

        I’ll throw one last thought in here with respect to singularities, singular, pluralities, and plural…
        “A” immovable object/unstoppable force
        “A” immovable object(s)/unstoppable force(s)

        And people think that NOT knowing is a bitch eh?
        Knowing? Well…it’s a different animal entirely…ain’t it? 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  3. It didn’t happen today and it wasn’t my fault! And besides…I love to ice skate. 2 freestyle championships under my belt during my youth, thank you very much! But as for video…who knows…maybe tomorrow.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s