Missive from ‘Merica: Fear & Loathing in Glass Vases…

That’s American ‘vases’, Dear Reader…

As promised from there to here, for your delectation, Real Dealer, is the latest TextAss missive from the Okie Devil, Cade FON Apollyon…

 

Enjoy! ❤

*******

THE FUTURE!!!
WE MUST FEAR IT!!!
200w

Yep.
Dunno about fear and fear alone.

Nor even fearing fear itself, or fearing being alone.

Long road of…erm…whatever and stuff going on there eh?

“Long” road.

Long “road.”

Seem that road got all kinds of dynamic real quick to me.

But…what the fuck do I know.

735f01017a8b62c576797c72d6d5c698
Oh…hello there. Your attention is required at the front of the bus.
Step forward please as I call your name(s).

(lolz)

I dunno if anyone cares about anything…but I do. I’ve started a new started group that is far-reaching and forwards looking like no other group that is far-reaching and forward looking. I have yet to come up with a clever name for this endeavor, but that’s not my job…that’s the marketing department’s job. What my job is, is to have vision and be a visionary. That takes vision and forewardlooking out-of -the-box types of thinking that others simply do not have. Why do they not have it? Because I have it…and they don’t.

Massive piles of money and resources…

…I need them.

Let’s run this up the lag pole, and see who salutes.

No. That is NOT a typo. Just a play on words based on where “we are” and “when we are” with respect to the concepts known as “the public” or “the general public” with respect to “the developed world” or developed nations” and other similar uppity titles that don’t really mean much of anything. My thinking is this “infiltration of” and “exploitation of” type of thinking that has become so prevalent, that there MUST be something to it.

Ironic....eh?

If I draw a picture of something, and outline the use and usage(s) of that something, and that something, its use and usages do not actually exist…and tout it publicly as “the next big thing”…for the sole purpose of seeing the public’s reaction to this certain something and it’s purpose(s)…have I committed fraud? Or was I simply “floating an idea” to see if I could garner interest in it? Is that still fraud?

What in the FUCK am I talking about?

This “Fake News” bullshit.

What exactly is “The Lag Pole” you might be asking yourself. Welp, it’s a concept that I just came up with my very-own motherfucking self. It’s a concept, that in name and concept, so startled me, that I decided to look it up on Google.

the lag pole

I looked through the first 6 pages of Google Search results…and nothing.
Well…it appears that “lag poles” do in fact exist…

Lead–Lag Compensator

I also found this…

Anaphase Lag

But I digress.

There is a saying with respect to ideas that goes something like…”Let’s Run It Up The Flagpole, And See Who Salutes.” But my thinking was with respect to using the speed of technology and information proliferation, and our thinking with respect to information flow and it’s speed since the advent more “modern” transportation modes and methods. Such as Print, Telegraph, Radio, Telephone, Television and The Internet. What we seem to have forgotten about is “word of mouth”…or at least, with respect to The Internet…we’ve gotten pretty damn confused about it. But irrespective of that, what my primary thinking is…we tend to think of information in terms of “is it available, or is it not”…and then take our freaking the fuck out from there.

So yeah…disinformation and it’s further classifications, dissemination and

interpretation(s) from there.

giphy
It seems that…people…are…confused.

Frustrated…even.

Angry? I dunno….maybe.

I’ve not been officially certified by the official certification certifiers delegation to make such an observation/estimation/classification or other “tion” type of stunning shunning.

WoW!!! I sound angry…don’t I?

X: Stop with the “leading” types of observations/estimations/proclamations…K?
Cade: Will try. 🙂
X: That’s not good enough.
Cade: I quit.
X: That’s not good enough.
Cade: Will try.
X: Good enough. 🙂
Cade: 🙂
D: …
Cade: “F” is prolly more like it.
F: K.
D: Good enough.
X: Heh heh heH.
D: …
F: …
E: You forgot someone.
Cade: DOH!

G: ...

Cade: LOL…WTF?!?!?!?
X: Freaky….
Z: Isn’t it?
Cade: Erm…yeah. Whatevz.
Z: That’s not good enough.
Cade: LOL…stop it. Yer killin mee.
X: No comment.
D: …

We seem to live in an imperfect world.

I dunno. It just seems that the more that we try and build infrastructure based on perfection in this imperfect world, the more that we ignore the perfection of this imperfect world. The more that we block and cage ourselves. The more that we point out and ignore this “cage” that we live in…if that even makes sense. We get so wrapped up in the motion of our own life and lives, that we forget about the motion and motions of this planet and the Universe that we live in. We are always in motion. We are always in motion that is in motion. To relate…the other day I titled one of my posts with the phrase…“Hello Whirled” in that title. I think there is some mention of motion and motions in some of these “ancient texts” that are full of non-factual myth and myths. I take that to mean…well…something mean to our forebearers and forefathers/foremothers. As if they were somehow stupid, dumb, or any other negative term and/or terms. And yet we forget that they are the reason(s) that we are here.

Q: Is intelligence built on stupidity smart?

A: Good…fucking…luck with this one.

Q: Can we not forgive our predecessors for their naivety and non-knowing?

A: …

I dunno jack-shit. But I do know that my prayer and hope has always been that my children are a FUCKTON smarter than me. Not to set the bar too high or too low or anything. But we do always seem to be presented with opportunity and opportunities at the goddamndest of times.

Q: Do we take it?

A: I dunno. Do we?

"NuYu" Weight Loss Retreat Helps Battle Australia's Obesity Crisis
The fish…they are drowning.

Something…it must be done.

as-d
Is the above a proclamation of pride?

Or guilt?

Or both?

I mean srsly, it’s gotta be difficult to make those decisions to spend that kind of time, effort and resources on something like that. That is of course, unless it isn’t difficult to make those decisions. But I think that is known as sociopathic behavior. And THAT can’t be right, because these are publicly funded projects by of and for the betterment of the public. I mean, at $500,000 per minute to operate a machine like this? There’s gotta be some HUGE payoff in store for us with that kind of investment just in operating costs. I bet it’s gonna start spewing Big Mac’s and french fries to the less fortunate at any moment. I dunno about the drink tho. Prolly comes separately unless you spring for the combo-meal deal.

Plus they prolly don’t allow drinks in there.

Liquids would extinguish those fluids.

And that would suck for a $2.00 beverage to fuck up some multi-billion dollar machine.

I guess the real problem is control.

We need more of it…obviously.

The only way to control that which cannot be controlled is to try and contain and control it. And the only way to do that is by controlling the controls that control the uncontrollable. In this case and under these circumstances…control will be more controlled and we can and will be more controlling of the controls that control the uncontrollable.

Simple!

In fact, so simple, that it may just be too easy.

We must investigate further.

Further controls and controlling may be required.

SAY!

Q: When was the last time you got laid?

A: Me either.

I dunno. I gots no answers.
We prolly just need to get laid or something.

You busy?

5-20
X: Wut kinda nightmares ya want today?
Cade: Say wut?
0: Nightmares…what kind?
Cade: I dunno. I had some doozies last night…that’s for sure.
X: Are you sure?
Z: No…he is not sure.
Cade: I still hold that my dreams are for me. Even if I wrote them down…who the fuck would want to read that kind of crazy?
T: David Lynch?
Cade: Yeah right. That motherfucker is already nutso insane.
X: And?
Cade: He’s got his dreams…
Z: And you have yours.
T: Is that it?
Cade: As pretty much the smartest motherfucker to ever walk the face of The Earth/Terra, are you really gonna tell me you don’t know?
T: I ain’t tellin you NOTHIN!
Cade: Trends. They are…erm…trendy.
T: 😉
Cade: Love you too.
T: Really?
Cade: No.
T: Really?
Cade: No.
T: Coo.
Cade: ❤ u too.
X: AHEM!!! So anyway…what’s this all about?
Z: That plasma generator thingie or whatever it was. Cade thinks that he is the only person on Earth/Terra.
Cade: Well, not currently…but eventually.
Z: You sure about that?
0: I must interject here for a moment.
Cade: Yawn
0: Srsly. You have no clue, if that fusion reactor has been built or is just the basic design.
Cade: And how would I know what is happening anywhere I am not?
0: Well…what if you did know what was happening…would that matter?
Cade: The basic design is from the 1980’s?
X: I ain’t tellin.
Z: Neither am I.

G: How in the FUCK could you possibly know that?

Cade: Not much has changed in the way of technology and information with respect to application over the last 200 years.
X: That’s a bold claim.
A: VERY bold.
Cade: What has changed with respect to fusion since The Universe began?
X: BOOYA!!!
Z: Agreed.
0: I gotta admit…the boy has a point there.
T: What if I won’t allow it.
Cade: /me shrugs…doesn’t concern me until and unless and when it does.
X: Then why are you interested in such things?
Cade: …
Z: Cagy.
Cade: …
A: …
X: …
Z: …
Cade: …
0: …

20170127_map_0
I have no idea what is going on in the picture above? But someone fucked up MAJORLY!!!
Some asshole seems to have forgotten to include California, and exclude Texas.

Heads will roll.

aggravatingtimelyairedale
Doesn’t fake have to be real in order to be fake?
I mean like…”fake” has to be real, in order for something “real” to be “fake.”
And even then? Yeah…it’s fake. REALLY motherfucking fake.
I dunno, I get as confused as anyone I guess.

HEY!!! LET’S SEE WHAT’S GOING ON @ GOOGLE NEWS!!!!!!!! !!! !

==================================================
Trump Says ‘Go Nuclear’ as Democrats Gird for Gorsuch Fight

==================================================
White House puts Iran ‘on notice,’ won’t rule out military force
http://www.politico.com/story/2017/02/iran-on-notice-trump-michael-flynn-234503
==================================================
The Big Bang Theory’s Johnny Galecki unwittingly releases Samara in terrifying new Rings clip
http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/big-bang-theorys-johnny-galecki-9737900
==================================================
Hillary Clinton to Reflect on Election Loss to Donald Trump in New Book
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/hillary-clinton-reflect-election-loss-donald-trump-new-book-970908
==================================================
Brexit: MPs overwhelmingly back Article 50 bill
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-38833883
==================================================
Israel to build entirely new settlement in West Bank
http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/01/middleeast/israel-settlements-approved/
==================================================
Presidential Executive Orders And The Constitution: What Can Trump Really Do?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-schultz/presidential-executive-or_b_14544996.html
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LGBT GROUPS BRACE FOR TRUMP RELIGIOUS FREEDOM EXECUTIVE ORDER
http://www.newsweek.com/lgbtq-trump-executive-order-550424
==================================================
Air Force base: 1 killed, 1 injured in New Mexico training
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/02/01/air-force-base-1-killed-1-injured-in-new-mexico-training.html
==================================================
Facebook beats in Q4 with $8.81B revenue, slower growth to 1.86B users
Facebook beats in Q4 with $8.81B revenue, slower growth to 1.86B users
==================================================
After a wild 2016, Tesla Motors has officially changed its name — here’s a look back
http://www.businessinsider.com/tesla-year-in-review-again-2017-2
==================================================
NY sues Charter/Time Warner Cable, alleges false promise of fast Internet
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/02/ny-sues-chartertime-warner-cable-alleges-false-promise-of-fast-internet/
==================================================
Beyoncé’s Glorious Baby Bump: A Middle Finger to Conspiracy Theorists and Political Rallying Cry
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2017/02/01/beyonce-s-glorious-baby-bump-a-middle-finger-to-conspiracy-theorists-and-political-rallying-cry.html
==================================================
Dwight Freeney vs. the Patriots; how NBA teams helped Atlanta
http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000781767/article/dwight-freeney-vs-the-patriots-how-nba-teams-helped-atlanta
==================================================
Massive lava stream exploding into ocean in Hawaii
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/article130128419.html
==================================================
Forget Atlantis: ‘Lost continent’ found under Indian Ocean
http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/sciencefair/2017/02/01/lost-continent-mauritius-indian-ocean/97341786/
==================================================
Tooth infection leads to 26-year-old California dad’s death
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2017/02/01/tooth-infection-leads-to-26-year-old-california-dads-death.html
==================================================
‘Get off your phone’: Day care sign chastises parents
http://www.whio.com/news/national/get-off-your-phone-day-care-sign-chastises-parents/IJKPtF30AOj4FobQlnGtwK/
==================================================
Trump is about to be the reason we can’t have nice things
http://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trump-starts-trade-wars-2017-2
==================================================

As we can see…the world spins on.

HELLO WHIRLED!!!

Can you hear me?

HEY!!! LET’S DO A RANDOM WIKIPEDIA WHATEVER WHILE WE ARE AT IT!!!!!!!! !!! !

==================================================
NOT VERY RANDOM AT ALL STYLE!!!!!! (random space here) !
==================================================
Dissemination – in the field of communication, means to broadcast a message to the public without direct feedback from the audience.
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Discrete – discrete in science is the opposite of continuous: something that is separate; distinct; individual.
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Numbers Station – a shortwave radio station characterized by broadcasts of formatted numbers, which are believed to be addressed to intelligence officers operating in foreign countries. Most identified stations use speech synthesis to vocalize numbers, although digital modes, such as Phase-shift keying and Frequency-shift keying as well as Morse code transmissions are not uncommon.
==================================================
Intelligence Officer – a person employed by an organization to collect, compile and/or analyze information (known as intelligence) which is of use to that organization. The term of ‘Officer’ is a working title, it is not to be confused with rank as in the police where sergeants are also ‘Police Officers,’ and enlisted Military ranks can be Intelligence Officers as well.
(NOTE FROM CADE: Hehe…”it is not to be confused”…”it is not to be confused with”)
==================================================
Discrete Group – in mathematics, a discrete subgroup of a topological group G is a subgroup H such that there is an open cover of H in which every open subset contains exactly one element of H; in other words, the subspace topology of H in G is the discrete topology.
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Discrete Category – in mathematics, in the field of category theory, a discrete category is a category whose only morphisms are the identity morphisms:
==================================================
Discrete Mathematics – the study of mathematical structures that are fundamentally discrete rather than continuous. In contrast to real numbers that have the property of varying “smoothly”, the objects studied in discrete mathematics – such as integers, graphs, and statements in logic – do not vary smoothly in this way, but have distinct, separated values.
==================================================
Discrete-Time Signal – a time series consisting of a sequence of quantities. In other words, it is a time series that is a function over a domain of integers.
==================================================
Discrete Space – a particularly simple example of a topological space or similar structure, one in which the points form a discontinuous sequence, meaning they are isolated from each other in a certain sense.
==================================================
Discrete Spline Interpolation – in the mathematical field of numerical analysis, discrete spline interpolation is a form of interpolation where the interpolant is a special type of piecewise polynomial called a discrete spline.
==================================================
Discrete Time and Continuous Time – in mathematics and in particular mathematical dynamics, discrete time and continuous time are two alternative frameworks within which to model variables that evolve over time.
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Discrete Optimization – a branch of optimization in applied mathematics and computer science.
==================================================
Discretion – has the meaning of acting on one’s own authority and judgement. In law, discretion as to legal rulings, such as whether evidence is excluded at a trial, may be exercised by a judge. Some view discretion negatively, while some view it positively. Discretion is at all levels of law enforcement.
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Power (Social and Political) – the ability to influence or outright control the behavior of people. The term “authority” is often used for power perceived as legitimate by the social structure.
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Probability Distribution– a random variable that can be counted.
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YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Random shit := Random.

Q: What are the odds that I would, as an individual, stumble across the bullshit on Wikipedia that I just posted?

A: I dunno either. But I do know that only certain fish swim in certain streams.

Take that as you so desire.

tmogg0s
Sometimes those answers we seek that come real fucking fast? Yep…they just don’t make no fucking sense at all. Not that the unfortunate you lady above was suddenly pondering the mysteries of The Universe or anything…but at the same time…yeah…she was prolly doing exactly that…but it’s a fairly good representation of I how I feel inside when I have had those moments of mental clarity where it appears that a longstanding question has suddenly been answered…that “wow” and “no-way” and “yes-way”…followed by a shitload of more questions. Granted, I have all kinds of unkind physical nonsense that has happened to me along my path and paths, where I can empathize with the girl above.

Wow…that was a long senence-ish type of thought.

Whodathunkit?

But I digress.

It’s an ass kicker…no doubt about it. What must have gone through her mind real sudden like? I have some ideas in a “been there, done that” kind of generality that seems kind of dismissive to someone who hasn’t had a similar experience, save for experiencing what someone else is experienced in what is typically classified as more removed observer participant who has limited function and/or interest in the goings on. I guess something to the effect of what my parents must have gone through when I came home bloody and battered and beat-up, then got yelled at and beat-up some more for getting beat-up. Weird eh? Yes…I fault them for that, but I also don’t. They did the best they could. What a great learning example of what not to do eh? All wrapped up with some great suggestions on what to do should a similar situation arise. But that is or can be a problem eh? Similar is not same. Similarly same? Sure. That’s why we do the best we can.

Q: Why does justification always seem to require a body count?

A: (Don’t play coy here) or (Play coy here) whatevz.

Whatever works...right?

So…what am I thinking with respect to this “The Lag Pole?” Welp…speed. There’s a saying within the realm of card playing…”think long, think wrong”…and I assume that the logic there is that the more odds and options that you calculate within a longer timespan, the more complex and convoluted those options will become. But, it tends to be your opponent who will say this to you, which means that they are trying to compel you to “stop thinking” by becoming emotional. Cards/card games of any type are emotional, so what you can infer is that distraction is the intent. Perhaps even “breaking your concentration. But cards and card games are a reduction/narrowing type of thinking mode by it’s design. Even as the number of cards increase, the intent and purpose is to reduce…reduction by groups and grouping.

 Kinda creepy...eh?

tumblr_myisgazb0g1s85u2fo1_500
So if your intent is to “bury” some person or group under a deluge of information?

Welp…people are smarter than you think they are.

Don’t believe me?

Find a mirror.

Now that we have intelligence and/or smartz of “a certain individual” established…now all we need is intent and intentions.

Once we get that, we can figure out from who and where and when.

How is irrelevant.

Hello why!

Right back where we started.

Hello denial!!! Nice ta see ya’z…again.

OH! And you might want to consider that…not everyone buries/surrounds themselves with shitloads of data. We’re already surrounded by shitloads of fucktons of shitloads of data and information, that some might not even consider as “data” or “valid data”…contextually anyway.

Guess that explains law and laws eh?

Mystery = SOLVED! Next!

 

Cade: Got anything?
X: …
Cade: That’s what I figured.
Z: Not by my calculations.
Cade: fucking…rofl…thx.
Z: n/p 😉
X: I wrote that.
Cade: 🙂 ❤
X: …

One last thought on deception with respect to perception…

Q: Have you ever heard of the concept known as “Thuh Blag Po-Wool?”

A: ???

Welp…you have now.

So if you answered anything other than “yes” in that what was already a state of befuddlement because you had never heard that term before, nor were you aware of what it was, nor the reason(s) for being asked such a question…see how easy it is to become confused? So yeah, in retrospect, you should have answered “no” if you had never heard that term…which you shouldn’t have, because I just made it up here on this fine Thursday morning of February 2nd of the year 2017 @ 04:50 AM Central Standard Time. Hey…ya know what?

IT’S…GROUNDHOG DAY!!!

7d5034ec3fe29cbffe61894c782849fe
{cYa}
c}F{a

 

man-hit-by-trian

*******

*Clicky, you’ve omitted all the video titles that Cade puts in…*

head-exploding

*Ah… /looks sympathetically… Mucked you about, did it?*

Missive from ‘Merica: Mother L’Ode

Come on, hands up if you were not entirely shocked by the passing of Debbie Reynolds, so soon after the death of her daughter, Princess Layers… */raises hand…*

Thoughtful Man’s first words upon hearing the news were “Poor Todd“. That he remembered the name of Debbie Reynold’s son and Carrie Fisher’s brother is entirely down to his fondness of a certain type of US TV show

*Clicky! No one is gonna get that reference other than Thoughtful Man… /thinks… although…*

Below, is another missive from Cade Fon Apollyon, Okie Devil chum, from Texas… He seems to have had a close encounter of his own with the Mothership… */oculi dilatanda…*

*******

forgotfries
Don’t worry baby. I can’t see my fries either. Of course, my view is obscured from my huge fat gut. And I’ve always heard that things do not grow well in the shade. But I’m also ugly, so…meh. Why bother.

^No Mana – Nine^

picdraw
I thought I would start off my daily thinking/writing session by attempting to do something clever in this particular writing. Something like…not speaking at all in this writing.

I mean, there will be writing, and there will be speaking of sorts, but it will not be me who is doing any of the speaking.

I will be writing of course, and I like to think that I do some thinking, but I guess that’s the problem right there, eh?

Just like always with me…a problem presents itself, and suddenly…there is the answer. I only THINK that I am thinking.

So why not take it to the next level, and stop speaking as well.

I guess that means that the next step beyond THAT…will be not typing.

LET’S TRY IT!!!

^No Mana – Ten^

--------------------------------------------------
 ..................................................
 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
 >.<.>.<.>.>.<.>.<.>.>.<.>.<.>.>.<.>.<.>.>.<.>.<.>.
 <.>.<.>.>.<.>.<.>.>.<.>.<.>.>.<.>.<.>.>.<.>.<.>.>.
 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????
 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿
 ¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?
 ?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿

Welp…that worked out well, eh?

Another great idea brought to a swift and rapid conclusion through sheer boredom and lack of creativity. I’M FIRED!!!

I just fired myself.

I WOULDN’T WORK IN THIS SHITHOLE IF YOU PAID ME!!!

YEAH? ME NEITHER!!!

I QUIT!!!

^Dom Kane – Borg^

tumblr_l0ka0nojyo1qz9b3ko1_500
I decided to give myself a second chance, under the conditions that I take a HUGE increase in pay, a company dirigible, I wear a t-shirt with company logo on it daily, and I start to shower at least once every week or so…or at least cover myself in chemicals to make myself not smell so fucking rotten.

I sorta quasi-begrudgingly agreed on the conditions that all of these rules are subject to change, modification, retraction, redaction or suddenly forgotten about by accidentally dropping all agreements into a toxic paper shredder that is on fire. Although, I ain’t gonna be the one getting near that damn thing.

OK, OK…I’ll do it. I swear, I have to do EVERYTHING around here.

^Deadmau5 – Brazil (2nd Edit) (1080p) || HD^
epilepsi
4chan
Epilepsy
Neurostimulation
Neuromodulation (Medicine)
Peptide
Macromolecule
Stoichiometry
Ideal Gas
Compressibility Factor
Equation of State
Reduced Properties
Ideal Gas Law
Benoît Paul Émile Clapeyron
Rudolf Clausius
Protestantism (Redirected from Protestant)
Azusa Street Revival
William J. Seymour
Great Awakening
Good Works
Big Bad Wolf
Cautionary Tale
Adolescence (Redirected from Adolescent)
Preadolescence
Conception
Gas Composition
Atmosphere of Earth-Composition
Ozone
Ozone Layer
Jacobi Elliptic Functions
Theta Function
Beta Wave
Mu Wave
/me waves
 ...
 /me shrugs
 ...
^deadmau5 “FML”^

A coupla hours ago, I was talking to someone on the phone, and they accused me of being “flippantly naive.” So after looking up both of those words on Google, to ensure the meaning(s) of those two words, and some serious brain-searching as to the meaning of those two words together, and some serious soul-searching as to the meaning of those two words together in reference to me…um…

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!

I’m disrespecting my own stupid? Jesus H. Mother Fucking Christ a hoppin’ on a pogo stick…I’ve reached a new low (lol).

Flippant
Naïve
Naive
Flippant
Naive

Yep…I’m some of that.

^Far Too Loud, Beardyman & JFB – Not A Real Thing^

The topic under discussion was “death”…and I simply put forward the notion that…

“You fucking synchrosnots or whatever, cream in your pants every fucking time that a celebrity dies, or some celebrity or politician loses their cool and pisses in the reporter pool’s punch, or someone firebombs a church that results in a large body count. Or some random raving madmen go on a 12 state killing spree, or some cop beats a kid to death for driving their Barbie Corvette on the street with out a license, registration, and proper state inspection and emissions testing…but you guys and gals don’t give a flying FUCK about these people when they are alive. I never heard anyone saying shit like…OH SO AND SO IS STILL ALIVE AND DOING FINE!!!NOTHING TO REPORT EXCEPT THEY ARE ALIVE AND WELL!!!”

To which the person I was speaking with was like…

“Oh bullshit. You know more than you lead others to believe. You pretend you don’t know what’s really going on, but you do. You are flippantly naive.”

I of course, being me, laughed…because I love it when people are brutally honest with me. It not only allows me to know what others are thinking of me, but it allows me to better evaluate what I think of myself. Not that I generally give a shit what others think about me, because most people don’t know me nor even wanna know me.

So why give a shit what others think? They don’t live in my skin…I do. Nor do I live in their skin. I tend to get under some people’s skin…such as my mother’s skin last night at dinner. But that’s a story for another paragraph. 😉

^Draft – Izumi^

6a0120a721c2d7970b01347fc314dc970c
So yesterday, I finally worked up the courage to call my mother and wish her a Merry Christmas. Yes, it was two days after Christmas. But we don’t talk. Plus, she was at my sister’s house out of town for the holidays. Not that I knew that. But I found out later via whatshername, so it was as good of an excuse as any to have not called. Not that I typically require an excuse, but I AM currently on the same side of town where she lives, so I felt a bit guilty for not calling even tho we don’t talk anymore.

I digress.

During the course of the conversation on the phone, my mother mentioned that she would like to take all of us to dinner. I’ll spare you the drama that it took to assemble what is left of several broken families and their opinions as to gathering for a grand total of an hour to feed our faces on my mother’s dime.

But it happened. 

I sat directly across from my mother and my soon to be ex-wife, and being that I am a slow eater, I was the last one still cramming Mexican food into my pie hole as the others drifted into “those” conversations. Yes…“those” conversations. You know…

Death,

injury,

illness,

surgery,

doctors,

trauma,

death,

dying,

taxes,

politics,

death…
oh and…

death.

I took all I could take, quietly eating and trying to think of freaky sex as I choked down the greasy cheesy beef enchilada smothered in honey, when I finally reached my limit.

^Deadmau5 – Ghosts n Stuff^

When the topic of “Deep Vein Thrombosis” came up, and my mother started describing, in detail, the surgical procedures available, in conjunction with “whatshername the quasi-doctor” and her appraisals of the gore are carnage involved, as well as the procedures for preparing samples of tissues for evaluation to check for OTHER related and/or possible potential diseases and/or ailments that may require further treatment…I looked up, using my best cold stare, and said.

“I’m eating here.”

There were equally evil looks of shock, dismay sprinkled with “HOW DARE YOU!!!” types of vibes, along with the usual “We’re just talking” kinds of “if we want your opinion, we’ll give it to you” kinds of mumbled offendedness, and immediately returned to their morbid discussion.

So...I got nasty.

“I’m eating a greasy beef enchilada…I don’t really wanna be thinking about doctors removing 200 feet of defective blood veins from your fucking leg.”

The ice...was and/is...unbreakable.

I am a lightning rod of anger and rage…nothing more.

Push him far enough, and he will break.

And if he doesn't? 

Well…we’ll just have to try harder…won’t we?

I’ve prolly spent a grand total of 3 hours around my mother over the last 3 years.

That was 3 hours too many.

She doesn’t like me.

Never did.
^Marshmello – Alone (Official Music Video)^

kangaroo-drop-kick
I don’t mind being alone. Yeah, I like being around people as much if not more than most. But when you are alone for the first 20 years of your life? I mean really…what do they expect you to learn?

People skills? 

The only people skills I learned came from books, and sometimes movies and music. I learned that in my world…Yeah, there ARE people out there who get along just fine. I was just born where and when I was born. I learned to deal with it as best as I could, and I continue to learn how to deal with it as best as I can.

Everyone breaks. And when you are completely broken? Well…you are either there…or you will be. Hope is a great thing. It gives me, and has given me, hope that not everyone has to walk the path that I have. And this has fuckall to do with individuality…this is about purpose. You either have one, or you make one. Before long, you have difficulty telling the difference.

^deadmau5 – Closer (Cover Art)^

1272273188_ibex-scratching
Yes…I know more than I let on. But there is a reason for that. Many reasons for that.

Just keep in mind who I work for, and the answers will come.

And if they don’t…I’m betting that you can even find peace in not knowing.

I sure do.

There are many things that I know, that I would rather not know.

They scare the shit out of me.

But I have a friend or two.

Even if I don’t know them…and even if they do not exist…I believe there is at least one person out there who believes in me and what I am doing.

The why…is irrelevant…because they already know why.

I cannot be what I am not.

But I can be what I can.

Weird how everything goes straight to hell from there…eh?

Why?

Because…suddenly…others are involved.

That means titles, labels, evaluations, opinions, and all KINDS of name calling…usually of the “unkind” sorts of kinds.

Weird.
^Calvin Harris – I’m Not Alone (deadmau5 Mix) [lyrics in description] [HD/HQ]^

uyjbb
See how sometime psychology can actually get in the way of “progress?” Things like “ego” and “pride” and “selfishness” start getting bandied about the first rattle out of the bag…and it’s all downhill from there.

And it’s NEVER a two way street.

You can be prideful about doing your job correctly in assessing the defects and defectives…but I’m not allowed that privilege of doing it myself and saving you the time?

Governing kinda…gets in the way of self-governing. Especially on those occasions when you need help from someone else, get it…and now, they got their hooks into you. They gotta know EVERYFUCKINGDETAIL…because these laws, rules, regulations, and company guidelines are here for YOUR protection.

(yawn)

Good thing that I am happy here at the bottom of that hill…

In the valley…

Of the shadow of death…

HEY! That's MY shadow!!!

Being of the valley, I guess makes that valley mine.

Lemme help ya up.

You got better things to do than lay around thinking about death and dying.

That's my job.
^Deadmau5 – Where Phantoms Sleep 04^

X: You gonna let me talk?

Cade: Sure. I’ve been known to do that.

X: You sound…kinda…confident there.

0: Are you sure that you are not “overstating”…I think is what you are being asked.

Cade: How would I know?

Z: Allow me…

Cade: (lol)…OK…first time for everything.

Z: Just kiddin.

Cade: (lol) OK…first time for everything.

X: Yer gonna pay for that.

T: In spades.

B: Say WHAT?!?!?

Cade: I dunnot think that means what you think it means.

X: I may or may not reserve the right to withdraw my support at any time.

Cade: That’s…reassuring.

X: It wasn’t meant to be.

Cade: Well…it is.

X: Mission accomplished. You fail again. Get out. You pass.

Cade: (lol) Yeah…it’s hard to pass a test that you can only pass by failing.

Z: How does that work?

A: Yeah, and why do you leave me out so much?

B: Yeah…me too!

T: Leave me outta this.

X: I wanna hear this…

Z: Me too…maybe…

0: …

Cade: Goodnight.

X: <rawr>

Cade: How’s that.

X: We’ll see.

0: Unless you don’t.

Z: Maybe.

Cade: Goodnight.

X: …

Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified

X: That’s a big one.

0: What do you want ME to say here?

Cade: Nothin…just…whatevz. Workin.

A: Work harder.

Cade: K…I’ll get right on that.

B: Don’t get left.

Cade: Bing->Goes->Bang->Goes->….

Z: Boom Baby!!!

Cade: 🙂

X: … 😉

^No Mana – Array of Sirens^
1216_f254
 /c/Y/a/
 \c\F\a\
^First Of The Year (Equinox) – Skrillex [OFFICIAL]^

*******

*/cocks head… Clicky? …/squints…*

*Debbie hurry? Oh for gawd’s sake… /rolls eyes…*