Come on, hands up if you were not entirely shocked by the passing of Debbie Reynolds, so soon after the death of her daughter, Princess Layers… */raises hand…*
Thoughtful Man’s first words upon hearing the news were “Poor Todd“. That he remembered the name of Debbie Reynold’s son and Carrie Fisher’s brother is entirely down to his fondness of a certain type of US TV show…
*Clicky! No one is gonna get that reference other than Thoughtful Man… /thinks… although…*
Below, is another missive from Cade Fon Apollyon, Okie Devil chum, from Texas… He seems to have had a close encounter of his own with the Mothership… */oculi dilatanda…*
Don’t worry baby. I can’t see my fries either. Of course, my view is obscured from my huge fat gut. And I’ve always heard that things do not grow well in the shade. But I’m also ugly, so…meh. Why bother.
^No Mana – Nine^
I thought I would start off my daily thinking/writing session by attempting to do something clever in this particular writing. Something like…not speaking at all in this writing.
I mean, there will be writing, and there will be speaking of sorts, but it will not be me who is doing any of the speaking.
I will be writing of course, and I like to think that I do some thinking, but I guess that’s the problem right there, eh?
Just like always with me…a problem presents itself, and suddenly…there is the answer. I only THINK that I am thinking.
So why not take it to the next level, and stop speaking as well.
I guess that means that the next step beyond THAT…will be not typing.
LET’S TRY IT!!!
^No Mana – Ten^
Welp…that worked out well, eh?
Another great idea brought to a swift and rapid conclusion through sheer boredom and lack of creativity. I’M FIRED!!!
I just fired myself.
I WOULDN’T WORK IN THIS SHITHOLE IF YOU PAID ME!!!
YEAH? ME NEITHER!!!
^Dom Kane – Borg^
I decided to give myself a second chance, under the conditions that I take a HUGE increase in pay, a company dirigible, I wear a t-shirt with company logo on it daily, and I start to shower at least once every week or so…or at least cover myself in chemicals to make myself not smell so fucking rotten.
I sorta quasi-begrudgingly agreed on the conditions that all of these rules are subject to change, modification, retraction, redaction or suddenly forgotten about by accidentally dropping all agreements into a toxic paper shredder that is on fire. Although, I ain’t gonna be the one getting near that damn thing.
OK, OK…I’ll do it. I swear, I have to do EVERYTHING around here.
^Deadmau5 – Brazil (2nd Edit) (1080p) || HD^
A coupla hours ago, I was talking to someone on the phone, and they accused me of being “flippantly naive.” So after looking up both of those words on Google, to ensure the meaning(s) of those two words, and some serious brain-searching as to the meaning of those two words together, and some serious soul-searching as to the meaning of those two words together in reference to me…um…
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!
I’m disrespecting my own stupid? Jesus H. Mother Fucking Christ a hoppin’ on a pogo stick…I’ve reached a new low (lol).
Yep…I’m some of that.
^Far Too Loud, Beardyman & JFB – Not A Real Thing^
The topic under discussion was “death”…and I simply put forward the notion that…
“You fucking synchrosnots or whatever, cream in your pants every fucking time that a celebrity dies, or some celebrity or politician loses their cool and pisses in the reporter pool’s punch, or someone firebombs a church that results in a large body count. Or some random raving madmen go on a 12 state killing spree, or some cop beats a kid to death for driving their Barbie Corvette on the street with out a license, registration, and proper state inspection and emissions testing…but you guys and gals don’t give a flying FUCK about these people when they are alive. I never heard anyone saying shit like…OH SO AND SO IS STILL ALIVE AND DOING FINE!!!NOTHING TO REPORT EXCEPT THEY ARE ALIVE AND WELL!!!”
To which the person I was speaking with was like…
“Oh bullshit. You know more than you lead others to believe. You pretend you don’t know what’s really going on, but you do. You are flippantly naive.”
I of course, being me, laughed…because I love it when people are brutally honest with me. It not only allows me to know what others are thinking of me, but it allows me to better evaluate what I think of myself. Not that I generally give a shit what others think about me, because most people don’t know me nor even wanna know me.
So why give a shit what others think? They don’t live in my skin…I do. Nor do I live in their skin. I tend to get under some people’s skin…such as my mother’s skin last night at dinner. But that’s a story for another paragraph. 😉
^Draft – Izumi^
So yesterday, I finally worked up the courage to call my mother and wish her a Merry Christmas. Yes, it was two days after Christmas. But we don’t talk. Plus, she was at my sister’s house out of town for the holidays. Not that I knew that. But I found out later via whatshername, so it was as good of an excuse as any to have not called. Not that I typically require an excuse, but I AM currently on the same side of town where she lives, so I felt a bit guilty for not calling even tho we don’t talk anymore.
During the course of the conversation on the phone, my mother mentioned that she would like to take all of us to dinner. I’ll spare you the drama that it took to assemble what is left of several broken families and their opinions as to gathering for a grand total of an hour to feed our faces on my mother’s dime.
But it happened.
I sat directly across from my mother and my soon to be ex-wife, and being that I am a slow eater, I was the last one still cramming Mexican food into my pie hole as the others drifted into “those” conversations. Yes…“those” conversations. You know…
I took all I could take, quietly eating and trying to think of freaky sex as I choked down the greasy cheesy beef enchilada smothered in honey, when I finally reached my limit.
^Deadmau5 – Ghosts n Stuff^
When the topic of “Deep Vein Thrombosis” came up, and my mother started describing, in detail, the surgical procedures available, in conjunction with “whatshername the quasi-doctor” and her appraisals of the gore are carnage involved, as well as the procedures for preparing samples of tissues for evaluation to check for OTHER related and/or possible potential diseases and/or ailments that may require further treatment…I looked up, using my best cold stare, and said.
“I’m eating here.”
There were equally evil looks of shock, dismay sprinkled with “HOW DARE YOU!!!” types of vibes, along with the usual “We’re just talking” kinds of “if we want your opinion, we’ll give it to you” kinds of mumbled offendedness, and immediately returned to their morbid discussion.
So...I got nasty.
“I’m eating a greasy beef enchilada…I don’t really wanna be thinking about doctors removing 200 feet of defective blood veins from your fucking leg.”
The ice...was and/is...unbreakable.
I am a lightning rod of anger and rage…nothing more.
Push him far enough, and he will break.
And if he doesn't?
Well…we’ll just have to try harder…won’t we?
I’ve prolly spent a grand total of 3 hours around my mother over the last 3 years.
That was 3 hours too many.
She doesn’t like me.
^Marshmello – Alone (Official Music Video)^
I don’t mind being alone. Yeah, I like being around people as much if not more than most. But when you are alone for the first 20 years of your life? I mean really…what do they expect you to learn?
The only people skills I learned came from books, and sometimes movies and music. I learned that in my world…Yeah, there ARE people out there who get along just fine. I was just born where and when I was born. I learned to deal with it as best as I could, and I continue to learn how to deal with it as best as I can.
Everyone breaks. And when you are completely broken? Well…you are either there…or you will be. Hope is a great thing. It gives me, and has given me, hope that not everyone has to walk the path that I have. And this has fuckall to do with individuality…this is about purpose. You either have one, or you make one. Before long, you have difficulty telling the difference.
^deadmau5 – Closer (Cover Art)^
Yes…I know more than I let on. But there is a reason for that. Many reasons for that.
Just keep in mind who I work for, and the answers will come.
And if they don’t…I’m betting that you can even find peace in not knowing.
I sure do.
There are many things that I know, that I would rather not know.
They scare the shit out of me.
But I have a friend or two.
Even if I don’t know them…and even if they do not exist…I believe there is at least one person out there who believes in me and what I am doing.
The why…is irrelevant…because they already know why.
I cannot be what I am not.
But I can be what I can.
Weird how everything goes straight to hell from there…eh?
Because…suddenly…others are involved.
That means titles, labels, evaluations, opinions, and all KINDS of name calling…usually of the “unkind” sorts of kinds.
^Calvin Harris – I’m Not Alone (deadmau5 Mix) [lyrics in description] [HD/HQ]^
See how sometime psychology can actually get in the way of “progress?” Things like “ego” and “pride” and “selfishness” start getting bandied about the first rattle out of the bag…and it’s all downhill from there.
And it’s NEVER a two way street.
You can be prideful about doing your job correctly in assessing the defects and defectives…but I’m not allowed that privilege of doing it myself and saving you the time?
Governing kinda…gets in the way of self-governing. Especially on those occasions when you need help from someone else, get it…and now, they got their hooks into you. They gotta know EVERY … FUCKING … DETAIL…because these laws, rules, regulations, and company guidelines are here for YOUR protection.
Good thing that I am happy here at the bottom of that hill…
In the valley…
Of the shadow of death…
HEY! That's MY shadow!!!
Being of the valley, I guess makes that valley mine.
Lemme help ya up.
You got better things to do than lay around thinking about death and dying.
That's my job.
^Deadmau5 – Where Phantoms Sleep 04^
X: You gonna let me talk?
Cade: Sure. I’ve been known to do that.
X: You sound…kinda…confident there.
0: Are you sure that you are not “overstating”…I think is what you are being asked.
Cade: How would I know?
Z: Allow me…
Cade: (lol)…OK…first time for everything.
Z: Just kiddin.
Cade: (lol) OK…first time for everything.
X: Yer gonna pay for that.
T: In spades.
B: Say WHAT?!?!?
Cade: I dunnot think that means what you think it means.
X: I may or may not reserve the right to withdraw my support at any time.
X: It wasn’t meant to be.
Cade: Well…it is.
X: Mission accomplished. You fail again. Get out. You pass.
Cade: (lol) Yeah…it’s hard to pass a test that you can only pass by failing.
Z: How does that work?
A: Yeah, and why do you leave me out so much?
B: Yeah…me too!
T: Leave me outta this.
X: I wanna hear this…
Z: Me too…maybe…
Cade: How’s that.
X: We’ll see.
0: Unless you don’t.
Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified
X: That’s a big one.
0: What do you want ME to say here?
Cade: Nothin…just…whatevz. Workin.
A: Work harder.
Cade: K…I’ll get right on that.
B: Don’t get left.
Z: Boom Baby!!!
X: … 😉 …
^No Mana – Array of Sirens^
^First Of The Year (Equinox) – Skrillex [OFFICIAL]^
*/cocks head… Clicky? …/squints…*
*Debbie hurry? Oh for gawd’s sake… /rolls eyes…*