Kitty Syncs A Fishy…

kitty-syncs-a-fishy

*******

WEDNESDAY – AFTER MIDNIGHT

“Mum!”

A shadow hovered about me. I slide the headphones off my ears and attempted to look up.

“What’s up Kitty?” I asked, still dragging my eyes away from my PC screen. I’d been talking to Hugo, reading and listening to music.

roob-tells-hugo-about-the-broken-fish

“So, the fish was just in the sink, already broken, when you went in to brush your teeth?” I asked a pensive looking Kitten. “Okay, then, that is weird. Have you picked up all the pieces and put them aside? Dad might be able to fix it.”

He looked relieved. “Yeah. I told you, it was weird. You like weird stuff.” Kit Kat gave me a fancy bow and a wave…

*A bit more Rimmer, Clicky… /thinks… Like he was doing me a favour… How the fuck do you describe that? Thanks anyway… /pats snout…*

“Goodnight, mother dearest.”

“Do I have to go to bed?” Loopy called over, without breaking from his battle with a hoard of pixelated whatevers.

“No, you can stay up with me. You’re on holiday this week, remember?” I told him.

“Cool.”

Kit Kat and I synchronised eye rolls – Loopy would sit in that chair forever, if we let him. I kissed the top of Kitten’s head ‘goodnight’, and he left for bed.

*******

FRIDAY 28th October 2016  – between about 1600h to 1611h

Conversation between Roo B Doo and son Kitty Doo about where fought/thought/fault/fort/forte lies…

“But technically, it wasn’t me. It was gravity. I just gave it a little nudge.”

*******

THURSDAY – AFTERNOON

Thoughtful Man was sitting at his computer and I at mine. All was peaceful in the Library as I started to read the latest post from my good friend, Cade. I’d only got to the bit about inserting the lie, when I remembered…

*Yes, Clicky, that clown… Don’t do that! You’ll make me lose my concentration…*

“Shit! I forgot to tell you,” I told Thoughtful Man. I rushed upstairs to see Kit Kat. He was doing whatever teenage boys do in their bedrooms. I always knock… well you never know…

*Clicky, stop trying to distract me… Writing…*

“Where’s that fish you broke? Come show it to Dad. He might be able to fix it.”

Kitten was lounging in his Captain’s chair and got up begrudgingly, as teenage boys are want to do. He collected the fish pieces from the bathroom, handed them over and then followed me back downstairs, with a gracelessness that only 15 year old boys can truly muster.

“This fish…” I turned the body of the fish over in my hands and stopped. “Oh, it says made in Mexico. Did we buy this in Grenada or Phoenix? I thought it was Grenada.” I passed the broken pieces across to Thoughtful Man.

“Arizona,” he replied, attempting to fit them together. Part of the head had smashed off and a fin. He inserted the few straggler shards and held it up for inspection. “Traveled a long way, this fish to come live with us. Yeah, I’ll glue that back together. How did it happen?”

I felt Kit Kat stiffen from across the room, where he was taking a suspiciously long pause in the doorway…

*He wasn’t smoking! Clicky, please, go do something else…*

“Oh it’s really weird,” I explained to Thoughtful Man. “The other night when Kit Kat went to brush he teeth, he found it, broken in the sink. An earthquake is a more likely than it spontaneously leap of faith, wouldn’t you say, Kitty?”

I turned to my son,  inviting him to give his opinion on the flying/jumping/shaking fish phenomenon he’d tried to palm me off with the other night.

Kitten looked at me before answering. “It was really weird,” the Boy That Breaks Things offered his father with a shrug and knowing smile.

*******

THURSDAY – AFTER MIDNIGHT

Kit Kat slouched into the Library and sat in Thoughtful Man’s chair.

“Mum, do you want anything from the kitchen?” he asked me. He’s always been thoughtful like that, especially if he wants something in return. Usually food.

“No thanks. Listen, come over here.” I beckoned him over to show him the image I’d created. “I’m writing a LoL post for you, ‘cos I wrote Loobie one, the other day,” I said brightly.

He sat on the arm of my big chair and gave a nod. “S’okay. You writing a post for me? Am I in it?”

“Will you read it?” I asked him.

“I don’t like reading,” he countered. He can be brutally honest went he wants to be.

“Then that’s your punishment for breaking my fish.” I pushed him off my armrest and he returned to his father’s seat. “I’ll tell you what, though, you provide me with three things, any three random things, and I’ll include them in it.”

Accidentally broke your fish, which is actually my fish because you gave it to me for my toothbrush.” Kit Kat sighed, resigned to playing along to make me happy. He thought for a bit. “It’s about a cheaply made fish that I accidentally broke, so… The first thing is a really expensive fish…”

*******

Friday 28th October – Middayish, an hour after getting up

Opens unsolicited email from MJM, friend from the Blue and Y’Ello Universes.

It reminds me of Antismokers eternally blowing hot air about smoking and vaping destroying the known universe…

mjm-sends-roobee-a-fish

*******

“An expensive fish? Of course, what else?” I asked. He furrowed his brow before answering slowly.

Benjamin Franklin…”

*******

Friday 28th October – Middayish

Ninth email, from Frank, friend from the Red Universe, in an electronic missive chain discussing… well, that’s between him and me but it involves some of characters of the MEROVEE crew… They’re a fun crowd…

Come On Franklin. It’s going to be a fun trip.

red-frank-send-roobee-franklin-horror

*******

Kit Kat’s ‘I-really-couldn’t-care-less’ concentration was suddenly broken by the entrance of a mad dooshund, wrestling with a limpish sock from side to side. It had been quietly lying in the dirty laundry pile.

“Poppy! Let that go, let that go,” Loopy cried, springing up from his chair and attempted to gently prise the white material from the jaws of certain shaken death. “Come on, Poppy, give it to me.”

“And a sock!” Kit Kat exclaimed. “Expensive fish, Benjamin Franklin and a sock,” he finished with a flurry that matched jerky movements of the reluctantly dancing sock…

*Oh for gawd’s sake… /looks skywards…*

“Yes. This sock,” Loopy stated, giving me the sopping wet item before returning to his chair with our darling Popstar for a licky cuddle.

“Okay,” I said, putting the sock down and grabbing my headphones. “Anything else?”

Kitten looked at me thoughtfully. “Yeah, can you remind dad that my game comes out tomorrow?”

“Oh, I’m sure he already knows,” I said. “You’ve been heralding its arrival every bloody day since your birthday.”

*Ha! He saves his money and look at the fuck off size book it comes with, Clicky… /sighs at the irony… He’s never gonna read all that… /looks around… What’s left to do?*

*A Song? Nah, I don’t think it’s finished yet… Hey! Where are you going? Don’t piss off now… /huffs… Fuck it… /lights up, sits back, smokes…*

Songless

A short one today, Dear Reader, as Clicky is over at…*/concentration tongue poke* Sync Miss For Him */satisfied smile* wallowing in Cade’s latest swamp of a post.

Honestly! I’ve constructed about six posts in my head today, but now he’s decided to piss off ‘cos he’s seen something better */rolls eyes*

Anyhoo, also been watching the latest Big Bang Theory today so… have a clip 😉

Sat ‘Ere Day, Musing…

danny-talking-11

hall-running-doc

*Hall Ran? LOL, Clicky… That’s from ‘Love and Monsters‘ first broadcast on Saturday 17th June 2006, watched by 6,66 million viewers…*

Sumthing… Old…

Last night I reread… looked over… and then tweeted out an old post of my good friend Legs Eleven…

life-came-from-gods-butt

 

Sumthing… New…

From the Old Lady of Threadneedle street – the UK has a brand new fiver. It’s still blue 😉 Thoughtful Man got one last night whilst out working, and showed it to me this morning. It’s shiny and can survive a battering

knot-talking-dick-25

*What? …/innocent face*

Mrs Reign one side, smoker Winnie on t’other… see-through window…

new-fiver-window

*Saturn 5… I guess Big Ben does look a bit like a rocket, Clicky…*

Sumthing… Borrowed

‘I PROMISE TO PAY THE BEARER ON DEMAND THE SUM OF FIVE POUNDS’

*/shows empty hands… Clicky, you’re on your own for this one…*

toast-of-london-too

*Knot a waffle man then, Clicky? …/arches eyebrow…*

toast-of-london

*Clicky, you realise ‘toast‘ – ‘to brown with heat’ derives from ‘terrain’ – ‘piece of earth’?*

steven-toast

*/rolls eyes…*

Sumthing… Blew

*/stretch… Last one… I’ve passed tense now, Clicky… we’ll get this out before the end of Saturday…*

talking-dick-34

who-question-mark

talking-dick-35

*I suppose with bad comes good and with good comes bad, Clicky… we just have to make the best of it… /shrugs… *

*Really?! Oh for fucks sake, Clicky, couldn’t you get a better Song?*

*Much better… /blows kiss…*

The Shining: Bathrooms Part 3a

Enormous chair

The scene with Jack and Grady in the bathroom is nearly 6 minutes long…

*Way too many gifs, Clicky… I’m gonna have to be cannier about how how I present this…*

Dolphin's hug

*… and careful with the hugging, sweetie*

*******

Okay, let’s familiarize ourselves with the scene in question.

Unlike, the bathroom scenes in Part 1 and Part 2, the Ballroom Bathroom scene (on the descent from the ‘shining’ peak, at the centre of the Forwards/\Backwards version) has dialogue in both directions. And it spans not one but three scenes on the ascent. But which ones?

movie diagram ascent Ballroom Bathroom

To start with, when Jack and Grady first enter the bathroom…

ballroom20bathroom20120descent_zpsgjqvaea4

… the corresponding scene is of Jack talking to Danny in the bedroom.

ballroom20bathroom20120ascent_zps9mb2mpox

Jack questions Grady…

ballroom20bathroom203_zps13xnkwa0

… and at the same time Danny questions Jack.

ballroom20bathroom20320ascent_zpso1hns5em

Whilst Lloyd continues wiping at Danny’s face…

ballroom20bathroom205_zpsh5scchm8

… Danny gives his father a question/suggestion.

ballroom20bathroom20220ascent_zpswoz3fmnd

*******

Derren Brown sends John Watson to sleep

*Clicky, WTF?!*

*Have a Song? Oh okay then… I guess this post is big enough*

Dear Reader, Part 3b of The Shining: Bathrooms will follow.

Bitches Be Crazy

Being a keen universe hopper, it was interesting to read in the news today that Scooby Doo is to get a cinematic reboot… sum thing is usually afoot 😉

 

SCOOB reboot

*/sticks out tongue… Clicky, I’m parched. Go put the kettle on…*

Mother and Daughters
CLICKY: Right now?

*Yes, please. I need to get upstairs to tend to Thoughtful Man and I really wanna get this done.*

 

I'll make the tea

 

Extract from ‘A Family History for Ruth and Julia (Gawd ‘Elp Us!)’, a.k.a. ‘The Ma Papers’ by Judith Eileen Newton (formerly Shewan, née Packer)

The two weeks I spent at a holiday camp with cousin Margaret were great. It was the first time I got drunk. I learned rugby songs and snogged a different bloke every night.

Although I digress, I will tell you this story – while I was at the camp I met a bloke called Tony who lived in Queens Park in London. I continued to go out with him for some time after we got back. He used to stay the night on the sofa in the living room at Elim Estate. We would walk to London Bridge together, so that he could go to work and I could go to school at Euston. It must have looked strange with me in my uniform and this tall, handsome guy kissing me goodbye on the tube.

Then came the day when he frightened me by asking me to marry him. I was still only 15 years old.

His family had moved to Stevenage and he was offered a job on the Blue Streak Rocket on a government facility. This was in the early 60’s when rockets and technology was all the rage, together with the race to enter space. He had been allocated a house to go with the job. He really believed that I would move down there and become a sixteen year old housewife.

Christ! I did not like him that much, although he was very handsome. He looked the spitting image of Anthony Perkins, although I always thought that there was something strange about Anthony Perkins (apart from the fact that he was Norman Bates). I always think that if I had have married him, would I have ever really felt comfortable about taking a shower?

I dumped him of course and was then deluged with phone calls from all his family calling me a bitch and worse. They said he was distraught and they were worried about how he was taking it. Looking back I suppose that it was a bit scary, but in those days I suppose we hadn’t heard about stalking and harassing like you do nowadays.

Maybe I was a bitch? Maybe I am still a bitch and am in denial? No, who am I kidding? I am a bitch, a vital characteristic I have tried to instill in both of my bitches.

It's on bitch

*What? The kettle?*

Roobee decides to give it a whirl
CLICKY: Yes. No, your story’s been accepted for Leg Iron’s book

*Really?! It got in? /claps hands… Hang on, how do you know? You didn’t just use the kettle at Dume Towers, did you?*

smile

*Clicky! Still… I’m gonna be a published author. Oh, mum would be so proud* 😀

cheers

*Ugh! Kitten blood! /grimace… Clicky, have a song*

 

Room x37 – Spotting Syncs 101: A Pointless Exercise Part 4.2 – Kobayashi Maroon

Previously on ‘A Pointless Exercise’…

*Very funny, Clicky… Knot! Can we get on with it? I’ve only got until tomorrow evening before the episode disappears from iplayer.*

Pawprint
Click for pores

*Droll …rolls eyes*

*******

AA: Okay, here’s comes your third question. Now Jamie and Alex, you get to answer it first but Solomon and Ruth, once again you have to win it to stay in the game. So, best of luck. It concerns…

Zoo Animals

OZ: We’re gonna show you the names of 5 zoo animals now but, er… I wish we hadn’t done this now… we’ve put them in anagram form.  Can you unscramble them and give us the most obscure answer please…

OZ Pole Ease
Clicky for… *Er, Clicky, that looks shit…*

OZ: …and when I say ‘please’, I mean poleeze…

RxB: You got the controller? It’s anagrams, pause it.

SEB: Way ahead of you.

AA: Thanks, Richard. So let’s reveal our 5 anagrams and here they come…

 

Nags a ram
*Seriously, Clicky, what the fuck…?*

RxB: The top one is rhino,  rhinoceros…

SEB: Meerkat!

RxB: …the next one down is alligator.

SEB: Meerkat and the one in the middle is chimpanzee. Don’t know the bottom one.

RxB: A lean poet..?

SEB: Antelope? How do you spell antelope?

RxB: A, n, t, e… Yeah, ‘antelope’. We shit that board, aced it! Press play.

SEB: Five stars!

RxB: What do you reckon we should go with, alligator or antelope?

SEB: Which one’s alligator?

RxB: Alligator it is.

AA: We’ve got ‘On Rich Rose’, ‘A Trial Log’, ‘Impeach Zen’, ‘Ark Meet’, ‘Lean Poet. I shall read those again, ‘On Rich Rose’, ‘A Trial Log’, ‘Impeach Zen’, ‘Ark Meet’, ‘Lean Poet. So, Jamie and Alex, you go first.

Spelling so bad
*Clicky, I cunt use that… or can I?*

JAMIE: My spelling is so bad…

ALEX: (whispers) Alligator is the second one.

JAMIE: You’re sure it is?

ALEX: I think so, yeah…

JAMIE: I don’t know how to spell!

ALEX: Should we go with the second one?

JAMIE: Is that how you spell it though?

ALEX: I think so.

JAMIE: You’re how sure?

ALEX: Er, 90%.

JAMIE: Okay for 90% I’ll take… if you’re wrong, I’ll be furious. Um, number 2 we think is alligator.

RxB: They’ve gone for our one. Come on Ruth, antelope. It’s the only one that might beat it.

SEB: Have a shot and pass me that packet of fags.

AA: Okay. Jamie and Alex are saying ‘Alligator’ for ‘A Trial Log’. Now then, er, Solomon and Ruth. The board is all yours, talk us through it.

RUTH: Okay, the second one up is meerkat.

SOLOMON: Ah yeah… I kinda think ‘ark meet’ is a real animal anyway.

pause print
Clicky for red paws

RxB: Fuck! They’re gonna go for meerkat. Bollocks!

RUTH: Yeah, let’s… shall we go *claps* we’ll go for meerkat.

RxB: That’s it! They’re out…

SEB: Ruth. You’re fired!

RxB: Piss off! Redundant, thank you.

Yeah
Clicky for Kobayashi Maroon

SOLOMON: Mer… meerkat.

AA: Okay, you’re gonna go for ‘meerkat’. So we’ve got ‘alligator’, we’ve got ‘meerkat’. Jamie and Alex said ‘alligator’, let’s see if that’s right, let’s see how many people said ‘alligator’.

16
Clicky for confused

AA: 16!

JAMIE: That’s not us… oh it is us… Come On!

 

Come On
Clicky for sumthing

ALEX: I wondered why you weren’t celebrating.

AA: Okay, Solomon and Ruth have gone for ‘meerkat’ for ‘ark meet’. Let’s see if that’s right and if it is, how many people said that. It’s right. Oi! Look at that 83!

RxB: Fuck me, that’s high!

SEB: Ooh. Did she win the apprentice?

RxB: Na. She got beat in the final to someone who outsourced telecoms to India.

SEB: Oh yeah? How did she get on?

RxB: Dunno. Got pregnant before she she started, I think.

RUTH: That’s life!

GG
Clicky for GG!

AA: Very well done. After 3 questions we’ve finally got there. Jamie and Alex, you go through to the final 2 nil.

OZ: Er, yes, it’s the best answer on the board as well, gents. Very well played.

Bored Reveal
Clicky by the numbers

OZ: Um, the top one is ‘rhinoceros’, would have scored you 26. The middle one, chimpanzee, would have scored you 38. And at the bottom…

AA: Antelope.

OZ: ‘Antelope’ and that would have scored you 19. So, yeah, ‘alligator’, best answer up there.

RxB: I knew it! Now I can play for the Jackpot Round.

SEB: You can anyway.

RxB: Yeah, I know but… it doesn’t matter. Shot?

SEB: Yeah. Go and get a fresh can of Bull from the fridge, this one’s dead. 

AA: There we are. So, the pair laving us at the end of the Head 2 Head round… and I’m sorry, Solomon and Ruth, it is you. You made it this far. Listen, it been such an experience having you on the show. Er, please come back and do it again.

RUTH: Yeah… never, never.

AA: Thanks very much for playing. Solomon and Ruth!

RUTH: Thank you.

Waves
Click for Solomon wave

AA: But for Jamie and Alex it’s time for our Pointless Final.

*******

Yikes! Only the Jackpot Round left, when all will be revealed… Have a Song 😉

 

 

It’s A Trap!

I was busy ironing for Thoughtful Man when he called out down the stairs, “John Nash is dead”.  “Who?” I replied distractedly; I was having a hell of time getting a crease out of his shirt for the night shift with the rank and file …

“John Nash. You know, ‘A Beautiful Mind'”. He magically appeared before me, wiggling his Apple in my face as confirmation of the news …

*No Clicky. Right actor, wrong film …*

“The bloke who invented Game Theory? I’ve seen a documentary about that …”. I started setting down Hot ‘n’ Steamy to tell him about it, when he abruptly cut me short.

“Tell me later, I’ve got to get out to work”. Two things about Thoughtful Man: he’s lived with me a long time and he really detests being late.

Anyhoo, he’s gone to work now, so I’ve asked Clicky to find the documentary for him watch it later … Ah, it is now …

*It comes in three parts? Gosh, Clicky, thank you for searching them all out … you really are boon for the LoL …*

*Strange, too … Here, have a Song …*