A Handful of Spunk

fruity-spunk

“Whatcha doing?”

I didn’t turn round to answer Thoughtful Man as I was trying not to lose focus. “Taking photos.”

“No, I can see that,” he said with his usual air of exasperation. “What are you photographing and why?”

salty-spunk

“Oh, it’s a sweetie present Poppy sent me,” I said. “It’s for a LoL post.”

“What?” he asked with his usual air of confusion. “Da baby leaves us presents but they ain’t so sweet,” he continued in a baby sing-song voice.

Now I was confused so turned round to see him holding our darling dooshund, Poppy. He was obviously addressing her with the cutesy tone. She could obviously smell something tasty, as she was attempting to dig her way out from under his arm to get to me.

“Ah, not Popstar here, Leggy’s girlfriend Poppy from Denmark… she’s sent me some Spunk. Would you like to try some?” I asked innocently.

“No thanks,” he said wrinkling his nose. “Spunk? Have you tried them yet?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

I adopted a serious expression. “Well, they’re hard jellies. The fruity flavoured ones are nice but got stuck in my throat. I’m afraid I spat the salty liquorice one out,” I reported.

Thoughtful Man looked at me intently. “So you both spit and swallow Spunk,” he said slowly, “and you’re going to tell everyone this in a post?”

“Yes,” I said with a vigorous nod. “She also sent me some pipes in a handy travel pack.”

liquorice-pipes

“Oh for god’s sake,” he sighed with his usual air of weariness, turning to leave with the pooch. “Ploppy and I are off the bed. Have fun with your sex and smoking whatever…”

*******

I also received an image of a book this morning, from MEROVEE Frank

book-image-sent-by-merovee-frank

And then a tweet caught my attention…

So I opened it and read the mined lines

sensitive-to-mindlines-orange-you-question-mark

clicky-ook-ok-go

*I saw that, Clicky… the Librarian has an understanding of the power of  L-Space…*

prestigious (adj.)1540s, “practicing illusion or magic, deceptive,” from Latin praestigious “full of tricks,” from praestigiae “juggler’s tricks,” probably altered by dissimilation from praestrigiae, from praestringere “to blind, blindfold, dazzle,” from prae “before” (see pre-) + stringere “to tie or bind” (see strain (v.)). Derogatory until 19c.; meaning “having dazzling influence” is attested from 1913 (see prestige). Related: Prestigiously; prestigiousness.’

I’d seen and listened to ‘The Strain‘ just last night…

leggy-has-the-strain

*Ah, Clicky… SA Vile… They really went to town on him after he was dead and unable to mount a defence…*

*******

Thoughtful Man and Poppy returned from their afternoon nap. I was glued to my screen, constructing my post.

“Are you still at it?” he asked dumping the dog on my lap before taking his customary place in the Library.

“Hmm? Yes… did you have a good sleep?”

Thoughtful Man yawned and set Clicky to work. “No, the bitch took up most of the bed. Did you see that a train crashed in New York earlier?”

I looked up startled – I’d just been looking at a train video. “No. I’ve been doing this. What happened?” I opened a tab to check the news.

google-news

*Hobo Ken… is that like tramp knowledge… Street smarts, Clicky? …/thinks… Have a Song…*

 

Moonday Meander…

danny-knot-talking-1

*Clicky, what are you doing? That’s the last gif in the sequence, not first… /thinking eye tremor… You cheeky bugger! …/squint…*

slow-coach

*:O… Alright then clever clogs, you do it…*

doctor-rolls-up-sleeve

*******

danny-talking-13

237-smoking

*Hey, that’s cheating, I already posted that one… oh no, similar… carry on…*

talking-dick-36

dick-wipes-237

*Ha! I know I posted Dick’s furious windscreen wipers… Shit, knot the same one either…*

danny-and-dick-1

shining-dick-jack-and-danny-237

*Yeah, alright, that’s pretty good… Damn… /thinks… Hey Clicky, look squirrel!*

*******

“Wake up!” said voice and hand in perfect synchronicity. The former, gruffly, and the latter shakily.

“Wha…I’m not sleeping,” I stated, less than convincingly. “I’m listening with my eyes shut.”

Thoughtful Man and I were watching ‘X Men Apocalypse‘. Well, he was, I’d fallen asleep.

“You were bloody snoring.” He turned round to look at me. “You and the pup in harmony. It was more entertaining than that pile of crap.”

I shift up into a sitting position, careful not to disturb the snoozing dachshund by my side She looked so peaceful lying under the quilt, with just her head poking out, resting on my pillow. Like a human.

“No good?” I yawned.

Thoughtful Man looked at me. “You’re the one that fell asleep, you tell me,” he drawled.

I lent over and plucked a rollie from the box of home-mades on the bed. “At least you managed to stay awake,” I said lighting it.

“My eyelids did flutter for a bit,” he said turning his attention back to the tv. “But you and Poppy kept me awake. The boys are bathed and in bed, by the way.”

I kissed the top of his head, picked up my iPad and clocked the time. Still earlyish; I started idling through my emails.

“Ooh, ‘Young Ones’!” Thoughtful Man cried out and stopped clicking the remote. He faced me again, this time with screwed up his eyes, “I know this one… first season, last episode. ‘Flood’.”

Even though we’d caught the programme near the end, he still got it. And so we watched the seminal comedy of our youth, and oh how I LOLled…

*Enjoy that did you, Clicky? That Foamy, what a wheeze… do you want to carry on with what you were doing now? You’re doing a bang up job… /raises thumbs…*

*******

*… /waits… Is that it? Anymore? …/squints… *

danny-knot-talking-1

Many apols, Dear Reader. On behalf of Clicky and I, please accept a Song…

 

Sat ‘Ere Day, Musing…

danny-talking-11

hall-running-doc

*Hall Ran? LOL, Clicky… That’s from ‘Love and Monsters‘ first broadcast on Saturday 17th June 2006, watched by 6,66 million viewers…*

Sumthing… Old…

Last night I reread… looked over… and then tweeted out an old post of my good friend Legs Eleven…

life-came-from-gods-butt

 

Sumthing… New…

From the Old Lady of Threadneedle street – the UK has a brand new fiver. It’s still blue 😉 Thoughtful Man got one last night whilst out working, and showed it to me this morning. It’s shiny and can survive a battering

knot-talking-dick-25

*What? …/innocent face*

Mrs Reign one side, smoker Winnie on t’other… see-through window…

new-fiver-window

*Saturn 5… I guess Big Ben does look a bit like a rocket, Clicky…*

Sumthing… Borrowed

‘I PROMISE TO PAY THE BEARER ON DEMAND THE SUM OF FIVE POUNDS’

*/shows empty hands… Clicky, you’re on your own for this one…*

toast-of-london-too

*Knot a waffle man then, Clicky? …/arches eyebrow…*

toast-of-london

*Clicky, you realise ‘toast‘ – ‘to brown with heat’ derives from ‘terrain’ – ‘piece of earth’?*

steven-toast

*/rolls eyes…*

Sumthing… Blew

*/stretch… Last one… I’ve passed tense now, Clicky… we’ll get this out before the end of Saturday…*

talking-dick-34

who-question-mark

talking-dick-35

*I suppose with bad comes good and with good comes bad, Clicky… we just have to make the best of it… /shrugs… *

*Really?! Oh for fucks sake, Clicky, couldn’t you get a better Song?*

*Much better… /blows kiss…*

Freaky Furzeday

freakyYes, I know today’s Friday, but I was kinda busy yesterday, Dear Reader. And this post is about yesterday, so if this presents a problem, you know what to Doo

Clicky and I will b rambling

freak

feyn-man

*That’s the spirit…*

*******

talking-dick-18

“What are you doing?” Thoughtful Man asked, leaning down to peer at my computer screen.

“Just posting a comment,” I replied, charging Clicky with sending it. “Oh poo! It’s in moderation. Too many links.”

I was on MeroveeRed Frank’s site knot-I-sing another 137 spot. I realise it’s a pointless exercise but I rather think that’s the point.

danny-talking-9

Thoughtful Man grunted and sat down on his chair. He looked decidedly hot and bothered. It could have just been the heat but I didn’t want to take the chance, so sent Clicky off for a nap.

“I can’t stand this weather. Look at me, I’m dripping,” he said wiping his brow.

“You do look sweaty,” I agreed whilst sitting in my own pool of salty water. “Well, what have we gotta do today?”

Thoughtful Man huffed and sighed. “It’s parents evening at the school tonight. Your sister will be here at five… we’ll need to tidy up, hoover.”

Juju had agreed to sit dog Princess Poppy for us whilst we traipsed up to the school to hear what Year 11 has in store for the boys.

“Fuck! That means I’ll have iron them a couple of extra shirts,” I said, slumping back into my huge, leather Library chair and instantly regretting it. “And the bedding upstairs also needs changing…”

A look of resignation and then something else crossed his face. Thoughtful Man stood up and, holding out his hand, said “We should just go upstairs and do it.”

Ah, so that’s what that other look was.

bird-man

*Alright, Clicky. Calm down…*

talking-dick-19

“Juju, can I ask you to do me a favour?” I asked my sister later whilst wrangling with the ironing board. Everything pressed to perfection, all we had to do now was to get going.

She sat in the Library, playing with Clicky. Poppy stood in front of her, ball in mouth, wagging her tail expectantly. “What’s that, babycheeks,” Juju answered absentmindedly. I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or the dog but carried on regardless.

“When we’re out tonight, could you read something for me? It’s a friend’s novel that I’ve been editing. It’s his first.”

“Is that the one is Scotland?”

“No, that’s Legs. This is Hugo Stone, I think he lives in Wolverhampton or around that area,” I said, squishing her along the seat so I could get to my keyboard. “It’s called ‘Cultish’ and it’s about ‘Satan, the apocalypse and lollipops’.”

Poppy dropped the sodden ball at her feet; Juju picked it up and threw it.”Sounds interesting. Okay,” she said over the sound of skittering nails.

“Be honest. Read as much as you want and then tell me what you think of it when we get back.”

Thoughtful Man appeared with two miserable but smartly dressed 15 year olds in tow. “Get off the fucking computer now. Come on, we’ll be late,” he barked.

Poppy didn’t know whether to follow the sea of retreating legs or get Juju to throw the ball again. The decision was out of her paws, however; we said our goodbyes and set off.

sexy-tardis

*I think I call you ‘a pain in the arse’, Clicky… No wonder Dumey doesn’t put up a fight over you… Can I get on with it now?*

carry-on-doctor

danny-talking-10

Two hours later and we were nearly home. The auditorium had been packed, sweltering and noisy, the boys’ grades from the exams at the end of year 10, disappointing, and the only teacher available to meet with us was the ICT teacher, Mr Hall, and he’d only started there that week. He did have a certain glow but it was more likely due to the excessive heat than any honeymoon period. The only thing of interest was a poster I’d seen outside the school library.

Have you had DIRT.JPG

“I told you it would be a waste of time,” Kit Kat informed us from the back of the taxi via the intercom.

“No. Now I know you need to pull your finger out,” Thoughtful Man replied. His eyes shifted in the rear view mirror, fixing on Loopy. “And you.”

“I explained about maths…” Loops started to explain again, before catching his father’s reflected squint and deciding to shut up.

I tried to change the subject. Sort of. “What was that teacher going on about with PPE?” I asked out loud. “The Polish one, Head of Maths, she kept saying it but I didn’t catch what it meant. It doesn’t involve hard hats, then?” I quipped, lightening the mood, I hoped.

“No,” Thoughtful Man said as he turned the Bonnermobile into our drive and pulled up. “Stands for Pre Public Examination, I think. It’s their Mocks.”

We unbuckled and got out of the van. Juju appeared on our doorstep, Poppy in arms.

“That book you asked me to read,” she said as Poppy strained to give us a welcome home lick. “Filth. Utter filth,” she said sternly.

Time stopped. All five of us stood motionless, the only things moving were my eyeballs and our demented dog’s struggles. When I spoke, my lips, cheeks and tongue felt like they were moving in slow motion.”Didn’t you like it?”

“I didn’t say that,” Juju replied, breaking into a smile. “It’s really good but it’s utter filth.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and took Poppy from her. “Oh good. So you liked it?”

Juju waited for Thoughtful Man and boys to move out of earshot. “Yeah,” she confided sotto voce. “And I was wondering if I could, er, take it home with me so I can, you know, finish it?”

believing-man

*******

talking-dick-20

*What? …/cocks head… Oh… /furrows brow… My Merovee comment in moderation? I’d forgotten about that, Clicky… 137 ART…*

137-art-blue-doors-and-flight

*Blue doors and flight… Give us a Song, Clicky…*

A Little Bit of Franky Spanky

There was a train crash this morning in O Porriño, Spain this morning…

*Clicky, no! Porriño isn’t Spanglish for ‘it’s pissing down’… besides, it sounds much more Italian… But that’s not the point. It’s uncalled for, Clicky, people died…*

*Theseus’ Paradox?*

apollo-chicken

*Cade?*

triggered

*Well, Red Frank did thank everyone for who’d triggered an idea in him and he’s into Franglish perhaps you were already in that frame of mind, Blue Frank‘s been musing on language…*

20160907_192502-e1473404473414

*Smokey Bear?*

237-smoking

*That’s a bike with stabilizers, not a trike… Hang on, is that woman smoking near her child? Fuck! The Shining could be banned… /nibbles  nail… They won’t be happy until they’ve turned us all into not-sees…* 

apollo-nose

*Ah… Apollo rose… Rose, the colour of O Porriño’s famous granite…*

*Whoa! Way to derail a train of thought, Clicky… Or did you? /breathes in deeply… I’m gonna have to go and have a think about this. Give Dear Reader a Song… /wanders off muttering…*

The Shining: Bathrooms Part 3c

Ballroom Bathroom 23

*Hello Clicky… What, no ‘Last time at the LoL…‘ today?*

The bank is now open

*Okay. Let’s do it!*

*******

One of the reasons I find ‘The Shining Forwards/\Backwards’ so fascinating is the synchronizing of images…

Jack rolls ball to Danny

 

… words with images…

Ullman warns Jack

… and sound.

*******

Early on in the Ballroom Bathroom scene, Jack accuses Grady of a heinous crime…

Ballroom Bathroom 12

And later in the scene we get to see it, so let’s continue…

Ballroom Bathroom 24

… Danny is in the background as both Grady and Jack talk about him…

Ballroom Bathroom 25

Danny covers his eyes at Grady’s suggestion…

Ballroom Bathroom 26

Grady’s daughters appear as he starts to talk of them…

Ballroom Bathroom 27

Jack’s accusation is confirmed by Grady’s idea of ‘correcting’…

Ballroom Bathroom 28

Jack should ‘correct’ Danny as Grady did with his girls. Jack gets it…

Ballroom Bathroom 29

*******

I don't like the colour

*Oh sorry, Clicky… I had to remove some of the colour to make the gifs a manageable size…*

Are you my mummy

*/squints… No, ‘mummy’ is the focus of The Shining: Bathrooms Part 4… Soon, Clicky. Have a Song…*

From Hair to Eternity…

Or from Phat to Fatuous on the Outrage Express… Hold tight… Ding! Ding!

conductor

*Okay then, you can play the conductor, Clicky*

*******

Yesterday on my Twitter-feed came the story of a woman in the Midlands. She was offended by some advertising.

90720695_gym

A gym responsible for an “offensive” billboard poster has replaced it with one described as “even worse” than the original.

89062758_89061500

smile

*Stop smiling, Clicky*

Anti-bullying charity Combat Bullying said the poster, which suggests being “fat & ugly” requires “a cure”, gives fuel for bullies to pick on children.

Charity Martha

*Knot a charity, Click – knot as far as I can tell. Certainly not a registered one. Perhaps ‘charity’ is the BBC’s new term for ‘pressure group’? Although, possibly ‘group‘ is being charitable… certainly calling that a ‘news’ story is… /rolls eyes*

Fit4Less said their advert in Sawley, Derbyshire, is intended to be “light-hearted fun”.

I'm waving at fat

But Natalie Harvey from the charity said it “absolutely disgusts” her.

disgust

She said she was bullied from the age of four for having a “ginger afro” and always felt “fat and ugly” herself.

I'm I ginger

*What? No, no Clicky. You’re an inter-dimensional alien space dolphin… you’re as bald as a fucking coot!*

“I don’t understand why we are using these kinds of advertising. It’s almost like shaming people.”

Well

Mrs Harvey said she can deal with the advert as a 39-year-old woman…

No

…but young or vulnerable people might not be able to.

2.47 billion.gif

*Whoa. That many children and vulnerable people in Sawley, Clicky? Better rip that poster down right now!*

samba

“If it’s near a pub or where adults frequent I’m not bothered, but it’s a big poster outside a family supermarket,” she said.

Imagine That

*I know. An adult-only supermarket, Clicky? That would be fucking awesome… no more screaming brats hogging the sweetie aisle. Of course, pubs used to be adult-only but then they turfed out all of the smokers…*

*******

is it over now

*Yes, no… just one last thing…*

The research also reveals youngsters who are bullied are almost twice as likely to go on to bully others.

mirror

Have a Song.

 

Wibbly Wobbly (tie me) Why me?

Stuff IT…

My friend Cade popped by yesterday to post a spider in comets on my Venus Flytrap post…

*I’ve always been scared of spiders, Clicky. It’s a phobia that I’m working hard to dispel… it’s the legs…*

Spending time with Legs

*Not that Legs, Clicky… /rolls eyes*

Funnily enough on the same day I’d made my Venus post, Cade was describing his flies

Clicky Lovin'

*Oh FFS! I can see why you like spending your time over there, Clicky, but do you have to be quite so graphic?*

Today is the birthday of the World Wide Web. This news was brought to me by the Sky Dick, Suck IT…

Sky Dick Suck It www birthday

Four years ago, Tim Berners-Lee featured in the Opening Ceremony of the Olympic Games. Last night, the 2016 Games Opening Ceremony took place in Rio, Brazil…

*A humongous flop, Clicky, you wouldn’t like that at all… Will and Ken battling it out… actually Kenneth Branagh also featured in the 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony*

smoking IKB

The musical directors for that one were Underworld

*No shit, Clicky! /slaps head… Two years ago, when the World Cup was on in Brazil, Merovee Ken and I explored Luis Suarez and the ‘Ritual of Chomp‘…*

Chöd (Tibetan: གཅོད, Wylie: gcod lit. ‘to sever’[1]), is a spiritual practice found primarily in the Nyingma and Kagyu schools of Tibetan Buddhism (where it is classed asAnuttarayoga Tantra).[2] Also known as “Cutting Through the Ego,”,[3] the practices are based on the Prajñāpāramitā or “Perfection of Wisdom” sutras, which expound the “emptiness” concept of Buddhist philosophy.

According to Mahayana Buddhists, emptiness is the ultimate wisdom of understanding that all things lack inherent existence. Chöd combines prajñāpāramitā philosophy with specific meditation methods and tantric ritual. The chod practitioner seeks to tap the power of fear through activities such as rituals set in graveyards, and visualisation of offering their bodies in a tantric feast in order to put their understanding of emptiness to the ultimate test.[4]

*That’s enough for now, Clicky. Would you furnish Dear Reader with a Song?*

And Venus was her name…

Today, my friend Hugo sent me an interesting ‘Knowledge Nugget’ about tobacco…

Clara

*Thank you, Clicky. I have no idea if it’s true… I should pop over to the Blue Universe and ask Harley or Rose…*

Rose

*Er, that’s a moped, Clicky*

Venus late Old English, from Latin Venus (plural veneres), in ancient Roman mythology, the goddess of beauty and love, especially sensual love, from venus “love, sexual desire; loveliness, beauty, charm; a beloved object,” from PIE root *wen- (1) “to strive after, wish, desire.”

This root is the source of Sanskrit veti “follows after,” vanas- “desire,” vanati “desires, loves, wins;” Avestan vanaiti “he wishes, is victorious;” Latinvenerari “to worship;” Old English wynn “joy,” wunian “to dwell,” wenian “to accustom, train, wean,” wyscan “to wish.”

Applied by the Romans to Greek Aphrodite, Egyptian Hathor, etc. Applied in English to any beautiful, attractive woman by 1570s. As the name of the most brilliant planet from late 13c., from this sense in Latin (Old English called it morgensteorra and æfensteorra). The venus fly-trap (Dionæa muscipula) was discovered 1760 by Gov. Arthur Dobbs in North Carolina and description sent to Collinson in England. The Central Atlantic Coast Algonquian name for the plant, /titipiwitshik/, yielded regional American English tippity wichity.

martha

*Yep, that bit’s true…*

Donna

*No, Clicky, wichity… sounds like witchy…*

Amy

*/rolls eyes… Hey, that reminds me… The Professor has been awfully quiet of late…*

Romulus Crowe

*I wonder if he’s been working on a case…*

River

*Yeah, like you know, Clicky…*

*Have a Song?*

River 2

*Good call, Clickity Wichity!*

 

Top Trump! Stop, wait…

I made my first posting at Sync Miss For Him in quite a while this morning…

Yes, it’s the US Presidential election and Trump’s in Putin pocket, if Hillarity is to believed…

Yikes

*Yeah, she is somewhat scary, Click*

After posting I sat on the old box in the conservatory, whilst Mistress Ploppy went outside for a pee. I looked down and stared at the upside down writing between my legs…

Shoe Box

CLICKY: Witch way up?

*No, that’s a terrible reconstruction, Clicky. You’d never get a job on Crimewatch… /squints …let me set it out…*

Although I’ve owned the box more than 20 years, it was the first time I’d noticed what is printed on it since… /thinks… well, since I bought it from the Stationery Dept at John Lewis, Oxford Street.

TRUMPERTON’S

AMAZING

TOY

EMPORIUM

MECHANICAL NOVELTIES

MUSICAL CONTRAPTIONS

TIN & CAST TOYS

BOOKS

PORCELAIN DOLLS

MAGICAL APPARATUS

GAMES & PUZZLES

WE LEAD

OTHERS FOLLOW

It reminded me that there was a card game from my youth that all the boys used to play…

Top Trumps was a card game popular with adults and children in the United Kingdom in the 1970s and 1980s, especially amongst boys, for whom it was a popular playground pastime. The topics tended to reflect this, and included military hardware, modes of transport and racing cars. The packs tended to be priced so that children could collect new packs by saving pocket money for a few weeks.

The original Top Trumps were launched in early 1976, with eleven different packs selling at 50p each, published by a company named Dubreq. Dubreq was also known for the Stylophone. Dubreq was taken over by Waddingtons in 1982, and they continued manufacturing packs until the early 1990s. The packs from this period are now collectible.

*/nods… Yes, that’s certainly a musical contraption, Clicky… And a bit of mechanical novelty*

Clinton’s got her cards/sigh… I’m a sucker for an underdog… /rolls eyes…

Ruthenian (adj.) 1850, of or pertaining to the Ukrainian people (earlier Ruthene, 1540s), from Medieval Latin Rutheni “the Little Russians,” a derivative of Russi (see Russia). For consonant change, compare Medieval Latin Prut(h)eni, from Prussi “Prussians.” Another word in the same sense was Russniak.

Russian dolls

Rubedo
CLICKY: Are you sure?

*Yeah, have a Song*