Missive From ‘Merica: No.85 Part 7 – Needles and Pins

*Hmm… So you went with green this time, Clicky? …/nods… Fitting…*

Thoughtful Man just called to tell me that Irish comedian Sean Hughes has died

*Aww… 51 is no age, Clicky…*

… I thought I’d just throw that peace of breaking news into this shamble, the seventh installment of the current Cade missive…

…And here it is, below. Enjoy! ❤

*******

 

Let’s checks the scales.

Dry Skin

“Skin represents our barrier against the environment and it consists in three layers.”

Against. Or is it the wording of “Barrier + Against” that makes that sound so…conflicting. Conflicted? Combative? I mean, who knew there was such a thing as “The American Skin Association”? I sure as shit didn’t. Or am I too hung up on associations and my associational abilities are not functioning properly? I’m not known for being proper nor doing proper properly.

Dissociative Identity Disorder

Since when did distinction or distinctions become cause for further disassociation. Loss of humanity? Subtraction? Detraction? “First, do no harm” kinda loses all of its meaning, eh? Loses all of its bite? Loses all of its sting? Someone worked up a vaccine or body armor against bites and/or stings? Harm to heal? I dunno. How absurd is it to teach someone to count with their toes?

MOTHER-FUCKING...WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?
Counting…

with…

your…

toes.

Someone taking the time, to teach someone, how to count…with…their…toes.

I can easily relate because my feet are pretty much just dead clubs at the end of numb legs, and my toes barely even function. So thinking of someone taking the time, to do something so remedial yet gentle, as to point out how to sequentially count, with my toes, my trying to move certain toes, in certain sequences…how fucking lowly and unimportant and elementary and condescending is that?

The fact that someone took the time to do it at all fucking floored me personally. Nevermind the fact that they had already spent God only knows how long developing this method of detecting and/or facilitating motion within the toes, for someone who has no movement or control of their toes.

So, let’s turn the lofty loft, upside down, and see what shakes out. Is there anything up there of value that make it worth the effort?

Only you lofty fucks that lives there can answer this.
^Tycho – A Walk^

To relate further, I watched a documentary on the rock band Megadeth a few weeks ago. The guitar player/singer/founder of this band, Dave Mustaine, broke his hand, and was told by the doctors that he would never play guitar again. Mustaine talked about his rehabilitation, the things that he tried, and the lengths he went through, to regain his ability to play guitar.

One of the things that he mentioned, was picking up needles one by one using a pair of tweezers, then pushing these pins into a board. I immediately cringed at this idea, because my hands and arms shake something fierce when I have to do finite tasks like that or similar. But the thought of him spending hours picking up these needles using only a pair of tweezers, then pushing the pins into a board?

Yeah, inspiring stuff…

it's everywhere.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PIPyPMNnp8

^Son Lux – Easy^

Are you shocked when something unexpected happens? Yeah…me too. And in thinking about the nonsense from the previous whatever turned Missive, in not that I necessarily don’t know. What I don’t know, is how to explain what I am seeing. I don’t know who I am tailoring this for, but I can certainly think of some reasons as to why something may be needed.

I’m flying blind. Yeah, there are lights of a more relatable type here and there that keep me going. But it’s difficult to explain how I can see just fine without the lights that others choose to use to light their paths. I can see just fine thanks. OK, so, I wear glasses. But the shit I see in my mind, spirit, being or whatever…

is pretty clear.
^DVBBS & VINAI – Raveology (Official Video)^

I was digging through some of my playlists on YouTube looking for a certain song, but I could not find it.

I guess it's been deleted. 

As I cruised through my playlists, and noticed that there are a fuckton of videos that have been deleted/removed completely. Many more have copyright claims and cannot be played. It’s rare that I dig for a particular song, but sometimes I do. Letting YouTube pick the songs for me via random playlists allows me to stumble across a bunch of shit that I would not have every heard otherwise.

But what is odd, is that I stumbled across the band “Lightning Seeds” and their song “Pure” from quite a ways back. Odd that I recently stumbled across this song again, and was quite convinced that I had completely forgotten about the band Lightning Seeds.

Q: I wonder if I did that on the previous time that I stumbled across this song?

A: Prolly. And prolly also self-conditioning of the worst type.

I’m such a bad person.

^DARE [Soulwax Remix] — Gorillaz^

Anyway, what I was thinking about, was how far we need to stretch a line to get it to start bending.

Q: Isn’t stretching bending?

A: ?¿?

But my intent here is to bend without stretching. As a matter of fact, what I am seeing in my head, is a model for a method of bending a straight line with no discernible motion at all, save for the bending of this line. But that’s what models do ain’t it? Do something without really doing anything?

Welp, I’m thinking about the time(s) and pressure(s) involved in bending a straight line, irrespective of what this line is made of, without generating heat, nor friction, nor any discernible nor measurable phenomena of any kind, save for the bending of this line. I guess what I am seeing in my head, is the basis of how vacuums are formed. Like…the base of a vacuum, yet no vacuum will exist. The temporary nature of this vacuum will be so non-existent, that it will in fact, never exist. Not locally anyway. So yeah…

this is gonna be a different kind of crunch.
^400 Lux – Lorde (Lyric Video)^

I’ve got, and have had, loads and loads of inspirations in my life. Lots of teachers that have taught me much. That makes the quest or a quest for originality kind of a lost cause. Nothing wrong with lost causes tho. I mean fuck…the shit is lost. What better way to find originality, eh?

Just trying to think positive. 

I’m not positive that I am thinking in a positive manner thanks to those negativistic asshats that keep telling me I’m being positive, or not being positive enough. They don’t seem too sure. I’m not too sure about that, but I’m sure that I’m positive and/or I’m trying to be positive.

^Napoleon Dynamite Song^

*******

*Nearly done, Clicky… /rubs eyes… *

Good news, Dear Reader. It turns out this is the penultimate installment of this missive from my good friend Cade, The Okie Devil from Text Us. Stand by for numbero ocho… Have a Song 😉

https://youtu.be/5rLqPtZUWJI

Wake Up & Smell The Covfefe…

Two instances of humour from the States overnight, Dear Reader. One intended, the other not so much…

Trump wins by a head

*Yikes! Gruesome…*

The Comedienne Vs The Donald…

*Knot that Donald, Clicky…*

First up, the comedienne Kathy Griffin with her intended attempt at humour…

https://youtu.be/HRvetPdMX6c

*I guess the only line she’ll be concerned with now is the unemployment line, Clicky…*

Who she was trying to entertain with the skit is unknown. It certainly wasn’t the 62 million plus people that voted for Trump 7 months ago. And where she got the idea that a dead Prez is funny, is an utter mystery…

*Ahh… /nods head…*

The other, unintended, humour came in the form of a tweet, during which the Prez fell asleep… probably…

covfefe time

One word was close to breaking the internet on Wednesday morning: “covfefe“.

It was an apparent typo in a tweet by US President Donald Trump, and internet users have been mocking him mercilessly.

“Despite the constant negative press covfefe,” he tweeted just after midnight, Washington time.

And he then appeared to have gone to bed, without finishing his thought or correcting his mistake.

It took six hours before he acknowledged it with a good-humoured response, and by that time a lot of people had had a lot of fun.

I did notice quite a lot of the ‘humorous’ tweeted responses were, how can I describe them… Griffinesque. However, there were some notable exceptions…

Orbs are bunk

Have a Song 😉

Quick Quark…

Dear Reader, this has been my last week of…

freedom.gif

*No, Clicky… /rolls eyes… of unemployment…*

…And to celebrate, I have spent it doing… */thinks* … erm, fuck all really…

you go girl

*Ah, I always appreciate your encouragement, Clicky… /pats snout…*

Yesterday, I took time out to watch three old movies from the 80s – one I’d never heard of before called ‘Back to the Beach‘…

https://youtu.be/ari4qYQXAHc

*Completely mad, Clicky… that Song featured in Cade’s last missive…*

…and two old favourites. The first, a detective love story…

*”Be careful among them English” …Ah Witness… I love that film…*

witness look

*Yeah, yeah I saw ‘Wallace’ in the wiki entry too, Clicky… /sigh… Look, it’s not exactly ‘freedom’ if your significant other has to work extra hours ‘cos you’re not paying your way…*

*Er, Thoughtful Man is not a prostitute! And his ‘for hire’ sign is not red, it’s orange… /slaps forehead… Oh yeah, Clicky, the other film…*

… And the second movie, a romantic comedy, starring Steve Martin…

In 1963, when I assigned the name “quark” to the fundamental constituents of the nucleon, I had the sound first, without the spelling, which could have been “kwork”. Then, in one of my occasional perusals of Finnegans Wake, by James Joyce, I came across the word “quark” in the phrase “Three quarks for Muster Mark”. Since “quark” (meaning, for one thing, the cry of the gull) was clearly intended to rhyme with “Mark”, as well as “bark” and other such words, I had to find an excuse to pronounce it as “kwork”. But the book represents the dream of a publican named Humphrey Chimpden Earwicker. Words in the text are typically drawn from several sources at once, like the “portmanteau” words in Through the Looking-Glass. From time to time, phrases occur in the book that are partially determined by calls for drinks at the bar. I argued, therefore, that perhaps one of the multiple sources of the cry “Three quarks for Muster Mark” might be “Three quarts for Mister Mark”, in which case the pronunciation “kwork” would not be totally unjustified. In any case, the number three fitted perfectly the way quarks occur in nature.

irony

*Well, quite… But chuck in a white coat…*

*About time for a final Song eh, Clicky? …/squints… And don’t even think of giving us Alanis Morisette… not a single line in that Song is ironic…*

Have a wonderful Bank Holiday weekend, Dear Reader. Have a Song…

Reading Signs: Jews and Dotes…

Frankly, Dear Reader, sometimes reading signs ‘correctly’ can be a bit of a schlep…

Hackney residents were shocked yesterday to see a new road sign had been erected

*Beards and hats and dressed in black… /shakes head… Knot Amish, though, Clicky. You don’t get many Amish in London…*

Franck Allais produced the road sign artwork for a project, to ‘celebrate London’s diversity’.

“It was a project about crossing the road … how everyone is different, everyone has an identity.

“There is not only one sign in the street. I put more signs up in the street, but only this one got noticed.

“I am sorry for any offence caused.”

Signs missed by the residents included a woman pushing a shopping trolley…

… a man pushing a wheelchair…

… and a cat…

https://youtu.be/IsC0T0pKwfw

*Knot exactly ‘people’ though, Clicky, eh? *

*/rolls eyes…*

A misunderstanding then, rectified and apology given. Not a sign of a hate crime…

“We take reports of hate crimes extremely seriously so if any residents find any kind of anti-Semitic signs or graffiti they should immediately report them to the police on 101.”

*/sneers… Hateful sign…*

Blue Frank put up an interesting post today about ‘roadkill‘. He too is seeing signs…

But it might be beginning to change. It’s not as easy “to control exactly what people think” as it was 20 years ago. The internet is changing how information gets around. The MSM no longer has a monopoly on what and what isn’t news.

*Smokers and Jews have a lot in common, Clicky… /sigh…*

… Whilst Red Frank posted images of Anne Frank, and children fleeing for their lives, along a road…

*He also included one of Leggy’s short stories, Clicky… From the same book at ‘Telephone Pest’… We turned that into a screenplay… /blows out cheeks… Fucked if I know how to get it made…*

*Heh. You romantic, Clicky… /lights up… And if knot? …/blows smoke…*

 

Dunn and Dusted…

Sad news today, folks: Grandad has passed on to the great butchers shop in the sky…

*Knot 19, Clicky, he was 92…*

*/lights up and smokes… I ain’t panicking, gno… Well, it had to ‘appen, Clicky... Everybody goes eventually…*

*/nods sagely… That’s true… /sniffs… Ooh, smells like dinner’s nearly ready – fancy a Song, Clicky?*

 

Smoke me a Kipper…

https://twitter.com/RooBeeDoo1/status/793396822496645120

It’s been a hard slog, Dear Reader…

*OMG, Clicky! …/lights up and smokes… made a wish and granted it to myself, didn’t I …/rolls eyes…*

https://twitter.com/RooBeeDoo1/status/793411638540038144

*…/huffs and puffs… I wonder if it could happen Clicky… Ore if it’s butt a daydream…*

tumblr_mwv7q3ntml1sonopio1_500

*Indeed…  /pats snout…*

https://twitter.com/RooBeeDoo1/status/793059892449906688

*Oh, who cares anyway, Clicky… Come on… /shrugs and blows smoke… Library work to Doo… *

Dear Reader… Fancy a dance?

 

Ping Pong Piddle Pogo

A number of things in the last 24 hours have led me to consider writing a post about Peter Sellers

*No Clicky, nothing to do with Kubrick…*

I have posted about Peter Sellers before, at Sync Miss For Him

seller-door-1

*Well, I hope Dear Reader takes a look and a loiter, Clicky… It’s a bit like being handed somebody’s holiday snaps, though – it’s hard to enthuse unless you’re really interested or were actually there*

But yesterday evening, Red Frank posted ‘Love Hurts‘ at MEROVEE and included the Pink Pan-ther…

red-frank-posts-pink-panther

*Kardashian? Hmm…*

Meanwhile I was having a conversation with Cade about books and poetry and ‘overt lurking‘…

seller-door-2

Plus Hugo was in a peculiar mood…

hugo-and-roob-dm-convo

And then today, in conversation with Legs about his moving home…

roob-and-legs-dm-convo-1

*Okay, maybe a little bit to do with Kubrick, Clicky… but it was more about the comment Cade left at Leggy’s place…*

roob-and-legs-dm-convo-2

cades-poem-at-ubu

*Jcrashinthecar…dashian, Clicky? …/rolls eyes…*

But it continued…

seller-door-3

roob-and-legs-dm-convo-3

*A PA, Clicky? …/holds up hands…*

roob-and-legs-dm-convo-4

In Internet culture, a lurker is typically a member of an online community or PLN who observes, but does not actively participate.

*******

Obituary dated 3rd of October…

obituary-for-hermione-harvey

Have a Song…

On Your Marks…

*I’m not sure I understand, Click… Groucho wasn’t Russian…*

*… No, I don’t think Karl was either, Click…*

*Ah, okay Clicky… I think I understand what you were driving at…*

*… Nope, Click, you’ve lost me.  I’ll be honest with you, Clicky, this post of yours is a bit of mishmash…*

*…Never mind, Sweetie.  Have a Song…*

https://youtu.be/AO9909uexu8

Ay, there’s the rub …

I say, I say, I say … my dog’s got no nose …

loopy and poopy lift off

*Oh Clicky-Doo that’s wonderful … photography is not my forte …*

*******

“I suppose you can always jazz it up.” Thoughtful Man handed the camera back to me, perfectly timed to his zooming squint. “What’s the connection between the two?”

“Whitehouse…” My eyes signaled which way I would turn my head before I did. Left in this instance.

“That’s extremely tenuous and nobody will understand the connection, except me”.  Laser squint dissolved into rapid blinking. “One. Newman and Baddiel were only half of the ‘Mary Whitehouse Experience‘.” He shook his head. “And number two. We only met Paul Whitehouse at Roy’s play.”

It’s true. At half time in the bar Roy, Thoughtful Man’s best friend from school, and basis of one of the play’s two main characters, introduced us to the great man. We said “Hi”.

“You were too shy to even talk to him, for goodness sake!”

*Marc Warren, Clicky? Oh he was very shy when I told how brilliant he was at playing Thoughtful Man …*

“Hello. Seriously, are you not listening to me?” He was wearing his ‘You’re not listening to me’ expression.

“Of course I was listening.” I thought fast. “You said, ‘You can connect anything to anything else if you look hard enough. It’s just coincidence. Everybody has them’.” I turned the camera back and took his photo *Click*.

The squint was back. “Lucky guess”.

“Of course. I’m the luckiest woman in the world. I married you.” Unfortunately the deadpan delivery only served intensified the squint.

“True.” He rubbed his chin. “But you do spend far too much time on the internet.” Again true

Maslow updated

“I’ll be as flexible as I can with your synchronicity malarky but I’ll be glad when your holiday is over and you get back to real work.” His face was set …

*I said ‘set’, Clicky.*

Gently, he took the camera back, laid it on the table and took my hand. “Why are you spending all day chatting to great unwashed, listening to rubbish and chasing old laughs?” He looked at me thoughtfully. “I’m on holiday, too. We could connect”.

*Not fair and not true, Clicky… /rolls eyes… So jealous…*

 

 

With Knobs On

*Following Joe Public approval … Thanks … Click /giggle*

“Come and have a look at this!” chortled Thoughtful Man from across the room. I looked up, for I was bending over, having an interesting rummage though the programmes delivered last week. I was looking for one in particular. “Hmm?”

“You’ve got to see this”. He sounded excited, which doesn’t happen often, so best not avoided. Fortunately I’d found what I was looking for. Rising, I turned to see him leering and pointing at Elsa, the LoL computer. “It’s an old advert for WD-40”. WD40 advert “That can’t be real”. I said wiping a tear of mirth from my eye. As funny as it was, it couldn’t possibly be real.

“I shouldn’t think so. It’s on the internet.” He winked at me. “Although WD-40 was originally from ‘The Rocket Chemical Company’.” He winked again. Genuine or not, it had put him in a good mood. “And what were you looking for?” he said jovially, plucking the battered programme I was clutching from my hand. Dead Funny Programme 1994 “I don’t remember this one. Which one was this?” He thumbed through the pages before handing it back. “It was the one with the willy.” He stared back at me blankly. “Frankie and Benny” I continued but nothing was clicking except maybe confusion; I’d forgotten about our local bistro.

I explained that I’d just watched the Graham Norton show, which had featured Stephen Merchant promoting his new play, ‘The Mentalists’. He would have to get nude on stage and we’d seen extremely funny, dare I say ‘flapping’, nudity when we’d gone to see ‘Dead Funny’.

He looked at me knowingly. “Trust you to remember that”. “The funniest thing is that I saw the actor, David Haig, sometime after at London Bridge station, during rush hour.” I paused as a look of horror crossed his face. “Stood right next to him actually.”

“You didn’t?”.

“What? Compliment him on the acting abilities of his willy?” I smiled sweetly. Thoughtful Man shook his head, covered his eyes and sighed. Deeply. “Would I do something as crass as that?”.

I couldn’t see the squint but it was definitely there, behind his fingers. “I wouldn’t put anything past you woman.” He turned back to Elsa and started clicking. “Have a song”.