Chickpeas A Chance

A tweet caught my attention this morning, Dear Reader…

Ninamoose101 is feeling sad and depressed

I’m not that keen on the VEG(etari)AN movement. I don’t trust it’s zealotry and I certainly don’t trust it’s sponsors

…Butt, as I’d mentioned last weekend, The Secret Sun site has been busy cataloging the current de-luge of Vega/Vegas/Vegan media messaging…

*That’s a concise little video, Clicky… /lights up… Thanks for pulling it out… /drags… I’d only heard of Jeff Buckley for the first time in the Blue universe… *

…I was intrigued to what they were up to now, so I decided to go and have a look at the “so sad and utterly depressing” article for myself…

Metro Vegan Rubies

*/smirks… I doo like to catch a Roobee reference, Click… /snorts smoke…*

‘My current favourite dinner item is Iceland’s hash brown fries (seriously, try them), dipped in mayo (I never said I was classy).

‘Now, I’ve got two ride or die vegan mayos – Plamil’s garlic mayo, and Vegenaise (only if it’s on offer, because it’s hella expensive) but my eye wandered today when I discovered that there’s a new mayo in town.

‘And it’s made from waste water from the hummus industry.

‘Yup, Rubies in the Rubble mayo is made using aquafaba – the water drained from tins of chickpeas and other legumes. It translates from Latin as ‘bean water’.’

*Mmm… I like hummus, Clicky… /taps ash… And I like mayo… /puffs… especially with ham… /smacks lips…*

*/deep drag… Way to kill the messenger eh, Clicky? …/fiddles with lighter… *

… I confess, Dear Reader, when I read ‘chickpea’ in the article, Cicero sprang to mind…

Cicero’s cognomen, or personal surname, comes from the Latin for chickpeacicer. Plutarch explains that the name was originally given to one of Cicero’s ancestors who had a cleft in the tip of his nose resembling a chickpea. However, it is more likely that Cicero’s ancestors prospered through the cultivation and sale of chickpeas. Romans often chose down-to-earth personal surnames. The famous family names of Fabius, Lentulus, and Piso come from the Latin names of beans, lentils, and peas, respectively.’

… Roman Beans, Lentils and Peas, all vegan staples, but what is ‘aquafaba’? Back to the offending article…

”Of course, using aquafaba to make mayo isn’t new – the aforementioned vegan mayos use aquafaba from soy beans – but Rubies’ aquafaba is a byproduct of the hummus industry.

‘‘We were inspired to get back into the kitchen after we saw a vegan foodie blogger was making gorgeous looking meringue with aquafaba, saying it performed just like egg whites,’ says Rubies co-founder, Jenny Costa.’

*You just had to bring it back to physics, Clicky… /rolls eyes… *

Rubble scratch

*Yeah… /pats snout… I don’t understand it either… /final drag… Shall we wrap this one up?*

Hold Your Horses

*What?… /stubs butt…*

chickpea crisis

*Oh fuck! Well that’s even more of a reason for hummus producers to sell their been water to the vegans… Waste not, want knot…*

Apparently, we are in the midst of a great ‘Chickpea Crisis‘, Dear Reader…

Scooby snigger

*I know! Shh…*

‘The price of popular brand Me Too! has gone up by 12p for a 250g pot and 19p for a 500g pot. But the makers say the price rises have been down to the supermarkets.’

Whoa! Brand #metoo is getting kinda pricey. I think we need a Song 😉

 

Pinch, Punch…

I hope you had a sufficiently spooky Halloween yesterday, Dear Reader…

A prominent American television host has fainted live on air, returning just minutes later to host the remainder of her programme.

Fifty-three-year-old Wendy Williams fell to the ground during a live broadcast of her morning show, in a segment dedicated to her annual Halloween costume contest.

If I may direct your attention to the recent LoL post, ‘Miss Chief Maker‘…

*Overheated, my arse, Clicky… She looked like she’d seen a… mouse?*

The Underdog Anthology Three: Treeskull Stories

bookcovertreeskull

Not long now ’til Christmas, Dear Reader 😉 Have a Song…

 

Knot Barred… With Update

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Yes, Dear Reader, The Underdog Anthology is well on nigh

*I am not a princess, Clicky! …/looks aghast… *

*/sniff… Sandwich Queen, maybe… Now stop interrupting me…*

Anyway, as I was saying, Dear Reader, The Underdog Anthology will be published very soon…

*No, Clicky, my pen name’s Roo B. Doo… sounds like RooBeeDoo…*

wise-words

*Yeah well I’m rather more fond of a shamble than Tiff… /shoos away assistant… Now, stop butting in…*

Leggy, the Underdog, is keen not to make the cover too attractive to children. Personally, I think the little buggers could do with reading the superbly written horror, sex and violence that unfolds inside…

cover3a

*/Squints… It’s his pub, Clicky… Leggy’s the gaffer and I fully respect that… Now fuck off for a minute, I want to put the poem in…*

As an ‘Afterword’ in his other short story collections, a literary giant is giving a kicking – Lewis Carroll in ‘Dark Thoughts and Demons‘, and Edgar Allan Poe in ‘Fears of the Old and New‘.  For The Underdog Anthology, Leggy enticed me into a bit of vandalism…

 

loading_wait_doctor_who

*Oh yeah… Anyone that knows me, noses there was only one giant, I’d take on, Clicky…*

So, Dear Reader, reproduced below is my afterword contribution to The Underdog Anthology… Sonnet 6+6+6…

ode-by-a-smoking-brexiteer

Dear Reader… Have a Song ❤

*******

Update

Dear Reader, we now have a back cover