For her upcoming trip to New York, Sister Juju has bought herself a pair of shoes.
*’Converse’, Clicky… adjective or verb?*
converse (adj.)“exact opposite,” 1560s, from Latin conversus “turn around,” past participle of convertere “to turn about” (see convert). Originally mathematical. The noun is attested from 1550s in mathematics. Related: Conversely.
converse (v.)“to communicate (with),” 1590s; earlier “to move about, live, dwell” (mid-14c.), from Old French converser “to talk” (12c.), from Latin conversari (see conversation). Related: Conversed; conversing.
*Both! /Claps hands… Okay you start*
*Black star, white star?… /thinks… Oh, David Bowie!*
*That reminds me, the smiley face badge – Thoughtful Man and I watched ‘Watchmen’ the night before last. Now that was extremely dark… I feel-good romp if ever I saw one.*
*DB’s first hit song, but you really don’t have to slow down on my account, Clicky. Cheek!*
*Yes, he smoked. Do you know, some fuckwits believe that was what killed David Bowie? Even though he’d done their ‘right thing’ and given up.*
*Painted black on the inside… well, that’s the world we live under now, Clicky… he did rather predict it…*
“Actually, I want to say a few things on the album.
“Like, ‘Right’ is putting a positive drone over. People forget what the sound of Man’s instinct is – it’s a drone, a mantra. And people, say: ‘Why are so many things popular that just drone on and on’. But that’s the point really. It reaches a particular vibration, not necessarily a musical level.”
And that’s what ‘Right’ is…
“Oh, alright … let’s talk about the rest of the album. Very decadent this is [laughs]. ‘Somebody Up There Likes Me‘ is a ‘Watch out mate, Hitler’s on his way back’… it’s your rock and roll sociological bit.
“And ‘Across The Universe‘, which was a flower power sort of thing John Lennon wrote. I always thought it was fabulous, but very watery in the original, and I hammered the hell out of it. Not many people like it. I like it a lot and I think I sing very well at end of it.
“People say I used John Lennon on the track … but let me tell you … no one uses John Lennon. John just came and played on it. He was lovely.
“‘Can You Hear Me‘ was written for somebody but I’m not telling you who it is. That is a real love song. I kid you not. And the end of the thing is ‘Fame‘ which was more or less sung about what we’re doing now.”
*Back to the other side of Juju’s shoes, Clicky? Yes, well currently things are looking rather ‘in the soup‘ /titter… *
Clicky for a Song
*That’s right, David Bowie portrayed Andy Warhol in ‘Basquiat‘… sounds like ferocious biscuit, if you ask me 😉 *
sad (adj.)Old English sæd“sated, full, having had one’s fill (of food, drink, fighting, etc.), weary of,” from Proto-Germanic *sathaz (cognates: Old Norse saðr, Middle Dutch sat, Dutch zad, Old High German sat, German satt, Gothic saþs“satiated, sated, full”), from PIE *seto- (cognates: Latin satis“enough, sufficient,” Greek hadros“thick, bulky,” Old Church Slavonic sytu, Lithuanian sotus“satiated,” Old Irish saith“satiety,”sathach“sated”), from root *sa-“to satisfy” (cognates: Sanskrit a-sinvan“insatiable”).
Sense development passed through the meaning “heavy, ponderous” (i.e. “full” mentally or physically), and “weary, tired of” before emerging c. 1300 as “unhappy.” An alternative course would be through the common Middle English sense of “steadfast, firmly established, fixed” (as in sad-ware“tough pewter vessels”) and “serious” to “grave.” In the main modern sense, it replaced Old English unrot, negative of rot “cheerful, glad.”
Meaning “very bad” is from 1690s. Slang sense of “inferior, pathetic” is from 1899; sad sack is 1920s, popularized by World War II armed forces (specifically by cartoon character invented by Sgt. George Baker, 1942, and published in U.S. Armed Forces magazine “Yank”), probably a euphemistic shortening of common military slang phrase sad sack of shit.
Going to watch the film again. Further comment will appear later, under the Song
*******
Update: 8th February 2016
So I watched the movie again today. Last week, after writing the above post, Thoughtful Man was watching an episode of ‘Comic Book Men‘ and Mike Zapcic, in conversation (as they do), said that he’d begged his father to take him to the cinema to see ‘The Sting’ because he had a thing for Charles Durning.
Charles Durning, of course, played Waring Hudsucker and that sync, I have to admit, is a bit of a weird on all kinds of levels. Plus, of course, Paul(i) Gnuman starred in both the ‘Hudsucker Proxy’ and ‘The Sting’ 😉
*Blue letter… Thank you for reminding me, Clicky*
Kit Kat wanted me watch a YouTube video this evening that made him larf…
*Oh for fuck’s sake, Clicky. This game of charadesof yours… /rolls eyes… It’s called ‘Give Us A Clue‘! Have a Song.*
*It’s your fault, Clicky. You’re the reason I’m in this pickle…*
Blame Clicky?
*Yes, I’m blaming you… you arrived first, you could’ve let me know the Professor was there visiting…*
Clicky Innocent Face
*A party, though, for Valentine’s Day at the LoL? We don’t usually acknowledge that day, let alone celebrate it. What was I thinking?*
Clicky flustered..?
*I panicked. It was the first thing that popped into my head, Clicky…*
Clicky Professor..?
*Yes, I invited him, but it wasn’t that cryptic; I sent him atweet… I have no idea if he’ll come and now I have to think of a theme just in case people do turn up…*
Clicky bats an idea
*Oh, that’s… that’s brilliant!*
mascara (n.) cosmetic for coloring eyelashes, 1883, mascaro (modern form from 1922), from Spanish mascara“a stain, a mask,” from same source as Italian maschera “mask” (see mask (v.)).
*We all wear masks online all the time! A ‘come as you are’…*
Clicky Bottle
*Absolutely! Better get some nibbles in… I’m still holding you responsible, Clicky, but have a Song.*
“Good morning, darling.” Thoughtful Man hovered above me as I cracked open a sleepy eye.
“Oh fuck. Who’s died overnight now?” Yesterday, it Terry Wogan‘s turn. I’m happy to confirm that the ‘Floral Dance‘ didn’t appear in any way, shape or form on Thoughtful Man’s ‘CD of Death‘.
“No, I bought you a present.” A second sleepy eye was dragged open by a quizzical eyebrow. “And if you get up, you lazy cow, I’ll show you”. Charming!
Later, in the Library, after arming myself with fortifying coffee and a wake up smoke, I discovered what my present was. It was a book.
Clicky says ‘Epic’
“Thanks, that’s lovely. Where did you get it?” I sat down at my PC, only slightly disappointed that my present wasn’t hot and more bacony… and in sandwich form. I started to leaf through the pages.
“The Pound Shop. I didn’t say it was an expensive present.” Thoughtful Man was already seated at his computer with Clicky on hand should he require assistance.
“Gold Rush! Ha! I remember those.”
Clicky for a Song
“Jubblies… Pacers, Space Dust!” I stopped flipping. “Oh my god. Spangles!”
Clicky ‘cos once you start…
“I knew a Spangle once.” Thoughtful Man replied. “On the train.”
“Did you give him the name ‘Spangle’?” I already knew the answer to this but waited for him to reply – most nicknames bestowed to his co-workers on the train originated from Thoughtful Man’s uncanny ability to make them snap.
“Yes.”
“Figures. Oh no. No, no, no. Now, do you remember these?” I held up the book so that Thoughtful Man could see. “Texans!”
Clicky for the long chew
“I loved those!” I should have known better, Thoughtful Man loves nougat.
“The advert was better than the sweet.” Now Clicky assisted me.
Thoughtful Man stood up; it was time for his and Poppy’s Monday morning nap. “So what are you going to do now?” He scooped up pooch from her cushion, where she’d been quietly gnawing on her ball. “You could start writing your CV. And maybe look for a job.”
Ouch! He had a point; I really should start looking for some work. “Okay but I thought I might write a post first.” I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.
“About what?”
“Sweets?”
“Wombat!” Thoughtful Man addressed himself rather than me. “I’ve just fucking enabled you again, haven’t I?”
“Don’t snap. I’ll have to call you Wombat from now on.”
He stomped off. I lit a fresh smoke and peered into my empty coffee cup. I’ll start it later 😉
“Hey! Come take a look at the moon. It’s everso bright tonight.” I called out to Thoughtful Man.
I stood in the doorway, shivering in the darkness, as Poppy stalked nocturnal creatures in the long grass of the garden. The last run out of the evening – her location only given away by her ramrod tail, like an antenna… ‘Taking a dump, here’.
Soft footsteps approached from behind before warm arms casually embraced my shoulders. “Oh my god, Looby, you stink!”
“Mum. I’m one of the top three thousand COD Black Ops 3 players in the world… I sweat.”
I gently lifted his arms and twirled away from beneath them. “Yes, well you need to have a wash before you go to bed.” I marveled at his hairy lankiness and tried to remember the last time I was able to pick him up.
“What’s up?” Thoughtful Man joined us, closely followed by an equally hairy but broad shouldered Kitten who’d been loitering around the fridge. Again.
“Look. I don’t think it’s full but the moon is really bright tonight.” I pointed out to the shimmering disc floating above the rooftops over the way.
‘Ums’ and ‘ahs’ and ‘Oh yeahs’ followed before Thoughtful Man pointed out the sentry. “Look, he’s carrying a lance or a pike.”
Clicky for a Song
“What’s the other thing, then?” I asked as Poppy decided to rejoin the crowd.
“Dunno. Some sort of giant spider…”
I grabbed the handle and pulled the backdoor close. “Cheers! Thanks for that thought.” I shivered again, this time from the sensation of three separate hands making creepy crawlie movements on my back and head. “Bastards! Don’t do that!”
Poppy gave me her ‘pick me up’ look as the three men of the house moved away, howling with laughter.
*Actually, there’s been no question about it, for this week I have been laid low by a bug…
Clicky for a Sing-a-long
*No, Clicky, knot that sort of bug… but OMG, the boys were so cute whizzing around on those… sigh…*
It started last weekend when Kit Kat came home from school feeling snotty…
*Yes, Click, he’s a teenager now and yes, he’s sometimes full of himself but in this case he was also full of cold.*
He didn’t have a fever so I did what my mum or nan would have done… sent him to bed with plenty of fluids and prepared him lots of tasty meals. It must of worked because by Monday morning he was fit and raring to go. I, on the other hand, woke that morning distinctly feeling under the weather. His bug had transferred itself to me.
It settled on my chest like a dachshund determined to wake me up from deep slumbers and there it has stayed. This has meant that I haven’t been able to smoke…
AA: Well done, Jamie and Alex. What about that?! You’ve seen off ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here’. You’ve seen off ‘The Apprentice’ in the Head to Head. Er, and you saw off ‘Big Brother’. I mean fantastic and you’ve won our coveted Pointless trophy.
Clicky for Pointlessly Pointed
JAMIE: We feel honoured.
AA: Wa-well.
ALEX: Ecstatic.
AA: As… so you should. You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities, which is very exciting. At the end of today’s show the jackpot stands at two thousand five hundred. Interestingly untroubled…
Clicky for a look
AA: Well you’ve done very well indeed. What would like to finish this show off with? What, what is your dream topic?
JAMIE: I feel like I would like something… movies would be alright. Movies, I usually do alright… movies.
ALEX: I could go for history, something like that.
JAMIE: No! Why history?
ALEX: I did it…
JAMIE: It’s so big! It’s such a big topic… shorten it. ‘Made in Chelsea’ would be great actually… let’s go ‘Made in Chelsea’.
OZ: I’m sorry, too many pointless answers I’m afraid.
Clicky for quick draw
JAMIE: Oh we can edit that out…
AA: Ha ha ha ha… yeah.
Clicky for look
AA: Er, you get to choose your category for this final round from the 4 we put up on the board behind me. Let’s see what today’s selection looks like… We’ve got ‘Rappers’. We’ve got ‘The Year 2008’. We’ve got ‘Horror Film Directors’ and we’ve got ‘The X Factors’.
RxB: Ooh, I hope they don’t pick the X Factor, I would not have clue.
SEB: I’ll take a wild stab and say they’re not going to be going for rappers. 2008 maybe, that or the X Factor.
RxB: Not horror film directors? They’re both jolly ‘frightfully alright’…
SEB: Fucking Chelsea!
RxB: Spoken like true Fulham fan.
JAMIE: The year 2008… everything else seems so b… Can you do any X Factor winners?
ALEX: Yes but let’s go 2008.
JAMIE: We’ll go ‘The Year 2008’ please.
Clicky for the year 2008
RxB: Yay!
AA: There we are. Richard?
OZ: Good luck gents, 3 very different categories so take your answers from any of these, however you want to do it. We are looking for anybody who was nominated for a Best Actor or Best Actress Oscar in 2008. Or Best Supporting Actress, Best Supporting Actor…
SEB: What was out in 2008? The King’s Speech?
RxB: No, that was later… Erm, I don’t know, I can’t remember.
OZ: We’re looking for any act that had one of the 50 best selling albums in 2008…
RxB: Bollocks! No idea.
OZ: Or we’re looking for any country which won a gold at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, apart from GB.
RxB: Right, um… North Korea… Er, one of the ones that used to be Russia…
SEB: Ukraine?
RxB: Probably… should go for a South American country… Argentina. Didn’t they win the football?
SEB: Dunno.
OZ: So, any actor or actress Oscar nominees. Any acts who had one of the 50 best selling albums. Or any gold medal winning countries at the 2008 Olympics. Very best of luck guys. I hope they’re, er, good categories in there for you.
Click for deja vu with 2008
AA: Thank you very much indeed. Okay, now as always you have up to 1 minute to come up with 3 answers and all you need to win that jackpot for your charities is for just 1 of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?
JAMIE: No.
ALEX: Not at all, this is hard.
JAMIE: This is really hard!
AA: Okay. Let’s put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are. Your time starts… now.
ALEX: Okay. So what’s a good gold winning..?
JAMIE: ‘K ‘k, you think of that, think of that one. I’ll think… Okay so, so, okay Oscars… What was that like in 2008? Was it, er was it Schinder’s List, something like that?
ALEX: No, that’s a lot older than that.
RxB: Oh for fuck’s sake! Schinder’s List? That was last century!
SEB: I’m gonna let the dog out – they’re getting on my nerves.
RxB: Okay.
JAMIE: I don’t think it is much older than that…
ALEX: Yeah. Yeah.
JAMIE: … 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15… 7 years ago. That’s like Schinder’s List…
Clicky for knot Nilson
ALEX: 2008… Is that when they brought out the first Batman?
JAMIE: Batman? That didn’t win an Oscar!
RxB: Yeah it did. Heath Ledger… no, that would have been at the Oscars in 2009…
JAMIE: The, um… so who actually had best selling albums in 2008… who was big in 2008? Seven years ago, who were we listening to? Um…
ALEX: Ad, Adele, I think might of have had a…
JAMIE: Adele!
ALEX: Er, Amy Winehouse?
JAMIE: The computer Adele. Erm…
ALEX: That’s a Dell. Um, so I reckon Amy Winehouse or, or…
JAMIE: Okay, Amy Winehouse. Medals would be, what, really random countries.
ALEX: Like shooting. Who’s really good at shooting? Like…
RxB: South Korea, Thailand..?
AA: 10 seconds left.
JAMIE: Finland. Amy Winehouse, Finland and… let’s go for, um, an actor would be okay… stop the…
ALEX: Daniel Day-Lewis for the actor. I don’t know why.
AA: Okay, that is your time up. I now need your 3 answers. What are you going to give?
RxB: North Korea, Ukraine and Argentina. (shouts) I’M GOING ARGENTINA, NORTH KOREA… ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
JAMIE: Okay, for one of them, because he’s won loads…
ALEX: Daniel Day-Lewis.
AA: Daniel Day-Lewis as the actor… an actor.
JAMIE: Yes. Acts will be a best selling… No, then we’re going gold medal, we’ll just pick two, gold medal… come on.
ALEX: Switzerland.
JAMIE: Okay, Switzerland.
AA: Switzerland.
RxB: Nah. Roger Fedora…
JAMIE: And we’ll go for someone like, er, care, er, Kenya?
RxB: No chance! Too well known for long distance running.
AA: Kenya. Okay. Switzerland and Kenya as our gold medal winners. Of those 3 which is your best shot at a pointless answer?
ALEX: I think Kenya.
AA: Okay, Kenya. Shall we put Kenya last?
JAMIE: Yeah, let’s put Kenya last.
AA: Least likely to be pointless?
JAMIE: Daniel Day…
ALEX: Lewis.
AA: Daniel Day-Lewis, we’ll put him first. Let’s pop those up on the board in that order then. And here they are. We’ve got Daniel Day-Lewis, Switzerland, Kenya. Well, 3 good answers, I’d say, on the board there.
JAMIE: You think?
AA: I think so. The question is will any of them be pointless.
RxB: Okay? Did she have a wee?
SEB: Yeah. Well they aren’t going to be pointless.
RxB: Yeah, well we’ve gone for Argentina, North Korea and Ukraine.
AA: If any of them is pointless, you will win that jackpot for your charities. Wa, wa, what charities are you playing for. Jamie?
JAMIE: My charity is ‘Rays of Sunshine‘, which is, er, a charity that brings bright light into really poorly kids, aged from 3 to 18.
AA: Very good. Fingers crossed. As I say, 3 good answers there. Let’s hope 1 of them is pointless and you can take that jackpot home for those charities. Well your first answer is Daniel Day-Lewis and, in this case, we were looking for 2008 Oscar nominees. Remember, it has to be pointless for you to win. Let’s find out how many of our 100 people said ‘Daniel Day-Lewis’.
Click for view from one’s door
AA: One!
ALEX: I don’t believe it!
JAMIE: Nooo!
RxB: That was close!
AA: One person got Daniel Day-Lewis.
ALEX: I want to find that person.
JAMIE: Who was it?
ALEX: Was it Daniel Day-Lewis?
JAMIE: It was Daniel Day-Lewis himself.
AA: Ah, bad luck. Not a pointless answer which means you only have 2 more shots at today’s jackpot.
JAMIE: That is so unfair!
AA: Your next answer was Switzerland and in this case, we were looking for medal winners at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Again, it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot of two thousand, five hundred pounds. How many people said Switzerland? Is it pointless? It’s right.
JAMIE: It’s right again?! Unbelievable!
AA: Daniel Day-Lewis took us all the way down to 1. This is Switzerland now taking us down…
JAMIE: Come on!
AA: …through the twenties…
JAMIE: Come on!
AA: …and the teens, will it be..?
JAMIE: COME ON!
AA: …It’s still going down, going down…
JAMIE: GO ON! Yeah…
AA: It’s one!
JAMIE & ALEX: Ooh!!!
ALEX: I don’t believe it!
Click for view of one’s front door
RxB: Switzerland only got one? Ours are looking good then.
JAMIE: Oh no, Daniel Day-Lewis again! Is he in Switzerland?
AA: Incredibly close so far. Everything is now riding on your third and final answer, which is Kenya.
JAMIE: This isn’t fair. Can we do it again? Who would have said Switzerland?!
OZ: Well you did.
JAMIE: I know but that was so random and pointless…
AA: Kenya is your third and final answer. This has to be pointless. Come on, to win the jackpot of two thousand five hundred, how many people said Kenya? Is it pointless? It’s right!
JAMIE: Come on!
SEB: It won’t be pointless.
RxB: Yeah, I know. Known for it, they are, known for it…
AA: Well, Daniel Day-Lewis was right, that took us down to 1. Switzerland was right. That took us all the way down to 1, as well. Kenya has to be pointless…
SEB: Winning gold for long distance running?
RxB: Yeah…
JAMIE & ALEX: Come on! Oh!
AA: Bad luck!
Clicky for a breaking sync…
SEB: Told you it wouldn’t be pointless.
ALEX: I can’t believe it.
AA: Listen. Okay, you didn’t win the jackpot but 3 excellent answers there considering how you felt when you started that minute. You managed to get 3 brilliant answers that took us right down to the bottom of the column. Er, I’m so sorry. That means you don’t win today’s jackpot of two thousand five hundred pounds. I’m sorry, however, as it is a celebrity special and everyone is playing for a charity, we’ll donate five hundred pounds to each celebrity pair for their respective charities. So you get that and you’ve been brilliant right the way across the show. You can hold your heads up high and you get a Pointless trophy each to take away as well. So there you are… it’s all good.
JAMIE: I don’t believe that.
OZ: Um, the gold medal winning countries was the place to get the pointless answers from because 53 countries won, er, won a gold medals at those Olympics and 30 of them are pointless. And one of the countries that was pointless was Finland.
RxB: Lordi! Not Finland again..?
ALEX: We said that!
SEB: What did we say again?
JAMIE: Oh we said Finland…
ALEX: Why didn’t we do it?
RxB: I told you – Argentina, North Korea and Ukraine. You chose Ukraine.
SEB: Well, that’s definitely going to be pointless.
RxB: We’ll see. That’s a pretty low score for Kenya, 4.
OZ: And I was just waiting for you to read it out and you didn’t do it.
JAMIE: Ooh!
OZ: Let’s take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories. There will be ones you know in all of these, I’m afraid. Um, we’ll start with, er, actors and actresses. Julie Christie, Marion Cotillard, Tom Wilkinson, Tommy Lee Jones. You could have had Philip Seymour-Hoffman. You could have had Hal Holbrook, Amy Ryan. You could have had Ellen Page… lots of pointless answers there.
SEB: Did we say any of those?
RxB: No.
OZ: Let’s move on to the best selling albums. Elbow would have been a pointless answer, also Guns n’ Roses. You could have had Leona Lewis… N-Dubz, unbelievably was a pointless answer. Celine Dion, Chris Brown, Enrique Iglesias, Il Divo, Mark Ronson, Will Young. All of those were pointless. Well done if you said any of those.
RxB: Nope. Gold winning countries, come on…
OZ: And the gold medal winning countries… as I said, there’s 30 odd countries here…
OZ: Argentina is pointless. Mongolia, New Zealand, Poland. You could have had Azerbaijan, Czech Republic, Denmark, North Korea…
RxB: Double pointless!
OZ: …Norway, Thailand, Tunisa, Turkey, Ukraine…
RxB: Fucking hell! Triple pointless!
SEB: They’d never let you on this show – your language is disgusting. Well done, babes.
OZ: …Uzbekistan and our good friends in the Netherlands, all of those were pointless answers. Gents, it’s been an absolutely pleasure having you on the show and I’m so sorry. 1, 1 and 4 is terrific work in that final round.
RxB: Triple pointless… I shall bask awhile and then do the ironing.
SEB: Yeah, get on with it, bitch.
RxB: Oi! Triple pointless bitch, thank you.
AA: Thanks very much. Well unfortunately we have to say goodbye, Jamie and Alex, but just to add to what Richard said, it’s been brilliant having you on the show. A great performance and, er, thank you so much for playing. Jamie and Alex! Brilliant! Join us next time when we’ll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless. Meanwhile its goodbye from Richard.
OZ: Goodbye.
AA: And it’s goodbye from me. Goodbye.
Clicky for a Song
*******
Any questions, please put them in comments. I have got a stinking cold and am going to bed but either I or Clicky will be about to reply to any tomorrow.
AA: Okay, here’s comes your third question. Now Jamie and Alex, you get to answer it first but Solomon and Ruth, once again you have to win it to stay in the game. So, best of luck. It concerns…
OZ: We’re gonna show you the names of 5 zoo animals now but, er… I wish we hadn’t done this now… we’ve put them in anagram form. Can you unscramble them and give us the most obscure answer please…
Clicky for… *Er, Clicky, that looks shit…*
OZ: …and when I say ‘please’, I mean poleeze…
RxB: You got the controller? It’s anagrams, pause it.
SEB: Way ahead of you.
AA: Thanks, Richard. So let’s reveal our 5 anagrams and here they come…
RxB: What do you reckon we should go with, alligator or antelope?
SEB: Which one’s alligator?
RxB: Alligator it is.
AA: We’ve got ‘On Rich Rose’, ‘A Trial Log’, ‘Impeach Zen’, ‘Ark Meet’, ‘Lean Poet. I shall read those again, ‘On Rich Rose’, ‘A Trial Log’, ‘Impeach Zen’, ‘Ark Meet’, ‘Lean Poet. So, Jamie and Alex, you go first.
*Clicky, I cunt use that… or can I?*
JAMIE: My spelling is so bad…
ALEX: (whispers) Alligator is the second one.
JAMIE: You’re sure it is?
ALEX: I think so, yeah…
JAMIE: I don’t know how to spell!
ALEX: Should we go with the second one?
JAMIE: Is that how you spell it though?
ALEX: I think so.
JAMIE: You’re how sure?
ALEX: Er, 90%.
JAMIE: Okay for 90% I’ll take… if you’re wrong, I’ll be furious. Um, number 2 we think is alligator.
RxB: They’ve gone for our one. Come on Ruth, antelope. It’s the only one that might beat it.
SEB: Have a shot and pass me that packet of fags.
AA: Okay. Jamie and Alex are saying ‘Alligator’ for ‘A Trial Log’. Now then, er, Solomon and Ruth. The board is all yours, talk us through it.
RUTH: Okay, the second one up is meerkat.
SOLOMON: Ah yeah… I kinda think ‘ark meet’ is a real animal anyway.
Clicky for red paws
RxB: Fuck! They’re gonna go for meerkat. Bollocks!
RUTH: Yeah, let’s… shall we go *claps* we’ll go for meerkat.
AA: Okay, you’re gonna go for ‘meerkat’. So we’ve got ‘alligator’, we’ve got ‘meerkat’. Jamie and Alex said ‘alligator’, let’s see if that’s right, let’s see how many people said ‘alligator’.
Clicky for confused
AA: 16!
JAMIE: That’s not us… oh it is us… Come On!
Clicky for sumthing
ALEX: I wondered why you weren’t celebrating.
AA: Okay, Solomon and Ruth have gone for ‘meerkat’ for ‘ark meet’. Let’s see if that’s right and if it is, how many people said that. It’s right. Oi! Look at that 83!
RxB: Fuck me, that’s high!
SEB: Ooh. Did she win the apprentice?
RxB: Na. She got beat in the final to someone who outsourced telecoms to India.
AA: Very well done. After 3 questions we’ve finally got there. Jamie and Alex, you go through to the final 2 nil.
OZ: Er, yes, it’s the best answer on the board as well, gents. Very well played.
Clicky by the numbers
OZ: Um, the top one is ‘rhinoceros’, would have scored you 26. The middle one, chimpanzee, would have scored you 38. And at the bottom…
AA: Antelope.
OZ: ‘Antelope’ and that would have scored you 19. So, yeah, ‘alligator’, best answer up there.
RxB: I knew it! Now I can play for the Jackpot Round.
SEB: You can anyway.
RxB: Yeah, I know but… it doesn’t matter. Shot?
SEB: Yeah. Go and get a fresh can of Bull from the fridge, this one’s dead.
AA: There we are. So, the pair laving us at the end of the Head 2 Head round… and I’m sorry, Solomon and Ruth, it is you. You made it this far. Listen, it been such an experience having you on the show. Er, please come back and do it again.
RUTH: Yeah… never, never.
AA: Thanks very much for playing. Solomon and Ruth!
RUTH: Thank you.
Click for Solomon wave
AA: But for Jamie and Alex it’s time for our Pointless Final.
*******
Yikes! Only the Jackpot Round left, when all will be revealed… Have a Song 😉
This is exciting for a Pointless exercise in physics, innit?
The Made in Chelsea Boys are up 1 nil in the Head 2 Head by picking La Cotton for their answer. Neither The Apprentice team (on screen Ruth) nor the home team, Team Bonner (The Invisibles) could beat that answer.
Couldn’t rely on, let’s face it, Apprentice losers to get a Ruth to the final and a chance at the jackpot… I was gonna have to pull my finger out…
Click for Song. H/t A Void on Merovee for posting it
On with the show…
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AA: Thanks very much. Okay, well here’s comes your second question. Solomon and Ruth, you get to answer this one first, but you have to win it to stay in the game. The second question concerns…
AA: Eurovision winners. Richard?
OZ: We’re now going to play you, er, a little extract from 5 Eurovision Song Contest winning songs. We need you to tell us the name of the country that released, er, these 5 songs, please.
AA: Okay. So, let’s play our five excerpts. Here is the first excerpt, we have A.
Click to Hear Song A
SEB: That’s Dana. Ireland.
RxB: Yep.
AA: Here’s B.
Click to Hear Song B
(SEB and RxB look at each other and pull ‘I don’t know faces’.)
AA: C.
Click to Hear Song C
RxB: No fucking clue.
SEB: Me either.
AA: Here’s D.
RxB & SEB: Sweden.
Click to Hear Song D
AA: And here, er, is E.
Click to Hear Song E
SEB: That’s Lordi. Norway.
RxB: No, Finland. They’re Finnish; everyone makes that mistake.
SEB: Oooo…
RxB: Shut up! I’m going E, Finland.
AA: There we go, five excerpts from Eurovision winners. Solomon and Ruth what are you going to go for?
RUTH: Erm, ohh, no…
SOLOMON: Alright, let’s…
RUTH: I know the last one, I can actually hear…
SOLOMON: Shall we flip a coin?
RUTH: No. I can actually hear the last song because it’s a mad video, so I can see it in my head.
SOLOMON: I think you’ve got a gut feeling on this one.
RUTH: Right, I’m gonna punt it. I’m gonna go E and I’m gonna go Norway…
RxB: Noo! It’s fucking Finland *sigh*
AA: E, Norway says Solomon and Ruth. E, Norway. Now, Jamie and Alex talk us through the rest of the board.
JAMIE: Ha hum…
ALEX & JAMIE: Well…
JAMIE: Do you wanna begin?
ALEX: We were trying to sort of pick out languages and I believe B was sung in French.
JAMIE: Ya, so we’re thinking…
ALEX: Um, but other than that it was all English, I think.
JAMIE: Then you, though, you thought E was… He went E, it’s Scandinavian…
ALEX: Scandinavian… Swedish maybe…
JAMIE: I think we’ll do B then, so we’ll go B, French.
AA: You’re gonna say B, France. So we have E – Norway, B – France. Solomon and Ruth said E, Norway. Let’s see if that’s right, let’s see how many of our 100 people said ‘Norway’.
Click for RxB Reaction
AA: Nooo… Er, Jamie and Alex said ‘B, France’, so let’s see if that’s right, let’s see how many people said it. It only has to be right for you to win the point.
Click for RxB Reaction
AA: Noo… both wrong. Er, which means after 2 questions, Jamie and Alex you’re still up 1 nil.
OZ: There’s people at home screaming, please just go for Abba… Go for Abba!
JAMIE: Do you know, we couldn’t remember where Abba were from, we couldn’t remember.
OZ: Er, the first one. Let’s take a, let’s take a tiny listen to A… Is Dana for Ireland and Ireland would have scored you 66. B… It’s not France. It’s Celine Dion singing for Switzerland and it would have been a good answer, actually. It would have scored you 11.
SEB: Oh, Celine Dion. Didn’t know that.
RxB: I’m just waiting to see how many points Finland scored.
OZ: The third one was Conchita Wurst, very famously, er, and, er… Austria, the answer there and Austria would have scored you 27.
RxB: Oh that’s the bearded lady from Austria. That’s a Shining word, you know.
SEB: How’s my beard looking? *sticks out chin*
RxB: *caresses SEB’s face* Very nice, stubbly.
OZ: D, Abba from Sweden… we discover. Sweden would have scored you 81. And E? Everyone’s right, it’s Lordi from Finland and that would have scored you 39.
AA: Lordy indeed.
RxB: Told ya! Finland.
SEB: Yep. You won that one *rubs chin* I’ll give you your prize later *winks*
*******
Nail biting, eh? 😉
Next up the Head 2 Head continues. Will the next question be the decider or will Ruth and Solomon pull it back to one all. You’ll just have to to tune in next time to find out… unless of course you’ve seen the episode 😉
Library of Libraries 