“Here,” Thoughtful Man called, “Big Chief Double Chopper has had a makeover. Take a look.”
I peered at his computer screen. Big Chief Double Chopper had been mum’s garden Indian that lived in her front room. After she died, her husband Stan took the opportunity to have him re-homed. I don’t blame him; what man wants to face a double chopper on the way to the kitchen first thing in the morning.
“Aw, it’s nice that they’ve sent an update,” I said.
“A bit garish,” Thoughtful Man opined. “Stan’s got a point, though, are red Indians supposed to be black?”
I smiled, recalling a couple of commentsRedFrank has posted for me on ‘Scatty Sunday’. “Fuck knows,” I replied, giving him my considered opinion.
*Clicky, random…/sigh*
“Hmm,” I said to myself, sitting down and lighting a rollie.
Thoughtful Man swiveled round in his chair. “What?” he said launching a squint in my direction. We’re far too close, I couldn’t dodge it.
“No, it’s just I was reading about the Lost River yesterday. It was weird how I got there. Actually, I was thinking of writing a post about it…” I trailed off.
“Lost River? What do you mean how you got there?” he probed gently. That was unexpected, he normally doesn’t like to talk to me about my posts but then again he’s a bit of an American history buff – he’d probably heard of it on one of his TV programmes.
*Is that Chief or Chef’s office..? /shakes head… Nevermind…*
“Okay then,” I hesitated and marshaled my thoughts. “The journey begins in a pub.”
Thoughtful Man continued looking at me without speaking, so I showed him the tweet that had started it. The source. “Lions and tigers and beers…” I trailed off again. I do a lot of that.
“It was the description of the smoking area,” I continued. Clicky escorted him to the page.
Cleckheaton doesn’t have an Ossett pub, but the Rose & Crown is a newbie with a similar atmosphere. It was more boisterous than my photos imply; lots of £2.60 pints were being carried out to a characterful smoking area. Worryingly the £2.60 pint of choice seemed to be Ellands 6.5% Porter. Their homebrew pale was enough for me (NBSS 3.5).
*Yes, Clicky, any mentions of Roobee and his attention does start to wane… and he’s not a beer drinker, though he is fond of a Lion bar… Anyway, I told him the last line of the article and said to remember it…*
‘Plenty of Bass livery, very little Bass.’
“Is there any chance you might skip to the end?” Thoughtful Man asked politely.
“No. So I looked up the year 1872, of Deep Ruby, and there was this Indian battle of Lost River in the November,” I replied.
‘The Battle of Lost River in November 1872 was the first battle in the Mo Doc War in the northwestern United States. The skirmish, which was fought near the Lost River along the California-Oregon border, was the result of an attempt by the U.S. 1st Cavalry Regiment of the United States Army to force a band of the Modoctribe to relocate back to the Klamath Reservation, which they had left in objection of its conditions.
In the subsequent war, Captain Jack of the Modoc and 53 warriors held off more than 1000 U.S. soldiers for 7 months in the area of the present-day Lava Beds National Monument. Part of this was named Captain Jack’s Stronghold in his honor.’
Thoughtful Man sighed heavily and started to swivel round. “Is that it?”
*A little bit, Clicky… /holds out thumb and index finger…*
“Not quite,” I answered. “You forgot the last line.”
Thoughtful Man wrinkled his brow. “Plenty of bass livery, very little bass?”
“Yes,” I smiled. “They’re all in Lost River.”
A sluggish stream, Lost River offers fishing opportunities for bass, up to 7 lb (3.2 kg), brown bullhead, crappie, yellow perch, and Sacramento perch. Trout are uncommon in this river.
*Oh Clicky, get off! …/splutter… Really!*
*******
*What? Erm… /wipes lips and frowns… Dunno, Clicky, possibly this guy..? Shall we have a Song?*
“What are you laughing at?” Thoughtful Man asked rather grouchily. He was getting dressed for work and I was sat at my computer. He tends to be grouchy when he’s getting ready for work. Or if I’m at the computer.
“Oh, it’s the positioning of these two tweets…” I started to answer but caught his Why-are-you-having-fun-when-I-have-to-work-on-Sunday?-look and stopped. “Nothing.”
*/squint… Clicky, please… /hold finger to lips… I’m talking…*
“I won’t just be sitting here whilst you’re out,” I said, continuing to scroll down my twitter feed. “I have tidying and washing up to do, and the boys’ uniforms to iron.”
“PE tomorrow,” he reminded me, buckling his belt.
“And it’s PE tomorrow, so there’s more of it.”
Thoughtful Man harumphed and went to look for his shoes. Another tweet caught my eye.
For my money, the best story in the press today: Alan Johnson on how Tony Blair almost set up a Ministry of Penis. pic.twitter.com/82H9Mb674c
“What’ll you feed them tonight?” Thoughtful Man had returned, fully dressed and shod, wearing his stop-laughing-when-I-have-to-work-on-Sunday-look.
I composed myself and addressed him seriously. “Whatever’s out there. We’ve got plenty of food in the fridge. What about you?”
I caught it, the fleeting guilty look. “Where will you be eating tonight?”
“Chinese,” Thoughtful Man replied without meeting my eyes. “It’s Al’s last night tonight and we thought we take him for a Chinese.”
“Aw, that’s nice,” I said wearing my why-are-you-moaning-about-going-to-work-when-you’re-having-Chinese?-look. I scooped up Poppy, who was sniffing round our feet. “This is in addition to his leaving drinks you went to on Thursday?”
Thoughtful Man started toward the front door and we followed, me rubbing and patting his shoulders, whilst our demented dachshund wriggled and writhed under my arm.
“Yeah, well Tony couldn’t make it on Thursday so they’re going to dinner tonight,” he explained, opening the door.
“And you’re going along to say goodbye again. You’re a good friend,” I assured him and pecked him on the cheek. Poppy gave him a perfunctory lick. She too could be grouchy when Thoughtful Man was off to work. “Okay then, I see you later. Have fun.”
I closed the door after him, set the dog down and made for the kitchen – washing up first; I had an idea for a post and wanted to get all my chores over with first. I heard the key turn in the lock behind me.
“Here’s twenty quid,” Thoughtful Man said, poking his head round the door and pulling a note from his workbag. “Get something for you and boys from Hong Kong Kitchen later. Better go now. Bye.”
I waved him off. Such a Thoughtful Man!
*******
*Okay Clicky, what? What’s with The Shining interruptions?*
*But they’re all over the place, they’re not making sense… /works out order…*
The universe began13.7 billion years ago, and the CMB dates back to about 400,000 years after the Big Bang. That’s because in the early stages of the universe, when it was just one-hundred-millionth the size it is today, its temperature was extreme: 273 million degrees above absolute zero, according to NASA.
Any atoms present at that time were quickly broken apart into small particles (protons and electrons). The radiation from the CMB in photons (particles representing quantums of light, or other radiation) was scattered off the electrons. “Thus, photons wandered through the early universe, just as optical light wanders through a dense fog,” NASA wrote.
About 380,000 years after the Big Bang, the universe was cool enough that hydrogen could form. Because the CMB photons are barely affected by hitting hydrogen, the photons travel in straight lines. Cosmologists refer to a “surface of last scattering” when the CMB photons last hit matter; after that, the universe was too big. So when we map the CMB, we are looking back in time to 380,000 years after the Big Bang, just after the universe was opaque to radiation.
*You know, Scatman Crothers also voiced ‘Hong Kong Phooey’, Clicky and starred in Scooby Doo. You could have mentioned that*
*Too late, Clicky, I beat you too it. So, come on… Song and Scat?*
My friend Cade popped by yesterday to post a spider in comets on my Venus Flytrap post…
*I’ve always been scared of spiders, Clicky. It’s a phobia that I’m working hard to dispel… it’s the legs…*
*Not that Legs, Clicky… /rolls eyes*
Funnily enough on the same day I’d made my Venus post, Cade was describing his flies…
*Oh FFS! I can see why you like spending your time over there, Clicky, but do you have to be quite so graphic?*
Today is the birthday of the World Wide Web. This news was brought to me by the Sky Dick, Suck IT…
Four years ago, Tim Berners-Lee featured in the Opening Ceremony of the Olympic Games. Last night, the 2016 Games Opening Ceremony took place in Rio, Brazil…
*A humongous flop, Clicky, you wouldn’t like that at all… Will and Ken battling it out… actually Kenneth Branagh also featured in the 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony*
The musical directors for that one were Underworld…
*No shit, Clicky! /slaps head… Two years ago, when the World Cup was on in Brazil, Merovee Ken and I explored Luis Suarez and the ‘Ritual of Chomp‘…*
Chöd (Tibetan: གཅོད, Wylie: gcod lit. ‘to sever’[1]), is a spiritual practice found primarily in the Nyingma and Kagyu schools of Tibetan Buddhism (where it is classed asAnuttarayoga Tantra).[2] Also known as “Cutting Through the Ego,”,[3] the practices are based on the Prajñāpāramitā or “Perfection of Wisdom” sutras, which expound the “emptiness” concept of Buddhist philosophy.
According to Mahayana Buddhists, emptiness is the ultimate wisdom of understanding that all things lack inherent existence. Chöd combines prajñāpāramitā philosophy with specific meditation methods and tantric ritual. The chod practitioner seeks to tap the power of fear through activities such as rituals set in graveyards, and visualisation of offering their bodies in a tantric feast in order to put their understanding of emptiness to the ultimate test.[4]
*That’s enough for now, Clicky. Would you furnish Dear Reader with a Song?*
Saturday afternoon: Thoughtful Man has gone to work, boys are otherwise engaged and I am throwing a ball for Poppy, our dachshund – a perfect opportunity for some shambling.
Dear Reader, make of it what you will and, hopefully, enjoy.
*Clicky, just links in text for this one, please. I know you like hiding them but constructing a shambles is difficult enough without any tomfoolery*
*Hmm… Okay, go get the rainbow snowflakes…*
*******
On 13th July (13.7 or 137), I had a DM conversation with my friend Legs. I’d been loafing…
*Ha! Trust Leggy to think about the fertilizer, Clicky*
Waldi was the first proper Olympic mascot, for the Munich Games in 1972. The route of the Marathon race was based on the outline shape of Waldi, a dachshund. I’d shambled it before…
‘The considered and precise lines of the petite canine’s form are typical of Aicher’s clean modernist design and were used for the route of the marathon through the city of Munich. The various parts of the hound were represented by different areas of the city with the mouth being in the Nymphenburg Park, the belly — the main downtown street and in true German style, the rear end in the English Garden.’
If the rear (shitting) end was in the English Garden, what about the mouth (eating) end?
The 200-hectare (490-acre) park, once an Italian garden (1671), which was enlarged and rearranged in French style by Dominique Girard, a pupil of Le Notre, was finally redone in the English manner during the early 19th century by Friedrich Ludwig von Sckell, on behalf of prince-elector Charles Theodore. Von Sckell was also the creator of the English Garden in Munich.
Knot to mention, parks are considered Green (breathing) Lungs…
*Clicky…*
It’s got nothing to do with
Vorsprung durch Technik you know
(Parklife)
And it’s not about you joggers
Who go round and round and round
(Parklife)
*/rolls eyes… Okay, good one… running/jogging is movement*
In my youth, Snickers bars were called ‘Marathon‘…
1896, marathon race, from story of Greek hero Pheidippides, who in 490 B.C.E. ran the 26 miles and 385 yards to Athens from the Plains of Marathon to tell of the allied Greek victory there over Persian army. The original story (Herodotus) is that he ran from Athens to Sparta to seek aid, which arrived too late to participate in the battle. Introduced as an athletic event in the 1896 revival of the Olympic Games, based on a later, less likely story, and quickly extended to mean “any very long event or activity.” The place name is literally“fennel-field.” Related: Marathoner (by 1912).
*/Squint… Clicky, it’s now early evening and I have a lot to cover yet. I’m sensitive that this shamble will grow too big…*
*No! And that doesn’t count toward reproduction either… /sniff… I’ll continue, shall I?*
Yesterday was 22nd July (22/7) and I posted a Theorem of sorts on MEROVEE–why bad stuff seems to happen in the real world as a result of our posting online there.
Shortly after, new poster CJ brought news of a shooting incident in Munich… the cause of much running from a man with roots in I Ran…
I discussed it with Legs, later…
*Aww, Clicky, you’ve got me… /eyes widen… No! I don’t mean in the reproductivesense… *
And then it occurred to me, I’d seen 137, π and an 8 somewhere else before… At Evergreen Terrace…
‘The first equation on the board is largely Schiminovich’s work, and it predicts the mass of the Higgs boson, M(H0), an elementary particle that that was first proposed in 1964. The equation is a playful combination of various fundamental parameters, namely the Planck constant, the gravitational constant, and the speed of light. If you look up these numbers and plug them into the equation,1 it predicts a mass of 775 giga-electron-volts (GeV), which is substantially higher than the 125 GeV estimate that emerged when the Higgs boson was discovered in 2012. Nevertheless, 775 GeV was not a bad guess, particularly bearing in mind that Homer is an amateur inventor and he performed this calculation fourteen years before the physicists at CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, tracked down the elusive particle.’
*Click, you have a one-track mind…*
*Ahh… Very clever, Clicky… /yawn and stretch… That’s enough for now, let’s have a Song…*
Dear Reader – Thoughtful Man is recuperating at home. He’d asked me knot to relay what he told Juju and eye at the hospital on Saturday evening…
*That’s right, Clicky, but that was before today…*
*******
“Someone’s died.”
Thinking and elbows deep in warm, sudsy water, I hadn’t heard Thoughtful Man come downstairs. Startled, I turn to see his gaunt frame hovering in the kitchen doorway.
“Darling, can’t you sleep? Are you okay?”
He held his hand up to the leaky dressing on his throat to stop his Darth Vader breathing. “Someone has died. An old fella.”
I dried my hands and gently gripped his shoulders, guiding him back through to the Library.”What are you talking about? Come and sit down. Who’s died?”
“I don’t who exactly,” Thoughtful Man looked at me solemnly as he eased himself into his chair. “Someone famous, an old man. I woke up feeling someone’s died.”
“Well, we better have a look, see.” I gave him a reassuring smile and sat behind my computer, moving a snoozing Poppy, curled up in my spot. “I’ll google news. Any other clues as to who it might be?”
“No, but I feel it very strongly. A famous old man has died.”
Several taps and a click later, I was startled for the second time. “No shit!” I looked at Thoughtful Man, open mouthed.”Ronnie Corbett has died.”
CLICKY: Status Who?
“I told you.” Thoughtful Man nodded as he sat back in his chair. “I felt it.”
*******
*Joker, famous for his ‘shaggy dog’ stories? Very droll, Clicky… /rolls eyes… *
CLICKY: Monologuing?
*Well, I am fond of a monologue, Click …/wink…But that UN story we read this morning… the one I was thinking about when Thoughtful Man woke up… quite disturbing…*
UN officials say they are investigating “extremely troubling” claims of sexual abuse by peacekeepers in the Central African Republic (CAR).
Last year, there were 69 allegations of child rape and other sexual offences by peacekeepers from 10 missions.
One advocacy group says it has passed on new reports to the UN that a soldier made four girls have sex with a dog.
The UN said it was looking into the “exact number and nature” of the claims.
*It says, ‘…the bestiality claims, dating back to 2014, involved a commander with French forces.’… Clicky, one in French is Un… and as for CAR…*
CLICKY: Other Chair man
*Yes, Clicky… just a very slight difference in height 😀 *
status (n.)1670s, “height” of a situation or condition, later “legal standing of a person” (1791), from Latin status “condition, position, state, manner, attitude” from past participle stem of stare “to stand,” from PIE *ste-tu-, from root *stā- “to stand” (see stet). Sense of “standing in one’s society or profession” is from 1820. Status symbol first recorded 1955; status-seeker from 1956. Status-anxiety is from 1959.
I started posting knot-eyes of a sync over at MEROVEE yesterday. Frank in the Red Universe is having A Quantum Leap of Faith…
CLICK: Dry Bones.
*Yes, Clicky, I stopped it there because you were about to add a Song…*
*/squint… ‘Then somebody hangs up when you answer the phone’. That’s a very personal sync, as you are well aware. Hey, hey, where you going? Clicky?!*
CLICKY: We’re out of milk.
*OK bye, then! I’ll just put this all together myself, SHALL I?! /rolls eyes… I hope I haven’t lost my train of thought… /cracks knuckles…*
*******
A Void posted the other day about mounting Superstitions and a dead Head in ariZOna:
Oh hello! Do I see mention of Brandon Lee? That would be Professor Crowe that Click spotted… “We’re out of milk”. My arse!
And Vann? That syncs with my other Doctor, Shiny Sheldon… NAVigator.
We’ve been to Arizona, Thoughtful Man and I. Back before boys were ever on the scene. We based ourselves in Phoenix at a hotel called The Buttes. Americans love a British accent unless you tell them that you staying in their butts. Then they look on you with disgust. We found that out upon arrival, passing through Immigration.
Enter Legs with news of a really disgusting death.
Yesterday brought news of another dead head. A baby one, a seed. This time in mOZcow:
Oktyabrskoye Pole metro station received its name from Khodynka Field, a nearby locality which was known as October Field during Soviet Rule. Khodynka takes it’s name from a river and was the site of the first Russian powered flight. It became a regular airfield, in use through the late 1980s. The Russian National Air & Space Museum is at Khodynka.
Most recently on MEROVEE, we’ve been syncing underground…
Ah Scotland, policy test bed for so many London-based governments, the geographical head of the United Kingdom. The Romans tried to decapitated it…
…the SNP nearly pulled it off in 2014. No doubt they’ll try again but in the meantime they are developing their own policies for export.
The BASE jumper died by Sy Phon Draw…
syn-
word-forming element meaning “together with, jointly; alike; at the same time,” also sometimes completive or intensive, from Greek syn (prep.) “with, together with, along with, in the company of,” from PIE *ksun-“with” (cognates: Russian so-“with, together,” from Old Russian su(n)-). Assimilated to -l-, reduced to sy- before -s- and -z-, and altered to sym- before -b-, -m- and -p-. Since 1970s also with a sense of “synthetic.”
-phone
word-forming element meaning “voice, sound,” also “speaker of,” from Greek phone“voice, sound,” from PIE root *bha- (2) “to speak, say, tell” (cognates: Latin for, fari“to speak,”fama“talk, report;” see fame (n.)).
Now where was I before Clicky threw a spanner into my works? /taps teeth…
fame (n.) early 13c., “character attributed to someone;” late 13c., “celebrity, renown,” from Old French fame“fame, reputation, renown, rumor” (12c.), from Latinfama“talk, rumor, report; reputation, public opinion; renown, good reputation,” but also “ill-fame, scandal, reproach,” from PIE root *bha- (2) “to speak, tell, say” (cognates: Sanskrit bhanati“speaks;” Latin fari“to say,”fabula“narrative, account, tale, story;” Armenian ban, bay“word, term;” Old Church Slavonic bajati“to talk, tell;” Old English boian“to boast,”ben“prayer, request;” Greek pheme“speech, voice, utterance, a speaking, talk,”phone“voice, sound,”phanai“to speak;” Old Irish bann“law”).
The goddess Famawas the personification of rumor in Roman mythology. The Latin derivative fabulare was the colloquial word for “speak, talk” since the time of Plautus, whence Spanish hablar.
I’ve always been afraid I was going to tap the world on the shoulder for 20 years, and when it finally turned around I was going to forget what I had to say. [Tom Waits, “Playboy” magazine interview, March, 1988]
There was plenty of rumour and speculation leading up this weekend’s Famefestathon, the OZcars… Not only who would win awards but what the host, Chris Rock, was going to say?
CLICKY: Back… I had to go to the Blue Universe…
*You took your time, Click. I’m just getting on to our OZcar win…*
I posted knot-eyes at ‘Quantum Leap of Faith’ in the Red Universe.
*Great movie, Clicky, we should watch it again. Let me make myself a coffee first… /returns with look of disgust… I thought you went off to get some milk…*
sad (adj.)Old English sæd“sated, full, having had one’s fill (of food, drink, fighting, etc.), weary of,” from Proto-Germanic *sathaz (cognates: Old Norse saðr, Middle Dutch sat, Dutch zad, Old High German sat, German satt, Gothic saþs“satiated, sated, full”), from PIE *seto- (cognates: Latin satis“enough, sufficient,” Greek hadros“thick, bulky,” Old Church Slavonic sytu, Lithuanian sotus“satiated,” Old Irish saith“satiety,”sathach“sated”), from root *sa-“to satisfy” (cognates: Sanskrit a-sinvan“insatiable”).
Sense development passed through the meaning “heavy, ponderous” (i.e. “full” mentally or physically), and “weary, tired of” before emerging c. 1300 as “unhappy.” An alternative course would be through the common Middle English sense of “steadfast, firmly established, fixed” (as in sad-ware“tough pewter vessels”) and “serious” to “grave.” In the main modern sense, it replaced Old English unrot, negative of rot “cheerful, glad.”
Meaning “very bad” is from 1690s. Slang sense of “inferior, pathetic” is from 1899; sad sack is 1920s, popularized by World War II armed forces (specifically by cartoon character invented by Sgt. George Baker, 1942, and published in U.S. Armed Forces magazine “Yank”), probably a euphemistic shortening of common military slang phrase sad sack of shit.
Going to watch the film again. Further comment will appear later, under the Song
*******
Update: 8th February 2016
So I watched the movie again today. Last week, after writing the above post, Thoughtful Man was watching an episode of ‘Comic Book Men‘ and Mike Zapcic, in conversation (as they do), said that he’d begged his father to take him to the cinema to see ‘The Sting’ because he had a thing for Charles Durning.
Charles Durning, of course, played Waring Hudsucker and that sync, I have to admit, is a bit of a weird on all kinds of levels. Plus, of course, Paul(i) Gnuman starred in both the ‘Hudsucker Proxy’ and ‘The Sting’ 😉
*Blue letter… Thank you for reminding me, Clicky*
Kit Kat wanted me watch a YouTube video this evening that made him larf…
*Oh for fuck’s sake, Clicky. This game of charadesof yours… /rolls eyes… It’s called ‘Give Us A Clue‘! Have a Song.*
AA: Well done, Jamie and Alex. What about that?! You’ve seen off ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here’. You’ve seen off ‘The Apprentice’ in the Head to Head. Er, and you saw off ‘Big Brother’. I mean fantastic and you’ve won our coveted Pointless trophy.
Clicky for Pointlessly Pointed
JAMIE: We feel honoured.
AA: Wa-well.
ALEX: Ecstatic.
AA: As… so you should. You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities, which is very exciting. At the end of today’s show the jackpot stands at two thousand five hundred. Interestingly untroubled…
Clicky for a look
AA: Well you’ve done very well indeed. What would like to finish this show off with? What, what is your dream topic?
JAMIE: I feel like I would like something… movies would be alright. Movies, I usually do alright… movies.
ALEX: I could go for history, something like that.
JAMIE: No! Why history?
ALEX: I did it…
JAMIE: It’s so big! It’s such a big topic… shorten it. ‘Made in Chelsea’ would be great actually… let’s go ‘Made in Chelsea’.
OZ: I’m sorry, too many pointless answers I’m afraid.
Clicky for quick draw
JAMIE: Oh we can edit that out…
AA: Ha ha ha ha… yeah.
Clicky for look
AA: Er, you get to choose your category for this final round from the 4 we put up on the board behind me. Let’s see what today’s selection looks like… We’ve got ‘Rappers’. We’ve got ‘The Year 2008’. We’ve got ‘Horror Film Directors’ and we’ve got ‘The X Factors’.
RxB: Ooh, I hope they don’t pick the X Factor, I would not have clue.
SEB: I’ll take a wild stab and say they’re not going to be going for rappers. 2008 maybe, that or the X Factor.
RxB: Not horror film directors? They’re both jolly ‘frightfully alright’…
SEB: Fucking Chelsea!
RxB: Spoken like true Fulham fan.
JAMIE: The year 2008… everything else seems so b… Can you do any X Factor winners?
ALEX: Yes but let’s go 2008.
JAMIE: We’ll go ‘The Year 2008’ please.
Clicky for the year 2008
RxB: Yay!
AA: There we are. Richard?
OZ: Good luck gents, 3 very different categories so take your answers from any of these, however you want to do it. We are looking for anybody who was nominated for a Best Actor or Best Actress Oscar in 2008. Or Best Supporting Actress, Best Supporting Actor…
SEB: What was out in 2008? The King’s Speech?
RxB: No, that was later… Erm, I don’t know, I can’t remember.
OZ: We’re looking for any act that had one of the 50 best selling albums in 2008…
RxB: Bollocks! No idea.
OZ: Or we’re looking for any country which won a gold at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, apart from GB.
RxB: Right, um… North Korea… Er, one of the ones that used to be Russia…
SEB: Ukraine?
RxB: Probably… should go for a South American country… Argentina. Didn’t they win the football?
SEB: Dunno.
OZ: So, any actor or actress Oscar nominees. Any acts who had one of the 50 best selling albums. Or any gold medal winning countries at the 2008 Olympics. Very best of luck guys. I hope they’re, er, good categories in there for you.
Click for deja vu with 2008
AA: Thank you very much indeed. Okay, now as always you have up to 1 minute to come up with 3 answers and all you need to win that jackpot for your charities is for just 1 of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?
JAMIE: No.
ALEX: Not at all, this is hard.
JAMIE: This is really hard!
AA: Okay. Let’s put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are. Your time starts… now.
ALEX: Okay. So what’s a good gold winning..?
JAMIE: ‘K ‘k, you think of that, think of that one. I’ll think… Okay so, so, okay Oscars… What was that like in 2008? Was it, er was it Schinder’s List, something like that?
ALEX: No, that’s a lot older than that.
RxB: Oh for fuck’s sake! Schinder’s List? That was last century!
SEB: I’m gonna let the dog out – they’re getting on my nerves.
RxB: Okay.
JAMIE: I don’t think it is much older than that…
ALEX: Yeah. Yeah.
JAMIE: … 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15… 7 years ago. That’s like Schinder’s List…
Clicky for knot Nilson
ALEX: 2008… Is that when they brought out the first Batman?
JAMIE: Batman? That didn’t win an Oscar!
RxB: Yeah it did. Heath Ledger… no, that would have been at the Oscars in 2009…
JAMIE: The, um… so who actually had best selling albums in 2008… who was big in 2008? Seven years ago, who were we listening to? Um…
ALEX: Ad, Adele, I think might of have had a…
JAMIE: Adele!
ALEX: Er, Amy Winehouse?
JAMIE: The computer Adele. Erm…
ALEX: That’s a Dell. Um, so I reckon Amy Winehouse or, or…
JAMIE: Okay, Amy Winehouse. Medals would be, what, really random countries.
ALEX: Like shooting. Who’s really good at shooting? Like…
RxB: South Korea, Thailand..?
AA: 10 seconds left.
JAMIE: Finland. Amy Winehouse, Finland and… let’s go for, um, an actor would be okay… stop the…
ALEX: Daniel Day-Lewis for the actor. I don’t know why.
AA: Okay, that is your time up. I now need your 3 answers. What are you going to give?
RxB: North Korea, Ukraine and Argentina. (shouts) I’M GOING ARGENTINA, NORTH KOREA… ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
JAMIE: Okay, for one of them, because he’s won loads…
ALEX: Daniel Day-Lewis.
AA: Daniel Day-Lewis as the actor… an actor.
JAMIE: Yes. Acts will be a best selling… No, then we’re going gold medal, we’ll just pick two, gold medal… come on.
ALEX: Switzerland.
JAMIE: Okay, Switzerland.
AA: Switzerland.
RxB: Nah. Roger Fedora…
JAMIE: And we’ll go for someone like, er, care, er, Kenya?
RxB: No chance! Too well known for long distance running.
AA: Kenya. Okay. Switzerland and Kenya as our gold medal winners. Of those 3 which is your best shot at a pointless answer?
ALEX: I think Kenya.
AA: Okay, Kenya. Shall we put Kenya last?
JAMIE: Yeah, let’s put Kenya last.
AA: Least likely to be pointless?
JAMIE: Daniel Day…
ALEX: Lewis.
AA: Daniel Day-Lewis, we’ll put him first. Let’s pop those up on the board in that order then. And here they are. We’ve got Daniel Day-Lewis, Switzerland, Kenya. Well, 3 good answers, I’d say, on the board there.
JAMIE: You think?
AA: I think so. The question is will any of them be pointless.
RxB: Okay? Did she have a wee?
SEB: Yeah. Well they aren’t going to be pointless.
RxB: Yeah, well we’ve gone for Argentina, North Korea and Ukraine.
AA: If any of them is pointless, you will win that jackpot for your charities. Wa, wa, what charities are you playing for. Jamie?
JAMIE: My charity is ‘Rays of Sunshine‘, which is, er, a charity that brings bright light into really poorly kids, aged from 3 to 18.
AA: Very good. Fingers crossed. As I say, 3 good answers there. Let’s hope 1 of them is pointless and you can take that jackpot home for those charities. Well your first answer is Daniel Day-Lewis and, in this case, we were looking for 2008 Oscar nominees. Remember, it has to be pointless for you to win. Let’s find out how many of our 100 people said ‘Daniel Day-Lewis’.
Click for view from one’s door
AA: One!
ALEX: I don’t believe it!
JAMIE: Nooo!
RxB: That was close!
AA: One person got Daniel Day-Lewis.
ALEX: I want to find that person.
JAMIE: Who was it?
ALEX: Was it Daniel Day-Lewis?
JAMIE: It was Daniel Day-Lewis himself.
AA: Ah, bad luck. Not a pointless answer which means you only have 2 more shots at today’s jackpot.
JAMIE: That is so unfair!
AA: Your next answer was Switzerland and in this case, we were looking for medal winners at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Again, it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot of two thousand, five hundred pounds. How many people said Switzerland? Is it pointless? It’s right.
JAMIE: It’s right again?! Unbelievable!
AA: Daniel Day-Lewis took us all the way down to 1. This is Switzerland now taking us down…
JAMIE: Come on!
AA: …through the twenties…
JAMIE: Come on!
AA: …and the teens, will it be..?
JAMIE: COME ON!
AA: …It’s still going down, going down…
JAMIE: GO ON! Yeah…
AA: It’s one!
JAMIE & ALEX: Ooh!!!
ALEX: I don’t believe it!
Click for view of one’s front door
RxB: Switzerland only got one? Ours are looking good then.
JAMIE: Oh no, Daniel Day-Lewis again! Is he in Switzerland?
AA: Incredibly close so far. Everything is now riding on your third and final answer, which is Kenya.
JAMIE: This isn’t fair. Can we do it again? Who would have said Switzerland?!
OZ: Well you did.
JAMIE: I know but that was so random and pointless…
AA: Kenya is your third and final answer. This has to be pointless. Come on, to win the jackpot of two thousand five hundred, how many people said Kenya? Is it pointless? It’s right!
JAMIE: Come on!
SEB: It won’t be pointless.
RxB: Yeah, I know. Known for it, they are, known for it…
AA: Well, Daniel Day-Lewis was right, that took us down to 1. Switzerland was right. That took us all the way down to 1, as well. Kenya has to be pointless…
SEB: Winning gold for long distance running?
RxB: Yeah…
JAMIE & ALEX: Come on! Oh!
AA: Bad luck!
Clicky for a breaking sync…
SEB: Told you it wouldn’t be pointless.
ALEX: I can’t believe it.
AA: Listen. Okay, you didn’t win the jackpot but 3 excellent answers there considering how you felt when you started that minute. You managed to get 3 brilliant answers that took us right down to the bottom of the column. Er, I’m so sorry. That means you don’t win today’s jackpot of two thousand five hundred pounds. I’m sorry, however, as it is a celebrity special and everyone is playing for a charity, we’ll donate five hundred pounds to each celebrity pair for their respective charities. So you get that and you’ve been brilliant right the way across the show. You can hold your heads up high and you get a Pointless trophy each to take away as well. So there you are… it’s all good.
JAMIE: I don’t believe that.
OZ: Um, the gold medal winning countries was the place to get the pointless answers from because 53 countries won, er, won a gold medals at those Olympics and 30 of them are pointless. And one of the countries that was pointless was Finland.
RxB: Lordi! Not Finland again..?
ALEX: We said that!
SEB: What did we say again?
JAMIE: Oh we said Finland…
ALEX: Why didn’t we do it?
RxB: I told you – Argentina, North Korea and Ukraine. You chose Ukraine.
SEB: Well, that’s definitely going to be pointless.
RxB: We’ll see. That’s a pretty low score for Kenya, 4.
OZ: And I was just waiting for you to read it out and you didn’t do it.
JAMIE: Ooh!
OZ: Let’s take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories. There will be ones you know in all of these, I’m afraid. Um, we’ll start with, er, actors and actresses. Julie Christie, Marion Cotillard, Tom Wilkinson, Tommy Lee Jones. You could have had Philip Seymour-Hoffman. You could have had Hal Holbrook, Amy Ryan. You could have had Ellen Page… lots of pointless answers there.
SEB: Did we say any of those?
RxB: No.
OZ: Let’s move on to the best selling albums. Elbow would have been a pointless answer, also Guns n’ Roses. You could have had Leona Lewis… N-Dubz, unbelievably was a pointless answer. Celine Dion, Chris Brown, Enrique Iglesias, Il Divo, Mark Ronson, Will Young. All of those were pointless. Well done if you said any of those.
RxB: Nope. Gold winning countries, come on…
OZ: And the gold medal winning countries… as I said, there’s 30 odd countries here…
OZ: Argentina is pointless. Mongolia, New Zealand, Poland. You could have had Azerbaijan, Czech Republic, Denmark, North Korea…
RxB: Double pointless!
OZ: …Norway, Thailand, Tunisa, Turkey, Ukraine…
RxB: Fucking hell! Triple pointless!
SEB: They’d never let you on this show – your language is disgusting. Well done, babes.
OZ: …Uzbekistan and our good friends in the Netherlands, all of those were pointless answers. Gents, it’s been an absolutely pleasure having you on the show and I’m so sorry. 1, 1 and 4 is terrific work in that final round.
RxB: Triple pointless… I shall bask awhile and then do the ironing.
SEB: Yeah, get on with it, bitch.
RxB: Oi! Triple pointless bitch, thank you.
AA: Thanks very much. Well unfortunately we have to say goodbye, Jamie and Alex, but just to add to what Richard said, it’s been brilliant having you on the show. A great performance and, er, thank you so much for playing. Jamie and Alex! Brilliant! Join us next time when we’ll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless. Meanwhile its goodbye from Richard.
OZ: Goodbye.
AA: And it’s goodbye from me. Goodbye.
Clicky for a Song
*******
Any questions, please put them in comments. I have got a stinking cold and am going to bed but either I or Clicky will be about to reply to any tomorrow.
AA: Okay, here’s comes your third question. Now Jamie and Alex, you get to answer it first but Solomon and Ruth, once again you have to win it to stay in the game. So, best of luck. It concerns…
OZ: We’re gonna show you the names of 5 zoo animals now but, er… I wish we hadn’t done this now… we’ve put them in anagram form. Can you unscramble them and give us the most obscure answer please…
Clicky for… *Er, Clicky, that looks shit…*
OZ: …and when I say ‘please’, I mean poleeze…
RxB: You got the controller? It’s anagrams, pause it.
SEB: Way ahead of you.
AA: Thanks, Richard. So let’s reveal our 5 anagrams and here they come…
RxB: What do you reckon we should go with, alligator or antelope?
SEB: Which one’s alligator?
RxB: Alligator it is.
AA: We’ve got ‘On Rich Rose’, ‘A Trial Log’, ‘Impeach Zen’, ‘Ark Meet’, ‘Lean Poet. I shall read those again, ‘On Rich Rose’, ‘A Trial Log’, ‘Impeach Zen’, ‘Ark Meet’, ‘Lean Poet. So, Jamie and Alex, you go first.
*Clicky, I cunt use that… or can I?*
JAMIE: My spelling is so bad…
ALEX: (whispers) Alligator is the second one.
JAMIE: You’re sure it is?
ALEX: I think so, yeah…
JAMIE: I don’t know how to spell!
ALEX: Should we go with the second one?
JAMIE: Is that how you spell it though?
ALEX: I think so.
JAMIE: You’re how sure?
ALEX: Er, 90%.
JAMIE: Okay for 90% I’ll take… if you’re wrong, I’ll be furious. Um, number 2 we think is alligator.
RxB: They’ve gone for our one. Come on Ruth, antelope. It’s the only one that might beat it.
SEB: Have a shot and pass me that packet of fags.
AA: Okay. Jamie and Alex are saying ‘Alligator’ for ‘A Trial Log’. Now then, er, Solomon and Ruth. The board is all yours, talk us through it.
RUTH: Okay, the second one up is meerkat.
SOLOMON: Ah yeah… I kinda think ‘ark meet’ is a real animal anyway.
Clicky for red paws
RxB: Fuck! They’re gonna go for meerkat. Bollocks!
RUTH: Yeah, let’s… shall we go *claps* we’ll go for meerkat.
AA: Okay, you’re gonna go for ‘meerkat’. So we’ve got ‘alligator’, we’ve got ‘meerkat’. Jamie and Alex said ‘alligator’, let’s see if that’s right, let’s see how many people said ‘alligator’.
Clicky for confused
AA: 16!
JAMIE: That’s not us… oh it is us… Come On!
Clicky for sumthing
ALEX: I wondered why you weren’t celebrating.
AA: Okay, Solomon and Ruth have gone for ‘meerkat’ for ‘ark meet’. Let’s see if that’s right and if it is, how many people said that. It’s right. Oi! Look at that 83!
RxB: Fuck me, that’s high!
SEB: Ooh. Did she win the apprentice?
RxB: Na. She got beat in the final to someone who outsourced telecoms to India.
AA: Very well done. After 3 questions we’ve finally got there. Jamie and Alex, you go through to the final 2 nil.
OZ: Er, yes, it’s the best answer on the board as well, gents. Very well played.
Clicky by the numbers
OZ: Um, the top one is ‘rhinoceros’, would have scored you 26. The middle one, chimpanzee, would have scored you 38. And at the bottom…
AA: Antelope.
OZ: ‘Antelope’ and that would have scored you 19. So, yeah, ‘alligator’, best answer up there.
RxB: I knew it! Now I can play for the Jackpot Round.
SEB: You can anyway.
RxB: Yeah, I know but… it doesn’t matter. Shot?
SEB: Yeah. Go and get a fresh can of Bull from the fridge, this one’s dead.
AA: There we are. So, the pair laving us at the end of the Head 2 Head round… and I’m sorry, Solomon and Ruth, it is you. You made it this far. Listen, it been such an experience having you on the show. Er, please come back and do it again.
RUTH: Yeah… never, never.
AA: Thanks very much for playing. Solomon and Ruth!
RUTH: Thank you.
Click for Solomon wave
AA: But for Jamie and Alex it’s time for our Pointless Final.
*******
Yikes! Only the Jackpot Round left, when all will be revealed… Have a Song 😉
Library of Libraries 