‘An apprentice butcher who is taught all aspects of the noble art has as much skill as a surgeon.’

The Sun (2015)

*No, you’re an inter-dimensional, alien dolphin assistant, Clicky… /rolls eyes… Now assist me by getting a Song to start this shambles with. If you please…*

*Ooh, good choice. Thanks…*

Hello, Dear Reader, and welcome to Day 34 of lockdown at the LoL. Actually that’s not true – we’ve been open the whole time to visitors. This is a smoking area (see signage displayed to your left), and if there’s one thing to emerge from this time of pandemic, it’s that the Coronavirus appears to find smokers somewhat inhospitable…

*Take a looky… /lights up… Masked… /drags smoke into lungs… Full PPE..*

On Thursday evening, presumably after the ritual applause for the national religion…

*I know, the double standards on display are quite ridiculous…*

… there was a rare injection of humour on the telly…

*Catherine Tate is fab, Clicky… /grins… “Doin’ my Tik Toks”…*

… that got me thinking of another screen to screen conversation…

*Ha! …/flicks ash… Nightingale does shorthand… /blows smoke… Shorthanded…*

*Ooh, that is an icy blast…*

*/final drag… Don’t blink indeed, Clicky… /stubs butt… If you’re feeling Kubricky, Clicky, then ‘bleach’ is a ‘Shining’ word… /plumes smoke… Where are we with this shambles?*

*It was so sad how Donna Noble and the Doctor parted company…*

*Of course, their relationship was strictly platonic, Clicky…*

*Animated statues…*

*Little angels…*

*You know that they are still trying to exterminate smoking, Clicky… /lights up and smokes… You couldn’t make it up…*

Time to end this shambles, Dear Reader. Have a smoke and a Song…