‘Secret Santa’: 11 Sleeps to Go

Erm… as it turns out, I’m now going to be quite busy tomorrow. So, Dear Reader, here is the second installment of ‘Secret Santa‘ today. Enjoy!


Unexpectedly, Josie called me the next day. She said she wanted a ‘quiet word’, and all I could do was imagine her hot breath in my ear. We agreed to rendezvous in the empty conference room, so I took the opportunity to visit the bathroom en route. Just to freshen up, adjust my underwear, that sort of thing.

She was already there when I arrived, sitting at the head of the table. Her long legs were crossed and her business skirt had ridden up to expose smooth, tanned thigh. She must use an all over sunbed because her tight-fitting, white blouse contrasted nicely with the colour of her caramel cleavage, making the most of her small but perky tits.

“Thank you for coming to speak with me, Harry. I realise you’re very busy.” She waited until I’d closed the door and sat down before continuing. “I need to speak to you about Shazza.”

“Sharon on reception?” I asked with an innocent face.

“Yes. I’m afraid she’s made a complaint against you. Apparently you were very rude to her yesterday.” Josie’s tone and steady gaze was meant to impart the seriousness of the situation. It just made me want to cover her plump lips with my own even more.

“Josie…I don’t know what to say. I’m…Is this about Secret Santa? I know I was a bit short with Shazza, but I was extremely busy at the time finalising our bid for the Clovis account. So this…is this an official complaint?” I enquired, feigning immense concern. Little Shazza’s had the nerve to make a complaint? That’ll be the day.

Josie looked flustered at my reply. A splash of humility can work wonders when you have as prickly a reputation as mine. “Er, no. Not an official complaint per se, but she mentioned the incident to me in private conversation. I thought I should have a word. I could see she was very upset.”

Not an official complaint, then? Interesting. “Let me assure you, Josie, that I’ll apologise to Shazza at the earliest possible opportunity.” I reached over and covered her delicate but beautifully tanned hand with my own and let it rest there.

“Look, I realise I can come off as a bit abrupt but I have a very stressful job. I’ll try to be a little more conciliatory in the future.”

She looked relieved. “Thank you, Harry. I realise Mr Kontrell can be a very demanding boss…”

I didn’t let her finish. “Josie, you’ve only been with F A Kontrell for, what, a couple of months now? We’re an expanding business, so one should expect there to be a little pain.” Time for a little self deprecation. “That would be me,” I said with a cutesy finger wave.

Her giggle was delightful. So was the way she used her free hand to push a lock of shiny, black hair that had fallen across her face, back over her ear. Her other hand was still trapped beneath my own and she seemed in no particular hurry to retrieve it. I pulled my hand away and sat back in my chair.

“So, how are you finding it here? Are you glad you joined us?” I asked with a rare smile.

Josie smiled back. “Yes. Everybody is very nice and, like you say, it is very busy.”

“Yes,” I replied as I sat back and crossed my legs. “It’ll soon be the 23rd and then we can enjoy Christmas.”

Josie recrossed her own legs, flashing some deliciously tanned inside thigh. An idea came to me.

“Actually, I’m not really fond of the Secret Santa tradition. I never know what to get the person,” I sighed.

“Oh, well who have you got to buy for?” she asked.

I gave her a look of bemused befuddlement. “I can’t tell you that, it’s a secret.”

She frowned and thought for a moment, pulling her shoulders back just enough for me to see a hint of lacy bra, as the buttons on her blouse gaped.

“Without some idea of who it’s for… gift vouchers?” She offered apologetically.

I grimaced. “Oh god no, I get those every year.”

“You poor thing, that’s so boring.” Josie’s hand, the one I’d been touching, moved toward me.

“Maybe you can help me,” I mused, shifting my weight forward. I lent my elbows on the table and leaned in conspiritorially toward her. “You may have noticed the office here is predominantly female. Now I won’t confirm it’s a woman I have to buy a gift for but it’s a strong possibility. I’d like to get something more…personal,” I confided in a hushed tone.

“Aw, that’s really sweet,” she replied, leaning in closer and cocking her head to one side. “How about perfume? That’s personal and functional.”

“Perfume?” I appeared to weigh up the idea. “I don’t know, I like that idea but I wouldn’t know one perfume from another without asking first, and that would give the game away. I think I’d like to get this person something fun.”

“Chocolates,” she offered emphatically.

“Er, chocolates are fun?”

“You can never have too much fun with chocolate,” Josie replied with a wink.

Saucy minx! “Well, you’re lucky in that you have a lovely physique, Josie. Not everyone is as blessed as you,” I countered.

She blushed. Dear sweet Josie, I could have eaten her up right there and then.

“Okay then,” she continued, “it has to be personal, functional and definitely fun… although not chocolates or perfume.”

“How exactly are chocolates functional?” I asked with a quizzical lift of my eyebrows.

“Er, to have fun.”

“Right, I will remember that,” I replied with a low chuckle. “Personal, functional, fun…chocolate is optional. You’ve been a great help, Josie. Thank you.”

She stood up and I allowed my eyes to wander over her body for a moment, admiring the way her hipbones thrust forward and accentuated the tautness of her flat tummy. She could have been a model. She should have been a model. It’s not often an angel crosses your path.

“And you’ll apologise to Shazza?”

Would I fuck! “Of course. Consider it done.”

We left the room together. I held the door open with one hand, cradling the small of her back with the other as I ushered her out before me. She was a honey all right and I knew exactly what Secret Santa would be giving her this Christmas…


Part three will be along at the start of next week, Dear Reader. Until then, have a Song…

*Ha! Good choice, Clicky… /thinks… this would be an ideal opportunity to remind Dear Reader they can get a copy of The Underdog Anthology immediately on Kindle…*

*Oh you… /blushes…*


23 thoughts on “‘Secret Santa’: 11 Sleeps to Go

  1. Let me guess ……. you’re hoping Thoughtful Man will read this tale, and take the hint at what you actually want for Xmas. 😃

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Gonna be on Sally Jesse Raphael anytime soon? We can bring produce to the taping and pelt you with it, then pick it all up and have lunch. That would actually be kinda cool yeah? The authors of all of the stories out doing book signings and panels/Q&A together? I dunno, sounds cool to me. I’m weird.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Yes…I’m allergic to wheat…whole or otherwise…irrespective of creams and or lotions. As a matter of fact, it (wheat) is one of the things that I am most allergic to. My allergist (yes, the one who proclaimed…”dude, you are allergic to Earth”) was amazed at my results and commented to the effect of “how are you alive?” And I also recall that the details were and/or started with “what do you eat?”…to which I responded…”I tend to pay for everything I eat more than once.” But if ya wanna get “deep” with that thought…
            Q: How are any of us alive?
            A: We just are.

            Yeah, it’s rough when you start thinking about it. And maybe that’s where a desire to kill or hit or maim comes from. A desire to understand how we are alive, via proxy, by taking life/a life. That said, it’s not something that interests me. You don’t figure out how to live through death or via death. You figure out how to live via life. Death is only a part of that. And incidentally, the part that…to me anyway…stops you from going too far maybe? I just don’t see death as some entity tugging at your elbow or hanging over your shoulder going…”I’M GONNA GET YA MOTHERFUCKER!!!” lol If anything, I would see death as quite the opposite. As someone who revels in life. God is, afterall, or at least, seems to be, a paradoxical kind of entity themselves. I don’t know why this is, or would be viewed as a bad thing. Why would you, as God or a god…NOT be indecisive about giving one of your creations a smack on the butt and sending them on their way? Sounds kinda…familiar eh? 🙂


            That’s how I view my children, my parents, those I interact with, etc., and even myself. We do afterall make our own choices here and there. I dunno, I guess I’m at ease with indecisiveness on a level that even I’m not comfortable with. All kinds of things here there and everywhere to find what we need to settle our goofy asses down, even when there is nothing there. Teaches us to learn the hows and whens of the whys and whats as far as I can see. I just know that I am floored by people and life and everything here there and everywhere at their creative abilities, both good and bad and bad and good and good and/or bad. It’s applicable to you, or it isn’t.

            Listen to me go. /me rolls eyes…I need a pulpit. Maybe even a collar. (HOLD ME BACK…RAWR!)

            I’ll work on that “self-restraint” business.

            Liked by 1 person

              1. No. :/ I’m not currently where I can recieve e-mails. Sry. I’ll get it eventually. Dunno when I’m going back to “that other side of town”, but I’ll respond when I do.

                Liked by 1 person

  2. It was 35°F/2°C when I got up this morning @ 04:45.
    It is currently 71°F/22°C as of right now @ 14:47.
    Tomorrow, it is supposed to be 74°/23°, then drop to 17°/-8° by tomorrow night.

    Not that temperature swings like this are uncommon round’ these hare parts, but a 60° drop in temperature over the course of an afternoon is a pretty cool thing to get to experience. However, the inside of my nose feels like the Sahara Desert during the middle of a Heat Mizer/Cold Mizer battle over territory/meteorological grazing rights and temperature gradients.

    I just thought that you should know these things. They may be important. But I seriously doubt it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have spent today pigging out on a selection of homemade Danish biscuits, that were delivered this morning with copies of The Underdog Anthology, one of which will winging it’s way to you. I will address it to:

      CF Apollyon
      Okie Devil with nasal desert
      Probably wearing shorts
      Somewhere in Texas

      I’m sure it’ll get to you; however, I can tell you now that there won’t be any biscuits… */places fingers to lips to cover ladylike burp…*

      *I told you, Clicky, the biscuits aren’t for you… Have a fish…*


      1. >>>>How is the swinging temperature affecting your asthma?
        Not as bad as it used to. It affects my sinuses more than my lungs, but I have to be careful with that as well. Meaning, knowing what triggers what. Being outdoors is actually better than being indoors this time of year. As long as I keep my face covered, which most asthmatics will tell you is a good idea. Unfortunately, Homeland Security and all sorts of governmental AND commercial entities, will tell you that covering your face is a BAD idea. Yeah…kill em all, let God sort em’ out. /me shrugs, rolls eyes.

        The interesting part, is when you cover your face outdoors, it’s a good idea to keep you face covered indoors as well if you will be going back out into the cold. It keeps the temperature of the air a little more balanced, and also keeps the humidity level a little more stable, since electrical heating is a BITCH on humidity/moisture content.

        >>>>CF Apollyon
        >>>>Okie Devil with nasal desert
        >>>>Probably wearing shorts
        >>>>Somewhere in Texas
        Close enough. 😉
        It’s the thought that counts anyway. ❤

        I'll get a copy one of these days. That would be cool as shit to steal a copy if I ever saw one at a brick and mortar bookstore, then get you and the rest of the chuckleheads to sign it, auction on eBay, ya'll split the profits, save for the retail price, which I return to the original bookseller. All is well. 😛
        I'm hardcore like that.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Surely you get special dispensation to cover your face because of…*/thinks…* What was it you said on Sync Miss For Him? */wracks brains…* Oh yes, because of your ugly face!

          */squints… I don’t get it, Clicky… Go away I’m talking to Cade…*

          Personally I don’t think you look that bad, but if you are as ugly as you say, maybe you could use to your advantage? */looks on earnestly…*


          1. I guess it’s not so much as “ugly” as it is “scary.” I’ve just been told my entire life that I am very scary looking. I think it’s the eyes more than the face. But then someone get’s to know me, and they realize that the face is kindof a reflection of the temperament. Which tends to piss people off, whether I am being stoic or bubbly. I’m an angry fellow. I find relief via all channels except anger if I can. My fury saves me from my anger. Ironic eh?

            Liked by 1 person

              1. I dunno. Prolly the last thing on Earth/Terra that I would ever have imagined anyone ever asking me, would be “I’d like to hire your scary face.” I’ve been told that it’s too scary/too real to be used for film or theatre. I seem to recall one telling me that even the worst of “bad-guy(s)” must have some likeable feature(s) in order to be believable and non-believable…I guess that “suspension of disbelief” business in a duality on both counts. I can’t remember if I read this, or someone told me this, “the audience must simultaneously root for the “bad-guy” to be the bad-guy and to not be the bad-guy, and same for the “good-guy” who must be the good-guy, but bad enough to defeat the bad-guy.”

                I’ve been told that I am neither. “Too-conflicted” to join a side, and too honorable to be the turncoat or snitch, and too disinterested to take advantage of the warring parties in their weakened states to start a third faction to take over the entirety/take advantage of the situation, but would walk the battlefield and tend to anyone irrespective of faction. I hate religion and organization too much to be clergy, and I love too much to be religious.

                So yeah, I would be the one that everyone and all hates the most…the one that scares everyone the most…the one who refuses to join a side, but helps where help is needed. All subject to change at any time. The wildcard I guess.

                I’m on my favorite team…mine. Just like everybody else.

                I’ve been down the acting road before, and the above is what I’ve been told. Oh…and…
                “If you think he’s scary looking…wait till he starts talking…if he starts talking.”…is how one of my friends once described me to someone else.


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