State of Play

Koffing

Oh fuck! The quintessential game of the Snowflake generation is back

*No, Clicky, they’re whiners, not winos… /shakes head… let me tell the story*

*******

 

Almighty whoops and Poppy’s incessant barking drew me from kitchen sink daydreams to the Library. Thoughtful Man lay slumped in his chair, head bowed, gasping for breath.

“OH MY GOD! Are you okay?!” I cried, rushing toward him. He’d been serious ill earlier this year; I hoped it wasn’t a relapse. I placed my arm about his shoulders – they were shaking. Poppy stood on her tiny back legs and urgently pawed at his knees.

“Ah…” Thoughtful man lifted his head. His face was contorted and his eyes runneth over. “Ah… HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Relieved that he was only laughing and not suffocating, I waited for him to calm down before inquiring after the source of his mirth. “What’s so funny?”

“Pokémon.” He dabbed at his eyelashes, pregnant with glistening tears, with the bottom of my tee-shirt. I was just grateful he didn’t need to blow his nose. “It’s this new game every bugger’s playing, Pokémon Go…”

I was aware of the recent phenomenon. “Yeah, a bunch of idiots running around trying to catch digital monsters on their mobile phones. Sounds like a lot of accidents waiting to happen.”

“Yes, well read this.” He moved aside so that I could read his computer screen.

Pokémon Go, the augmented reality game released nearly a week ago, has led people to all sorts of places to catch Pokémon and to battle other players. One of those places happened to be the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C.

“A Holocaust museum? That’s very bad taste,” I started to opine until Thoughtful Man encouraged me to read on.

According to The Washington Post, the museum appears to be a popular spot for players who flock there to play Pokémon Go. Recently, an image was uploaded showing the Pokémon Koffing that was allegedly found in the Helena Rubinstein Auditorium of the museum.

“A pokémon called Koffing? Koffing? At a Holocaust museum? Oh, that’s terrible…” I looked at Thoughtful Man with a look of utmost shock, betrayed only by the twitching of my lips.

He cleared his throat. “Yes. Guess what Koffing’s special ability is?”

“Nooooo…” I whispered incredulously and snapped back round to the screen.

The auditorium plays the testimonials of Jews who survived the gas chambers during the Holocaust. It’s pretty obvious as to how a Koffing, known for its poisonous gas attacks, can be offensive.

“Oh dear god!” I crossed my legs to stop any leakage of my own and howled like a dog.

*******

*Oh shush, Clicky. Have a Song*

6 thoughts on “State of Play

    1. Ringside fish, Hugo …/cackles

      ‘The $17 poke at Vitaly Paley’s Imperial (410 S.W. Broadway) poke isn’t the most expensive in town — that would be the $20 version on the appetizer menu at Ringside Fish House — and it certainly isn’t the most traditional, but it is damn good. Big, jewel-like chunks of ponzu-dressed tuna gleam amidst hazelnuts, crunchy bits of local dulse seaweed, slivers of surprisingly punchy serrano chile and cilantro leaves. It’s a party of contrasting textures and temperatures and it pairs nicely with a Left of Center, the house take on a vodka martini.

      — Ben Waterhouse’

      *Oh good choice of Song, Clicky! Thank you!*

      Like

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