Yesterday, Dear Reader, I was reminded that, aside from his many allergies, The Okie Devil is iridophobic…
I don’t know why rainbows have always frightened me…but they have and they do, and I guess they always will.
Think: Focus and focusing.
So when a new missive arrived from TextAss this morning, accompanied with a Song…
I couldn’t resist…
*Exactly! …/looks down… Flippers crossed, Clicky… /chews lip nervously…*
!!CATTLE CALL YA’LL!!
!!!YEE FUCKING HAW!!!
^Eddy Arnold- Cattle Call^
Do you ever sing? Did you ever sing? Yeah…you sucked at it obviously, but that doesn’t matter. I just wanted to know if you ever sing or have ever sang in your life.
Q: Was it fun?
A: I mean…it prolly wasn’t fun for others…
what about you? Was it fun?
Singing can be fun. When you suck at it, it can be fun and funny. When you are terrible at it, it can be fucking hilarious. But that’s kinda the point. Having fun. Especially if you can laugh at yourself. I personally sing like a girl. I just have one of those…girly voices. Yes, I can adjust it. But it rarely feels right unless I can really belt it. In which case, it gets REALLY fucking loud. There just aren’t many places where you can really let loose, cept maybe in your car with the radio turned up. But, in that case/those cases…you are sitting down. Sucks to sing sitting down. Especially in a moving vehicle where the next song might be a goddamn hymn cause you crashed and died and didn’t realize it. Sorry.
^She sat neath the lilacs – never tell lies^
CATCH YA ON THE FLIP SIDE!!!
Q: Who have you “caught” today?
Q: Who have you “pushed” today?
Q: Who is gonna catch em?
Q: Who is gonna catch you?
Q: When and where?
That what I thought I was gonna think about that.
This “mind-readin” bullshit is actually pretty easy.
I guess I’m still having trouble dealing with this “patriotism” concept. I was born where I was, when I was…because I was. I’ve toyed with the notion of immigrating elsewhere many times. Not because I hate this place…well, I do, but that’s because I’ve seen it. I wanted to see other places, meet other people. Go to places where you can be ignored more easily. Yes…Americans tend to stand out like sore thumbs when traveling abroad. And “Texans” tend to really fucking stand out when they speak because of the accent. That said, that’s kinda what allows you to be ignored so much.
"Oh shit. Another stupid-assed American tourist."
I got to where I just smirked when I saw “that look” that locals tend to give to tourists. My “smirk” tended to have the effect of being a “wink” of sorts, as if to say…”Yeah…American Tourist. You caught me. I know you know, and now you know that I know you know, which means we know what each other knows”…and most of the time they would smile back. Many would even stop me just to say “hi” or talk for a bit. Foreigners LOVE to practice their English on Americans. I also loved to try and speak what little of their language, and foreigners ALSO love when you do that, because they will correct the living shit out of you and your fumblings. However, I never was big on correcting them. I would typically just say “pardon?” or “I didn’t hear that” and try to get them to repeat whatever they said. But in a lengthy conversation, should one develop, I had to try and make clear to them that I was hard of hearing, which many took as me trying to get out of the conversation…which was not the case at all. And no matter how sincerely tried to explain to them that I had honest to God hearing problems, they didn’t want to hear it. I found out later that many tourists actually use “I have hearing problems” to get out of difficult conversations with foreigners.
Q: What in the FUCK are people like me, who can hear, but hear with difficulty, supposed to do?
A: The best you can.
^Animals – Don’t let me be Misunderstood^
When I first expressed an interest in traveling and possibly living abroad…my father told me…
Cade’s Dad: “Whatever you do…do not EVER…give up your American citizenship.”
Cade: <gulp> Um…why not?
Cade’s Dad: It’s the only thing you have going for you in this world.
Cade: <le yikes>
Welp…there goes that idea. What the FUCK?!?!?!? Why is it, that everyone is always so goddamn keen on telling me what NOT to do? Especially when it has the effect of destroying every fucking thing in a particular plan of mine.
Cade: Will you help me plan something?
Cade’s Dad: No. Do it yourself.
Cade: You destroy it from there?
Cade’s Dad: All too easy.
I don’t really think of my father as Darth Vader. (loz..no pun intended) My father was more like The Emperor…except worse, and infinitely more devious. There’s only one way…the hard way…period. Not that he didn’t have his tender moments. He’s human. He’s a father. Sure he had his tender moments. But combat does something to people that makes them not like people very much. They tend to get so goddamn protective, that they will crush you trying to protect you. And being the sickly little wimpy-assed kid that I was, that seemed to be not much of a challenge for a burly motherfucker like my father. 6’1″…230…arms like a gorilla, twice as hairy and 10x as strong. Fuckin-A! The dude was a mechanic. He beat the shit out of steel on a daily basis with his hands, then came home all pissed off lookin for some measure of peace in a fucking nuthouse with “three screaming kids.” One of which, was walking talking knowitall smart-mouthed asshole who was just a little…too…smart for his own good. He always told me…
“that big brain of yours is gonna get you in to some serious trouble some day, on account of those big-assed ears can’t seem to offset that runaway mouth of yours. Ask the wrong question, and you’re gonna pay for it the hard way.”
Man...how proud he would be if he could hear me telling God to STFU!!!
^Cars – Since You’re Gone (with lyrics) – HD^
I remember seeing this picture/cartoon in the newspaper just after 9/11/2001. I must admit, it summed up my feelings quite well. It helped me channel some anger, and it also made me very sad for what I was pretty sure would eventually happen, and all of those that would die as a result.
More than anything…it probably made me very confused.
Prolly why it made me feel quasi-normal again.
But I still don’t know what to think about it.
Sure…there is a certain security knowing that you live under the protection of one of the biggest, baddest bullies on the block.
Then…suddenly…there’s that…”bully” part.
^Black Sun Empire & Audio – Drizzle^
September 11 Attacks
September 11 Attacks (Disambiguation)
War on Terror
Crime Control (Redirected from War on crime)
War on Drugs
War on Cancer
Carrack (Redirected from Naus)
0 (Year) (Redirected from Year Zero)
Astronomical Year Numbering
Numbers. They mean things.
Q: Yeah…but what does that mean?
A: I dunno. We’ll find out eh?
Mystery = SOLVED! Next!
Wow…what a fucking sunset tonight. The sky was on…fucking…FIRE! It got up to 81°F here today. Warm day…even for Texas in January. But the wind was blowing like a MOTHERFUCKER this morning. I’m talking 50 mile per hour gusts. Then…it just fucking stopped. And I mean stopped…dead calm. The birds were going fucking nuts. Singing like…well…birds. It was beautiful. Lotta cirrus clouds on the move today. Weather change is coming. I mean like…another weather change.
^Lyrics~El Paso-Marty Robbins^
X: You don’t really think that you are …
Cade: Telling God or the gods or The Universe or what the fuck ever to shut the fuck up?
Cade: Well…I have. Several times even. But it’s kinda…
T: And you think that makes “everything OK?”
Cade: Since when is anything “OK?”
Z: OK…lemme “butt in” here.
Z: Thanks…I needed that.
X: What are you really hoping to accomplish here with “all this shit”…as you so succinctly put it?
Cade: You’ve got “the list.”
X: I do?
Z: Well…sorta. It’s kinda…
0: Spread out. “The List” is kinda spread out.
Cade: Thanks. 🙂
X: So um…you really think you can accomplish “all that?”
Cade: Hmmm. I don’t think about it much.
X: Why not?
Cade: What’s there to think about?
B: Under way?
Cade: Yep. Don’t “understand”…just “get under way”…
X: We’ll figure out the rest as we go eh?
Cade: Welp…I dunno what kind of timeline that you’ve got in mind, but I’ve been at this for a while.
Z: What about death?
Cade: What about it? It can wait. I got shit to do.
T: You know…it sounds kinda…”funny”…when you say that like that.
Cade: But isn’t that the whole point of confusion?
X: You mean…contextually?
Cade: I don’t care if you call yourself a bucket of shit with the lid off. There’s no way to explain what cannot be explained.
Cade: /me shrugs
C: What else would you call it?
Cade: Um…I wouldn’t call it anything else. But experiencing during the experience itself…
0: Is quite the experience. Wouldn’t you say?
Cade: Well…I would have if you hadn’t finished my sentence there for me.
X: What is that…er…ahem…”family trait” of yours that everyone is so afraid of?
Cade: Mental illness.
X: Anything…in particular?
Cade: Hearing voices. Schitzophrenia.
X: And…have you…been…er…ahem…”diagnosed”…as such.
Z: What have you been diagnosed with?
Cade: Wouldn’t “what have I not been diagnosed with” be easier? I mean, such as “I have not been diagnosed with Schizophrenia/Schizophrenic.”
Z: Why not?
Cade: ROFL…um…I dunno.
B: It’s never too late ya know.
Cade: lol…you asshats are funny. 🙂
X: O RLY?
Z: YA RLY!
A: May I? Before you end this block particular to here?
A: Um…why do you think that “you leave me out so much?”
I: I can answer that.
A: Har har.
Cade: I dunno that I’m “leaving anyone out.”
X: It just comes out as it comes out…is that it?
Cade: Hope fully not.
Z: I’ll reword that for “X”…ahem…It just…comes out as it does?
Cade: Yep. It’s gotten a little…erm…
Cade: Yep. Very…subtle as far as…
0: Actual noise?
Cade: Yeah. But, I’m not trying to “figure out” the…erm…help nor helpers.
A: Why not?
Z: Good answer.
0: I’m…not so sure…
Cade: Har har. “Devil’s Advocate?”
0: I’m…not so sure…
Z: Saw that one comin.
Cade: lol 😉
^Leroy Anderson – The Syncopated Clock^
X: So…what’s next?
Cade: I dunno. I’ll never have “an answer” to that sort of question.
X: What sort of question?
Z: The “mental health” question.
Cade: I’ve been diagnosed with a lot of shit. Bipolar disorder is only one of them.
Z: Maybe that’s the most important one.
0: Give you a good excuse to go crazy.
Cade: Har har.
0: It does. You can prolly get some miles out of that one.
Cade: Unlike the asthma?
0: Well…yeah. Just…different miles on a different path.
Cade: So…violence and bloodshed and nasty shit.
0: I didn’t say all that.
Cade: I did.
Cade: 😉 You can always make me smile, think, feel comfortable, smart, and yet completely stupid in a single thought.
0: Thank you. I do try. 😉
Z: Taugh em all he knows.
X: He he…he.
Cade: The comfort zone…right here…right now.
X: Do you feel…comforted?
Cade: Hadn’t thought about it until now. Some of my goals on that “to do” list are…
Cade: If anyone would know…you would.
X: And why is that?
T: Yes…why is that?
Cade: /me shrugs
^The Flower Duet (Lakmé)^
If were to make of the list of shit that I am trying to accomplish, it would be scoffed at as the most unachievable set of goals ever manufactured by a single human being in the entirety of history.
If I were to make a list of the shit that I am trying to accomplish, that I actually think/believe that I can actually accomplish…it would make the previous list pale in comparison.
A: Because I can.
Q: You honestly think that you can achieve the unachievable?
A: I’m already doing it. The rest?…is gravy.
^Manufacture – As The End Draws Near (1988) [HQ]^
It’s weird tho. Groups of human beings can manufacture lists of impossible goals…and that’s just fine and fucking dandy A-OK. But let a single person come up with a list of the same goals, and suddenly…you are the fucking anti-christ trying to bring about the end of the world. Hmmm…well…that may be. But I can tell you that I certainly didn’t build huge stockpiles of weapons that are capable of doing just that. Meaning…ending “the world.” But even that is horseshit. You fucks have gotten so goddamn paranoid about all of this shit being everywhere, that you aren’t sure if you should dismantle them, use them, or replace them with something even more destructive…all on the premise of prevention and deterrence. Welp…you’ve sure as shit deterred me. I lived a good portion of my life convinced that I was simply born at the wrong goddamn time in the wrong goddamn place, and there was really nothing to even live for, because the whole world and everyone in it was hell-bent on taking the only thing that I ever had that was mine…my life. Welp…it’s weird how shit turns out sometimes. Sometimes…you are simply born in the right goddamn place at the right goddamn time. And everything is exactly correctly correct.
Well…maybe with a little nudge here and there.
I can do what I can do.
I will do what I will do.
Whatever that is?
Unless we don’t.
I see time differently than most.
I’m in no hurry.
Q: What’s your hurry?
Yep…that’s what I thought.
Questions, questions, questions.
Let’s get ya some answers…K?
^InsideInfo – Metamorphosis (feat. Miss Trouble) (Lyric Video)^
It’s not that I am not patriotic. I am. Very much. However, I just think a little bigger and smaller kinda…simultaneously. Afterall…my country…is attached to the same planet that your country is attached to. Some of us are more or less attached to boundaries and borders when it comes to maps and people. I can hate motherfuckers as much and as easily as anyone else. But I see my brain and my heart as partners…working in tandem with the rest of me and my body, spirit and soul to be…the best I can be. Whatever that is…is the best I can be. You get to see whatever you see. Whatever you choose to see or accept as real or unreal or non-real…that’s your choice. I want nor need nothing from you. Unless I want or need something from you…at which point…we’ll both know what I want and/or need. I wouldn’t know if I’m being led or dragged or carried. I just know what I know. And I know that I personally love diversity and change. I also love safety and security. But not at the expense of diversity and change. To me…that’s freedom. You wanna build walls and crawl into holes in the ground so you’ll feel safe and secure…knock your fucking self out. Just don’t expect me to do the same all under the premise that there’s not a better way, or that shit is completely hopeless. If you don’t know what you want…how in the FUCK do you expect me to know what you want. I can operate on similarness…not sameness. Ask me something…then…yeah…we can talk sameness AND similarness in that order.
I gots no answers.
^Virtual Riot – Time Stops (ft. Danyka Nadeau)^
X: You aren’t very happy with “this particular whathaveyou”…are you?
Cade: Nope. Kinda lost today.
X: Anything in particular on your mind?
Cade: My cousin.
Cade: Yep. Well…that and Morgellon’s and some other stuff.
X: One word…”shaving.”
Cade: It’s…causing me distress.
0: What…in particular.
Cade: Crossing lines.
X: What if they’re already crossed?
Cade: They are. I can see that. However, that doesn’t mean that I personally have to cross them.
Z: And what if you do have to cross them.
Cade: I know I do. It’s a question of how.
T: So let me get this straight….the lines are already crossed, it’s just that you personally have yet to cross those lines, but you aren’t sure how to cross them? Come on man…what’s the real scoop?
Cade: You’ll let me know. I’m sure of it.
T: Yeah? And how do you know that?
Cade: I don’t. It’s just…a feeling.
T: I wouldn’t trust your feelings if I were you.
Cade: Yeah? Well…you aren’t me.
T: Well said.
X: Here here.
<song here = almost avoided>
^Benny Benassi – Come Fly Away (Adam K & Soha remix)^
AH HA!!! We have a question via the whatever however hotline!!!
WHH Q1: So Cade…if that even is your real name…do you love God?
Cade A1: Fuck you.
WHH Q2: So Cade…if that even is your real name…do you love Jesus?
Cade A2: Fuck you.
WHH Q3: So Cade…if that even is your real name…have you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?
Cade A3: Fuck you.
Cade: Anything else?
0: Nope…I think that about covers that.
WHH Q4: So Cade…what is your real name.
Cade A4: I have no name.
0: BLOOPS!!! Sry bout that.
Cade: No prob. 🙂
D: Erm…you don’t really think you are talking to “the gods” do you?
Cade: Nope. Making the whole thing up.
D: So you really have no name eh?
Cade: Nope. Not one that you know.
D: And that means…exactly “what”…to me?
D: You don’t like me…do ya?
D: You don’t?
D: Why not?
Cade: Why not what?
D: Why don’t you like me?
Cade: I didn’t say I didn’t like you…you did.
D: Oh…I see.
^Mark The Beast – Breathe (ft. Niks)^
*Ha! Knot Wiki Wavy Wonderwall, Click? …/ 🙂 …*