Good News, Dear Reader – I start a new job on 2nd May. I’ll be PAing to a top Council bod for a year, whilst his current PA will be off, knocking out and raising a baby…
*/squints…*
I’ve spent today at my new office being introduced to people and systems, shadowing the present incumbent…
*/rolls eyes and shakes head… Okay, Clicky…*
Everybody there was really nice and I think I’ll be okay once I get to grips with all the acronyms. Tricky things acronyms…
*Just because it’s Public Sector and not Private, doesn’t mean I’m becoming a leftie, Clicky… Remember, I spent 16 happy years at the JLP… Oh!*
Anyhoo… I just thought I’d let you know that I’ll soon be in gainful employment. “Phew!” as Thoughtful Man would say…
*Yes, he is rather pleased…*
Of course, I’ll still be posting here at the LoL, and writing short stories and editing others for The Underdog…
Doo have a wonderful weekend, Dear Reader… and a Song ❤
Apols, Dear Reader but eyes elsewhere, head stuck a in story for The Underdog Anthology Vol. 2. Story numero uno has been written, submitted and accepted for inclusion by The Underdog *…/Whoops loudly…*
…But the deadline has been shortened for story number two. That is where I’m at. To cover my embarrassment at not posting for a whole week, Cade the Okie Devil has graciously stepped in and provided The LoL with another stimulating missive to keep us all enthralled…
… Hold on to your hats, chaps… It’s a doozy… *Hit it, Clicky!*
*******
D_ERF. WEAR_DAT_AT_B_AT?
TRANSLATION: The Earth. Where Is It/Where Is It At/Where is that at, at?
The easy answer is “here.”
But you are there, and I am here.
So yeah, it can be, and is, here and there at the same time.
Here and here…even.
^Alex Gaudino & Shena – Watch Out HD^
So…there was a little girl walking home from school one day, when a boy stopped her, and told her…
“I’ll pay you a nickle to climb that telephone pole.”
She agreed, climbed the telephone pole, he paid her the nickle, and she went home. Upon arriving home, she told her mother…
“MOM! A boy from school paid me a nickle to climb a telephone pole!”
Here mother told her sternly…
“Don’t you know that he only did that so he could see your panties?!?!?”
So the next day, the little girl is walking home from school again, the little boy stops her again, and again…offers her a nickle to climb the telephone pole. When the little girl arrives home, she tells her mother, that the little boy paid her another nickle to climb the telephone pole.
Her mother shouts at her angrily…
“DIDN’T I TELL YOU YESTERDAY THAT HE ONLY DOES THAT TO SEE YOUR PANTIES?!?!?!”
The little girl responds…
“Yeah. But I tricked him. I didn’t wear any panties to school today.”
^DyE – Fantasy – Official Video^
OK…so…ur asking yorselfies…”wut duh FUK iz dat awl aboots?”
Welp…the short is…a song.
^Pet Shop Boys – Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money) (Version 2) (HD)^
More on that, would be and is…some thoughts from Hugo’s Probe as to my comment about viewing The United States as anything but “The Land of Opportunity” in my life.
The long would be…or might be…maybe a question from The Whatever However Hotline.
Q: Cade, What is your fascination with Nitrogen?
A: Welp…”The Bends” would be the short of that, with maybe a note and a nod to pressure(s) and bone(s)….and maybe even a question of my own. So yeah…Leukemia. And Cancer(s).
Q: Why is Nitrogen so “stable?”
A: ?¿?
So let’s think about that a bit, and make an assumption that Nitrogen, is anything but stable. Why and how? Easy…
TEMPO_RARE-E_STATES_UV_MATTER.
As I was writing that little play on words, I debated on using “OF” or “UV” there, as I have previously used both. But thinking about Nitrogen under pressure in aircraft tires, and thinking about energy/energies and spin(s) with respect to temperature(s) and light, and the direction and directions of aircraft tire rotation(s) as they are retracted into and/or extended out of an aircraft…welp…there’s a lot to think about there when you start to factor in the outside and inside air/airs and gasses. Because we have a lot of shit in motion…and I ain’t just talking about the status of the lavs on the aircraft. So let’s cut to the chase…and get right to “the answer(s).”
A: Negligible.
When, where, for how long, and why. And let’s go ahead and introduce that peskiest of interrogatives…”if.”
^Aurora covers Massive Attack ‘Teardrop’ for triple j’s Like A Version^
X: Did you just shush me? Cade: No. But I will if you don’t be quiet. X: …
I’m actually laughing like a hyena at that one. I try to weave humor into my writing when and where I can. But the problem with me writing at all…is that I don’t want to be writing at all. Why? Because I doubt myself. As the character “Al Swearengen” from the HBO series “Deadwood” would say…
“I work better closer in.”
Except when dealing with…erm…I honestly do not know how to say this without sounding like a fucking egotistical asshole…so I’ll just say it…
“Except dealing with those things, which most people that I have encountered in my life, have no interest in whatsoever.”
The kinds of things that, when you try and talk to others about? They look at you like you are a fucking alien, and then tend to follow that up with “What in the FUCK planet are you from?”
There is no answer to that. And only because the conversation stops there.
^CAMPFIRE COOKING IN THE WILD – ALASKA^
So looking at the image above, and thinking about velocity and acceleration...
Q: What is the opposite of Acceleration?
A: ??? I dunno either. ???
Q: What is the opposite of Velocity?
A: Philosoraptor?
Alright…so lets think of Velocity and Acceleration together as VA/AV and AV/VA instead of their individual components.
Q 01: What is balance? Q 02: When is balance? Q 03: What is balance and when? Q 04: When is balance and what?
If you’ve already answered this/these questions in previous findings, then why are they no longer relevant? When are they no longer relevant? Why are they, suddenly…relevant?
The best I got to answer that?
Yep.
You guessed it…time.
^Grimes – Oblivion^
DUDE! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LIKE….TIME, tIME, tiME, timE, time?!?!?!?
Because I think it important to consider the fact that time was a consideration upon creation.
I include it.
It’s included.
Why do you leave it out?
When something is created, if time is not a consideration, from…to…and through…I’m betting you are gonna see some gaps there.
If you assume, that an Oxygen atom on Earth/Terra is always going to be identical, to an Oxygen atom on Mars or some other planet or solar body…you just negated the entirety of existence.
Exist-Tense.
Time is important.
Friction, is also important.
So maybe if you think about creation and destruction as ongoing? It’ll be easier to understand why “The Big Bang” is still happening, and the role of “The Big Swirl” within “The Big Bang” and vice versa.
Life…might help out there as to how destruction works within the construct of creation, and how the two are separate, and yet the same, at different places, at different times.
I mean…if you are destroying…for the sake of creation…didn’t you just find what you were looking for?
Meaning: The conditions that existed right after “The Big Bang?”
Two Words:Red Shift/Blue Shift
^Why Are We Here? – Episode 1 – Red vs. Blue Season 1^
Are you crazy? Just a suggestion…but if you are completely nuts in a sane world, and want to be sane yourself?
Surround yourself with crazy shit.
Not that it’ll make you sane or anything according to “the sane people” who keep telling you that you are insane…but it may help you.
And what is…”crazy stuff”…you might ask.
Welp…think of it like this.
Yer feeling crazy right?
You’re wanting to feel sane right?
Sane <> Pain. Pain <> Sane.
It’s a good place to start anyway.
I mean…you are hurting already right?
And others are telling you that you are hurting them by not being normal and/or sane?
Welp…I’m not in the habit of dictating morals. There are enough motherfuckers on this planet that already have a monopoly on that shit, and then some.
However…taking a moment or two, to discern for yourself, what you consider “sane” and “insane” might just help.
See how crazy that can get all of sudden?
You would be surrounding yourself, with the same shit you are prolly already surrounded by.
So yeah…maybe not trying to be “the bigger person” or “the better person”…and maybe just be yourself. It ain’t easy, I’m aware of that…but what I don’t know is you and your personal situation. And more than that, I never can if you are no longer with us.
Take that for what it’s worth, because I’m not on some quest to get to know every single motherfucker on this planet.
But I do have a desire to reach out as best I can, and meet the need and needs that are unmet, even if that is just to say “Howdy! I’m listening.”
❤
^Ohgr – Lusid^
Yeah…I’m not much to look at…so…listening…I’m good at it. Or at least, I strive to be. I guess one of the problems that I face, is when someone asks me a question that can be answered with a pretty succinct, generally accepted type of answer. My goal is to know how to custom tailor that answer specifically for you and your needs. That’s a toughie. Prolly why cliches are so popular. Time is important anyway, and we never have enough of it. So the cliches tell us anyway. But I guess it’s kinda like being given a single seed to start a new life. When we are thinking in terms of “BUT…I Want A Garden!!!” …taking the time to explain things like…”But I just gave you one”…and then taking the time to explain the hows and whys. How that plant will grow, how it will mature, and how it itself will produce even more seeds. You can then take those seeds, and begin your garden.
Funny…”can’t see the forest for the trees?”
“Can’t see the garden for the seeds?”
Or something…???
I dunno…I guess my point is, that when someone sees something in their mind, and have a desire to pursue that dream, I guess I get lost trying to understand how someone does not work with that dream even tho it may not be our dream. I guess I’m thinking of my role as “a child then” and “a parent now” in that, I only want to do the best that I can to help my children understand how important it is to me that they always be themselves. That they belong to themselves, and always have.
So yeah…if anyone is wondering what the point of me writing all of this nonsense is? Welp, when you are told time again that “you prolly ain’t gonna make it this time”…and then at some point you are like…”wow…shit just got real…I better prepare”…and that’s what I am trying to do. Leaving something for my children, and even whatshername, and anyone else who might find any of this shit helpful…a trail. Yes…it’s my trail. But I have figured out a thing or two in my life, that others found helpful for them, that I custom tailored to work in my life, all from that original seed, that grew and produced much more than I ever would have imagined.
My goal is to pass that on.
DIY->PIO
Do It Yourself…Pass It On
^ohGr – Pissage^
I’ve had some comments to the effect of “your stuff is difficult to read.”
I’ve thought about that quite a bit.
I guess maybe because most who read this shit, may not think that I am actually this hard on myself. But I am. Internally? It’s brutal. A bloodbath.
But that keeps me straight. It reminds me of what I want to be…and what I do not want to be…all at the same time.
And I’m not saying that all of my bullshit is anything particularly extraordinary. But we seem to live in a world that is failure based, based on, failure at the end.
I flipped that.
I assume that everything that I do will be judged as a failure, and on occasion, I am pleasantly surprised.
Plan For The Worst…Hope For The Best.
We’ll know when and if we know…ya know?
^Benny Benassi – Satisfaction^
Once something is eliminated…now what are you planning on doing? I mean, have you really considered what you have waded through to isolate a certain something, just to eliminate that certain something that you are certain is the cause of all of your woes? What is that certain something connected to, and what is connected to it?
I’ve proposed some ideas about “hugging your fear” instead of trying to isolate and eliminate it. I mean, if it’s afraid, why not try and console it? Threaten to drive it to McDonalds and drown it with a chocolate shake. Take it on vacation and threaten to feed it to the sharks. Take it to the local amusement park and scare the shit out of it on some rides that you would never have previously even considered riding. You know you better than anyone…why wouldn’t you know your fear as well as anything else? Just temper that with “a trip to Fantasy Island always ends with a return to reality.” BUT!!! Aren’t we always glad to be home after being away? We tend to sink into our favorite chair or couch or bed and tell ourselves that the only thing better than being home?
I can’t wait to do that again.
What you do from there? Meh…maybe it’ll all work out.
^Die Antwoord Fatty Boom Boom Official Video1080p H 264 AAC^
So yeah…orbital dynamics/orbital mechanics, I’ve been meaning to think about them a little bit more, but…I keep swirling around this Nitrogen business, and I cannot figure out why. So thinking about things that cause fear, and the things that are connected to that fear, ever thought that maybe…just maybe…you were able to find that whatever it is kind of path of things connected to that fear which allowed you to isolate that thing that is causing your fear? And that maybe…just maybe…it was like a fuckton of signs pointing to “HERE!!!”…but not in the way that you might think? I mean…if you show up loaded for bear…how do you think that fear is gonna respond? Just keep “the rule of corners and cornered” in mind, and you might wanna “get a bigger boat”…if for no other reason…than to get your ass outta there double-quick. Maybe offer that fear a ride while you are at it.
^Tove Lo – Habits (Stay High) – Hippie Sabotage Remix^
I guess that I’ve tried a great deal to think about “aliens” and “alien visitation” a little bit differently than such encounters tend to be/have been postulated…whether those are defined as “good” or “bad.” Because, what about “Encounters of the 0th Kind?” No fireworks, no mass landings, no warfare, no big production, no covert undercover bullshit, no conspiracy(s)…because it’s completely unnecessary. We didn’t come here to steal your kidneys and sell them on E-Bay so we can afford gas for the trip home. We didn’t come here to suck your brain juices. We came here, because you were on the way to where we were going. We had no idea you were here.
Even if they were on their way to kick the fuck out of some other planet/civilization, they encountered us on the way, because they were “taking the short path by going the long way around”*…and whadda ya know…
“look down there Zorbap17!!! There’s life on that planet!”
Let’s stop in and see whazzup! I mean really…how would that go down? Even for a species that was well versed in The Universe, and Universal travels and traveling. It seems to me that “out of the way backwaters like Earth/Terra” would be a “WOAH FUCK MAN!!! WE GOTTA STOP!!! UNCHARTED TERRITORIES!!! UNKNOWNS ABOUND!!!”
To me, that would make the story of “The Annunaki…traveling The Universe…in search of Monoatomic Gold” story make a little more sense. That “The Gold” that they were/are looking for? Welp…I cannot speak for them because I do not know them, their purpose(s), nor even if they exist. But I would think that “their purpose” would be better stated as “their purpose = their purposes.” I mean…doesn’t that resonate with a species of life that we are just getting to know?
Yeah…us.
We’re finally meeting ourselves coming and going, in a world that is getting bigger and bigger all the time, even tho the planet itself it staying the same size. Or thereabouts…let’s not nitpick here. There’s plenty of time for that.
Hopefully.
^Kiesza – Hideaway (Official Video)^
**taking the short path by going the long way around
As mentioned in the previous paragraph, “the long way around” is still going to be an “A to B” type of journey. We’re just gonna skip most of that by going around. These paths and pathways make sense in my head, because I can see them by using my special blend of a curved space model. It uses what is there, instead of trying to manipulate what is there in any type of folds or folding. I mean, isn’t the best part of a journey getting there? All the way. There and back, and all points in-between. Helps make the ending of the movie “Contact” make more sense to me. Especially…”The Chair.” Almost as if, the entirety of the design of this system was, and is, to isolate uniqueness, so that those needs can be met in the most…erm…gentle ways possible…without even asking.
Meaning: How secure are these entities that are coming? How paranoid are they? Any additions or modifications to the original design might be indicative. I mean…the were able to figure out the designs, they were able to build the machine, they put someone in it and sent it through…”what changes did they make?” 😉
Maybe that’s why “modifications” weren’t addressed at all.
The need unmet…met.
Nice to meet you.
❤
^Desire – Under Your Spell^
So yeah…maybe if we add some things together, monitor those dynamics, while also monitoring the individual dynamics…it’ll give us a better idea of what we are looking for and why. Because projecting, analysis and probability are only gonna get us as far as they do. Gotta keep it real. So…don’t forget time and times yeah? Many more lifeforms here than just humans.
If they are in our care…why are they in our care?
If they aren’t in our care…why aren’t they in our care?
I dunno. Do you?
^Yelle – A Cause Des Garcons^
The above image got me to thinking.
Q: If all of your simulations run in one direction (the existing one)…why are you not including the inverse? The reverse? What about the inverse of reverse, and the reverse of inverse?
A: SAY FUCKING WHAT?!?!?!?
Perspective. That means scope within a particular frame of reference. Directions and/or directional. If we aren’t running these “projections” from at least, the four cardinal points, in all directions? How close are we really? I mean, if some of the biggies that you are chasing are polar flip, weather patterns, and orbital dynamics of all kinds of solar bodies…what are you omitting and why? I’m sorry, but within the scope of concepts such as “The Big Bang?” Remove one single particle from that…whatever…and all of a sudden…everything changes.
So…using your own models and modeling of “If so-and-so wasn’t here, we wouldn’t be here either”…um…I gotta question what you are chasing and why? Simply because if you are chasing “the all”…yeah…that’s prolly the 98+% of The Universe that science qualifies as “missing.” Are you really gonna be happy with a model that “describes everything”…based on 2%? Because 2%? That’s some skim fucking milk.
^Crystal Castles ‘BAPTISM’ //official video^
I guess that what I am thinking, is that you can come to me with Jesus’s cellphone number, and tell me that it was detected on a printout after running a certain test at Fermi Labs, then rerun at the LHC, and that you are certain that your results are certain because of this.
Q: What about my children? What about yours? What about everyone else’s children?
A/Q/A/Q: ???
Don’t you think that they are gonna have questions down the road? Are we prepared to help them in the here and now, by trying to ask some “negligible” types of questions and trying to get some answers for them? Our “negligible” may be paramount to them.
Just askin. Just sayin.
Whatevz.
/me shrugs
^M83 ‘Midnight City’ Official video^
I’m just saying, that even tho over the last few days, two of my children have complemented me on my teaching methods, and I have no idea what prompted these “revelations.” They were/are startling. And I feel that tho I have done the best that I can, that there is more to be done.
Time.
That’s it. It’s that simple to me.
As long as we have time, we have everything.
As long as we have time, we can have anything.
Up to, and including, time.
X: Speaking of time…what happened? Cade: You mean…”The Flying Spaghetti Monster?” X: Yeah! I used to be all buff and stuff like that. Cade: Talk to Leo da Vinci. Maybe he set the bar a little too high. X: He didn’t smoke grass. Cade: Coulda fooled me. X: How would you know? Cade; rofl…I don’t fucking know. It sounded good at the time. X: Flying Spaghetti Monster… Cade: No comment. I think it’s funny. Kinda…indicative of the confusion level/levels. X: Join the club. Cade: Thanks…but…no thanks. X: …
This time last year, Dear Reader, I was still embarked on a ‘Pointless Exercise‘. I’ve not touched on the show since but it remains a treasure trove of synchronicity, wrapped up in the innocent garb of an amusing teatime TV quiz show…
*George Michael, who recently died, Clicky… Where are you going with this? …/furrows brow…*
*Okay… Red Frank’s MEROVEEpost… You’re not being rude are you? …/squint…*
*Ah! Yes, apparently MRS REIGN is a fan of ‘Pointless’… Clever, Clicky… /rubs snout… No, don’t pout… Of course I had faith in where you were taking me… /glances away…*
Armstrong later corroborated the source in a Radio Times interview, where he said a Palace insider affirmed that Pointless was indeed on Her Majesty’s TV viewing schedule.
It’s highly unlikely we’ll ever see The Queen make a guest appearance on the show herself. However, it may make other fans of it rather chuffed to know that they can count on the Head of the Commonwealth amongst their ranks.
Armstrong, Dear Reader, the name Armstrong occurs twice in the Pointless sync I am about to relay…
*/grins… Yeah, Hugo… He’s involved in my Pointless sync as well, Clicky… /continues grinning…
So, on Thursday evening Thoughtful Man and I were watching a back episode of ‘Pointless‘. It was in the ‘head-to-head’ round when the subject of Royalty came up, as it occasionally does…
It wasn’t Damien of ‘The Omen‘ fame of course, but Viscount Linley, 2nd Earl of Snowdon, a.k.a. David Armstrong-Jones…
*No… /rolls eyes… Yes, that’s Doctor Who as a ‘father’ but that’s not ‘Who’s father’, Clicky… /shakes head…*
… I mentioned Lord Snowdon’s passing to Hugo in conversation on Friday evening, but only after he sent me a news story about ‘Road Rage‘. It was unsolicited – I hadn’t told him of the silly Pointless answer I’d given the night before…
*/sings… You give me road rage… Love that strong Welsh accent, Clicky… Hey! Snowdon is in Wales… /smiles…*
*/gasps… OMG! Clicky, the brilliant sci fi book I’m currently proofing for Leggy… You are so clever! …/holds out arms… Come here, you impossible creature…/rubs snout…*
Dear Reader, I hope you have enjoyed this pointless sync at the LoL. I’m off to continue my reading, so if you have any questions or observations, please avail yourself of the comment section, below…
Er, I sat hear… smoking *…/takes drag* …Thinking about how to start this post, Dear Reader…
*’Amendment’? Yeah… ‘Morals and manners’? Most Definitely… ‘Accentuation’? …/wipes tear from eye… Doubly definitely, Clicky… ‘The self-satisfied’? I dunno about that, but I laughed like a drain…*
… I started reading it back in June when Hugo confessed to me that a short story he’d written for The Underdog Anthology, had grown into something somewhat bigger…
*/lights another smoke…*
…I jumped at the chance to read it – I was struggling to write my own story contributions (writing horror fiction doesn’t come naturally to me)…
*/taps off ash…*
… What I read, blew me away. I mean, I knew he could write, but what he’d written was incredibly sharp…
*/drags some more…*
… Mind you, it needed some copy editing, so I offered to do that for him…
… For the next month, Hugo sent me his output daily, sometimes twice, three times daily…
*/stubs out butt… Yes, yes I am Clicky…*
… and I corrected typos, made some suggestions (not always taken but always considered) and generally helped my friend Hugo birth his first novel…
*/lights up… Too fucking right, Clicky…*
… Hugo then sent his completed manuscript of ‘Cultish’ to my friend Leggy, to see if he would consider publishing it…
*/take puff and rests cigarette in ashtray… You know what Clicky, I’m so happy to have been able to help my two online chums in their budding ventures, I fancy having a little dance…*
*Nice! …/retrieves fag and resumes smoking…*
So, Dear Reader, I strongly suggest you get your hands on a copy of ‘Cultish’ by Hugo Stone… It’s ridiculously funny… It really, really is… And have a Song…
*Yes, you’re always busy, Clicky. Now shush it… /wipes snout… Oh for god’s sake, you’re covered in it too…*
… busy, but I haven’t forgotten you, nor the promised third installment of ‘Secret Santa’. For anyone new joining us today, it starts here. But to briefly recap: Office Letch, Harry, moons over Office Honey, Josie, but she’s taken. However, a lucky pull from receptionist Shazza’s Secret Santa hat gives Harry the opportunity to make sure they both get what they want for Christmas. Though, what each of them want is not necessarily the same thing…
*******
Friday the 23rd crawled ever closer and the gift I’d bought for Josie had still not arrived. The artistically baubled and tinseled plastic office tree was already starting to accumulate a drift of brightly wrapped presents underneath. I was feeling nervous and tetchy. Josie’s secret Santa gift would be on the large size and I needed to get it under the tree without anybody seeing, especially Shazza, otherwise where’s the fucking anonymity in that?
The tree itself was Shaz’s work, of course. Another time wasting opportunity courtesy of the Fat Kontroller. She’d spent an entire afternoon erecting it, dressing it, redressing it, and snapping selfies with it on her mobile, whilst the rest of the office – myself included – ran around picking up the phone she was paid to answer.
My ill will toward Shazza was further exacerbated by the group email she’d been sending out each morning. It contained a photo of her handiwork and a subject line that read: ‘Tree Minus X Days to Secret Santa!!!’. Three exclamation marks – not one (acceptable) or two (okay, it’s Christmas) but three. It arrived in my inbox at 9am prompt every morning, and as the days passed it seemed to me that she was mocking my attempt to woo the lovely Josie. My present to her had still not arrived.
Going by this morning’s missive, ‘X’ equalled ‘5’. It was Monday afternoon and I now had less than four more days to plant my gift under the tree without the rest of the office seeing me do it. Assuming it ever arrived that is.
At least it would be pre-wrapped. I’d taken full advantage of the online service and chosen the most expensive option. My plan had been for it to be delivered to the office last week, the wrapped present concealed by the outer box’s plain packaging. This would allow me time to take it home, extract the gift, and smuggle it back into the office in all its sumptuously wrapped finery, without anyone making the connection between the two. So much for that, I thought moodily.
My telephone rang, making me jump. It was Shazza.
“Harry. There’s a parcel in reception for you,” her voice trilled in my ear.
Thank fuck! “I’ll be there in a bit,” I replied shortly, and made to put the receiver down.
“No wait! Harry!” she squealed.
“What?”
“Please hold for one moment caller,” Shazza purred and put me on hold. I looked at the receiver and fumed. Fucking bitch!!
I was about to hang up when she returned. “Harry, it’s being brought round to you now. Byeee!”
She hung up as the Fat Kontroller ambled round the corner carrying what I presumed was my parcel.
“Harry! This is for you,” he bellowed placing it on my desk. The Fat Kontroller loves to make dramatic entrances. Half the heads in the office popped up over their cubicles, then popped down again like a troupe of wary meerkats. “What have you bought?” he asked. “Not been surfing Amazon on company time I hope. It doesn’t look like my Secret Santa gift this year…completely the wrong shape, eh, Harry?” he said with a wink.
“No Mr Kontrell. It’s for my dad. Power tools. He loves his shed,” I said with added eye roll. In fact mum had banned dad from doing any home maintenance since the Kitchen Refit Disaster of ’01, but the Fat Kontroller wasn’t to know that.
“Oh. How boring. Still, it’s better than giving him socks, I suppose,” he replied. Not if you’re my mother, I thought.
He seemed lost in thought for a moment and stood drumming his fingers on the top of my parcel. I watched his fingers rise and fall. Stop bringing attention to it, you bastard, I screamed internally.
“Erm, how did the big meeting go this afternoon?” I asked in an attempt to retrieve his attention and stop that infernal drumming. “We weren’t expecting to see you back until tomorrow.”
“Oh fine, fine,” he said, patting his bulging waistline. “Seasonal hospitality. Clients insist on being entertained this time of year. It’s one of those necessary but irksome tasks of business. Someone has to do it.”
Yeah right, I thought. Only he would consider lunch in a 5 star restaurant, overlooking the city skyline, as ‘irksome’. “Oh absolutely,” I agreed with a sympathetic look. “And you have more to endure before the week is out.”
“Yes,” the Fat Kontroller nodded gravely. I sensed that my diversionary tactic was about to backfire in the form of more work, but at least he’d stopped fingering my parcel. “Actually Harry, can you get me the sales projections for next year? I think we might be able to revise the figures upwards.”
“Of course, Mr Kontrell,” I replied brightly.
“And I might need you to stay on at the end of the day. Onwards and upwards, Harry,” the Fat Kontroller boomed, moving off towards his office. “Onwards and upwards!”
As soon as he’d gone, I slid the parcel across my desk and placed it underneath. All I needed to do was open it, remove the wrapped gift it contained, drop that under the tree when the right moment came along, and take ‘dad’s present‘ back home with me. Simples! as a TV meerkat might say…
*******
Be sure to come back on Friday, Dear Reader, for the exciting, double post conclusion to ‘Secret Santa’…
*Will it have a sting in it? Stone the crows, Clicky… Spoilers! …/rolls eyes… *
So looking at the image above, and thinking about velocity and acceleration...
**taking the short path by going the long way around
The above image got me to thinking.
.Meh.
Library of Libraries 