Missive From ‘Merica: Plumb, Dumb Ore Numb-Ass Day

Happy Sat-Here-Day to you, Dear Reader 😀

We have a fantastic, new missive from Cade, below, for you to enjoy. Now, I don’t want to delay you from getting straight to it… I’ll just leave a couple of things for you up here – a video…

… And a patented Okie Devil ‘Mystery = SOLVED! Next!’ 😉

*Knot to give any spoilers away, Clicky, but think ‘women’s plumbing’…*

Have a Song

Catch you at the bottom for a Song…

*A proper Song, Clicky… /holds up hands… At the bottom! Now…Git!*

*******

X: You can take E’s, E’s, E’s…but not O’s.

Cade: K. What about O’s and E’s?

X: O’s but not E’s.

Cade: Y?

X: AH! U have A question I see.

Cade: Yep.

X: K…well, in that case you can take O’s AND E’s, but not E’s or O’.

Cade: Got it.

0: I doubt that, but we’ll C.

Cade: KO.

0: You mean…OK?

Cade: Whatevz.

0: KO.

Z: 78 A?

Cade: So it would appear.

Z: 78’…good year.

Cade: Which one?

T: Don’t get smart.

Cade: Working on it.

X: You seem a shade out of sorts. What’s up?

Cade: Dunno.

X: Today is Thursday isn’t it?

Cade: That’s the rumor.

A: …

^Blind Side (Hybrid Soundsystem Remix)^

A: You have no clue what you are going to write about…do you.

Cade: Not that I ever do…but very perceptive of you. I got nothin’.

A: Why do you think that is? You see to be thinking quite a bit.

Cade: Dunno. Maybe it’s this nagging skin business?

A: Anything else on your mind?

Cade: It’s gone fuzzier than usual. Sorry.

A: Wanna come clean?

Cade: Nope.

A: Fair enough.

^Adriatique – Bodymovin’ (Original Mix)^

So hi. Yeah…I ain’t thinking about anything in particular. Ain’t gonna spring anything nutty on Roob, like a Random Wiki or anything, but I ain’t got much.

No music on my radar.

No news.

No images.

No info.

No thoughts.

0: Now that’s just not true.

Cade: For the most part it is.

0: Percentages. They only tell part of the story.

Cade: I’m down with that. Still doesn’t mean I have anything.

0: No need to state the obvious.

Cade: …

0: Several things are “on your radar”…aren’t they?

Cade: That doesn’t really mean anything. All I can do is think about them.

0: You thinking about…

Cade: Nope. I mean yeah…but no.

0: Hmmmm…

Cade: Nope…ain’t doing that either.

0: Making predictions? Are you afraid of being wrong?

Cade: I don’t know how to respond to that.

0: You’ve become a snoozefest.

Cade: Nothing new there.

0: …

^Saccao – It’s Over (Fabo Late Night Mix)^

I’ve been breezing around some places the last few weeks, and of course, there is now this interest in these three hurricanes that are here and there.

Q: What about Harvey?

A: ?¿?

Houston already gone off everyone’s radars in anticipation of the next big thing?

I guess the future is where it’s at, eh?

Thanks…but no thanks. I’ll bring up the rear.

Ya’ll blaze away tho. Someone’s gotta do it I guess.

/me shrugs
^Alan Walker – Faded^

B: Monday’s trip still eating on you?

Cade: You know it is.

B: And how would I know that?

Cade: Because you asked?

B: You know…they know, that you are making all this shit up.

Cade: Some may. Some may not.

B: Maybe there’s some rhyme or reason to that. You DO tend to play your cards a shade close to the chest.

Cade: I got snot answers.

B: And if you did?

Cade: They wouldn’t be burning a hole in my pocket…that’s for sure.

Z: An ironic observation for someone who “plays their cards close to the chest” in the way that you do.

Cade: Hey…I gets no questions…I gots no answers.

Z: Does that make you feel safe?

Cade: Where’d B go?

Z: I’m not answering that.

Cade: 😦

Z: …

^Hybrid – Last man standing (HD)^

There was a movie that I watched last night. It’s called City of Ember. Not bad. The puzzle aspect was pretty cool. Especially how they played it. There was an interesting image in the film towards the end. It was interesting to me, primarily, because this image showed up on my radar when shit got all kinds of sideways a few years ago.

Like, during the really really REALLY sideways portion. 

That point, where shit looked as if shit was gonna get so fucking sideways, that I was gonna lose any sort of grasp on what was happening within my life. At that point tho, but when the shit REALLY hit the fan after that? For me anyway…shit got really fucking calm and started to make sense. That’s when shit got so fucking sideways, that I don’t even know how to explain it with any degree of reliability nor relatability.

I know what it means...I just can't explain it. 

But yeah…an image…in that film I watched…I think I found the first instance of that image. Maybe it’s a popular one. Perhaps even well known. But not to me. Perhaps it rings a bell from my youth. I can say for certainty, that the song below got me through some long, rough, and lonely nights and days.

^Gold Panda – You^

G: Right on time.

Cade: As promised.

G: You promised to be on time?

Cade: No. Sounded good tho.

X: May I?

Cade: Maybe.

X: Do you realize that you just typed “Cade” without even thinking about it?

Cade: I’ve gotten that machine like, eh?

X: Maybe it’s comfort.

Cade: I’ve no idea.

X: …

^Oliver Koletzki – Arrow & Bow (Marek Hemmann Remix)^

X: What do you see there in that image above?

Cade: Something I was thinking about earlier today.

X: And what was that?

Cade: What an individual’s life looks like over the course of a lifetime on a spinning, wobbling, spinning planet from a Universal context.

X: And what did you come up with?

Cade: Something similar to that.

X: Looks like…knitting, or weaving, or something like that.

Cade: It does.

X: You think that’s how a soul is created?

Cade: It was just a thought.

X: I wonder what it looks like, like, prior to.

Cade: I dunno. It’s a lot to think about.

X: Wrote about something similar to that elsewhere recently?

Cade: Maybe.

X: …

^Mogwai – Take Me Somewhere Nice^
Lotta dreams over the past week or so. 

I’ve been staying up late, and not eating much, and I guess it’s causing me to dream a lot. I feel like a jerkoff for writing this shit, but I’ve nothing really to say, and feel like writing…so…yeah…don’t read it. Won’t change the fact that this particular whatever seems kinda self-serving.

Whatshername offered to buy me a bus ticket to wherever I want to go. So I guess I’m giving serious consideration to taking her up on that. Just need to decide where to go. Temperature around here dropped considerably all sudden like two nights ago. Definitely been much cooler in the day, and damn near a chill in the air for the past two evenings.

Moon looks damn nice.
^Youth – Daughter^

Didn’t stay up last night tho. Tis now Friday. Was awoken by a frantic knocking at my door. My youngest son…letting me know that…

“the plumbers are here, and mom is on the phone.”

Strange that she didn’t call me, but at the same time, not very strange at all. So I hop up, start to get dressed, and MY phone rings.

Whatshername: The plumbers are there.

Cade: So I’ve been told.

Whatshername: They weren’t supposed to be there until noon.

Cade: I didn’t know that there were plumbers coming at all.

Whatshername: They are going to be checking the plumbing for a leak.

Cade: …

Whatshername: Your youngest is out there dealing with them now. They weren’t supposed to be there until noon, and they don’t need to be talking to a 14 year old.

Cade: …

Whatshername: Well, I just wanted to let you know that they are there.

Cade: He told me.

Whatshername: Well, I’ve left work and am on my way home, but I’m not going to be able to be there for at least a half an hour.

Cade: OK.

Whatshername: I’ll be there as soon as I can.

Cade: OK.

Certain tension(s)? I don’t understand them.

Sure...I do...but no...I don't. 

However…answers? They are always coming. Like some galactic stutter…they are just waiting to come out…just takes a little patience and understanding. A shade of fortitude helps.

^The Chemical Brothers – Leave Home ( Koyaanisqatsi (1983) )^

So I wander out of my room to hunt down these mysterious plumbers that have suddenly appeared, and sure enough, there they were. They showed me what they had found, told me what they thought, and told me the plan from there. I told them that their find made sense, and that we had once lived in an apartment that had a similar problem. One of them asked me…

Plumber B: Do you know how to turn the hot water heater off?

Cade: No.

Plumber B: Let me show you, since you probably want to keep it off unless someone needs to take a shower.

We wandered back to where the hot water heater is located, he opened the door, and I noticed that there is duct tape all over the door and door frame.

 "Whatshername has been here." 

I don’t blame her for her creative methods of whatever it is she was/is trying to do, but some are doozies. Anyway, he showed me how to turn it off, and warned me of which pipes to be wary of so as not to get burned.

Cade: Me and her were recently divorced, and I’m literally just about to leave in a coupla days, but I want to get as much info as I can to pass along to her.

Plumber B: Has there been any recent change(s) in the amount of the gas bill or water bill?

Cade: You know, now that you mention it, she did mention that there was an increase in the gas bill a few months ago…but she said that her sister’s gas bill also went up at the same time, so I didn’t think much of it.

Plumber B: What about the water bill?

Cade: I wouldn’t know.

I thanked him, and we both wandered out back were Plumber A was using a long steel rod to probe the ground for soft-spots in the soil.

^Foetus – Slung^

I must say, I was shocked at just how deep he was able to run that rod into the ground. Even tho we’ve had a lot of rain this year, we have very hard ground here…black clay. Digging into it without machinery is damn near an exercise in futility, and yet, he was able to plunge this thin steel rod into the ground several feet with relative ease.

Yikes!!! 

Thinking about it now…the entire roof on this house was just recently replaced…like, right at 2 years ago I think. I got to looking at the ground, the foundation, the brick paths/bricks that make it up, the brick steps up to the back door, I started thinking about all of the cracks that I’ve pointed out to her in both the foundation and the frame of the house.

Plumber A: Is there any plumbing or water fixtures in the garage?

Cade: No. Just electric.

So it appears, that there is a hot water pipe leak under the foundation. They’ll bring in a listening device, pump air through the system, then track the location of the leak…pretty clever. If they need, they’ll also bring in heat sensors to place on the floor and see if they can get a better idea as to the locale, because where the soil is softening, is nowhere near a hot-water line.

This is rather perplexing. It does have me to thinking about sinkholes tho. Maybe that’s why that one Crepe Myrtle tree out front has started standing up so straight this year. It’s roots are being pulled due to the softening of the soil from the leak. That means, this pipe has prolly been leaking for some time.

^Jay Lumen – The Line (Original Mix) – Noir Music^

Younger Son: Dad…mom says she needs to talk to you RIGHT NOW!

Cade: Um…OK.

The plumbers were just about to leave, said they needed to contact the owner of the house/our landlord, and that everything would be handled and scheduled through them.

Cade: Yes?

Whatshername: Do NOT tell them you are living there.

Cade: What?!?!?

Whatshername: They DO NOT need to know you are living there. Do not tell them ANYTHING personal…they don’t need to know.

At this point, it became clear that she had been on the phone with my son, he had her on speaker, and she had been listening to the conversation(s).

Whatshername: You aren’t supposed to be there.

Cade: Huh?

Whatshername: Just…you aren’t supposed to be there. I’ll explain it later. Just don’t tell them ANYTHING about our personal lives.

Cade: OK.

Jesus Christ…all I could think about, was grabbing my fucking bag and backpack, and running. No idea what I’m running from…but it ain’t good…that’s for fucking sure.

I shoulda left Monday.
^Hannah Wants & Chris Lorenzo – Rhymes^

All I can think about, is my son sitting there on the couch, completely lost, and no clue what to do.

The answers are coming.

Yeah…you are prolly thinking…

“what’s the big fucking deal?”

I’m with you. It’ll get solved. He did great through the process, and I’m sure, that were I not here, he coulda handled everything just fine. But there’s something else at work here. It primarily involves information exchange. Or lack thereof.

So yeah...secrets.
^Lemon Interupt – Dirty^

As I continue writing this nonsense, Whatshername has since arrived home. She felt the need to recap everything that I already knew, and I’ve learned not to interrupt, or at least keep them to a minimum.

Whatshername: They are going to need to dig under the foundation.

Cade: I was here. They told me. I was here. They gave me the full skinny to pass along to you.

Whatshername: Did they tell you how long it was going to take?

Cade: A half-day to a day.

Whatshername: That’s what they told me too.

Cade: I know…I was standing there when you were talking to them on the phone.

Whatshername: You were?

Cade: Yes. You were on speakerphone. Look, the first time you called me, you implied that I needed to go out there and deal with them, so I did.

Whatshername: I appreciate that…but…

She’s a wreck…no doubting that. Each time I talked with her on the phone, I could tell that she was furious that they showed up early. She told them as much while she was talking to them on the phone. She even mentioned that she works in a basement where there is no cell service, and didn’t get their message until she left work. Plumber B, who was talking to her on the phone, mentioned that they had a cancellation, and as such, they were early.

^The Prodigy – Funky Shit Perplex Version^

Whatshername: I took you off the lease when I renewed it.

Cade: …

Whatshername: We aren’t allowed to have visitors for more than 14 days without approval from the owner.

Cade: …

So yeah...seek, and ye shall find.

Not that I was looking for any of that shit. Then again, I didn’t expect to be here at all. Things just keep developing that keep me around, as I am occasionally useful for certain things. But keeping me in the dark because you are working some kookie side-deals? You are trying to stand on your own…I get it.

Jesus Christ…we all need help. Especially when we need it. And we know better than anyone when we need it. When a committee must now decide just how needy your needs are, yeah…shit is gonna get sideways. Their objective is to say “no”. If they can’t say “no” to your request, then they fucking FIND a way to say “no”.

Trust...is NEVER on the table.

We’re talking about machinery…and clockworks…and processes…and rules…and guidelines…not people.

People are incidental and even inconsequential.

^Sasha – Rooms^

Just thinking that as long as needy is trumped by neediest, needy will always become neediest at some point. Or…they’ll die, and there will no longer be a need to need.

Speaking of…Kellie of “Kellie In The Raw”…it appears that her daughter was hit by a car recently.

Some good thoughts her and her family's way prolly couldn't hurt.

Prolly some people down Houston and S. Texas way that could prolly use some good thoughts as well.

^Din Daa Daa (Original 12″ Version) – George Kranz | 80s Dance Music | 80s Club Music | 80s Club Mix^
Sooooo....here we go.

I’m sitting in a house that has a mushy swamp under its foundation, a cracked or broken pipe somewhere, and I now feel the need to go point out to Whatshername that the owner of this house is gonna be a primary player in this. I get the feeling that she forgets that.

That said, I have no problem with her taking me off the lease, I expected to be gone by now. That does have me thinking a bit about those brand new roads that they just put in. Lotta weight and weight changes in a relatively short period of time. Lotta vibration and resonance changes, ESPECIALLY when you consider the number of trees that were cut down to facilitate the construction of these roads.

I’m not suggesting that this construction caused this pipe problem, but it could certainly be a factor. We are dealing in aggregate afterall. Yeah…lots of places, dealing in aggregate(s) AND singular(s). So yeah…I get the feeling that Newtonian laws are equally applicable in many areas that we’ve never fathomed.

^M83 – Wait (Kygo Remix)^

I guess the more that we tinker with the tiny, for the sake of the huge, we are going to see more and more shit like this. All kinds of crazy shit that makes no fucking sense at all.

Q: Why would it?

A: !!!???!!!

You gonna start deploying sensors here, there and every fucking where?

Gonna start aggregating information so you can make a better informed decision and/or better decisions?

To what end? 

Are you forgetting something?

Are you forgetting several things?

Many things?

^Armin van Buuren ft. Susana – Shivers (Original Mix)^

Leaks, leaks, fractures, and leaks.

That makes me think of that movie I just watched, City of Embers. It had Martin Landau in it, and he played the role of a pipeworks worker. At one point, he mentioned that the water system was in such a state of disrepair, and it had been so long since they had any new pipe, that the tape used to seal leaks was longer than the pipe system itself.

So yeah...pressure(s) + time(s) over time = leaks.

Now that you have read the previous sentence, you may feel free to get specific at this point.

It’ll help make your case.

Need any help?

^The Raveonettes “Love in a Trashcan” Music Video^

I’m sure you’ve got your tried and true steadfast methods, that work time and again and haven’t failed you yet.

I don't. 

Well…cept for the ones that you give me. And they look different from this angle. Especially when they serve you and not me or vice versa. How can I feel safe in saying such a thing? Welp, really, I don’t feel safe in saying it. But there is some consolation in knowing, that if I am involved…there is a reason. I was involved long before I showed up on your radar, and I’ll likely be involved long after I disappear from your radar. What does that mean? I dunno. But I will.

Or not.
^deftones – elite (08/21/09)^

WOAH!! A last minute question from The Whatever However Hotline!!!

Q: Cade…who are you talking to?

Cade: I dunno. Who do you want me to be talking to? Who should I be talking to? So yeah…I dunno. Don’t care either.

Sorry, was just interrupted by Whatshername coming to ask me how to turn the hot water back on. Showed her where the valve was, and explained to her, that when the valve handle is parallel to the pipe…it means the water is flowing, and when the valve handle is perpendicular to the pipe…it means that the water is not flowing.

A big smile crept across her face, almost as if to say…

“so THAT’S how it works!!! Clever!!!”

Yep…people are actually and indeed…quite clever.

Go figure.

Ya’ll go have a good weekend or something.

^Crookers – Remedy (Feat. Miike Snow)^

cYacFa

^Paul Keeley – I can´t (stop)^

*******

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, Dear Reader, and… Have a Song ❤

 

Missive From ‘Merica: ENCORE!!!

A treat for you now, Dear Reader…

*I know! …/claps hands…*

… Cade has sent through another missive, detailing an unexpected invitation and a visit a cemetery… Enjoy! 😀

*******

WHAZZUP?!?!?!?!???
^twenty one pilots: Stressed Out [OFFICIAL VIDEO]^

Was just cruising Craigslist for jobs.

Was just thinking.

I spend $24 a week on snuff/tobacco.

DUDE! That’s $96 a month that you, as an unemployed loser, would have in your pocket if you stopped chewing tobacco.

Q: What about those 30 days? Where would they be?

A: ???
30 days time 24 hours = 720 hours.
720 hours = 43,200 minutes.

Q: What’s your time worth to you?

A: ?¿?

Q: Since when did my time become your time?

A: ¿?¿

Q: Does that make your time my time?

A: ¿¿¿

Got the time?

^Depeche Mode – Policy Of Truth [Beat Box Mix]^

I actually wrote the above thought last week. Today is Wednesday June 21st. It’s 08:45 in the morning on an extremely blue day.

The Crepe Myrtles are blooming like crazy. Two pinks, and two purples. One of the purples is so ridiculously deep, I shake the tree slightly so that some of the blooms will fall among the grass, and the purple contrasts with the green that is absolutely beautiful in the bright sun. Hell, it’s beautiful on an overcast day as well. It almost glows. Whodathunk that a deep purple and a deep green would contrast on a cloudy day to create something that glows?

Anyway, across the street, there are neighbors that have some of these same trees that are various reds, and further down, there are some whites, a blue. When they come out…the entire street looks absolutely stunning. I mean, yeah…it’s still the ghetto

…full of illegal immigrants,

white trash,

niggers,

terrorists,

drug addicts,
unemployed losers who are sucking the government tit dry
and other various assorted hood-rats...

but not everyone can be you.

^Information Society – What’s On Your Mind (Pure Energy) (Club Mix)^

So…dude…why are you writing…yet again…instead of shutting the FUCK up and leaving?

Things change mang and/or mangette.

Such as…yesterday, I received an unexpected phone call. Yeah, all phone calls I receive are unexpected, but this one was from my mother. Yesterday was my younger sister’s birthday, and I had texted her earlier to wish her an HBD, so I figure that her and my mother prolly spoke and there was a comment to the effect of…

“Junebug texted me to wish me a happy birthday…do ya’ll ever talk?”

…hence

…big mamma called me.

But it gets weird from there.

^The Terminator Theme (1984) Live Cover^

I dropped by CFrank Davis’ new Smoky-Drinky chatroom and irritated the fuck out of everyone with my spitting and ugly-assed face. I didn’t even think about it until Frank made a recording of it…at which point I realized that the mic from my headset is right by my goddamn pie-hole, and I’m spitting into a cup. I must admit that the reverb was/is amazing.

Lolz

Anyway…watching that guy play the theme from The Terminator movie in the video above, and thinking about telling people what they can and cannot do…it got me to thinking about things that we do that we may not realize that we do. Especially if it is something that we do that someone else does NOT do, or maybe even something that they also do…they just do it differently.

Spitting…for example. Everyone spits at some point.

OH! You don’t?

Quick Observation: It says RIGHT FUCKING THERE on the toothpaste tube label…’Do not swallow’.

You might wanna read the label, chief.

The short being…yeah…I guess you do spit afterall.

I spit quite a bit, and not just because I chew tobacco. Meaning: I spit a lot, and don’t drink much. I will sometimes keep snuff in my mouth most of the day, and do not drink while I have a wad of tobacco in my mouth.

But then again…I have difficulty with swallowing. My mouth and throat are pretty much devoid of much of the machinery that aids with the mastication and swallowing process(es)…but you wouldn’t know that…would you? I mean, why would you? You’re only worried about my spit when in comes out. You couldn’t give a shit about any of my difficulties, so long as they are “my difficulties” and not “your difficulties.”

^Level 42 – Something About You – Razormaid ( Remastered )^

Just thinking about how to better describe elements as facilitators of energy, and not so much as sources of energy, in the way we like to think of them. Reason being is that I see the creation of large tympanic/temp-panic types of membranes at points of collision, within some of these reactions, that are being generated by high energy machines.

And I'm not just talking about colliders and/or accelerators, nor even explosive devices. 

And what I have been seeing more and more is a 4-pointed star embedded within a torus. I think what is being missed, is that for every calculation “inside” as to the resulting set and sets, is the calculations “outside”, that make the resulting set and sets calculations inside…possible. Not trying to be vague there, but I have no idea how else to describe it.

For every single calculation set for a specified purpose, is a coexisting secondary set that makes the calculation of the first set possible.

Layers. Does that help?
^Trentemøller: Moan (Official music video)^

MA: I was going to drive and and visit your uncle’s grave this afternoon. You wanna ride along?

CADE: Sure.

MA: Really?!?!? You do?!?!?

CADE: Yesssss….

MA: Well…um…ok…that’s…good. Are you dressed?

CADE: No. I’m sitting here naked.

MA: …

CADE: Yes mother…I am in fact…dressed/wearing clothes.

MA: OK…well…um…I’m still getting dressed and putting my makeup on.

CADE: Just tell me a time, and I’ll be ready.

It’s about 20 miles out to the cemetery where he is buried. She said that she had not been out to visit in a while, and also needed to check as to the location of 4 additional plots that she owns in this particular cemetery, as she is going to sell them.

CADE: These 4 plots are not currently occupied…right?

MA: They better not be.

I had my smartass on the whole way out there, and we laughed and cutup at the usual stupidity and ridiculousness of life. She couldn’t remember which road to exit on, so every single road that passed, she was SURE that we had missed the exit.

CADE: You know mom…that’s the good thing about panic. It teaches us how not to.

MA: I’M NOT PANICKING!!!

CADE: Whatever you say.

MA: <laughs>

CADE: At every exit missed, there is another exit down the line. We can turn around.

MA: Actually, I think it’s further up. I don’t think we’ve missed the exit.

CADE: Well, if we have missed the exit, at least there’s been no shortage of exits we’ve missed.

MA: I was just really surprised that you wanted to come out here with me.

CADE: Why is that?

MA: I don’t know. I just figured you wouldn’t want to come.

CADE: So what are you planning on doing out here today with these 4 grave sites you own? Are you gonna put up a sign that says “COMING SOON!!!” or something?

MA: <laughs>…noooooo…I just want to know where they are. I don’t know where they are. I want to be able to advertise where they are.

CADE: Sounds like a good policy to have with respect to unoccupied graves that potentially could have your name on them…not knowing where they are.

MA: We bought them, me and your father did, to have in the event that someone died and had no place to be buried.

CADE: Smart thinking. I’m glad they remain open and unoccupied.

I sure hope that I personally have not been a disappointment in that regard.

^Boston 168 – Oblivion [ODDEVEN004]^

The conversation in this Smoky-Drinky chatroom has been quite good, I think. I prefer to listen more than speak, but yeah…damned interesting stuff. Lots of people trying to figure shit out. But I have noticed lots of numbers being used within the context of certain scopes. Percentages. Odds. Averages. Lotta columns to think about there. I wonder if they’ll stand? LET’S SEE!!!

1 = 1.

 500,000 = 1.

 73% = 1.

        27% = 1.

       100% = 1.

        1 v 1

Yep...that's all there is.

Mystery = WHATEVER! Let’s Us Continue, Eh?

^ROYKSOPP – What Else Is There (trentemoller remix)^

We spent about 30 minutes wandering through the cemetery in the hot afternoon sun looking for my uncle’s grave. Watching my mom hobble around on her bum foot eventually got to be too much for me, and I suggested maybe that she wander her hobbly-footed ass back to the car, drive up to the information center, and they should be able to point us to within 1/2 mile or so of his approximate location. Not that I minded wandering through the cemetery. I read many of the names aloud as I read and pondered the lives that lay before my feet.

Many years, and many miles traveled. Many promises of “together forever” on many of these tombstones. However, I started to notice a trend of many “side-by-side” types of graves, that one side had an “occupied” and one side had a “reserved”, that appeared as tho it was always going to remain empty. There was a name and a birth date, but no death date. I started to crunch some numbers in my head, based on the birth dates, odds of still living, odds of remarrying or finding someone else in life, and then started to make mental notes as to just how many of these spaces there were…and there were a LOT of them. An unusually high amount of them considering the smallness of this particular cemetery.

I guess maybe we do stumble across others sometimes in life. I don’t think that is a bad thing. Then again, I just celebrated 2 months of being divorced. Not that I am looking for anyone, but I am certainly not NOT looking…just…whatever or something.

/shrug
^Get Far – Shining Star (OFFICIAL VIDEO)^

So…my dad is a Leo, mom = Taurus.

Dad born on 8-8, older sister died on 8-8.

There are 365 days in a year. What are the odds that a daughter dies on the same day her father was born? What if they both died of cancer? What the FUCK does cancer have to do with someone’s birthday?

I just remember how cold it was the day that we buried my uncle back in 1999. He died on Elvis Presley’s birthday…January 8th. Weird considering that my uncle was a HUGE Elvis fan. He had loads of rock-n-roll records from the 1950’s, and played a large role in introducing me to music from that period of time, when most of my other musical relatives had moved on to The Who, The Beatles and Pink Floyd. I personally like music from the 1960’s and early 1970’s…but I also hate it. I attribute most of the music from that period…not to love…but to violence.

Q: I wonder how much information weighs?

A: SAY FUCKING WHAT?!?!?!?!?

Yeah…I wonder how much information weighs. Gotta keep that contextual, since we are entities residing in gravity. Or, at least, residing within an arc of gravity that makes gravity a little more contextually pertinent, applicable and tangible.

^The Prodigy – Funky Shit (All Out Remix)^

MA: You are?!?!?

CADE: Yeah. Leaving next Monday. Whatshername is driving up to Oklahoma to go gambling, and I’ve asked her if she would drop me in Gainsville on her way up.

MA: Where are you going?

CADE: West.

MA: Do you have somewhere to go?

CADE: Yeah…west.

Ma: I mean…do you have somewhere to stay? A job opportunity?

CADE: Just looking. I wanna drop by Vernon and say hi to Granny before I head out further west. I may even head by Frederick since I’ve never been back there.

MA: Junior…I’ve been planning a trip to Vernon and Frederick for some time.

CADE: You have?

MA: Yes. I’m writing my memoirs. “So-and-so” and her daughter still live in Vernon, and they’ve been pestering me for some time to come and visit.

CADE: Oh really? I didn’t know she was still alive. Her daughter is about my age isn’t she?

MA: No, I think she was your older sister’s age.

CADE: Ah. Well…I seem to remember her now. Her husband is the one that had every disease known to mankind isn’t he?

MA: Yes. They did all kinds of testing and treatments and radical new therapy types on him.

CADE: He was a State Trooper as I recall.

MA: Until he couldn’t meet the physical requirements. Then county sheriff. Local police.

CADE: Anyone that would take him within his profession/trade and skill set.

We always had a lot of law enforcement types in and around our family. Lots of guns, lots of former military, lots of crazy stories. Prolly why I liked that movie “No Country For Old Men” so much. It’s setting in time brings back a lot of memories of violence in a violent time. Weird time for a kid to grow up in. Lots of movements and moving, lots of clashes and clashing.

^The Prodigy – Funky Shit Perplex Version^

CADE: OH SHIT!!! I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!!!

MA: Yeah…she was next in line for the inheritance, and she never had any children of her own. All of her children were adoptive children from her husband who already had children, got divorced, then remarried you great-aunt.

CADE: OMG!!! lolz…and all of the adopted children got all of the money, and all of the “family” children were left with nothing. lolz…I had COMPLETELY forgotten about that!!!

MA: There was a lot of turmoil. Lots of bitterness.

CADE: The kids of the kids felt that she should be excluded, because she had no children “of her own.” And if she died…

MA: All rights and monies died with her, and all rights and future monies became property of the corporation.

CADE: I remember all of that bickering and fighting.

MA: Do you remember that money I gave you a few years ago?

CADE: Wasn’t it like…$1,200? No…wait…

MA: I think each one of the children got a little under $400 each. It was a little under $1,200 total.

Cade: Yeah…that’s right. I remember that. It wasn’t much, but we needed it and it was welcome.

MA: I think that your great-aunt was getting somewhere around $100,000 every 3 years from the oil company.

CADE: That’s not very much considering what the oil companies were making.

MA: That’s still a lot of money.

Cade: Yeah…but so what. It’s all gone.

Not much of a trickle down from those who came before me. And yeah, it would have been cool to have a check for 5 billion dollars to suddenly appear in the mail. But I’m looking at the legacy aspect from a perspective that many don’t share. Which is weird, considering sharing is always on the minds of those who want me to share THEIR opinion and views on things. I mean, I see your point. I see your opinion. I understand it. I just do not agree that you opinion is right for me personally. Do you REALLY not see the irony in what you are asking of me, and yet refusing to give/provide in return?

MA: You know…she was a “black sheep.”

CADE: No she wasn’t. She wasn’t an actual <family name withheld>…she married into the family.

MA: No…she didn’t.

CADE: That’s what she told me when I spoke to her. Hell…I met her online, and contacted her via email to help her fill in some of the gaps in the family tree she was building online.

MA: Well…it turns out that she was an honest to goodness <family name withheld>…but she was…um…

CADE: A bastard?

MA: <sheepishly> The result of an extra-marital affair.

CADE: HOLY SHIT!!! That’s AWESOME!!! It all makes fucking sense now!!! THAT’S why she was so fucking interested in her “married-into side” of the family!!! It WAS her family…but they rejected her!!! SHE’S THE OTHER BLACK SHEEP!!!

MA: She’s dead now.

CADE: <thinking silently to self> No she isn’t. ❤

Thanks for everything you told me <name withheld>…I will do all I can to carry that information well.

^The Prodigy – Funky Shit (Mulder Exclusive Mix)^

CADE: So…mom…how does it feel to be 80 years ancient?

MA: You know that your aunt is 80 today?

CADE: OMG!!! I forgot that her and <sister’s name withheld> shared a birthday.

MA: She’s 80 today.

CADE: Doesn’t look a day under 130.

MA: <laughs> When have you seen her?

CADE: lolz…20 years ago?

MA: Her husband has Alzheimer’s you know.

CADE: I did not know that. Or maybe I just don’t remember. <har>

MA: And so-and-so has dementia. He still works as an attorney…but he has dementia. And so-and-so and their kids live up north now. They all play music.

CADE: That’s cool.

MA: You know that so-and-so and her family are here in Dallas now.

CADE: How in the hell would I know that? I don’t talk to anyone/no one talks to me.

MA: You don’t ever check the web?

CADE: I’ve not been on my Facebook page in years. No one cares. And that’s OK. Everyone has their own lives /shrug

MA: Oh…they do to care.

CADE: Weird. You know…I’m stupid…so…there’s that.

MA: You aren’t stupid. You are like your father…smart, have a big heart, and funny.

CADE: Um…how many sons do you have. Cause I KNOW you aren’t talking about me.

MA: I only have one son…SON…and that’s you.

CADE: Lucky you. Thanks for the compliments mom ❤

MA: Are you really leaving? What are you gonna do?

CADE: Mom…I cannot tell you what I don’t know. I also cannot tell you what I DO know over the course of a few sentences, any better or more thoroughly than I’ve already done. I’ve been planning this departure for quite some time. I have no answers for you.

MA: I don’t understand how you expect to survive.

CADE: Neither do I. BUT!!! I do expect to survive regardless of the how’s. I’ll figure it out.

MA: Can I hug you?

CADE: No.

We hugged, I told her to keep me posted on her Vernon trip, let me know before Monday.

MA: Why is she dropping you off in Gainsville?

CADE: Because I don’t want to be walking on the fucking psychopathic highways and byways of Dallas fucking Texas, and get murdered by a fucking car…again. The further I can get away from Dallas…the better.

MA: OK.

She handed me a $20 bill, which I accepted.

It was a great time.

I am thankful for it.

^depeche mode – the things you said (1987)^

So…we’ve got a big-assed membrane that somehow develops in an area proximate to where there are certain..erm…goings on…if you will.

Q: How does something…just…materialize?!?!?!?

A: Gee...I dunno. How does something just...materialize?

Anyway…yeah…when you start getting angular and less “3-dimensional” in a 7-dimensional space…suddenly…you can have energies traversing HUGE distances in some extremely short periods of time. Vast distances, at ridiculous speeds, that make absolutely no sense whatsoever within the frameworks of your theories, laws, and calculations.

Q: Seeing a trend yet?

A: ?!?!?

I’m just wondering how in the FUCK you expect me to talk specifics in a space such as the one that we are currently occupying. YEAH DUMBASS!!! THIS BLOCK OF SPACE RIGHT FUCKING HERE!!! HOW IN THE FUCK CAN I CRAM THE MECHANICS OF ALL EXISTENCE INTO THIS SPACE RIGHT…FUCKING…HERE?!?!?!?! I have no idea what your questions are. The best I can do, is forgo questions in their entirety, and tell you what I know. As a result … yeah … generalities … and a fucking FUCKTON of them.

EX: Do you like to fuck?

Me neither.

Let’s fuck and see what we can do to remedy this fucking issue with respect to not enjoying something that prolly should be enjoyable.

I’ll try and be good at it.

Hell…we may even like it.

😛

(no promises tho)

^ATTLAS – I Need You More^

Chances.

Chances…and taking them.

What are the odds?

Keep them in the 1 v 1 realms, and suddenly, the odds go out the fucking window.

50/50 = 1 v 1

Q: Which one do you want?

A: 
^ATTLAS Bloom EP: Overture^

If you want assurances and surety…I suggest you go take a piss.

Q: Did the urine land where you directed it?

A: ???

I doubt that any of it wound up on the ceiling unless you specifically and intentionally directed it there. There may have been some small bits that may have not gone EXACTLY where you wanted them to go…but wasn’t there toilet paper available to deal with these?

Which…that reminds me of something I once saw written on a bathroom wall above a urinal…

No matter how, you shake and dance…

The last two drops, are going in your pants.

Yeah…the fact that you have a bathroom/toilet to piss in, and that bathroom is located within a house that allows you the privacy to piss in privacy that is extra extra private and secure? Good for you. I hope everything comes out OK. 😉

^Lane 8 – Fingerprint^

This new wrinkle of my mother writing her memoirs and planning a trip along the some of same lines that I am about to travel…puts a fucking knot in my head.

She offered to drive me there. Asked me if I wanted to tag along on her trip. Which I wouldn’t mind doing…but I have no idea when she is planning to go. I had no idea that she quit her job as church pianist two months ago. But then again, why would I? We don’t talk much on the phone…and when we do…it’s all about assurances and plans and planning and planning for the future, and being better prepared and all kinds of shit that doesn’t always jibe with me in the way that she thinks it should. I mean…what in the FUCK am I going to do with some giant pile of money when I am 70 years old, and too busted up and fucked up to spend it in a way that was enjoyable?

That was the point in saving it…right? So you could retire, relax, and enjoy the good life? Well…what about all of that shit that you missed while preparing to enjoy life?

MA: I was a terrible mother.

CADE: Um…no you weren’t.

MA: Yes I was. I was a witch. Violent and angry.

CADE: You aren’t now.

MA: But I was then.

CADE: Then isn’t now.

MA: I know that, but that doesn’t change what I was.

CADE: Sure it does. What was, was, so that what is, can be.

I dunno. I think it’s just that simple. Or at least, it can be.

Whatever works tho.

^Sasha – Rooms^

I guess my mother is afraid that I’ll wind up sucking dicks at truck-stops and rest-stops for money.

Don't worry mom...I don't want that either.

I wouldn’t be any good at it, prolly wouldn’t make much.

Not that I've thought about that or anything.

The literature is kinda …vague… on how necessary that practice really is.

I guess it depends on how hungry you are.

Literature.

Litterature.

Hmmmmm….might make a good title for a book.

Or at least, part of a title of a good book.

Prolly already been done tho…so…meh…ain’t gonna Google it.

^Alan Walker – Faded^

cYa | cFa

^M83 – “Wait” (Official Video)^

*******

*/thinks… Didn’t Eminem have an album called Encore, Clicky…*

*Oh… that sounds like that Ali G’s song… /frowns… Fuck it, Clicky, give us something I can sing along to…*