Category: Poetry

Underdog Anthology XXIII: Spring Broke

Hello there, Dear Reader 😀

As you can see, the 23rd volume of the Underdog Anthology has been published and is now available to buy. The link, above, is for the paperback version that costs a fiver, but the Kindle version will also be available on Amazon very soon and that is considerably less expensive. Alternatively, if you really can’t wait and you only have 79p (99 cents) to spare, the ebook version can be purchased now via Smashwords…

*No, Clicky, Smashwords, not Smash Mouth… /rolls eyes… It’s a different thing altogether…*

*Oh I see, the anthology has 7 authors, one’s a woman… /lights up and smokes… I guess our stories are full of mystery…*

As is my usual want, I’m reproducing the Afterword, below. If you like it, you should maybe buy a copy of the anthology, and if you don’t like the Afterword, then you should probably still buy a copy, as the short stories are really very entertaining 😉

*That’s the tweet that gave me the idea for the Afterword, Clicky ;)…*

*******

Afterword

by Roo B. Doo

We live in Clown World, Dear Reader.

It’s possible that Clown World was ushered in with the release of the movie Joker in the autumn of 2019. On 9th February 2020, 3 months later after its release, the movie’s lead, Jokin’ Phoenix, picked up the Oscar for Best Actor at the 92nd Academy Awards. Two days later on 11th February (that’s a 9/11 wink *wink*), the World Health Organisation announced that they’d named the disease from a new and virulent coronavirus, released out of an Asian lab in the autumn of 2019, ‘Covid-19’.

Did I mention that South Korean movie Parasite picked up Best Picture, Best Director and Best Original Screenplay Oscars at the 92nd Academy Awards, along with the Joker‘s Jokin’?

Actually, this is just a working theory, bolstered by circumstantial evidence, such as the election of a literal clown, Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelenskyy, to Ukraine’s highest office in May 2019, whilst Boris ‘Clown Prince’ Johnson was elected to be U.K. Prime Minister in December 2019, book-ending the release of the Joker movie nicely.*

Now, throw in the election of ‘I’m not Joe King’ Biden to U.S. Prez (81 million votes, please) and No Vax Joker’s Itch winning and not collapsing at major tennis tournaments in the years since, and I’m sure you can start to see the appeal of my Clown World Theory. Unfortunately, Dear Reader, it’s in danger of morphing into a Many Clowns Worlds Theory.

Just last year, the University of South Wales surveyed 987 people with a psychometric questionnaire to assess their fear of clowns (coulrophobia). A whopping 53.5% were found to suffer from this affliction, 5% of which were severely affected. Now apply that to the population of our Clown World and the result is that over half are living in a constant state of fear, simply by living in Clown World!

Therefore, for this Underdog Anthology Dead Poets’ Page, only one song will suffice for the ritual sacrifice: ‘Send In The Clowns’ from the musical ‘A Little Night Music’ by Stephen Sondheim. By the way, the song features in the subway scene of Joker. If you’ve seen the movie, Dear Reader, you’ll know the one I mean. Fittingly, Stephen Sondheim died during Clown World, in September 2021.

With another U.S. Election taking place this November, Clown World continues.

See you for Halloween 😉

Send In The Clown Show

Isn’t it rich?

Aren’t they a pair?

Trump winning hearts all around,

Joe falls on a stair,

Send the Media clowns

Isn’t it news?

Don’t they approve?

Trump who campaigns on the ground,

Joe who can’t move,

Where are the clowns?

The Media clowns

Just as Trump stopped the U.S. starting new wars,

Finally knowing that all Joe ever wanted were more

Inflating his case again and again in front of the Media glare

Can’t say his lines

None of them care

Ukraine’s a farce

It’s Trump’s fault, we hear

You thought that Joe would want detente

Sorry, oh dear!

But where are the clowns

Mainstream Media clowns

Don’t bother, they’re here

Isn’t it rich?

The Media steer

Global hegemony lost so late in Joe’s career

But where are the clowns?

Trump-hating Media clowns

They’ll blame him next year

* Clown World Fun Fact: Boris and the Little Green Man (Zelenskyy actually means ‘green’) managed to scupper a peace deal hashed out with the Russians in March 2022, one month into the Ukraine conflict. Now Ukraine has no men, NATO has no weapons, Europe has no industry and Boris has no job. No joke.

*******

*Lol… /drags… That clown show has gotten even worse since that tweet…*

*Yep, Clicky, that really happened…*

*Trump is their worst nightmare… /stubs butt…*

I will publish Fright Club, the latest installment of the Ronageddon saga, here at the weekend, Dear Reader, but for now, have a Song…<3

CLICK5: The Hedge Gemini…

Underdog Anthology XXI: A Day Off For Angels

Well, hello there, Dear Reader 😀 I thought I’d pop out of Clicky’s shadow and let you know that the latest Underdog Anthology, No.21, has now been published and is available for purchase on Kindle and paperback…

… And to share the Dead Poets Page, or Afterword, with you…

*No, Clicky, I cruelly mutilated Walt Whitman’s poem in Underdog Anthology… /thinks… Nine. It was about…*

*Yes! Although I doubt Greta formed any opinion of it as I don’t think she’s even read it…* Continue reading “Underdog Anthology XXI: A Day Off For Angels” →

Underdog Anthology XX: A Dark Spring

*Thanks, Clicky… /lights up and smokes… Leggy did a lovely job with the cover. I wonder where he got the skulls from…*

*Ah, government-like. Gotcha… /flicks ash…*

Howdy, Dear Reader!

As you can see, the latest volume of the Underdog Anthology is now available to buy. It’s only available as a Kindle book at the moment, but the paperback will follow shortly. The cost of the Kindle book is only 79p, which works out at less than 10p a tale, and that’s throwing the Afterword in for free! I draw this to your attention, Dear Reader, as it seems to be a hell of a bargain, and something you may well want to take advantage of 😉

*Well, yeah, the stories in it are pretty dark, Clicky, but nothing like real life, right now. Seriously, have you seen who the UK government and mainstream media are fervently supporting in Ukraine?*

*/drags… It’s utterly shameful…*

As a further enticement to purchasing a copy of UAXX, Dear Reader, the Afterword is reproduced in full below… I did say it’s for free 😉

*******

Afterword

by Roo B. Doo

Welcome, Dear Reader, to the Afterword of this here Underdog Anthology. Not sure if you’ve realised but this volume bears the sign of the double-cross. Watch out! How we’ve managed to get to number XX I’ll never know 😉

A double-cross is an ‘act of treachery’. In 1941, MI5 set up a military counter espionage unit called The Twenty Committee. The naming of this unit clearly linked the double crosses of the Roman numerals for twenty (XX) with one of the unit’s aims, which was to ‘double cross’ Germany by coercing German spies to become English double agents. In April XX-XX, the UK’s chief of the defence staff General Sir Nick Carter revealed the secretive 77th Brigade of the British Army was involved in countering coronavirus misinformation online. A double dose of double-cross. Yikes to be on the end of that!

There is also a double-cross in ‘vaxx’ which, sadly to say, people are continuing to discover is entirely apt.

How about a sing-song, Dear Reader, to cheer ourselves up? As is traditional on this dead poets page, the lyrics of a poem or song are carved up, mangled and mutilated to fit a current thing. This time, to add a little piquancy, only one of the songwriters, Kelly Gordon, is dead. Dean Kay is alive and thriving, according to Wikipedia, which makes this a dead but alive offering.

The most famous version of this song is by Frank Sinatra and it’s a belter. He’s definitely dead but, in life, had a reputation for hanging out with Mafia types and, it is said, the famous singer/movie superstar character, Johnny Fontane, in The Godfather was based on Frank Sinatra. That resulted in a bed full of horse’s head. The Mafia, now there’s an organisation where the double-cross is just part and parcel of doing business.

Considering where we are, some might say that’s also apt…

Vaxx Life

Vaxx life

(Vaxx life)

That’s what all the politicians say

Get the first jab in April, shot two in May

They said we’d have to be immune

If we wanted to see Disney World in June

 

They said Vaxx life

(Vaxx life)

Governments and Media scream

‘You Anti-vaxxers get your kicks

Stopping our Build Back Better dream

But they don’t let it, let it get them down

Cause they believe they can still win us around

 

They tried persuasion, peer pressure, payola, proscription

And pure gaslighting

We’ve been set up, locked down over and over

Just to get one thing

Each lie they come up with

Told to our face

‘It’s safe & effective’

They’re a fucking disgrace

 

Vaxx life

(Vaxx life)

They tell us, ‘you must comply’ yet

The thought of acquiescing, baby

Well, my heart just ain’t gonna buy that

Cause if I wobble and take one single try

What’s the betting that I’d be that one to die

 

Or get blood clots, Bells palsy, brain tumour, breast cancer

or blood poisoning

On top of getting Covid over and over

The ‘Long Covid’ thing

Each time the Media tries lying

Right to our face

‘It’s safe and effective’

They’re a fucking disgrace

 

Vaxx life

(Vaxx life)

There’s anger, I can’t deny it

The thought of cutting heads off, I must still decry it

But if they ever give it one more try

People will rise up

And this time they’ll die

No Lie

*******

I’ll also be posting up my story from Underdog Anthology XX later this week. It’s called Wholly Ghost and it’s the eighth installment of my Ronageddon series. If you are unfamiliar with previous seven stories, there is a link to them under ‘Pages’ on the left-hand sidebar. 

*Sumfin like that, Clicky… /stubs butt… ;)*

… In the meantime, Dear Reader, have a Song! ❤

Extended CLICK5… CLICKB8: A Fourth Turning Tale – Having A Word In The Afterword…

Extended CLICK5… CLICKB8: Underdog Anthology XVIII – The Hole In The Veil…

Extended CLICK5… CLICKB8: Syncing Ship…

CLICK5: Sur La Caricature, Monsieur…

Did He Say Lennon or Lenin’s On Sale Again?

*/lights up and smokes… Ah, it’s Lennon. Mind you, Lenin works just as well, Clicky, when you consider how much repacked communism is currently being shoved down our throats…*

Hello Dear Reader! 😀

If you saw Clicky’s post yesterday…

… You’ll know that the latest Underdog Anthology of short stories, number 17, has now been published…

… And if you avail yourself of Amazon’s ‘free preview’ button, you will see that my story contribution this time is called ‘731 Days Later…’

*Yes, Clicky, it’s a ‘Harry’ story… /flicks ash… set 731 days after the last one… more or less…*

… And whilst I will publish my new story here at the LoL, Dear Reader, I’ll not do that just yet.

Today I’m gonna give you the Afterword, the ‘dead poets page’, where I butcher and mutilate the words of a deceased poet to tell of some wacky occurrence happening in the world at the time of mangling. However, first you will need to re-familiarize yourself with an old song…

*I had so much fucking fun working on this one, Clicky…*

Afterword

by Roo B. Doo

Whilst in exile in Switzerland, shortly before the start of the Russian revolution, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin said:

“There are decades when nothing happens; and there are weeks when decades happen”.

We appear, Dear Reader, to be living through such weeks.

2019 now feels like it occurred at least ten years ago. Pestilence arrived in 2020, closely followed by Death, that has ramped up alarmingly despite the waning Covid pandemic. Then, at the start of this year, War became the main topic of conversation. The demented father of a crack addict installed in the US White House through a ‘fortified’ election keeps threatening to escalate Russia’s military incursion into the Ukraine into World War Three. Broken supply chains and skyrocketing inflation surely mean that Famine can’t be that far off now. Western governments and supranational organisations, such as the World Economic Forum, proclaim that shortly we will ‘have nothing and be happy’, whilst they intend to ‘Build Back Better’. Global corporate media calls anyone in disagreement with this vision a ‘bigot’, whilst waxing lyrical over how nutritious and tasty mealworm is.

All in all, it feels like we’re being gaslit and abused into accepting a dystopian future, one with a lot less of us in it. So it was quite amazing that for most of April and all of May this year, a legal trial was held in Fairfax, Virginia that appeared to be a perfect demonstration of ‘as above, so below’, or Mandlebrot set, if you’re so inclined, for anyone with an internet connection to see it. Every second was televised and millions upon millions of people tuned in to watch the legal teams for two Hollywood millionaire actors battle it out over tawdry allegations of gaslighting, domestic abuse and cancellation. It was glorious.

As I started this afterword with the words of Lenin, I shall finish it with the mutilated words of Lennon, John Lennon to be exact, a dead poet if there ever was one, as I regale you with the ballad of Johnny C Depp II versus Amber Laura Heard*…

The Trial of Johnny & Woko*

Standing in the court in Virginia
Accusations of attempts to defame
The man that played Jack said, “They gave me the sack
All I want is to win back my good name”

Judge, you know it ain’t easy
Giving testimony
But way things were going
Hollywood had crucified me

When Issac took the stand for his friend Johnny
Amber’s crazy cat lady lawyer, Elaine
Asked how he air kissed
Until Issac got pissed
And the watching world cried “Are you fuckin’ insane?!”

Judge, you know it ain’t easy
What if anything is Amica cream?
The way things are goin’
Twitter’s gonna to crucify me

When Johnny testified in his own defense
How Amber’s abuse of him never ceased
When the housekeeper said, “Your wife’s shat in your bed”
I said, “Divorce. I need to get me some peace”

Judge, you know it ain’t easy
When your ex is diagnosed Cluster B
The way things are goin’
Amber’s still trying to crucify me

“Objection!”, “Hearsay!”, “Leading!” the lawyers cried
“Sustained”, “Overruled” replied Judge Azcarate
The gallery sat, patiently enwrapped
Social media was out of control
“Link”

Then Amber got to tell her side of the story
Tales of beatings, drug binges and fear
Full of sound and fury, she mugged to the jury
But couldn’t even shed a fake tear

Judge, you know it ain’t easy
When your dog steps on a bee
The way things are goin’
Tik-Tok is going to crucify me

After six long weeks the trial finally ended
The jury went off to deliberate
When they came back, they said “Amber’s a hack
Have eight million, Johnny, go celebrate”

Judge, you know it ain’t easy
You know how hard it can be
Keep our identities secret
Don’t let the Press crucify me

The way things are goin’
You know they’ll wanna crucify me

*No, but it was worthy of Bowie, Clicky… /stubs butt… That woman really is the Face of Woke…*

As it happens, John Lennon and David Bowie, both deceased poets, did know each other and collaborated on some songs. Most notably one that could have been written for Amber Heard and gets to the heart of her particular addiction.

Dear Reader, have a Song 😉 

CLICK5: Horses For Courses…

https://youtu.be/KCPYy2fRp-4