A difficult challenge for me today: songs to drive to. Sound easy, but I can’t drive and neither can Poppy Sweet Pea…

*Only if Thoughtful Man is late picking me up and I’m dying for a piss, Clicky…*

*No, a desperate need to poo is more of a clench than a dance…*

… Fortunately, they’ve provided today’s intro songs, and once again, I’ll be relying on Cade to do the heavy lifting. So, buckle up, Dear Reader, it could be a bumpy ride… 😉

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Day 7: Songs to drive to

Cade’s first song pick…

Um…this may come off as “a piss take” to my cousins across the pond, but it isn’t. I honestly got nothin’ here. There are no songs that make me want to drive…

*Ow! What you doing, Clicky? …/rubs knees… So Cade read today’s challenge wrong? I’m sure it won’t matter…*

I haven’t owned a car in over 7 years, and I drive maybe 3 or 4 times per year at most. Not only that, I used to listen to albums when I would drive, but I’m getting nothing with respect to “songs that make me want to drive”…

*Look, it’s obviously bugging you, Clicky. Go tell him it’s songs to drive to and see what he sez. I’ll wait…*

*Wadi say?*

*I see. Well, let’s just continue then, shall we? Honestly, Clicky, you’re too persnickety…*

I sit in a room, all day, every day, and rarely venture more than a few feet outside every few days just to look at the sky and see what the weather is doing. What in the FUCK would I know about songs that inspire me to drive?

Automobiles are devices for getting to somewhere. Or maybe even getting away from somewhere. The ability to listen to music whilst in transit is just an added bonus. So yeah, when I lived in Chesapeake Beach Maryland and had to drive 50 miles (80km) to McLean Virginia each way every day? Album. When I lived in Charles Town West Virginia and had to drive 55 miles (88km) to Washington Dulles Airport each way every day? Album. Hell, even when I lived in Mesquite Texas and had to drive 34 miles (54 km) to D/FW Airport each day…album. For short hops in the car? Talk radio. Still…no songs are coming to mind. Am thinking of a lot of albums, but no individual songs.

I can think of some songs that might be thought of as a tune to “drive fast”, but I can’t think of a single song that would make me think: “HEY! I NEED TO JUMP INTO THE CAR AND DRIVE SO I CAN LISTEN TO THIS SONG THAT I COULD JUST AS EASILY LISTEN TO RIGHT HERE AND NOW!!!” Songs that I am thinking of that one might want to drive fast to? Welp, ‘Jesus Built My Hotrod‘ by Ministry, ‘The Race‘ by Yello, ‘Are You Gonna Go My Way‘ by Lenny Kravitz, ‘Who Was In My Room Last Night‘ by the Butthole Sufers, ‘Jawbreaker‘ by Judas Priest, ‘Wango Tango‘ by Ted Nugent, ‘Kickstart My Heart‘ by Motley Crue, ‘Fuel‘ by Metallica, ‘Power And The Glory‘ by Saxon, and maybe even ‘Tommy The Cat‘ by Primus. Not really on that last one by Primus tho. Cool tune, but I personally associate it with flying more than driving because I used to listen to that song when practicing aerobatics on MS Flight Simulator. Digress.

Truth is, I can’t even think of a song that inspires me to drive fast. I’ve owned some high-octane toys in my life. An airplane, a jet-boat, an 1100cc motorcycle and three sports cars. Each has their own peculiarities, but in the cars, every time prior to doing something stupid, step one was to turn the car stereo…off. If I’m doing 140mph (225kph) or better in 1.5 tons of what is potentially rolling death to myself and/or someone else, I want to hear every single thing that car is doing and everything that is going on around me. I wanna hear how the engine sounds, how the road sounds and how the tires sound on the road, how the wind sounds, and it’d also be nice to hear the siren(s) should any suddenly appear as I slow down and they catch up to me. I wanna feel every vibration that car is resonating and transmitting to my body so that I know exactly what is going on in the event there’s a precursor to trouble. Helps me better utilize my eyes to watch the road and the gauges as I’m ripping gears and standing on the accelerator. Can’t achieve all that if the radio is blaring music, irrespective of what the song may be.

^David Bowie I’m Deranged^

Roob’s first song pick…

So as I was saying, I can’t drive a car. I don’t want to drive either. I hated learning to drive…

*Sumfin like that, Clicky…*

I’m just not meant to drive. Trust me, it’s better this way for everybody 😉

^Drive My Car – MonaLisa Twins (The Beatles Cover)^

Cade’s second song pick…

OH! Since the tunes are a bit thin and/or completely irrelevant to the topic…I passed whatshername in the kitchen the other day and mentioned that I was doing this song challenge. Told her the topic for that day, summer, and she said something to the effect of “surely someone picked a Beach Boys song.”

Nope

So seeing as how the Beach Boys are known for “summer music”, they also known somewhat for “driving music” like ‘Fun Fun Fun‘ and/or “car songs” like ‘Little Deuce Coup‘, and also seeing as how today is Christmas Eve, how bout I pass along a or two from a Christmas album that means a great deal to me personally, and you could potentially not even know this album even exists. Yes, The Beach Boys made a Christmas album.

^The Beach Boys – The Man with All the Toys (Lyrics)^

The whole album is really good, and I’m pretty sure that this was the first time that I as a child had heard Christmas music…erm…”take a break from being the same old songs sung by different celebrities”. Don’t get me wrong, there are some carols/Christmas songs performed by certain singers that I loved and were staples around Christmas time. But this Beach Boys album was WAY fucking different from anything I’d ever heard before.

Roob’s second song pick…

Seriously. I’m not even a back seat driver…

^Iggy Pop – The Passenger^

Cade’s third song pick…

Anyway, sorry I couldn’t provide you with any driving music. Hope it doesn’t drive you crazy that I couldn’t deliver. Merry Christmas.

❤

^Little Saint Nick – The Beach Boys • Lyrics •^

Roob’s third song pick…

And I’m not one of those car hating Green nutters neither…

^Catatonia – Road Rage (Official Music Video^

I just don’t drive.

The final word from Roob Clicky…

*/sniffs… That’s you’re opinion, Clicky…*

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We’ll be back with two posts tomorrow, Dear Reader. I’ll be posting ‘Lust Christmas’, my story from Underdog Anthology 10 for you to read, as well as Day 8 of the Song Challenge – ‘songs about drugs or alcohol’. But not when you’re driving 😉

Have a Song…